OK, so what are the running costs for a baby?

[SmokeMeAKipper]

This must be on here somewhere but my searches either have thousands of hits or none at all, so...

Excluding capital outlay on carseat, cot, pram etc (which we hope to be given/borrow or will come out of savings), how much does a new baby cost to run per month in nursery fees, nappies etc, if both parents work full time?

DH, ever the organised money type, wants to work out how much it's going to increase our monthly outgoings before we even start ttc.

Any advice, links, warnings, recommendations etc gratefully received...

Amazed by the cost that you have for nursery full time. For me it is £600 per month for one child!!!!
and the prices of other nurseries around are quite similar.....
For me that's the BIG financial issue with having a child, actually the one that stops me having a third one...
Another big cost is nappies.Reusable are cheaper but I would be careful of buying one tye of nappy up front assuming that it will fit your baby. Took me ages to find the ones that worked for DS1 and then DS2 (shape issue + size) and that both me and DH would be happy to use.
TBH, having a child will cost money but your life will change and there are a lot of things that you might be doing now that you are not doing after baby (going to the pub every friday, to the cinema as often etc...), that's where the 'extra' money that all don't have is coming from

oh hub2dee, you make parenthood sound so appealing...

have now put the monetary case to DH, and after lots of umming and erring it came out that he thought the costs of having a baby would mean we'd be stuck at home hoarding 50ps for the electricity meter and subsisting solely on Tesco Value beans.

One large Excel sheet later, including everyone's baby-cost advice, and some very complex tax and salary calculations (told you he was the organised type) we worked out that it'd mean an increase of less than 20% on his current 'contributions to household'.
Which he thinks is well worth it, and has suggested Rhianna would be a pretty name for a girl...

(I didnt tell him about the vomiting-in-mouth thing though.)

Keep the econo-baby advice coming though - I'd never thought reusable nappies would save money, for example, much less buying them on ebay! Any other suggestions?

You will be poor for the next 20 years

But you will have a lovely BABY

Don't budget on anything IME - you might hate hate hate the thought of returning to work, so don't commit to anything

it'd mean an increase of less than 20% on his current 'contributions to household'.

Having a baby involves a big change in the way you view finances.

The first is that if he is going to view HIS wages as being HIS money, then I would find someone else to have a baby with

babies cost whatever the bank balance and/or credit card can stand.

if you are easily pleased by hand-me-downs, second-hand, reusable nappies and wipes, making your own babyfood and bf then not so much. Eg, you can get a very good 2nd hand pushchair at the NCT nearly new sales for about £50 or you can get the latest fashionable gadget for £500. If you have a family member to look after you baby at least part of the time, then you are in relative hog heaven.

nursery fees will by far be the most costly part of the first years. Depending on where you live, i live in the NE and my dd goes to nursery f/t and that costs £570 per month. however, much more exhorbitant in London and the SE.

There are loads of ways of doing things more cheaply - homemade, reusables (even wipes - at £1.50 minimum for 80, making your own is cheap as chips), Freecycle, ebay, NCT sales, BF as long as possible, stave off weaning as long as possible, etc. But you tend to also spend a fortune on pretty clothes, jingly toys, gadgets to make life easier, etc. I think that the answer is that nobody can afford a baby until they have one. And then they wonder what on earth they spend their money on before they had the nicest baby in the whole wide world!

(Mind you, I'm lucky - I'm the one who thinks "eek, should I buy this completely frivolous item when DH works so hard to bring in the money" and DH says "fgs Corrie, it's OUR bloody money". Top tip: If you're going to have a baby together, the words 'our' and 'together' and 'joint account' are essential vocabulary.)

morningpaper, I'm not sure I agree with you there I'm afraid.
At the moment we're both working and earning more-or-less equal salaries. We each contribute an equal amount into the 'house account' to pay mortgage, bills, groceries, regular amount into long-term savings etc, and the rest of the money is our own, although we contribute equally from our personal accounts to big things like holidays and take it in turns to buy dinners out, cinema tickets etc.

If we both continue working (which I appreciate I might not but that's a separate issue) I'm not sure I see any reason to change this, with childcare and baby stuff coming out of the 'house account' and hence each of our contributions to it going up.

