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Money matters

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Original poster

Can I ask for views about finances?

46 replies

visitingdad · 16/01/2006 10:26

Hello, I'm just visiting the site and I wondered if I could ask you for your views.

I work full-time and my DP looks after the kids. We don't have a joint account (her choice) but I give her about £1200-1400 pcm.

Out of this she pays for virtually all the food shopping, some children's clothes (although I buy the majority) and her own clothes etc. I pay the mortgage and most of the bills.

Does that sound about right to you?

Thanks in advance!

OP posts:

Original poster

visitingdad · 16/01/2006 10:52

cori I'm sure she doesn't spend it all on groceries!! But I must admit, I don't check up!

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Original poster

visitingdad · 16/01/2006 10:54

Thank you, countess! Having had a quick read of the first few posts, I can see the similarities now...

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CountessDracula · 16/01/2006 10:55

you are most welcome

If you are going to stay around I suggest you change your name or you will become know as VD

Original poster

visitingdad · 16/01/2006 10:56

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crunchie · 16/01/2006 11:12

VD, use this budgets and go through this with your DP, then you both can see just where the money goes.

I do think that the arguments/issues over money between couples come about through lack of knowledge. Carla had no idea what he DP earned, your wife probably does. I feel it empowers both of you when you have done such a budget as there are no secrets

Now to be personal (and please don't start on me and say I am lucky etc) I haven't done such a budget, but I do know exactly what our monthly expenses are. as does dh. Between us we earn about what you do and we both end up with approx £600 a month in our accounts. If you give your DP £1200 and she pays for shopping and a few bits, I would think she is actually slightly better off than you!!

Our total monthly bills inc mortage but not childcare is £1350, my personal expenses inc pension is £200, Dh personal expenses are about £200. Leaving us with approx £600 a month each, which pays for all big ticket items, and other stuff. However dh's work is term time only atm, so we have to allow for this too.

jetlagdZebra · 16/01/2006 11:14

with a shock I realise DH is only giving me an "allowance" of £480/month to buy the same things... should I demand more?

TBH, with child benefit, it seems like plenty more than enough.

Original poster

visitingdad · 16/01/2006 11:22

DP does indeed know what I earn.

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Piffle · 16/01/2006 11:31

It is all relative to the salary and lifestyle, I'm not overly comfy spilling income details on here though...
But proportionately if my dp was earning £100000
per annum, proportionately I'd get what your partner does.

mumfor1sttime · 16/01/2006 11:36

I would say that is more than enough! Wish my dh could do that for me! I work part time, dh works full time, he pays most of the bills. I pay for food, baby clothes, my clothes, car insurance, petrol, going out etc with my wages! We have seperate bank accounts too.

CountessDracula · 16/01/2006 11:38

If you earn £3k a month take-home then I would say that is too much.

Surely she doesn't spend more than £150 a week on food? So then that leaves between 600 and 800 a month to go on what?

Original poster

visitingdad · 16/01/2006 11:44

Well, I don't ask, actually! Should I?

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acnebride · 16/01/2006 11:51

This is probably TMI but it may be interesting, VD.

Adding up my dh's t/home income, mine, child benefit and tax credit brings us to an income about £100 less than yours per month, which goes into the joint account.

Most bills come out of the joint a/c, including dh's season ticket, but not electricity as it is sometimes useful to have a utility account in my name for identity proof.

Monthly budget for food, household, nappies and ds's clothes and toys is £312, which comes to my account by weekly standing order as I buy these things. Petrol is extra on the joint account. Christmas food and presents were on the joint account on top of this.

We each have about £300 personal spending pcm, which covers clothes, mobile, hair etc etc etc. We buy birthday presents for people out of our personal spending but they are all 'from' both of us.

acnebride · 16/01/2006 11:53

If you're happy that there's no problem with finances now or in the future (i.e. enough savings etc) then no need to ask. If you think things may need to change, then maybe time for a chat! Do you pay Critical Illness insurance??

Original poster

visitingdad · 16/01/2006 11:54

Yes I do. Why do you ask?

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crunchie · 16/01/2006 11:57

In case you lose your job!! as you are the main breadwinner.

Again something I feel is a waste of money, but I know a lot of people who do do this

acnebride · 16/01/2006 12:02

sorry vd didn't mean to sound intrusive - just meant that if you have got all insurance/saving bases covered and are happy with your financial situation, then it sounds like you and your dp have a great financial regime set up and no need to ask any further!

Original poster

visitingdad · 16/01/2006 12:05

Thanks. Wasn't quite sure if I was missing something there, that's all.

Have Critical Illness cover, life assurance and death in service benefit from work. Am worth far far more dead than alive, that's for sure!

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thewomanwhothoughtshewasahat · 16/01/2006 12:59

sorry vd (love that). I'm not offended - someone else used "generous" which I didn't like much as I just don;t see it like this - like I say I see it all as a team effort and take quite literally the what's yours is mine business - but I probably sounded a bit arsey. especially to a newcomer

Original poster

visitingdad · 16/01/2006 13:01

I do see it as a team effort, very much so. I suppose by "giving" her the money I was just referring to the physical process of writing a cheque and handing it over.

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thewomanwhothoughtshewasahat · 16/01/2006 13:05

don;t let me put you off mn most of us are quite nice.

Original poster

visitingdad · 16/01/2006 13:20

Thank you! Appreciate all the replies.

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