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I am bad with money. It's the only answer. Is it possible to get better/learn?

40 replies

Badvoc · 05/08/2012 14:51

I am a sahm.
Dh earns a Decent wage - not huge but decent.
And yet.
We owe £5 k on a cc (0% interst one but still....) from costs incurred when we moved into our new home last dec(new boiler, roof repairs....you get the idea :()
I am £3-400 overdrawn each month (got an agreed overdraft facility) and its depressing me.
We don't save. No money to. We aren't paying much off the cc.
Just when I think things are getting better it goes wrong again....HMRC have messed up Dhs tax code (he isn't the only one at his place of work, there are 6 of them) and so he has been £200 a month short since march and we have no idea when we will get it back.
I just don't know what to do.
He won't let me sell the car (he says it's an asset) and so that is costing £100 a month to keep on the road.
We have got all the cheapest insurances etc. we do have cable but it's a good deal with phone and BB too and it's our only luxury tbh.
We don't really drink, smoke, or go out much.
We do spend a lot on food but that's due to several things...allergies, fussy kids and trying to eat healthily.
At the beginning of this year I knew this year would be a write off financially...but I am getting worried and whenever I try and talk to him he takes it as a criticism - which it really isn't.
I would like to go back to work at some point and am looking into re training ATM.
What can we do? What is the best thing to do?
Pay off cc? Start saving? Ask mortgage company for a payment holiday? I don't even know of HSBC do that....? 6 months off paying e mortgage would be a huge help.
Have any of you done that? Is it easy? We are on a FR so not even sure it's possible?
Any tips gratefully received...

OP posts:
CogitoErgOlympics · 05/08/2012 17:12

It is possible because a) it's not difficult and b) you're motivated.

My first suggestion would be to get your income and expenditure together in a format that's easy for you to work with. A spreadsheet, spending diary or - what I do - download MS Money and fill in all your transactions for several weeks. And that's everything including cash withdrawals, credit card transactions, Direct Debits, standing orders. Really understand where the money is coming from and where it's going to as your first step... even if it's painful.

Next I would look at all your regular outgoings, be brutal and decide if the item is necessary or a luxury. If it's a luxury, get rid of it. (Cars only depreciate and cost money to insure and maintain... if you can manage without, it's a luxury you can't afford) If it's a necessary expense, see if you can bring it down. Comparison sites are good for utility bills, insurance, broadband etc. If you can save £5/month here and £10/month there it quickly adds up.

A smaller budget for irregular outgoings like groceries, petrol, outings etc., is going to be on the cards. Again, £5 here and £10 there frees up spare cash. Takes effort and planning but that's what it takes.

Next step is to look at your debts and see what you can do to get them down. Overdrafts and CC's tend to cost the most % interest, followed by loans and then probably mortgage. If you have any spare money, use it to pay off the loan that is costing the biggest % as priority whilst keeping the others ticking over. If you can borrow the same money more cheaply (like your 0% card) consider that.

If you go through your income and outgoings in detail, budget closely and, despite all your efforts, the income simply doesn't stretch far enough then do talk to one of the free debt advisory services i.e. CCCS, CAB or National Debtline.

Good luck

Lolcbcb · 05/08/2012 17:15

You need to start by paying off your most expensive debt ( the one with highest apr)- I suspect it will be your overdraft even if agreed. Can your bank give you a loan for the same amount? The advantage is a clear repayment structure. If u do get one, make sure u cancel your o/d limit otherwise you might get tempted to use it again.
Then look at credit card, and if it is at nought percent, just pay the minimum whole u clear the o/d. But start searching for another one so as you can transfer your balance when the free period ends.
Last thing to do is write down everything you spend (I mean every little thing) for ideally a month but if that's too much at least 2 weeks. That will show you where u can cut back.
Things like snacks for kids, lunch at work, coffee etc cost a lot and doing these at home will always be cheaper.
In my opinion no point start saving until u clear off debts.
Hope that helps x

northeastofeden · 05/08/2012 20:54

it is possible.

also a car is not an asset, an asset is something that gives you an income.

