Can we have a nice, kind supportive gowd we are in so much debt type thread?

[grumpypants]

One where we can just be noice and not scathing? I am just always doing little sums in my head, about when things will be cleared, etc. We have sooo much debt. Interest only mortgage, can't afford repayment at the mo. Credit card - bought rubbish house, paid for work with 'real' money, living expenses on cards. Loan, car loan, overdraft etc. It's about £35k unsecured. We pay 1,000 each month in debt. I am so shocked by how this happened, but there are no expensive shoes peeking out the wardrobe; it's a combo of poor choice, me giving up work due to ill child, and the house falling apart just after we moved in...anyone else? I am trying so hard to cut down, and to pay stuff off - one day I really want to enjoy the money dh and I earn.

Depressing

How's everyone's week going?

I've just transferred £300 from Paypal to current account. Sounds great however, there is still one guy saying he hasn't received PS2, so that might have to be refunded.

I'm just boiling the kettle with vinegar in to descale it - although I think I might have killed it.

Not bad. Got the extra pay and thinking where to chuck it! Half term soon and car - keep your fingers crossed!

What's attracting the highest interest? I think that's supposed to be where the money goes isn't it?

The good news here is that the vinegar worked on descaling the kettle, and it survived. Yay!

I have now cancelled sky, BT line rental, shifted utilities... Line rental and broadband has gone from £27pcm to under £7pcm.

The Ebay totals are looking good. £300 now in current account contributing towards paying off expensive overdraft.

well I don't know - just paid £150 for a half term club for both ds as I figured that would keep them occupied. (IE I know how much i have spent rather than it creeping up on me in extras) However, just after that and paying the balance off my cc, the car packed up again. I am really depressed about this - 650 quid this month, really need it for work, no funds for new car, panicking i'll have to leave work.

Do you have to have a car for your job or to get there?

both. can't get there without it, as have nursery and school runs and a thirty minute drive. would be a non starter to try with buses - 20 min walk into town, 30 min bus to one town, change and 10 mins to work. wouldn't get there til 11!

What does your dh say?

Oh god we are barely talking about it.this month was meant to be really good - my extra pay, no council tax, felt really positive and now rather than paying 500 quid off the cc I have had to add 650! And today - 350 for the new (approved dealer) garage to replace the first piece of woork the garage did. I am so depressed. Feel really stupid for not going to dealer, but also like I'm not convinced that replacing the part is essential. Like the hairdresser who cut your hair last time crap.

God. 1000 on the cc. That'll add years to the debt. Thi is when it just feels pointless.

Could you shift it on to a 0% card? I've got the barclaycard platinum for 22 months (recommended on MSE).

No, my credit rating plus my low earnings make that tricky. I suspect bank of granddad may need to be approached for anything interest free, which is shaming with an income of 80000. At least I get the ch ben on mon which covers the course for the kids (:alf term) I booked. I still seem to think (when it comes to the dcs) that we can afford courses like that. But we have stopped all except one club and I can't bear to have ds not do theatre. Its really cheap and really good for him. I think had the car not fallen apart I would be in a much better place this month.

grumpy (and others) I just wanted to pop on here to say that I really feel for you.

We got ourselves in a horrible mess, but have been lucky because DH has been able to increase his earnings so we have been able to make good headway and should be clear in about 12 months.
Our situation was a bit different, because I didn't know there was a problem and had really awful PND for about a year and just spent money because I thought we had it. DH struggled on and didn't want to tell me and worry me, and then things started to get sticky because of increased repayments and eventually it all came out and we sat down and worked out where we stood.
It was really hard to change the mindset from feeling that we should be able to afford XYZ because our headline income was really good.

You've mentioned family help a few times - is there any way they could help you out so that you can get things under control and repair your credit rating somewhat, so that then you can get a 0% card? You could even do it through a solicitor and offset it against any future inheritance if they are able to be comfortable without it for their lifetime.

That's a really good idea Ali, and worth looking at. I think also dh and I were quite used to separate finances so don't compare notes for ages - made it worse!

