What exactly does "buying your OH out of the house" involve?

[bjf1]

If your family home is valued at £210,000, you bought it for £180,000 with a deposit of £70,000, and have £90,000 left to pay on the mortgage, how much do you give to OH on separation?
Am trying to understand if I can afford to do this, but confused.
Do I take on the £90,000 mortgage payments and he gets nothing, but has no mortgage payments to find?
Do I have to take on the £90,000 and pay him a lump sum to compensate for the difference between £90,000 and £180,000 (original price) or
Do I take on the £90,000 mortgage payments, and pay him a lump sum to compensate for the difference between £90,000 and £210,000 (value now)?

Or is it none of the above and we have to sell and each take a lump sum from the sale?

Surely if he just surrenders the house over to me then I continue to pay the remaining mortgage AND ask for no child maintenance in the future that would be fair, no?

In that case your DH might agree to split the mortgage with you 50/50 on the basis that you split the profits when your youngest is 18, I know people who have done this.
Child support is still a separate matter though I would suggest

Oh, I see, I sort of rent the house then sell when the DCs are 18 and split the proceeds 50/50.

Don't surrender the child support. I agreed to a very low CS figure and then 10 years later the bugger had increased his earnings 10 fold and I couldn't get it increased.

If you stayed married and sold the house you would together get £120K profit from the sale (£210K minus the £90K mortgage). If you "buy him out" you split that profit 50/50 at the point of divorce settlement - you pay him £60K, and the house (and the remaining mortgage) are all yours.

Maintenance is a whole different issue, as is whether or not you take part of his pension.

"Surely if he just surrenders the house over to me then I continue to pay the remaining mortgage AND ask for no child maintenance in the future that would be fair, no?"

Depends on how many children you have together and how old they are. Say you have a 3 year old and a 9 year old -- that's 15 + 9 = 24 years' worth of child years (before the age of 18) for which you would expect maintenance. £60,000 divided by 24 is only £2,500 per child per year. Does that sound like enough to you?

I don't think you can surrender the child maintenance, not officially. You can surrender spousal maintenance in favour of getting a bigger share of the 'pot' (the equity in the house). Have you been a SAHM or working much less than your stbxh so as to look after the kids?

If you do agree to live in the house with your h still owning a share, he wouldn't necessarily own 50%. Whether this is a good option depends on how old the dcs are and what the other options for refinancing are.

Could you afford to pay the mortgage alone?

OP I made a deal with ex that I keep the house and equity and he pays no maintenance. However it is all still in joint names with the bank as getting a new mortgage on a lower income could be difficult (although the mortgage is paid completely up to date every month.) So i still have moments of fear that he will try to screw me over one day, and he has made me worry that one day he will demand his share and try to pretend he has paid maintenance.
So I would say that if you do decide to do keep the house in lieu of maintenance make it completely official, or it could prove stressful like it is for me! The money he saves in maintenance can go towards a pension or new property for him.
Good luck!

MizK, that's what I was thinking, that the money he saves on paying maintenance would go towards him buying somewhere else to live. Obviously would need to get something legal down on paper.
Don, we have 3 DCs aged, 10, 5 and 4.
little, I am currently a SAHM, but would try to get work obviously to pay the mortgage. Have been looking at repayments, and think I can afford them on the employment opps I have been looking into. I have been through all our outgoings and, with cutting back on unneccessary "essentials" such as SKY and the car, I think it's feasible.

As a SAHM you will certainly get more than 50% of the equity. My divorce has not gone through yet but my solicitor expects I will get around 80% as I have been a SAHM, have 3 dcs and my employment prospects are now rubbish.

See a solicitor ASAP - it will reassure you. look for one who is a member of Resolution - they are trained to amicably negotiate fair settlements so both parties can move on with their lives, that's the idea anyway.

I've just got a part-time job, it has been very difficult to find anything. I got this job as I was lucky enough to be the first to apply without a criminal record!

Is your 4yo at school?

The best way is therefore trying to see if he will agree to wait for his share of the equity until the children are older. BUT you will probably have to pay the mortgage yourself as he will need to live somewhere. Can you afford this? Can you rent a room? Can you work?

Agree that mediation could be good way forward.

You might not get more than 50% outright. You might still have to buy him out when children are older. You probably do need to see a solicitor.

