Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Money matters

Find financial and money-saving discussions including debt and pension chat on our Money forum. If you're looking for ways to make your money to go further, sign up to our Moneysaver emails here.

advice needed

84 replies

mumof01 · 01/01/2014 19:46

hi first post on here
so sick of having no money i work and still i have nothing after rent .bills,debts and things son needs i never have enough left to last until payday .so sick of it
atm i have no food in the house well i have afew bits for my son feel so bad because xmas was a wash out couldnt afford much still had fun but feel bad now im worried i only get paid on the 10th and ive no bread,milk and things like that need more toiletries im in a mess and dont no where to turn has any one anyideas .i want to avoid going to social services bad experience wth them when i was younger :( .i no theres food banks but ive been told there for unemployed people plus i feel embarrased seems mad as im posting on here but id feel embarrassed saying this face to face
i have asked freinds for help but everyones the same because of xmas im worried about food and things feel like everythings closing in .
ive just been disgnosed with depression so dont think thats helping but dont no what to do anymore i try to budget it doesnt help .how does everyone else manage xx

OP posts:
mumof01 · 03/01/2014 14:15

im limited as i only have£3 of iceland vouchers
i was thinking them as last resort just to be sure i had enough for my son

ive been through the freezer i have
6 fish fingers
3 beef burgers
2 portions of hotpot which i froze
1 chicken breast
1 box of vegetable fingers

i have half a bag of potatoes
apples and bananas

cupboard wise i have beans and tins of peas and carrotts

so was thinking the oven chips and 2 ready meals to add to that to be sure i had enough

OP posts:
SandyDilbert · 03/01/2014 14:19

I would go for baked potatoes and beans - chicken breast cook with some potatoes and veg for a stew or little roast dinner? Or make a big pan of soup/stew pad out with pasta/rice/lentils.

I would probably buy eggs/cheese and maybe some lentils and just get creative with the cooking.

mumof01 · 03/01/2014 14:30

yes was thinking the baked potatoes etc
will see what i can get when i go
i have tried asking my freinds but januarys atough month but ill get through it not long now and i get paidstep change have been on the phone and been really helpfull aswelll so hopefully thingswill be sorted and the cab are helping
xx

OP posts:
mumof01 · 03/01/2014 17:26

hi ive been i got eggs ,cheese,i got some pasta aswell ive got some salad cream in fridge so was thinking i could make a big cheese pasta dish with salad cream and onion with cheese ive got 1 small onion so that should be enough xx

OP posts:
mumof01 · 03/01/2014 22:20

hi just a quick update i forgot to say before i spoke to step change theyve gave me a reference number to give to my creditors to keep them of my back whilst i get involved with them so think im going to let step change do it not cab hopefully im doing the right thing

OP posts:
SandyDilbert · 03/01/2014 22:43

they are free aren't they? - you must not pay for debt advice/resolution.

Whatnamenext · 03/01/2014 22:52

Step change are free I think. Martin Lewis recommends them.

Please don't try and consolidate loans. It never ends well

Apparently Sikh temples often offer free hot meals, no questions asked.

SandyDilbert · 03/01/2014 23:01

that's good they are free.

RandomMess · 03/01/2014 23:11

Well done for tackling all of these issues whilst struggling with depression, give yourself credit for what you are achieving.

mumof01 · 04/01/2014 00:04

yes step change is free there lovely aswell to talk to felt like a load had been lifted they said if any debtors contact me in the meantime to qoute the ref number and not enter into conversation with them as they will only try and frighten me in to paying
Thankyou todays been a better day still feel a failure its the little things like son asked for an ice cream today and i had to say no again one thing though all this has made me realise moneys not everything i have my son and thankfully i have a home .im going to steer away from loans not sure id get one anyway my credit files a mess .
just have to power through to the 10th now
i want to thank every one for there support on here its really helped me to not feel all alone so thanks

OP posts:
SoonToBeSix · 04/01/2014 00:21

Have sent you a pm.

mumof01 · 04/01/2014 11:20

hi ive replied soon to be six

well not a nice day today i hope its ok im still posting but its just a way to let it out for me at the moment
feel so down its untrue not slept all night im glad ihave enough food for son but he asked for sweets etc yesterday and i keep thinking about it i have to say no all the time .so stressfull

on the bright side had a letter saying im entitled to hb so maybe my phone call spurred them on it says i will get £102 pounds per month help so that brings my rent down a lot but ctax benefit i only get 1.62 lol but it all helps it kicks in on the 16th too there backpaying four weeks aswell im not in arrears with my rent so unsure wether i get this or the landlord

sick of feeling like a failure my lifes a mess cant wait to get back to work and have something to focus on .

feel like i cant face anyone or anything today but i guess i will have good and bad days with depression .

x

OP posts:
HelloBoys · 04/01/2014 19:45

Hi

Saw this earlier but was really busy - will send out your stuff on Monday now. Smile

I hope you feel a bit better soon, never easy to cope with this sort of problem on top of depression.