Read merryn somerset-webbs book love is not enough, a smart girls guide to money. Its the only financial book I have ever found readable and having put the advice into practice my finances have gone from a total shambles to very respectable.

Badvoc · 05/08/2012 21:01

Was hoping you would be along cog :)
Thanks for the replies.
I will download that software.
Dh will not countinence getting rid of the car. We agreed we reevaluate at xmas but he wont. I know he won't.
Cc debt is 0% til dec next year so we have some time yet to pay that off.
I will look at that book too, thank you.
Bank won't give a loan as I don't have a job.
But I could borrow some on the 0% cc to clear the overdraft? Then I won't get charged interst at all?
I agree I really want to get rid of the overdraft. It should be the first thing really...

OP posts:
tribpot · 05/08/2012 21:02

A car is definitely not an asset - if your DH thinks so I'd suggest you both may have a bit of an issue with money, not just you.

I highly recommend looking at the You Need a Budget website. There's loads of material to give you a great idea of the method without you having to shell out for the software; you can do a 34 day trial but see whether the material 'speaks' to you first.

Have a look as well at the Debt Free Wannabe board at Money Saving Expert, and Dealing With Debt at The Motley Fool. You've had some good advice here and you'll find some great advice there too. Please, whatever you do, don't leap at the idea of consolidating your debt to make it 'manageable', you could end up spiralling again with a bigger debt behind you.

Sounds like you need to think as well about healthy eating on a budget - some vegetarian nights will help massively with the costs.

tribpot · 05/08/2012 21:05

Bank won't give a loan as I don't have a job.

Sorry - does this mean it's your personal overdraft that you're using, rather than a joint debt? Why are you going overdrawn if your DH is the earner? Likewise, can't he take out a loan if that's what you decide to do?

Dh will not countinence getting rid of the car.

But you're going into debt to keep it on the road?

Badvoc · 05/08/2012 21:12

Yes we have separate accounts...always have. But of course I worked when we first got married.
The mortgage is joint and we do have a joint savings account (with £30 in)
I know we have had some horrendous luck with the house/move but still....
I get cb paid into my account and an amount from dh every month but atm it's only paying off my overdraft with not much left over for the rest of the month...hence the overdraft.
Not helped by an emergency dental bill last week either :(
theoretically the money HMRC owe us could pay off my overdraft but god knows when that will be forthcoming....

OP posts:
TrollofTrollHall · 05/08/2012 21:12

I wouldn't rush to get rid of the car. Public transport isn't cheap, and it might not be as much of a saving as you think. Plus, it is a huge benefit to a family to have a car, life just becomes so much harder without it.

Your debts are not huge, and you will be better able to find work as your children get older. Lots of people are skint in the early years on one income, but things change further down the line.

Badvoc · 05/08/2012 21:13

....oh and also not helped by dh talking to his dad about things like getting rid of the car...apparently we shouldn't expect to have savings at our age and with 2 young children.
(he was an accountant btw!)

OP posts:
Badvoc · 05/08/2012 21:15

Troll..yes. I do see Dhs pov re the car but I am getting increasingly worried about the money situation.
I know there are many people worse off....

OP posts:
hermioneweasley · 05/08/2012 21:20

Can you work in evenings when he gets home? If you do a few hours every night you'll be bringing in £100/week which will be tax free as it's within your personal allowance. Overdraft paid off in a month, cc within a year and then you can start saving.

tribpot · 05/08/2012 21:26

What does your DH do with the money he doesn't give you each month? I assume most of the bills are coming out of his account? Even so, I'd be concerned if my DH was perpetually in overdraft (in our case he actually couldn't be as his own account doesn't have one) - the charges and interest payments are a waste of money if he can clear that and start afresh.

