What do you think is an acceptable amount of DEBT to get into so that you can be a SAHM?????

[Eaney]

With first DS I went back to work full time when he was 7.5 Mths old. 10 mths ago I had another baby and have still not gone back to work. I keep eeking out the leave. My unpaid Maternity leave ends in Jan and now I want to take a few weeks parental leave.

We can't afford it. There is simply less money coming in than going out (about £400 a month short). I feel guilty taking this extra time maybe because it's for me nore than the baby. I found working and being a Mum really hard. The day to day practical stuff, the fact that you take up all the slack at home, the fact that you are always responsible for the kiddie stuff and all the stuff at work.

I feel my health really suffered and I feel I should be selfish now and take as much time as I need even if I know we will be in debt at the end of it. I try to look at the long game but would be really interested in how other people view debt and what they consider is acceptable. It may salve my conscience (sp?).

i wouldn't want to be in any debt.
you're not going to suddenly be able to pay it off, it's just going to get bigger and bigger and bigger and eventually something bad will happen.

can you get a part-time job? or work from home?

Eaney, would it be possible to "downshift" in order to make your staying at home more affordable?

I'm in a totally different situation, but find myself living on an amount that previously would have seemed unthinkable to me. It does take a major attitude shift though.

What we did was for one of us to take a part-time job evenings and weekends. That should make up your £400/month shortfall.

We got into debt over a tax credits error - cost us about £3,200.

Think I'd look into some part-time work evenings/weekends before I started taking on the debt.

Sorry, I didn't address your question. I agree with starlover - it is better to avoid debt as far as possible. Children get more expensive as they get older. Getting into debt now would be storing up some potentially nightmarish problems in the future.

I know the feeling well Eaney, I'm a SAHM to a 16 mo DD and no 2 due in Jan. I got made redundant during maternity leave but had planned to leave anyway. After bills etc we have no disposable income right now (should be a bit better in Jan though when a loan finishes). We decided to move back to Scotland from the SE as it was the only way we could afford to get a decent sied house and for me to remain a SAHM.

I think you are looking for a figure that you would consider is OK but I don't think there is one to one person no debt is acceptable to another 30K is. Could you look at other ways of reducing your outgoings to give you a bit more money/less debt?

I know it's such a hard decision and we've had to accept that for the next few years until the DDs are at nursery/school we will be poverty stricken but for me it's worth it to be able to stay at home with them.

Agree with SL. Don't think it is wise to start out with the expectation of getting into spiralling debt. Your creditors won't tolerate it for long either. What if you have a sudden unavoidable expenditure.

Sorry but I think you either need to recoup the £400 by making changes to your lifestyle and expenditure, or find a compromise, say by returning part time, os that thinsg are not so out of balance.

Downshift. Do you mean sell house? Yeah I suppose this is always an option but not ideal. Everything else has bee pretty much cut to the bone.

I suppose by the long game I mean that we have quite a bit of equity in our house this can always be realised in a few years when things are more settled. I will be returning PT probably in Feb but between now and then we expect to build up a debt. We think of it like a short ter economic blip in a longer term economic situation.

Eaney, no I didn't mean sell your house! Just wondered if there are any changes you can make in order to economise thus allowing you to stay at home.

If you are definitely planning to go back to work eventually then I would say why not go into debt a bit (if you are sure you can manage it sensibly). I am currently on maternity leave although am going back just before Christmas (ds will be 8 months old) and we have a large overdraft as a result of me receiving hardly any salary for the last few months.

An extra £400 a month part-time from home is achievable... have you considered selling on ebay or maybe running a part-time business like Kleeneze/Betterware/Virgin vie/Mini iq or Bodyshop?
In network marketing/direct sales if you build a team you could earn good bonuses on other's efforts as well as your own which is a very efficient use of your time.

Think outside the box and become focussed on finding a real solution - you never know, just a bit of time spent now on finding an answer to your situation could pay you dividends later (rather than spiralling further into debt) and wil provide you with choices when your children are at school ...

I think you are right that to on eperson 30k is acceptable and to someome else 0 is accesptable. I know DP's father was so afraid of Debt he refused to get a mortgage 35 years ago when houses were really cheap and now at the age of 70 odd lives in rented accomadation.

A certain amount of Debt is inevitable in this life if you are to own your own home it's just a question of me deciding what is acceptable to me. Other people's views on this sublect help me deal with the issue in my head.

I think you can go into as much debt as you feel comfortable that you can eventually pay off without too much pain.

For me, that sum is about £2000, but others may have other benchmarks.

Break it down into manageable chunks, £400 is £100 a week. So, magazines, subscriptions you don't really 'need', cut down on booze (!) and food shop etc etc.

I think you only have this time once so if you can make it work it is worth it.

I 'borrowed' money from dd1's savings account so I could have more time off when dd2 was born .

Do you want extra maternity leave or are you looking at being at home long term?

Can you contact your mortgage lender for a mortgage holiday? They might be quite receptive if it is for a short finite period

Good suggestion hmc we did this last year for 6 months - really helped for a while...

And do make sure you're doing it as economically as possible - 0% interest rates, very low interest, etc.

Personally I wouldn't want to get into too much debt as it will limit your options in the future. For instance if you owe too much you may not then be able to afford to work part time iyswim.
After my second I now only work 2 days. This earns us enough to get by and also have 5 days at home too! imo the best of both worlds

Thanks for your thoughts. I contacted my Mortgage Lender and they do offer a payment holiday so I will certainly will consider it. Did your monthly payment alter much when you returned to paying the Mortgage.

It's interesting to here other peoples thoughts on Debt. I am a bit surprised they aren't more people who feel comfortable increasing their short term debt. Debt is an interesting subject. Certain types of debt worry us and others (Mortgage) we tend to ignore.

We're in and out of debt. I am getting very good at adjusting my spending depending on my dh's work, or lack of it.

I can get by on an absolute shoestring if necessary, but it gets depressing after a while.

After we took the payment holiday our payments did go up (can't remember exactly how much) but we then remortgaged with another lender for a higher amount on a better interest rate which helped twofold: we reduced our monthly mortgage payment and paid off credit cards with the surplus. This doesn't necessarily make sense to everyone financially to use a 25 year mortgage to pay off credit cards and short term loans as it's extended our debt by 25 years, but our main criteria was to reduce outgoings whilst I wasn't earning in the short term.

It worked for us to reduce the outgoings so drastically knowing that in my new job I'd have high earnings in the future which we can use to pay off large lumps of our mortgage as and when we can.

I would not put myself in debt if I could avoid. Too many people get into debt too easily I think. My BIL has remortgaged so SIL can stay at home. Personally think it's a bad idea as your earning power is usually less when you return from years out of work.

I can't belive how little debt you're in! Most people I know are in more debt than us and well (my husband!) owes about 12 grand all told with student loans and his credit card.... I thought that was small! I know nothing about money at all

Oddly enough I got an earful from my drunken mother about debt the night before last, she would spend all week moaning about how they might go 5 pounds overdrawn (dear god, a whole 5 pounds mother?!) I couldn't live like that!

I'm totally confident we'll pay it all off... I haven't had chance to study at all yet and once I have I should be straight into a nice steady job with good prospects... The average student debt these days is about 30k isn't it? There's no way us younger ones can avoid debt!

Just to say thanks. I spoke to Mortgage lender and they have a great Payment Holiday offer. If you reduce to only pay the interest for a max of 12 mths when you resume paying, your payments will be the same as now. Not sure how this benifits the lender.

They also offer complete payment holidays which results in a slightly higher monthly payments when the holidy ends. I just thought I would thank you for suggesting this.

Glad it has worked out for you!