So you only have 12 days presumable until your HB is paid (well done on that) and when do you get the back payment? then? I'd say it depends I have no idea. Maybe you could overpay next month's rent or depending on landlord keep it if you can do this.

as you get paid on 10th you should be in a better place then re money and also back to work soon.

are you on meds for your depression?

take care x

mumof01 · 04/01/2014 20:33

hi no worries ive kept myself busy today decluttering this house feel better .

yes housing benefit and back pay are being paid the same days its being paid direct to me i rang them today it will be going into my bank then i pay my landlord its a housing association house that i rent so i will get the back pay in my bank aswell but im not in arrears so i guess the back pay is mine so to speak

yes cant wait for the 1oth not long now will be in a much better possition things are slowly getting there i dont no why i waited this long to get help guess it was the embarassment maybe

im not on tablets at the minute the doctor did offer me some but i was worried about becoming addicted to them ive heard you can but im back there next week so think maybe a mild anti depressant will help me alot .so going to speak to the doctor about it

x

OP posts:
Mumoftwoyoungkids · 05/01/2014 00:19

While at the doctors please ask for a referral to a food bank. They will give you 3+ days worth of food. If you are hungry you will get more depressed and you need to be well for your lad.

Please do this.

It has been predicted that up to 1 million people will use a food bank this year. It is not a rare thing.

AtlanticaBlue · 05/01/2014 00:50

Just wanted to say how well you're doing tackling all this head on given your depression and difficult circumstances.

One bit of advice from me would be when you are dealing with Stepchange, they will (or may already have done this with you) get you to complete an income and expenditure form, so they can see what you have left each month, from which they will then work out how much each creditor is entitled to.

When you do this, don't underestimate your outgoings, be realistic. Bear in mind emergencies that can arise, things like birthdays and Christmas (even if they are small amounts), haircuts, if your son outgrows his shoes or rips his trousers, prescription charges here and there, etc. You absolutely need to make sure your budget is one you can live on reasonably comfortably so you don't have sleepless nights! The trick with being in debt and being able to pay it off without needing to borrow more is having a cushion, however small, for the unexpected things life throws at you.

Of course we should all be responsible and pay our debts back but you need to look out for you and your son first and foremost, before your creditors. They can wait if they have to, in my opinion. It's better to have a trashed credit file then a mountain of stress and going without basics in an attempt to keep up.

Good luck with it all.

mumof01 · 05/01/2014 12:41

I am thinking about going to the food bank i really am .ive got enough food for my son in now .i think with it being only a few days to go ill be ok im going to try and borrow some money in the mean time so i can eat a little i dont think i can face going

thanks atlanticablue i dont feel like im doing well so its nice of you to say that .yes ive done a income and expenditure over the fone but there sending me a form for a more indepth one i think .
xx

OP posts:
mumof01 · 05/01/2014 13:21

sons back at school tue .just realised hes got a party the day after worried sick ive no present or card to give to the child with everything going on ive not got anything arghhh
anyone got any ideas i cant send him empty handed im so thick at times always forgetting something just been worse lately with dealing with al this :/ nightmare x

OP posts:
RandomMess · 05/01/2014 14:34

Perhaps you could be honest with your DS and the b'day mum and tell them you'd completely forgotten about it and won't have the chance to go shopping until the weekend - by which time you'll have the money to buy a little something?

I always buy very cheap birthday cards because they really are a waste of money when affording buying a gift is difficult.

mumof01 · 05/01/2014 14:42

i used to have lots of birthday cards from card factory u no the ten for a pound type problem is i only have girls ones left think i must have got a handfull of each .will buy more when i get paid so i have them in .

x

OP posts:
mumof01 · 05/01/2014 14:45

Think i will have to be honest and say i forget and tbh i would have had me and ds not got his book bag out to do some more reading this afternoon .i just felt bad and its another way id let ds down i no thats stupid to think that way but cant help it x

OP posts:
RandomMess · 05/01/2014 15:14

But you know nearly every parent has done this at least once!!! I certainly have, you have remembered, ds will go to the party, birthday child will get a gift - no big deal in the grand scheme of things Grin

mumof01 · 05/01/2014 16:15

i no i just feel bad wont be able to get a gift but im going to do my best to get a card some how x

OP posts:
FannyFifer · 05/01/2014 16:29

Get your son to make a card for his friend. No one will even notice that you don't have a present.

mumof01 · 05/01/2014 16:52

yes i could do that thanks .i no its just me being silly
roll on the 10th is all i can say this month has been hell but looks like it will get better thankfully xx

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread