Can I throw myself at the feet of mumsnetters and will you help sort my finances out?

[peckarollover]

Not sure if anyone can remember my How Do I Tell Him thread of last year?

Basically I overspend massively (its probably fair to say Im a shopaholic), also far too generous with loaning money to family/friends etc.

Gave up work to be at home a year ago so survive mostly on one income though I do now childmind too.

Im sick of turning a blind eye and even though Ive done it many times before I really do now want to sort things out.

I have improved slightly as dont hammer credit cards as much as I did.

I am wasting small fortunes in bank charges not because we have no money but because its in a different bank or I have cheques mounting to hundreds of pounds sitting in the drawer.

HELP ME please

This is Last Year's Thread

Why do you have a drawerful of cheques?
Cut up the credit cards.
What are your triggers for overspending?

Well at the moment I have £200 to pay into one acount and £200 into another from Christmas money. The second account has just gone 100 overdrawn and we have been charge £25. Why are they in the drawer? I couldnt tell you.

Not sure what my triggers are - I spend all the time when Im out and if Im not out I spend online.

Not huge amounts - but I still live at the same level I did a year ago when I earnt £25k in my own right as well as DHs income - I never seem to have adjusted although have improved signifficantly since we got married last july but Christmas seems to have set me back a bit.

I am similar with some things
The only thing that helps me is to set aside a particular time every week and sort out checques
go to the bank with your mindee on a certain day and do it each week

write down everything you spend
i need to change a bank account shall we get the forms and complete them together
?
i get charged every month as dh's money from hsbc takes 5 days to go into our joint account in another bank so the mortgage goes ot before his money goes in....
if I changed the joint accoutn to hsbc it would go in instainiously.....and we wouldnt get charged...
we need to sort this out

another thing we are about to do (hahaha i say about to do but when it will happen i dont know)

have a regular online shop done same day each week...
menu plan
give ourselves a fixed amount of 'pocket money' each week and dont spend more (i could stick to it but doubt dh can......;)

I have just done the most ridiculous thing yesterday which has partly prompted this thread.

exDH pays my ~(paltry) maintenance into a smile account that I have. I prefer having the money in our main account so I have a standing order that moves the money every week. Except I didnt notice he didnt pay me it for all of December so the weekly standing order has been getting bounced and they have been chargine me £20 a time!!! This was just to move money from one bank account of mine to another but they have treated it like a proper DD bouncing!! How ridiculous is that wastage? Over £100 in a week

I already menu plan and online shop - have managed to control that and have spending quite low. (I would recommend it!)

I have been looking at books on amazon and want an electronic money bank - y'see whatever im thinking of I find ways to turn them into new exciting purchases to make!

Use on-line banking and check your account every day

Write down what you spend every day

Plan a detailed budget and stick to it
eg £x for food each week
£x for clothes each month
etc

I am crap with money too. We always have cashflow issues! but did the following and it helped.

If you haven't already, get all of your bills set up to be paid by direct debit from the same account. A joint account preferably that is only for bills. Also try to get your account, you dhs and your joint all with the same bank, so transfers between them are instant. Then set it up so that your dds all go out same day and make that day 5 days after you get paid. Then you don't actually have to do anything or think about it just check it once a month.

Bloody hell, your bank are mean! Complain! Thats ludicrous.

Or make your ex pay the charges!

If all same bank then never happens......

My ex should pay yes but he wont

He is arranging for money owed to be paid into bank which should just about cover charges

peckarolloever - you could be me.
I overspend constantly and have carried on spending at same rate as when I was working fulltime with good job. If anything, I spend more as I am at home and get more chance to go out with the girls - to the zoo, coffee shops, children?s clothes and toy shops, endless daily food shops etc etc All my spending tends to be #=£10-£30 at a time and feels like nothing really - until I look at my statement with shame. I can easily waste £200 a week in Tesco alone and we aren?t massive eaters.

This year I have started doing a family weekly menu and online shop to keep me out of supermarkets. I have also agreed to stop taking DD2 out shopping with coffee shops incl. We come home for a cuppa and only go to shops once a week max, parks rather than the zoo etc etc.
Will also try to bank cheques within a week of arriving (will be hard as I view stepping inside a bank with same irrational dread as a visit to the dentist!)
Good Luck with your plans xx

Have one day a week working out what money needs to be where, write cheques out, put stamps on evvelopes, set up payments online etc.
The day after post letters, pay bills etc.
Maybe get dh to double cheque your figure.
If you spend online and out I would ban myself from one or the other.
Once you have worked out your bills see how much there is left and get it out the bank in CASH.
Thats is the money you have left for the week. If you spend it online/via switch/credit card whatever you need to remove that amount from the CASH and put it in an envelope to pay the bill/put it in the bank.
You will never get ahold of your finances unless you really know exactly how much you do/dont have and how much goes in/out.
And if you have it in cash you cant kid yourself that itll be alright by the time the bill comes in!

charliecat's advice is brill!!!!!!
will take some tips

charliecat that is exactly what i need to do

I need to know what we earn (dont know), what goes out (dont know) what i spend and when (dont know)

We have 3 joint bank accounts and I have 2 of my own

have a loan
owe my sister money
and 5 credit cards

Right get it all written out on paper.
And for the credit cards you may want to do some of that swopping about..
If not pay as much as you can each month as possible get them right down. How many ccs do you really NEED?
Keep 1...or 2 and cut up the rest.

i dont need any of them and have done really well not spending on any of them recently (Except few exceptions) but the debts total over 20k

I really want one of these

www.argos.co.uk/static/Product/partNumber/2700597.htm

A few brown envelopes with Black Marker Pen will do the job just as well........
And wont cost 25 quid.
If you are a spender and spend say 20, 30 40 quid a day on not very much at all only take 10 quid out with you.
Before you buy anything, ask yourself Do You REALLY Need It......?
Probably not.

Once you have cleared the debts spending your own money that really is yours and isnt owed to a company or bank, well, the pleasure will be immense.

I have a huge mental block where all this is concerned. Baby Steps

What shall I start with?

Get all the bills out and write down the Name of the Company, then the total amount owed, then the amount they are asking for each month...
add it up
then see how much money you have coming in
then I will find a spreadsheet thingy for you to look at....try thisMSE It has on it every bill you coiuld think of to kickstart your brain!

how is your credit rating? could you swap onto 0% cards? At least them you'd be paying the capital and not just interest.

Try working out a reasonable weekly budget, taking out that amount of cash at the start of the week and sticking to it.

If you ring the back and ask nicely you may get the recent charges refunded.

try freezing your credit cards in a small water filled container - doesn't damage the card but will stop impulse buying if you have to wait for the card to defrost.

Would you post some sort of statement of affairs? i.e. a list of the outstanding debts, including interest rates and a list of your incomings and outgoing - we might be able to help more with more information.

As always, I can't recommend the motley fool dealing with debt board highly enough, will post a link in a sec.

I have been on the motley fool site before - I will find my thread there from a few months ago (head went back in sand that time too) it has my SOA.

I will happily bare all to you guys as I think Ineed the support.

rigjht tonight.
whatr will you do - which step can you do from the comfort of your own sofa.
one thing to make a start on this

flick through the next directory?

no, seriously

what shall i do?