The 4 year old starts school this september.
I have put together a figure of our essential outgoings, and have calculated child maintenance payments , about £86.00, based on DH's income.
Apparently, along with tax credits and my forecast income of about £130, I can just about afford to stay in the family home. However, that means giving up the car as it belongs to DH and I can't see him handing it over.
Al in all, I can afford to stay here, pay the mortgage until the DCs turn 18, if DH agrees to move out, pay maintenance, and not ask for a lump sum payout.
It can't be that easy, surely? What am I missing, what's the catch?

Find out the maximum amount of mo0rtgage you can get & then offer anything over 90,000 to ex in order for you to have the house in your sole name, If you can't do that then it will have to be sorted when youngest child is 18 BUT if your ex is a low earner & needs some capital to fund his accomodation then you may still have to sell. It all depends.

I hate to sound suspicious.....but a few days ago the OP had a thread about how she gave tax credits the completely wrong income figures and now they are claiming their money back

It all seems a little off that now, out of nowhere, they are splitting up, so whatcha know, she is entitled to all the tax credits again....

And of course the job centre will pay the mortgage interest for ever if you go onto income support as a result of being a lone parent, forgot about that little nugget.

Remains yes that was my thread about the tax credits, also my thread about how to resign from DH's ltd company.
I have been unhappy with DH's attitude towards me for quite a while now, and this was the last straw. It turns out, after a visit to the accountant, that I am supposedly getting paid £4,800 per annum by my DH's company.....but I'm not. He is putting that money, my personal tax allowance through the business in order to pay less tax on HIS earnings. I have not seen a penny of this money.
Unaware of this fact, I did not declare it to the Tax Credit folk, and now I have to pay back money I never had in the 1st place.
I left the accountants in shock, confronted DH, who did have the grace to look sheepish, and have come to the conclusion that I am being used as a commodity in this marriage. THAT is why I have come to the conclusion that separation is my only route.
I am NOT interested in fiddling anyone, (not intentionally anyway) ripping anyone off, (including DH who seems to think it's fine to do that to me), or force the state to look after me.
and I'm very sorry if I have given you that impression

I'd be wary of relying on any sort of benefits long-term; who KNOWS what this government will do next

I think she will still be eligible to repay tax credits even if they split. If you aren't working then I fail to see how you can afford a £90,000+ mortgage - most mortgage companies only allow you to be on interest only for so long. If your dh is as you describe him I wouldn't hold my breath on getting a good divorce settlement either. Hate to be all doom & gloom but forewarned is forearmed

I hate having to rely on tax credits, but without them, there would be no food on the table, literally.
I had to ask DH for some money to buy some milk yesterday morning. He said he didn't carry cash. Thinks he's the bloody Queen.
5 mins later he's moaning because the only thing we have in the cupboard to make sandwiches for his lunch is Jam. I calmly explained that, as I now have NO MONEY the cupboard is bare. Also the DCs are quite happy with Jam sarnies for their lunch, so he'll just have to suck it up.
He left the house claiming he would go to the chip shop for lunch, whereby I asked him how he was going to manage that as he "does not carry cash"!

Will you really be able to pay a £90k mortgage on a low paid part time job and some tax credits and a fairly low level of child maintenance?

If you are married then I would expect your DH to pay about 20% of his monthly income towards his kids (less if they will spend a significant of time at his house) and a further amount of spousal maintenance for you.

If your DH can't afford to live on his own then it will probably be expected that you and the children move to a cheaper house locally that still fulfills your needs if this is possible.

It would be nice for the dc to stay in the same house but it's not always practical or the best solution for all of you.

Sounds like it is unsustainable for you to have 3 kids, mortgage and not work. Agree with poster who said it would be unwise to rely on benefits long term.

remains and heswall wow what snippy little remarks! I don't think the OP is trying to squeeze the benefits system, she is planning to get a job and trying to find a way to keep her home. As her children are going to be unsettled by their parents divorce, I think that if they can keep continuity in the form of staying in their home rather than moving it will make things easier for them. Realistically this isn't always possible but at least she is looking ionto the possibility. There's no need to be unkind.

Snippy ??? I was giving her advice as I remembered last night that is the case, the DWP will pay the interest on the mortgage.

Yes, it is not possible for me to NOT work and pay the mortgage and feed 3DCs, which is why I have been looking into local job vacancies.
I have calculated the wage it pays, how much DH would have to pay in maintenance, based on his earnings, and, if I forgo the car, get rid of the SKY package, and apply for 25% reduced rate council tax, I think I can just about do it.
Will still get CB, which will be a big help, even though it is a benefit, which some here seem to think I am wrong to rely on, but most folk do, dont they? I mean, it's not as though I want to use it for pedicures, manicures, designer handbags, just silly things like food, and school uniforms.