Are we utterly wrong? Will this fail miserably? Have people tried this and discovered it doesn?t work? I mean, it?s worked for us for [counts] seven years ? will it all go tits up if we have a baby?

Smokeme: How will you feel if you don't want to go back to work and leave your baby? If that would feel like ripping your heart in two and you would rather die than do it?

How will you feel if it comes down to DH handing you "house-keeping money"?

How will you feel if your DH has £10 a week more than you to spend on himself?

Why not put ALL the money into the joint account and each keep THE SAME AMOUNT back for personal allowance, say a couple of hundred pounds each (if you can afford that?)

I don't think it will go tits up, though yours might go down after a momentary dance with the angels up high... ... but I think people just mean it tends to change things. Don't get me wrong - lifes till continues, but your energy / finance / love / time get subverted and redirected (in a nice way LOL) towards the bundle. Everything else becomes semi-irrelevant as long as you have a lifestyle you both find acceptable IYSWIM which you also feel keeps bundle modeately happy.

I only had mouth-to-mouth vom once, because I'm a quick learner.

I like mp's last idea. Prior to kids, perhaps everyone threw something into 'the pot'. After kids, 'the pot' is everything, and if you need something from it, you each take out what you need IYSWIM.

SmokeMeaKipper, it worked for dh and I both pre-and post-baby, but then I continued to work pt after baby was here. Now dh's salary is starting to overtake mine (because I am pt of course) and will continue to do so in the future. So at some point in the near future, I imagine that he would have to up his contribution to the joint account to pay for all the added expenses of a larger house, school fees etc, with No.2 on the way.

But the joint/single account split is really only in administration. At the end of the day, we perceive the total household income as "ours" (though there will be a small discretionary element allowed to each party to spend on treats for him/herself).

But if you are going to give up work, I would insist on all dh's money going into the joint "pot" with each party keeping a single account into which an agreed discretionary amount is paid in every month by direct debit. That way, you get more protection and recognition that your contribution to the home is valuable.

hub2dee I like the cut of your jib

I can see keeping back a little 'personal' money and pooling the rest might work, but pooling everything is a sure-fire recipe for disaster as DH is the kind of spender who would see a balance in the joint account of £2000 and think 'ooh we can buy that plasma screen television' when actually most of that money's already been allocated to mortgage, bills, next week's groceries etc.
Hence the need for him to have a 'personal' account so that he can budget effectively, and when it's empty, it's empty!

I, on the other hand, would have great diffculty buying anything non-household with money from the joint account and can see myself needing my personal account so I don't end up with holes in my shoes that I think I mustn't get mended because it's house money.

Actually the more I think about this the weirder we seem. I think I'll shut up before I expose all our financial hangups to the whole of MN...

Why thank you. I can see where you're coming from though; attempting to harmonise two different spending styles / attitudes.... and wanting to 'work on this' / agree an acceptable strategy before becoming a sleep-deprived milk factory... I imagine though if you've made life, with all its challenges, work together in your partnership you will muddle along beautifully once you have created a machine to produce excrement and exude lurrrrrrrrrve.

It is quite difficult to predict what will happen when you have ababy. Finances you see when pg or ttc are not necessarily the ones that will exist when you have the baby. When I got pg with ds I was in a very good job earning decent amount..dh and I had regular holidays abroad and he was doing a phd. I got pg and worked until week before due date..then I had ds and was struck with horrendous depression. I returned to work for 2 mths before being signed off. All of a sudden we were in a situation of complete debt as my wage went to ssp and dh was only bringing in a grant from phd. He had to go and find a job quickly where he brought in £6000 a year less than I had and it struck us hard. We have since had a dd and am pg again.

I dont intend to scare you but just to say working on household contributions etc is all well and good but you dont know what will actually happen. I am now a sahm to a 2yr old, 7mth old and will have baby in jan. To be honest I wouldnt change anything I have been through as I love my kids to bits and even though times are hard we love it. If you can go through all of that and not having your budget at all[basically every penny goes on kids here] then go for it.

