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Can I ask for views about finances?

46 replies

visitingdad · 16/01/2006 10:26

Hello, I'm just visiting the site and I wondered if I could ask you for your views.

I work full-time and my DP looks after the kids. We don't have a joint account (her choice) but I give her about £1200-1400 pcm.

Out of this she pays for virtually all the food shopping, some children's clothes (although I buy the majority) and her own clothes etc. I pay the mortgage and most of the bills.

Does that sound about right to you?

Thanks in advance!

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 16/01/2006 10:28

Dude, that's what a lot of us bring home in a month to pay for everything, mortgage, bills, etc.

I'd say that's more than enough!

I can only dream about having that amount of money to spend on food shopping and clothes (for both me and my daughters).

cathyspam · 16/01/2006 10:28

completely depends on lifestyle - my husband only earns what you give your wife so a bit different for us.

cathyspam · 16/01/2006 10:29

expat ditto! I am in Scotland too!

cori · 16/01/2006 10:29

This sounds familiar .
Sounds very generous in my opinion

CountessDracula · 16/01/2006 10:30

How many children do you have?

CountessDracula · 16/01/2006 10:31

are you by any chance Carla's dh?

Prufrock · 16/01/2006 10:31

Very difficult to answer without knowing what you earn. If you take home £25k it's extremely generous. If you take home £200k and both have a lot of money to spend on yourself it's not.

IMO (as a SAHM) I consider that any money left oevr after bills have been paid and joint savings have been saved should be split 50:50. The work she is doing should be valued equally to what you are doing - you wouldn't be able to earn that money if she wasn't at home looking after your children

thewomanwhothoughtshewasahat · 16/01/2006 10:31

how do you mean "right"? personally I prefer the team approach when one is earning and one doing the unpaid stuff looking after the kids. both are putting in equal effort. to my mind I'd prefer (and have) one joint account out of which comes everything - mortgage, food shopping, kids clothes and - in our case - personal spending, but if your dp - as seems possible, wants her own back account why not put everything in the joint one, pay everything that's not personal out of it, then each have a direct debit of however much spending money is left each into seperate accounts. having said all that the main question is what are the two of you happy with?

expatinscotland · 16/01/2006 10:31

I'm in Edinburgh, cathy. This place is expensive as all hell and yet you could still be pretty comfy w/a food and clothing budget of £1200-£1400

NomDePlume · 16/01/2006 10:32

Why the query ? Is she disputing the figure ? Does she think it is too little ? Do you worry that it is too much or too little ?

I'd say that if you can afford that figure then it is more than adequate (even if you are feeding and clothing an army of kids).

coppertop · 16/01/2006 10:32

This does sound familiar.

I would say that it depends on your lifestyle and general standard of living tbh. That's a huge amount to us but then our income is low.

Do you and your dp have a roughly similar amount for spending on yourselves (after bills, food etc)?

NomDePlume · 16/01/2006 10:33

Countess, I thought something very similar.

jetlagdZebra · 16/01/2006 10:33

er... not Carla's dh then, right?

hotmama · 16/01/2006 10:33

Seems quite generous to me - though tbh depends on how much you earn? My dp puts this amount into our 'house account' I put in £600 - although I am on maternity leave so won't be putting anything after the summer until I go back to work. Payments out of this account include the mortgage, nursery fees, food and all household expenditure. We have our own personal accounts.

Although, I am not on a pittance, dp earns loads more than me so he pays for holidays and washing machines etc.

Don't want to get into a domestic arguement - does you dp not think it is enough?

thewomanwhothoughtshewasahat · 16/01/2006 10:35

did I misinterpret the question? was it a question concerning the amount of money? if it was then I positively shudder at the idea of it being "generous" and that you are even asking it in this way. the idea of being "given" an amount of money (ie that it belongs to one person before it gets given) just doesn't come in to how I think of these questions.

cathyspam · 16/01/2006 10:35

Love Edinburgh expat but my friend lives there - very expensive property etc! We live in Argyll where property is cheap but limited expensive shopping. My husband bring this amount home per month and I work 4 hours per week and we manage to pay everything (most of the time) with 2 kids.

expatinscotland · 16/01/2006 10:37

I've got a good pal in Argyll - Blairmore, to be exact. Lovely, but yes, shopping is limited. Both she and her husband are retired (he was a headmaster for years) but they do part-time jobs (he reads gas meters and she is a carer) to fund their extensive travel.

That's the life!

visitingdad · 16/01/2006 10:37

Thanks ladies.

No, I'm not carla's dh!

I take home about £3k pcm. It's not the case that I spend everything that's left in my account on myself - honest! I save it and regard it as ours jointly. Obviously I pay for all the big stuff, like the children's Christmas presents, holidays and flights, and major household expenditure as well.

There isn't any disgreement between us (as far as I am aware) over this - but I was just curious to see how typical or untypical we were.

OP posts:
NomDePlume · 16/01/2006 10:39

If you take home £3k and are paying the mortgage and the majority of the bills then I would stand by my statement of £1200-£1400 being more than adequate for food etc

visitingdad · 16/01/2006 10:41

Sorry, thewomanwhothoughtshewasahat - have obviously offended - not quite sure how, but apologies anyway.

OP posts:
noddyholder · 16/01/2006 10:45

this is a follow up to that other thread surely as the figures and what the money is spent on are identical It is very generous!

crunchie · 16/01/2006 10:45

Everybody workd differently here and you will get a lot of comments about the actual amount. However I would do the maths a little differently.

I would work out the TOTAL household income, and then the TOTAL exenditure on mortgage, bills, etc etc. Including a decent estimate for food shopping, kids clothes etc. BUT excluding 'personal expenses' that you each pay for separately (like your and her clothes, tiletries, pressents, mobile phones whatever)

Then you will see how much is left after household expenses are paid, and you can decide how to split that. The fairest way is 50:50 so you each end up with the same disposable income.

But you do need to take into account 'big purchases' like holidays etc. and decide who pays for these (eg if you pay for then or does she contribute')

Go to the Money Saving Experts webpage and fill in the budget sheet, this really helps you remember everything.

In our household we do things slightly differently. I am teh main breadwinner, so I put £x into a joint account which pays all bills inc shopping etc. All the rest of my wages are MINE! which I use for things like my clothes, my pension, my mobile phone, my gym etc. DH earns a lots less than me, he pays for childcare, mobile phone, sky TV (his toy), pension etc. It ends out we both have (give or take £100) about the same amount of disposable income left. Big purchases are paid for jointly, or by him if he gets more work.

BTW you are not the dh of someone on here a week or so ago, worried about her dh not paying the Barclaycard bill over £1200 are you??

visitingdad · 16/01/2006 10:50

Thanks again. I pay the mobile phone bills for both of us. My DP pays the broadband subscription (very important that, obviously).

Will try working out total household expenditure and see how it comes out.

crunchie, at present I pay for the big ticket items.

I'm intrigued about all these references to another thread! I'm not who you all think I am, I promise.

OP posts:
cori · 16/01/2006 10:51

You are spending almost half your household income on grocerries. That still seems like an awful lot despite your income.
How many children do you have?

CountessDracula · 16/01/2006 10:52

here you go VD

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