Badvoc · 05/08/2012 21:26

I have been looking for a job for about 8 months now...applied for about a dozen...no replies.
I do voluntary work which I didn't want to have to stop (church based)
Also dh sometimes works away, with little notice at times :( the worst one was 2 days notice for a 9 day trip to the far east!!
He has had 2 week long trips this year and 3 shorter ones.
Child care would be pretty much impossible at those times.

OP posts:
Badvoc · 05/08/2012 21:29

It all goes on bills etc ATM
My fil lives on his overdraft but they own their home. Have savings and shares etc.
he retired early at 58.
Dh seems to think its ok to live off our overdrafts too but I don't agree.

OP posts:
RandomMess · 05/08/2012 21:33

Actually I think your dh is the one that is bad with money.

Does he know you are permanantly using your overdraft? It is crazy not to get rid of that debt asap.

Badvoc · 05/08/2012 21:34

Other than the mortgage, the cc and the overdrafts we have no other debt...no store cards, HP etc.
From next month we have to cut back...just have to.

OP posts:
Badvoc · 05/08/2012 21:35

But how random?
Borrow money in a 0% cc?
I guess that would at least be an even playing field...
Theoretically we "should" have £4-500 per month after bills, food etc.
Where the hell is it???!....

OP posts:
joanofarchitrave · 05/08/2012 21:42

I think your top priority has to be hassling HMRC to find out when the tax code will be sorted. Does your DH have to talk to his payroll? has he done this?

Could you use your car somehow? Commonwheels Car Club, or the one that is local to me, advertises to take on cars and pays the costs, while you get a certain number of 'free' travel hours. Depends how much you actually use it.

Or what about minicabbing one evening a week, would you consider that [have never done this myself]?

If you give your time to your church, use the network - tell your minister/priest and other church leaders about your money worries and need for work, and see if they can come up with anything? Ministers have fingers in a LOT of pies and could easily come across work opportunities they could pass on to you, and they already know you are committed and reliable Smile

Badvoc · 05/08/2012 21:45

Oh and would you consider ctf accounts for the children as a necessity?
Dc both have them and I put £60 per month into them (ironically ds1 has about £5k now....)
I have a good deal on my mobile.
I have the cheapest car ins and breakdown cover.
I put as little fuel in as I can.
I also have a life ins policy I pay into til ds2 is 18.

OP posts:
Badvoc · 05/08/2012 21:47

Joan...I may mention I am looking for work to the rev. Who knows? It could lead to something.
I am not scared of hard graft...I have run small b&bs (when I was 15) I have done care work (can't now due to herniated disc) and waitressing/bar work but there are no jobs like that locally ATM..in fact all the pubs seem to be closing!
I live in a village which doesn't help matters....

OP posts:
joanofarchitrave · 05/08/2012 21:53

Savings for children are an excellent idea but I would take a holiday from paying into them long before I would take one from the mortgage. £60 a month is quite a good bite out of your overdraft. Important to reduce the agreed overdraft by that amount as soon as you stop the payment.

RandomMess · 05/08/2012 21:54

Stof the ctf payments, that is ridiculous at the moment.

YOur dh is being bad with money because he won't get rid of a care that you can't afford.

Have you been through all your expenditure and income together as a couple?

£60 per month ctf could get rid of your overdraft in 6-8 months. Everytime you transfer your 0% cc you get charged for it so you need to be trying to pay off more than the minimum if you can once the overdraft is cleared.

Badvoc · 05/08/2012 21:59

No random but we will. We have to.
It's so hard to talk to dh about money - he sees it as a criticism which it isn't. He works hard and he seems to think I am having a go. I'm not, honestly. I am rubbish with money too since we had kids.

OP posts:
LustingAfterMrGrey · 05/08/2012 22:23

Sainsburys are doing really cheap loans at the moment, and will beat any other. Maybe apply for 5500 to clear your o/d and cc, it would be about £112 for 5 years though, but better to consolidate. Oh and cut up your cc's if you do that.

joanofarchitrave · 05/08/2012 22:24

What can you cut from your food bill? Try a post on the allergies board here?

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