Can we have a support thread for people who are massively in debt?

[Nerfmother]

Because you can't talk about it in real life? We owe 44k, reduced from 60k in a year. Not including mortgage.
It's so depressing.
Dh is determined to pay it off and so bankruptcy or plans isn't an option. I do think its doable, just hard hard hard.

Thanks Nerf, that's a good idea.

Hopefully I'll be able help to someone on this thread soon.

I'm very lucky to have a great primary school literally on my doorstep. DS starts in Aug at which time I move to being a homeworker so will save in travelling time/money and childcare costs!

Jemima,maybe targeting the lowest balance would be good for you...a quicker result will spur you on to tackle more

jemima
Hopefully I'll be able help to someone on this thread soon.
don't rush
it took me 30 years

as a kid my mum always called on others
as a grown up I make a point of rebalancing that - even thogh its different people in a different city

look after yourself for now

We are all doing so well.

It is nice to have a thread like this. To openly discuss your debt with little judgement. I often feel abnormal and wonder what friends/family would think if they knew.

Living frugally day in day out is soul destroying. It is hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I agree. I hate the feeling I'm being judged. I already beat myself up enough that we got in this mess. There's no point someone pointing out that it's better not to, we all know that, none of us choose to be in this mess.

I'm so glad I can't borrow any money, I don't ever want a credit card again. I can't wait to be in a position where I can start paying off the debt again.

I haven't read whole thread but wow, OP, you cut it by 25% in a year. That's fantastic.

I agree kazza. I've never had a credit card and I never want one. I'd be too tempted to buy clothes and fancy cheese and other non essentials.

Jemima my DP also doesn't know I think it's the worst part when it eats you up inside and there's no one to spill to.

I'm in Newark. A reasonably nice, quiet little town but unfortunately that also means that well paying jobs are few and far between and neither of us drive. We're lucky though, in a sense, that we do have jobs. I guess something is better than nothing.

That is so true kitty; credit cards are too easy and posh popcorn and 'little' treats are definitely part of the problem. I have cut up the one I paid off.
Most if the debt is in dh's name although all the finances are shared. I'm aiming at clearing mine first then joint ('only' a small overdraft) so that one of us is clear rather than both together.
More worried about credit cards tbh. The loans have an end in sight.

Am trawling e bay etc looking for cheap kitchen units :)
Have also found some lovely sofas too!

All the debt I talk about here is my name only (inc mortgage)...DP has his own to take care of. He knows I have CCs and loans though not current extent of the balances!

His debt is primarily left over from his marriage which he his working away at. Once he's in the clear we plan on putting mortgage into joint names.

We split household/DS costs proportionally in line with our wages (think it's currently 60/40 to me). He works 28hrs but that will go to 35 come August hopefully which will help.

Planning a NSD today...muffins I made yesterday. Stew in slow cooker and lunch stuff in for Min/Tue.

Well. My friend walked out of the place we work in last night (he has a new one so it was only a matter of time with the way that place is going).

In theory I should pick up a few extra hours. In theory.

I just can't see the point of worrying my DP with it. He panics about debt and money and has no idea how to deal with it, whereas I've sadly been there before (I was a reckless 18 year old and didn't pay for a magazine subscription and it got our of hand) so I've had some experience and I know people who've been on serious debt and it's just easier this way.

The other day he told me he wanted to get an Argos card so he could buy a ps4. Just...no..

My DP is the same, reasonably level headed until something takes his fancy (usually golf related!)...he lives one pay day to the next. Whereas I'm a planner...I've a forecast spreadsheet that takes me up to 2021 lol good news is that it forecasts I will be debt/mortgage free in Aug 2020...providing nothing goes up in price, no major repairs to either if the ancient cars or moneypit house, no social life or indeed any life lol but hey, it keeps me focused

I've told him he can save up. He'll enjoy it more that way!

Ooh mum what a fun filled few years we have to look forward to!

Another cracking money saver : see how many meals you can create by tidying and emptying down the fridge freezer and cupboards ....
we did nearly a week !

Lol I know Nerf...can hardly contain myself at the thought of it!

TiP, I meal plan around what I have in fridge/freezer/cupboards every week...apart from saving loads of money, it really cuts down in waste too.

I have some fixed dishes that I rotate over the weeks - this coming week it's mince week so will do a big batch in slow cooker overnight which will become lasagne, spag Bol and chilli for example. I also have chicken weeks which is Sunday roast, chicken fried rice then soup with the bones ...

Meal planning is okay, but you also need to be flexible - eg lidl had quorn mince not fillets so I'm doing chilli now not chips and quorn and beans. I'm also thinking about how to do without the stuff I then go and get from tesco- dh has agreed to try bottles of lidl coke rather than Pepsi max in cans, and if we don't use quorn ham we can maybe avoid going anywhere else.

For me, the hardest things about debt are:
A kind of f**k it, we'll never be free lets just go out to lunch attitude and:
A pennies count when paying off attitude - ie even an extra tenner a month will make it go quicker.
It's awful to get past payday where there is no spare money so you can't reduce the debt at all and have to wait.

Found the thread! Was kindly referred here by Nerfmother - hope nobody minds me re-posting from Credit Crunch..

My debts (not including student loan) are:

£1k remaining of a £4k graduate loan (I pay 100/month but 20 comes back off as interest)
£500 on one cc (only paying minimum)
£1650 overdraft (not shrinking)
£1500 on another cc (only paying £50/month at the mo)

At the moment I'm struggling month to month but am committed to getting rid of this debt. I've cut up both cards and don't ever want one again. Due to my crap credit the bank will not give me a loan to consolidate. Is there anything I can do/re-prioritise to get rid of this? If I carry on like this I think it's going to take another 3 years, which is a long time, but I can do it if no other option...

Thanks in advance - off to read the thread through now!

Nerf, agree. Sometimes I think we're no nearer to paying it off, what will one lunch out matter? I have no vices, don't smoke, only have occasional glass of wine, don't have a social life, no hobbies, memberships ... Would like to occasionally be able to eat at the pub

I am off to aldi this week...!
Food is a massive cost to us...we live in a village and the only shop is a co op (which I like but it is £££)
Nearest town has an asda, tesco and aldi.
Won't shop in tesco (unethical bastards) so tend to shop at asda and the co op.
But will give aldi a go.
We have 3 years left on our fixed rate mortgage which is sort of my time limit in laying this debt off???goodness knows what IR will be by then so being debt free would be a good idea!

Nerf...yes that mindset is hard to shift.

Badvoc Aldi is awesome!
We did our aldi shop this morning £72 including nappies & wipes, stuff for DPs packed lunches too.
We only bought milk & bread last week and lived out of cupboards & freezer so we even included a couple of treats this week - bottle of coke 42p and 4 luxury toffee yoghurts at 29p each.
I LOVE Aldi, we used to spend £120 - £150 a week at tesco for me, DP & 2dds.

I've Tesco within walking distance so tend to stick to there...I could no doubt save a few quick by finding an Aldi/Lidl but it would need to take into account travel costs/time...I always shop with a list though and rarely fall for the 'unbeatable' offers...I stock up in bargains (yesterday for example I got loads of herbs/spice jars reduced to 25p each (apparently they are changing packaging so all old stock has to go). For meat I'm going to go back to a farm shop I found in Dec...it was £26 meat pack I bought but we're just having the last of it now!

That 'feck it' attitude is a hard one,isn't it? I find it particularly hard with house related stuff at the moment...have so many things I want to do to drag house into this millennium but always having to hold back...

I prefer Lidl to Aldi but I admit I can afford to choose (veg comes from Waitrose or the garden)

The light at the end of the tunnel is NOT an oncoming truck ... its you finding a way through this and all future crises