Can I throw myself at the feet of mumsnetters and will you help sort my finances out?

[peckarollover]

Not sure if anyone can remember my How Do I Tell Him thread of last year?

Basically I overspend massively (its probably fair to say Im a shopaholic), also far too generous with loaning money to family/friends etc.

Gave up work to be at home a year ago so survive mostly on one income though I do now childmind too.

Im sick of turning a blind eye and even though Ive done it many times before I really do now want to sort things out.

I have improved slightly as dont hammer credit cards as much as I did.

I am wasting small fortunes in bank charges not because we have no money but because its in a different bank or I have cheques mounting to hundreds of pounds sitting in the drawer.

HELP ME please

still a bit in debt - but I got out by being organised ie put all debts in one place the best deal I could find at the time was 0% so spent about 2 weeks getting all debts moved over.. then used budget to work out how much I could afford to transfer over to debt each month and paid it out on day I got paid... I now have about 1K left in debt on CCs after 3 years of paying rest off... and it feels good -- without sounding naff, being out of debt (or almost) feels great... and if I do buy things now I value then... compared to past when I used to buy stuff and leave it in bags in cupboards...

mancmum - were compainies ok abotu you chanign the dates of direct debits?
I tried to do it with our mortgage years agi o and they would not let me

pecka - a few other thinsg on my list

• change gas and elec companies
• dont forget to change to 0% balance transfer cards ANFD REMEMBER TO TRANSFER THE BALANCE!!!!
• make a spreadsheet!

I found everyone fine about changing dates with mortgage company I had to give 3 months notice think they were worried if I changed date, I might miss a month's payment!!

The only one I did not change to pay day was council tax, thinking about it -- that is 4 days later...

popsy is right about any DD as well check every one out we are currently changing house insurance as we have found one 200 quid cheaper a year... think car insurance, house, contents, phone, gas, light check every bill you get and make sure you can not get them cheaper...

Also, there is a program on called pay mortgage of in 2 years -- worth watching for some good tips!!

might give that a go.....we haeva a ridiculous situation where my bank is with lloyds and dh's is with hsbc.
i get paid on the 22nd and him on the last day of the month.
we both put money into our joint lloyds account...mine goes in on 23rd immediately, dh's goes in on 1st of the month.....but takes 5 ddays to get there....and the mortgage comes out on the first of the month
so overdrawn every month needlessly
hmmmm

we cant get 0% anymore, dont know why but started getting refused - probably too much overall debt

Why haven't you told him the full truth, Pecka? Don't you want to stop over-spending?

Oh I do, I really am getting there but dont want him to get in a panic and start scrutinising every penny. He would have us living in darkness and eating value beans for every meal.

So, what are you planning to do first? Sorry I don't mean to sound bossy, but I can see this ending up a really long thread and you getting really confused/scared by everything you need to do and you'll end up doing nothing.

Im going to spend some time tonight filling in a budget. Keep putting it off and getting overwhelmed but if I just do it a bit at a time should be ok.

I know this is really simplistic but one thing I did when I had to adjust to not earning anymore is take out cash for the week. Just did this at the beginning to get used to the idea that the week's cash was in that envelope. If I bought books on Amazon, I'd take the money out of the envelope and put it to one side but since I found it hard doing that I just tried not to shop online for a while and only to use cash when I went out. I only did it for a few weeks but I found it a really tough lesson in learning that cash is all there is. Somehow I'd got to thinking that the money on credit cards and typed into Amazon was just play money, just a case of moving noughts around from one place to another. As I say, a very simplistic, short term solution but worth trying just to start yourself off on good habits. I found it did help me to think before spending.

Good! I shall expect a weekly report !

GOOD NEWS!!! Had a call today from a lady I iron for (I take in ironing for extra cash) asking me to childmind her 6 month old as from February for 2 full days a week. So that is extra income that will help matters.

