What exactly does "buying your OH out of the house" involve?

[bjf1]

If your family home is valued at £210,000, you bought it for £180,000 with a deposit of £70,000, and have £90,000 left to pay on the mortgage, how much do you give to OH on separation?
Am trying to understand if I can afford to do this, but confused.
Do I take on the £90,000 mortgage payments and he gets nothing, but has no mortgage payments to find?
Do I have to take on the £90,000 and pay him a lump sum to compensate for the difference between £90,000 and £180,000 (original price) or
Do I take on the £90,000 mortgage payments, and pay him a lump sum to compensate for the difference between £90,000 and £210,000 (value now)?

Or is it none of the above and we have to sell and each take a lump sum from the sale?

However, if I do have to hand over a lump sum to DH then I can't possibly do it. THAT is what I wanted to find out about on this thread.

Unless you can earn more than £300 a month after tax it's not worth you working.

I don't think you need to give your dh a lump sum

but I do think you should get professional advice as well as mumsnet advice

hope it all works out well for you and the kids

bjf - sorry, I wasn't clear about not relying on benefits - what I meant is that if you are doing calculations about whether or not you can afford the mortgage on your own - factoring in the benefits you would get now and your ExH's maintenance payments may not be the best idea.

My DPs ex bought him out when they split; she could afford the mortgage partly on the basis on CSA maintenance and tax credits. She's lost some tax credits in the change next month and DP was made redundant before Christmas so his maintenance payments have dropped to £5 a week from nearly £100 - now his ex is struggling to make ends meet!

The Universal benefit comes in later this year - and no-one really knows what it will look like but you might find yourself worse off with big mortgage payments to find - and if your ex stops working/pays less as well, then you'll be in a bit of a pickle!

i genuinely would be surprised if you didn't have to give your husband a lump sum? Going off whats happened in friends divorces I would have expected that you either buy him out for the 60k or you will be forced to sell. He also brought a lot of cash into the home and paid over the years so even if you can get away with it legally surely morally you couldnt leave him unable to buy a home too?

I would have thought selling and re buying would have been the fairest option if possible.

However if you buy him out will the mortgage company will let you keep the house based on lower income? it may complicate it if his name has to stay on the paperwork.

Earlier you said that your husband has his own business - don't be surprised if his "declared" income changes so that the amount of maintenance he gives you is the lowest he can get away with. Every person i know who is self employed does this to get round high maintenance payments. Plus the amount he gives you will change if he remarries or had other kids of his own so you really cant rely on that.

Heswall, so unless I can earn £300 before tax (no hope) I can't take on the mortgage?
But I can't leave as I have nowhere else to go, that's why I considered the option of staying. And if I did leave, surely I'd just be living on benefits somewhere else anyway? I mean, the mortgage payments on this property are roughly the same as rental properties in this area, for a much smaller property.
If I can't afford £500 per month mortgage payments, then neither can I afford £500 per month rent.
Seems I am in a catch 22.

go and see citizen advice ?

you will have to go to mediation for the financial part of divoive

but as as you DH i liar when it come to money anyways dont think about him when working out what you can do as he will always be aright you wont
dont worry about not asking for child manternice as you more than likey wont get it off him aways

you may well have to give the house start getting your head round this .

bjf like others have said, your divorce settlement can include staying in the house while the DCs are minors - and splitting the equity with your ex when they are older.

If you're not working I really can't see how you'll be able to take on the existing mortgage in your sole name even assuming that you don't have to borrow more to buy your ex out.

You may be able to negotiate a longer payment term in joint names; which you pay - but he would still 'own' a proportion of the house.

What is his view? Would he want the DCs to stay in the family home or sell up?

His view is that it is his house, his pension plan and he will not leave. Unfortunately, when marriages break down someone has to leave and I am just trying to look at all feasible options.
And of course I won't be able to pay for the mortgage if I am not working, but am planning to return to work to resolve this issue.

Ah, so he does have a pension ?

I offset my proportion of ExH pension again at his share of the equity in the house and bought him out with no money changing hands - this may well be the route your solicitor recommends and you do need one - ASAP - don't think you can do this without, as decisions you make now could have a significant impact on your future

Or do you mean that the house is his pension plan?

If you leave, he'll still have to 'buy you out' and you'll have a bit of capital to help you start again - you are right; one person has to leave the family home, but that doesn't mean it has to belong to the person who is living there.