Pressing charges for rape, pt 2

[JustThinking]

For some reason I can't add to the original..

Well I've just had some more news (not literally right this second, but yesterday).

The pc in charge has thoroughly checked this out and, because i'm over 16 and because it happened in another country, it has to go to trial there (i.e. not here). Pc guy was going to tell them today to, basically, come over here and arrest him and not to pass it on to them as they can't actually do anything.

Things seem to be going from bad to worse, the flashbacks are back too, despite over a month 'break' (I was still getting nightmares).

I really don't know what to do. Part of me really wants him to pay for what he did to me and to stop it happening to someone else, but, and it is a big but, I don't think I can do it. To have to see him is one thing, to have to talk about it is yet another, but to have to go back to where it happened is another situation all together. I'm holding on to the fact he might plead guilty given the evidence against him but let's face it, what kind of bloke would do that??

Help!

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Under local law if he pleads innocent there will have to be a "confrontation" - you and him in a room with a presiding judge, your respective lawyers and a couple of policemen. The judge will ask both of you questions and you both have to answer. The judge will then decide whether it goes forward to the procurer and to a court of law.

As I said before, you really really need a local (or billingual with good working knowledge of the local law) lawyer to help you make decisions. Have you still got that list?

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anniversaries are always shit, it's understandable that you feel crap around this time. hopefully you will feel better soon.

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It is quite normal that it has taken months - most cases like this in the country come to trial roughly 2 - 3 years after the event.

I am surprised that there has not been a confrontation yet though.

Get specialised (ie local) legal advice.

If you are having flashbacks, are you seeking a counsellor or psychiatrist?

Wishing you strength.

seeing, not seeking!

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Oh sweetie

What do your instincts tell you to do?

Perhaps you could pursue a civil case?

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THen, Can you speak to the CAB, or get some legal advice wrt how you can pursue this?

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Actually a civil case doesn't sound like a bad idea. He wouldn't get a criminal conviction but the burden of proof is less.

I'm pleased you have decided to keep going. (though, obviously, if you chose not to that would be entirely understandable).

I read this thread today for the first time and am so angry and sad that you have had to endure this, both the incicent and the last 2+ years of dealing with the fall-out and trying to reach a conclusion.

I can only imagine how much strength it must be taking to choose to continue with this considering how much pain it has brought.

I will keep an eye out for any updates (fingers crossed for you that they are sooner rather than later)

Wishing you all the best.

Hello you. I'm so sorry you've been unable to reach closure with this.

If you do pursue it any more, is it going to cost megabucks? And what are your chances of taking it all that way?

I mean all the way.

Talk to a solicitor about the possibility of a civil case for damages against him in this country.