Can we have a support thread for people who are massively in debt?

[Nerfmother]

Because you can't talk about it in real life? We owe 44k, reduced from 60k in a year. Not including mortgage.
It's so depressing.
Dh is determined to pay it off and so bankruptcy or plans isn't an option. I do think its doable, just hard hard hard.

Whoops sorry, laptop playing up!

Can i join please? I have a bank loan for car (not really in a position to clear this at the moment so will continue paying £300 a month) and other loans (not massive in perspective but just under £6300) which i plan to clear asap. due to the car loan im not in a position to pay massive amounts towards the other debts. i looked at the loan spreadsheets and have worked out a minimum to repay and also an additional amount i would like to ideally pay (if that makes sense?!). ive rejigged my budgets to include an envelopes account and im going to change my food budget to weekly instead of monthly and any leftover money can go towards debts. hopefully these will help! will keep my eyes and ears open for other tips and advice!

Hi Ellie, you sound as though you have got yourself really well organised already!
I am having a debate with myself over food shopping at the moment. No matter how hard I try to stay under budget, I always seem to go over. Last month I got all the money out in cash to pay weekly so I knew I wasn't dipping into my other money for shopping. However, I ran out early! This month I am debating whether to do a really big shop for the month. I would do my meal plans for the whole month then buy everything I can at the start. We have two freezers and plenty of room in them. Each week I would do top-up shops for for the things I need on a weekly basis like fruit/veg, yogurts, cold meat etc. What do people think? Would I maybe spend less this way?

Food shopping
yes , menu plan and ONLY buy what is on the plan or do like for like swap if something is cheaper
stickered meat straight into the freezer is a godsend
and NO snacks
if you buy chocolate, buy bars and dole out by the square - look at the price per 100g on the shelf to see why
loose stuff is always cheaper than packaged
and the less ingredients on the side of the packet the better value

Can I join???

I'm in about 6K of debt, worst part is, DH has no idea.

I'm prone to living beyond my means, and am now on maternity leave with salary about to nose-dive.

I need some resolve, no more lunches, take out coffee, or fancy make up.

Does anyone have any advice/tips?

Should I try to clear overdraft (2.5K) or credit card first?

Please don't tell me to tell DH, he just won't understand

Talkin do you rent yourself out to sit on people's shoulders when they are shopping? You would be so useful

Lol at AbbyLou
if you read the 5:2 threads you'll know that I have managed to scare people out of buying crisps and fizzy just by being on the same internet forum!

Mammaduck
WElcome.
Chances are the overdraft is a higher rate
so set the card on payment freeze (as per my spreadsheet) and then whack the overdraft.
And get used to spending less on yourself : kids have that effect!

Hi Mama, how scary for you dealing with your debt on your own, At least I know dh and I are in this together. We are a great team. It's taken me a while to train him but he's getting there. He knows how serious the situation is and has got a lot better at watching what he spends.

i have been trialling a monthly food budget but then dont really know what im spending on a weekly basis and any extra is free money (obviously not the point!). I will figure this all out. DP isnt very good with money but i am fed up of that being an excuse. He has to learn!! I feeling really fed up tonight. I took DD to a playdate earlier and their house was beautiful and far bigger than I can ever see myself being able to afford. I know everyone is different but i really need to just take control of my own finances once and for all. The mums were talking about their planned holidays and i just sat there nodding. when i have sorted all this out i will have a lovely holiday too! also in the process of sorting out mortgages etc (we rent our house from my parents and plan to buy a % depending on the mortgage we can get) so want to be in the best financial position to be able to do that too.

Abbylou - my parents monthly shop, they've always done it and swear by it - my dad is super anal about budgeting, he makes his porridge, pops it on the table to cool an set and takes him morning coffee of To check his bank account

I try to manage mine by getting a weekly delivery of veg that I meal plan around. I also get chicken carcasses to make stock and do lots of soups for lunch, and frozen meat and veg for tea, or veggie stir fries etc. doesn't always work, but we are eating better than ever before and spending far less in tesco.

Apologies for all the iPhone spelling and grammar fails!

Hi Ellie - well done! You sound really organised.
Mama - don't worry. We might suggest stuff but we are totally supportive. No carry over of AIBU here. but I would probably pluck up courage to tell dh I think overdraft. Can you ask your bank to out you on a reducing overdraft each month? We did this once and it went down by 25 quid a month?
Not sure about monthly plans unless you are super good at not being tempted in a supermarket. Do you have an in exciting corner shop for milk and bread?

I wish we could pay more than £20, its £5 per month to 4 different debts. Money is extreamly tight at the moment. We have £1200 per month to live on / pay rent, bills etc.

I do hope I can increase at some point. I have a spreadsheet that's got all payments made, so we can see it going down. Might get all the details out and add on all payments from last jan (when everything went tits up) so I can see how far (if only a little bit) we've come.

Winter at least it's going down not up! Dh set up a spreadsheet and it's fantastic to see the overall percentage going down.
We will soon be in a slightly better position financially so will be hitting the debt with more if possible.
We like to still have a life to be honest, albeit a very frugal one!

thanks i may sound organised but that is far from reality. ive just spent a lot of time lately trying to work out realistic budgets but now the hard part is sticking to it - and convincing DP to stick to it too!

Reducing overdraft sounds good, I'd love to pay it off without noticing IYSWIM!

Would love to tell DH. He's older than me (read FAR more sensible with money). Money is the only thing we've ever fought about. He's always had plenty, and is a good saver. I am the opposite. So I think telling him could result in a major busy up.

I keep telling myself 6K isn't too bad... I can clear it somehow, yet it continues to grow annually.

I need some tough love so will be on here regularly for motivating chitter with you all!

Bust up, not busy up!

Winter, is there any way of prioritising one of the debts? To get rid of bit quickly?

I don't think so,

1. 4.5k
2. 4.3k
3. 2.5k
4. £150

They all get £5 each. The last one is argos and thry are soooo unhelpful. they are refusing to drop interest so out of my £5 only about £2.70 comes of the debt

Winter
which one has the highest interest rate ....
give that one £12.50 and the others £2.50 till its gone
then £15.00 and £2.50 till the next one is gone
and so on.
If you have a spreadsheet (download my one for a starter) to show your plan, they should go for it : presumably interest is frozen on the three big ones?

Winter - the Argos one is small and it would give you a psychological boost to get rid of it. First - complain to the FSO about the interest - if they know you are in financial difficulty Argos should have reduced or frozen interest. You could get this all back if you complain which could reduce or even wipe out the debt. See here: www.financial-ombudsman.org.uk/consumer/complaints.htm

While you are waiting for the FSO to act, sell whatever you can to raise the money. Ebay is ok but fees/paypal etc can be a hassle. I try most things on my local Facebook selling page first. Sold our 7 year old Wii in 10 minutes on FB today (after first sending all the games to music magpie) - we only used it to watch netflix (which I cancelled this week and told the kids to "acquire" the password for their Dad's account next time they are there if they want to finish watching breaking bad! Naughty me...) and I got £40.

Ok, you may not have a games console to sell, but I also sold my son's too-small school coat for £4, a bag of novels for £3 and a pair of too small football boots for £5, no fees, paid in cash and collected from the house. Have now made £99 since Saturday :-)

Handbags, ladies and kids clothes, kids toys all sell well. It would be a good boost for you to lose the Argos debt.

My smallest debt is also my highest interest and I hope to get rid in 4 months time. My second smallest is on 0% and so I know I need to leave it alone on just-above minimum payments and tackle a larger debt on my next highest interest.

Why did it take me to the age of 41 and being in debt countless times to finally become money-savvy?!?

Ellie - you know all those Mum's on your play date with their nice houses and nice holidays are all up to their eyes in debt, right?

I used to think I needed the "best" house and the "best" holidays and my kids needed to be dressed from John Lewis and, on a skint month, Next. Funnily enough, my kids cannot remember the fun sunny expensive holidays they had back then, and couldn't care less about what clothes they have on in the photos. Can't remember the expensive kitchen in the house we sold post-divorce. What a waste.

Now it is camping and primark all the way!

I am lucky as I am a teacher and can pick up exam marking (a month of HELL) to pay for a modest summer holiday and we've only gone without one year since I divorced, but they are all camping trips (albeit twice in Europe, but on a shoestring budget), or are static caravan newspaper voucher holidays. This year they have requested a bit of "proper sun" for once and so I am doing 3x the usual amount of exam marking to see if I can manage enough for an October 3* break somewhere on an aeroplane. It will kill me and the kids know when the time comes they need to be cooking, dog walking, cleaning, etc just so I can do the work. Family effort! Yes, that money could go to my debts but I have made the decision that exam marking is summer fun money. It's so awful to do that I couldn't do it otherwise.

BUT, my point is, do not feel inferior. Others are still living in debt and it will crash down at some point. At least you coming out, not getting in deeper.

I agree ishesingle. You never know what is really going on in people's lives. I think people probably used to look at us and think we were quite well off - little did they know it was all borrowed money and now we are paying for it! Our biggest problem was dh starting a business that failed and then retraining to do his current job. We only had my wage coming in for a long time, weren't really prepared for it and dd came along right in the middle.
We are like you. Late 30s and we've finally learnt about money! We only have 1 debt with interest out of 10 creditors so that one is going first. Then we'll do the others in size order starting with the smallest. I think psychologically we need to do it like that so it feels some are getting paid off at least.

Ellie. Abby and isshesingle are right. Not all the time, some people manage to work hard, not get into debt and become well off. Others look like that but aren't.
I can't tell you the number if conversations I've had with friends, all of whom are middle class, professional job types from uni, who are swimming in debt. Three I can think of right now.
Plus, look at this thread! Bet some of us don't look like were hoiked up in debt!

Well it's the next stage of visiting family for us today - dh's mum and sister this time! It will cost a lot in diesel as it's a 2 hour drive but she is cooking us a meal and we will just stay at their house so that will be no spending. We're then calling in at some lovely friends on the way home who we haven't seen for a while so that will be nice.
Tomorrow we are having an 'eat from the freezer' day. I need to clear it out before hte big shop.