I think a baby costs you whatever spare money you have and though you'll inevitably be strapped for cash once you've had a kid / kids it only lasts for a few years. (Ds is now 2.9 and we can really see the light at the end of the tunnel financially, mainly because in 6 months he'll be at nursery school so I won't need to entertain him 24/7 and also he's not growing so fast so needs a slower supply of stuff and toys etc to stimulate him.)
My main piece of advice would be to have a rainy-day fund if at all possible. We had 6 months mortgage payments and living costs in savings when we had ds which were very useful when dh got made redundant unexpectedly (it took him 2 months to find another job.)
I'd also consider how you'd manage if you decide you don't want to return to work. You may surprise yourself. (I never thought I'd be a full-time mum, but that's what I chose and dh was really supportive of me turning our "plans" on their head.)

just go and do the deed

as I'm sure you know, pregnancy lasts around 9 months and during that time, let him do infinite spreadsheets and just mumble 'ooh ahh' at how wonderful they are and then go shopping and buy all the cute baby clothes you like

also, like someone says, if you can get a full time nursery place through your workplace for £360 or whatever it was, book that place as soon as you conceive

Smokemekipper, DH and I run our finances in a similar way to you and your DH because we want to maintain our financial independence. DH works full time and I work 3 days a week. We both know what the other party earns and we have divided the bills between us. DH pays the mortgage and I pay the rest of the bills. We have no problems with that arrangement, we regularly discuss financial issues and we save regular amounts. Do what makes you feel happy.

As for how much a baby costs, well we have twin boys and other than the main capital cost of cots and pram, we have not spent a great deal to be honest. I use Aldi nappies (not available for newborns though), I only buy their clothes from Asda or Primark, anything else is from friends and family. Also, they only have 5 or 6 outfits each - they don't need a lot and babies don't care what they wear so imo, brand names are a waste of money. Most of their toys are from friends and family and most of their books I buy from discount shops, ebay or Amazon Market place or just borrow them from the library. As for food, our food bill has not really risen considerably (babies and toddlers don't eat as much as adult).

You really don't have to spend a lot. Most parents who spend a lot do so because it is about them rather than the child. Good luck!

Actually, I forgot that the other big cost we have is childcare (over £900 per month for 3 days a week for both boys). I use to save £1200 per month from my full time salary before the boys were born so as you can see, that has seriously been depeleted, but for a good cause. If I could do it for £360, I would be delighted!

Smoke - I totally understand where your DH is coming from, mine is the same. Excel sheets fro everything. Having said that, looking at our 'individual' finances I'm the one who just chugs along quite happily wheras he always seems to be having trouble repaying his OD etc - I think the control thing is his way of managing his money anxiety!

Practically speaking, DH and I agreed before DS arrived that we would each have the same 'personal' allowance as eachother even thugh we earned slightly (a grand or so difference) amounts if we work FT. However, cautionary note: We agreed it but when it came down to it he resisted the change and tried to argue that he needed more as he still perceived his income to be 'his' rather than 'ours' and he downright refused to have his salary paid into out joint account. I got round it with him by being very firm and he is now allowed to hold back only what I have each month too but he feels better about it because his salary goes first into his account then most of it on to the joint. Convoluted but psychologically easier!

I also found at the beginning that I was more likely than him to buy 'extras' for the baby from my personal money as I felt bad about taking it from the joint account. I'd definitely advise adding a 'baby maintainance' section to your joint budget so you don't end up spending all your 'personal' money while he still has enought buy ipods etc.

Arrghh! waffling - sorry. Very pot-holed subject the money thing but if your DH is that type - get it sorted before baby arrives rather than after when you're all emotional anyway.

Nursery voucher schemes (if your employer is/will get involved) can save some money - think my employer & DP's company are both using Busy Bees. Basically you pay childcare direct from your salary before tax is deducted. Both parents can use it.

ooh smoke just go and get jiggy willya!

(hub2dee has it right as ever. He's a clever chap which is why we allow him in )

Smoke - they are too much. YOu will never have enough money. BUT it's soooooooo worth it. You'll manage.
Get as much equipment as you can off friends/family/ebay. Sell it on when you don't need it any more and use the money to but the next lot of stuff you need.