It was really hard to change the mindset from feeling that we should be able to afford XYZ because our headline income was really good.
^that is really really true.

Yes - i know what you mean about the 'should' attitude. It's got us nowhere but deeper into debt.

Right now I don't know if this is doable anymore - having such a rubbish month has made me very wary. DH only has about 15 years of working life left, and in that time we have to pay off a 15k loan, 15k cc, start paying the mortgage (over 200k interest free right now) and pay off an overdraft of 8k. I am seriusly wondering if we are just fighting a losing battle.

OTOH i have just increased my hours, we have sorted out all the bills and stripped back to essentials and we will inherit about 20k from my gps when they die. Not nice, but that will help. Just at a loss. DH refuses to discuss it until june when he gets a small bonus.

Have I scared you all away?

Hello grumpy - thought I'd pop in having seen you on the CB thread

That is a bit pants of your DH to not discuss things with you, surely you need to have A PLAN even if it changes?

I guess the thing to look at is, hypothetically if you cleared all the unsecured debt, could you then increase your mortgage payment to what it would be on a repayment one, and have enough left over to live without getting into bother again?

Hello - all. Bit of a backseat for me ATM. Bereavement of a family friend's toddler. It's so so awful I can't really concentrate and engage in my usual MNing of an evening.

My ebaying is all complete now. About £400 raised in total. All going towards the overdraft. Living successfully on £140 cash each week (Food shop, fuel etc have to come out of this).

Anyway, I'm still here and still in debt!

Oh god smacka that really puts life in perspective.
ali slightly ironic me giving out financial advice...yes tho if we didn't have debt we would have a spare grand. Think the car just threw me - ended up being 1000 altogether. But, we are nearer march and the light at the end of the tunnel.
Well done on the overdraft btw. smacka

Hi grumpypant Your situation sounds so similar to mine, me and DH earn over £75K per year jointly, but am always skint, Our mortage is down to 16.5 years but we're with Northern Rock on their variable rate, we can't remortgage just yet, as got high loan to value but if the rates hold we should see it out.
I had a 19K loan to clear cards then filled them up again, however that finally finished in Sept freeing up over £300 per month. I've just done a credit card shuffle and around half our CC debt approx 11k is now on 0%, we'e about to take another loan at a low interest rate to clear another 8K.
If we snowball correctly we can clear everything in about three years but we have no savings or back up and currently are trying for a baby!
It feels such a long slog sometimes as we pay around 900 per month in minimu payments/loans but have been paying up to £1400 off to help clear them.

yes, very similar! amtrying to persuade dh to move soms cc debt around - we did move about £5k but still have £10k on a high interest card. Need to look at this in march when we pay off something else in full with real money - don't want to mess up the credit rating he has by applying now iyswim?

three years not too bad, depends on if you can face waiting though?

I think I'm happy to wait and get rid, its the first time we've got our head above water TBH, so three years isn't that much of a problem, I guess its the daft stuff like we are getting a bonus this month (A big one) but half will go on stuff like car tyres etc, but then instead of going out and booking a mini-break with the other half over £1K will go off a credit card instead. Oh well, another 1.5K in total this month off a bad card will be fab.
Shuffling works well, we've just got the Natwest Platinum card with 0% interest on balance transfers for 20 months - That will be wicked!

I can't transfer - not sure what is on my credit rating, even after looking at experian report. Tried twice now, amd no joy. Just trying to avoid shops!

Hi - am new too all this and hope you don't mind me joining your forum as I could really do with some support.

Am in a real mess financially - have good income coming in but some how have managed to accrue masses of unsecured debt and stagger from month to month never managing to quite live within our means.

Every time I try and raise the subject of bugeting with my hubby he throws a wobbler and says I'm getting at him - I'm not, I just want to get things back under control.

I'm at my wits end - I can't sleep at night, am tired out and no fun to be with - I just don't think I can cope with the situation any more.

Could anyone advise on how to deal with the stress and anxiety/depression that goes with money problems?