I've just done a budget - MSE style. A bit scary. I now see why we don't have much money at the end of the month. I previously only looked at fixed outgoings (direct debits) and our incomings. Once I did Martin's spreadsheet, I see that we need to budget for another £718 going out each month. This is for things we only pay yearly or that we spend on so often I don't see the totals - car service, tax, food bills, petrol, service charge on flat etc etc. An exercise well worth doing.

Great news

Good news Pecka .

I've just opened 3 "pots" with my bank. I've got one of those all in one accounts for mortgage/current account/savings, so anything I have in current account and savings is offset against the mortgage. I'm going to save £30 a month towards car tax instead of buying car tax stamps, £20 a month towards Christmas and £20 towards holidays. Annoying things is they've now told me I have to wait until Monday for the account numbers, so I can't ring First Direct to set up the standing orders. First Direct are so much better than the Woolwich.

I'm saving monthly for yearly things now too (only did this today, so feeling v.proud of myself!):

car tax
car service
service charge for flat
holidays

I've set up advance transfers for the 1st of every month to our saving account, so we shouldn't notice the money going out.

I already pay my TV licence, gas, elec & phone/broadband monthly, so there are no big bills for them. Should really allow for Christmas too I suppose. We've got an outstanding balance on a credit card that we just pay the monthly payment on, or a small bit more. It's only 0%, so it doesn't cost anything, but it's always hanging over us, so I'm going to have a few careful months, and try and clear it off.

My MIL is really careful with money. She writes down everything she spends (has done for years) and budgets for absolutely everything. I've always thought it was a bit mad, but at least she always knows exactly where she is with everything.

Just need to see if I can make savings on our home insurance (we pay £30 per month - that's got to be too much!), and cancel one of our life insurance policies (we took out a better, cheaper policy, and didn't get round to cancelling the original one ).

just started putting things down onto paper

Remeber tv licences and all the little things that at the end of the day all add up. Youve got to face it to fix it xxx

Mortgage 558

Gas and electricity 80

Water 25

Council tax 120

Home ins 35

Nursery fees 100

Broadband 24

Bt 50

Mobile (has been 100 the last 2 months, monthly line rental is 30)

dh mobile 10

dd dinner money 32.50

Food 216

Finance agreement for engagement and wedding rings 50 (interest free another year left)

Loan 240

Barclay card 116

Egg card 10

Hsbc card 150

Petrol 303

We have two cars so mot, tax and insurance x 2 ? insurance was paid in full for the year (on a credit card fgs) tax and mot normally dealt with on an as and when basis

Sky tv 23

TV licence 10

Not including clothes, toiletries, going out, hubbys lunch money etc this all amounts to more than we have coming in

dh salary 1750

Maintenance from DDs father 151

Childminding child 1 100

Childminding child 2 113

Have had an enquiry about another child starting in February which will be approx 275 a month but hasn?t started yet

Child benefit 121

Tax credits , ongoing battle with them, getting nothing due to previous overpayment

Where do I start what do I do!?

The bank accounts we have

Joint accounts x 2

I have personal accounts x 1

dh has an old student account x 1

this doesnt include

any money spent on non essentials

car tax, mot or insurance

fuckt

why £100 in nursery fee's if your a childminder?

God your outgoings v similar to us bar the mobile bill.We have decided enough is enough and have put our house on the market and are going to downsize and have no mortgage at all It is stressful trying to balance the books so I understand There don't seem to be any excessively extravagant things there Could you downsize and take the pressure off?

Well Done you for working it out. Your mobile is XTREME is there not a cheaper bulk paakage or something you could swop to, maybe start a thread saying who and how you use your phone and ask for the best way to do it.
Im going to do a bit of adding up and may be some time lol

yep the mobile is ridiculous

im on the o2 site right now trying to work out how to help

i pay 30 a month to include 500 texts and 1000 off peak minutes. so im getting battered for any peak calls i make it seems

dont kow whether to throw this sim away keep on paying the 30 but put a pay as you go sim back in