What are the disadvantages of being very wealthy?

[Whirliwig72]

Unless I win the lottery I'm never going to be more than comfortably off but I do like to dream! So please tell me, from your own experiences or those of people close to you are there any real downsides to being seriously minted or does money make everything easier and more fabulous?

The people I know that are very wealthy have mostly earned it rather than inherited it. They've had to make sacrifices along the way such as relationship break-downs and not spending enough time with their family. One very successful company director I know still regrets that he missed the birth of their youngest DC as he was overseas at the time for work. The jobs they do are often extremely high responsibility with matching stress so their health can suffer. But it's not the wealth that's causing the problems... it's their lifestyle.

Yeah I think it would be a huge shock and v difficult to adjust to a sudden gigantic win.

Id give it my best shot though but I can see why sudden wealth could be hard.

StringCheese that's so sad - poor bike not to be liked or valued for just himself only for his cash :(

bloke not biker (snigger!)

Yes Whirl it was. He was really nice and v generous but I the weight of the expectation from his extended family was quite a heavy burden to carry.

Whose the happiest person you know - are they also the richest?

I think it depends on how you became wealthy tbh.

my sister is well off. they have rental properties in the local area,loads of people dont pay as they know they are rich. her dh doesnt chase up the money as he feels guilty he has more cash than than those renting off him. his family automatically assume he will pay for everything to do with ailing parents. the down side is also running a huge house and second home along with numerous cars. ds refuses to have help.

All the stress of campaigning against having your CB cut

Seriously though I have a few friends with a lot of cash and it's mix how they got it - earned, inherited - and their worries are the same as everyone's; one has a Mum with alzheimers- yes he can get someone in to help but she's still dying. Neither of the main 2 have managed to sustain a relationship either and I suspect that's down to working hours.

Sis is very well off, she works long hours but most cash comes from her DH and I know he finds the amount of their only child's first years that he has missed (he gets sent around the world on call with zero notice) very hard, sis can't have another baby so no more chances either iyswim. I'd put up with a lot for some proper cash but not missing the boy's almost entire childhoods.

Happiest person I know is me :) Have enough money to support my modest lifestyle, a few treats and still have some left over. Enjoy making, saving and spending money without succumbing to avarice. Wouldn't be a train-smash if I needed to find a wedge for some emergency or other. None of my friends, wealthy or otherwise, are ostentatious so there's no silly keeping up with the Jones' crap to contend with.

It's that Dickens quote isn't it... Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure nineteen pounds nineteen and six, result happiness. Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure twenty pounds ought and six, result misery."

A friend of mine has become quite wealthy in recent years. I find that her wealth completely disempowers her, as she is able to buy her way out of situations. For example, she won't use public transport, even though she doesn't drive, so her life if lived within the small area her 3 year old will walk to.

She's forgotten how to cook.

She 'had' to have a maternity nurse after having her second baby, and subsequently feels like she doesn't know the child very well.

I'd like to think if I had more money, it would enable me to do more stuff. With her, it almost functions in the opposite way. It's sad really, because she's not fun anymore.

I can't see any practical disadvantage of being wealthy.
Obviously wealth doesn't necessarily bring happiness or shield you from illness, depression, bad relationships etc.

I know lots of well off people, though I don't know any seriously wealthy person. A little gossip: Gianni Agnelli's only son killed himself after a life of depression and substances abuse.

Dont know, but if someone would like to throw me a few million, I'd be happy to find out!

I suppose it depends on if you have always had it/earned it, or if to comes your way suddenly.

People are the main problem...

-family members treating you like a cash machine.

-people expecting you to always pick up the lunch tab, buy hideously expensive present for them then on the one occasion you don't they sulk, are bitching to their friends "i can't believe she only spent £50 on my DD's birthday present, they must be minted. Ok my DD and her DD are not that close but still they can afford it"!?!!!??!

-other women expect you to look groomed the whole time, because rich peoples toddlers somehow don't require as much work, sleep through the night, never get ill or experience teething etc etc. And rich wives never get ill themselves, have fat days, develop piles and veins during pregnancy. No the money somehow prevents all of that nastiness from happening in the first place (though it can attempt to fix it).

-your husband MUST have another woman on the side, after all cheating is what all rich men do, no?

-other women, even your friends, will try to flirt with your husband. A rich man is a successful man, and women are programmed to be attracted to them.

Whimsical I agree on the disempowerment risk. i have a wealthy SAHM friend with two boys in f/t school plus nanny. One of our recent conversations was about how she stressed she was cos she couldn't explain to her new cleaner how to clean the bath properly as her (the cleaner's) English wasn't so good. I was like 'roll up your sleeves and show her' ffs ;)!

That's not disempowerment brought about by wealth.... that's called 'no commonsense'.

Cogito - well said! Plus love your Dickens quote. That's certainly a good model to live to.

Ruby, that's so true. I feel very fortunate most of the time because we are comfortable, and have friends who are, mostly, similar. A bit more, a bit less, but mostly not struggling. However, my brother is surrounded by the very wealthy, and despite doing pretty well himself, only sees the richer people around him. Which makes him feel miserable.

I wonder to a point if everyone above a certain level of comfortably well off has the same sort of life experience just with bigger and 'better' stuff the richer they get i.e. tranche one: Sony stereo, tranche two: Bose, tranche three: Yamaha. All systems essentially do the same thing just sound quality gets undetectably marginally better the higher up the scale you go.

I expect rich people still feel the pinch/worry about money because they get used to living a certain way and have to maintain/extend it. What seems luxurious and a treat to us becomes common place and ordinary to them so they have to spend more and more to feel like something's really special.

One of my exes did some maths tutoring for the son of a famous rich person. He got taken on holiday by them and all sorts. I thought at the time that I felt rather sorry for this boy, having to have his maths tutor come on holiday with him

Some members of my family are pretty rich (self-made) and there aren't any real disadvantages - they grumble a bit about the time they spend managing their money but it appears to me to be less than the time you have to spend if you are on the breadline working out how to make your money stretch as far as it needs to. But honestly the thing that makes them happy is not their money, it's their health and the fact that they have a good marriage and strong relationships with family.
Re the exact words in the OP, I think money does make many things easier but it does not make it more fabulous.

Pagwatch, what a shallow woman she was. I'm still in the crappy semi well to that sort it would appear to be. I know its a bit of a generalisation but I think people born into money are ok and not snobby, can talk to Kings and paupers. Those new to money tend to be the snobs, think they're better and alot forget where they come from. So I'll stay as I am ta. (Don't want to offend anyone as just what my experience).

The disempowerment thing is true - it costs a lot of money to be rich.

There is a whole expensive paraphenalia of accountants, lawyers, drivers, cleaners, housekeepers, bodyguards and so on that rich people have to have.

I know that sounds odd but a lot of the the spending that rich people do is not actually discretionary. It is the cost of being rich.