What do you think is an acceptable amount of DEBT to get into so that you can be a SAHM?????

[Eaney]

With first DS I went back to work full time when he was 7.5 Mths old. 10 mths ago I had another baby and have still not gone back to work. I keep eeking out the leave. My unpaid Maternity leave ends in Jan and now I want to take a few weeks parental leave.

We can't afford it. There is simply less money coming in than going out (about £400 a month short). I feel guilty taking this extra time maybe because it's for me nore than the baby. I found working and being a Mum really hard. The day to day practical stuff, the fact that you take up all the slack at home, the fact that you are always responsible for the kiddie stuff and all the stuff at work.

I feel my health really suffered and I feel I should be selfish now and take as much time as I need even if I know we will be in debt at the end of it. I try to look at the long game but would be really interested in how other people view debt and what they consider is acceptable. It may salve my conscience (sp?).

It benefits them as you stay with them, rather than remortgaging elsewhere. Also they might tack an extra year on the the LENGTH of time you are paying the mortgage If this has saved you the £400 a month, then go for it, for sure.

If you really feel strongly about staying with your children, personally getting into debt is not a great way to start off
Is there any chance you could do work in the evenings if you were up to it? Without childcare to pay out, even lower paid work like supermarket shelf stacking helps line the wallet a little.
Take a serious look at your outgoings, trim what you can.
We moved 250 miles north (dp was able to mvoe offices) in order to find a cheaper but larger house so that my going back to work could wait until... whenever my dd has some special needs so no hurry to send me out to work yet.
Do what you can, but pls try and avoid debt if you can

Hi Eaney, just to add my thoughts, I am in a vaguely similar position to y ou. DD is 18mths and we are expecting 2nd in April. We have little enough money coming in that all dh's salary goes on bills and mortgage, and I earn sporadic amounts working freelance which miraculously (I am a very tight householder) covers food and clothing for DD and myself - never buy anything new, got to be joking, blimey. And I really think we will need to go into debt pretty soon, and I'm damned if I'm going to mind about it. I think it is absolutely priceless to be able to stay at home with your children if you are minded to do so. If you are aware enough of the dangers of debt to start a thread like this you are probably the sort of person for whom it is a short term solution, not a monster. Useful to find out about mortgage holidays - maybe we ought to find out about this too! Good luck.

Also feel that moving house can be very emotive issue. If we are talking personal health and happiness I would certainly prefer to be in short term debt, in a big enough house with friends around and my own well trodden surroundings, than uprooted to a new place or a smaller house for the sake of a few bob over a couple of years.

Apparently they won't tack an extra year on which is why I couldn't understand what's in it for them. When I asked them they said their customers happiness was important to them. Can't quite believe it. It could just be to keep us there with them, loyality and all that.

To be honest it's not just wanting to be with the children it's more to do with my health. I slipped a disc a couple of years ago and have SI joint dysfunction so feel I need a good time to recover from a difficult pregnancy. I am a lot better than I was after the birth but the physical rigors of traveling, working and looking after kids worries me.

I was really pleased with the holiday idea and feel I may have a solution. Don't you just hate money!!!!

eaney: "I am a bit surprised they aren't more people who feel comfortable increasing their short term debt."

In my experience there is unfortunately no such thing as "short term debt". If you are likely to be coming into windfall in a year or so, fair enough - otherwise, it's very rarely short-term.

Exactly, MP. Something always seems to come up and you find yourself unable to pay it down.

I WISH we hadn't had to take on debt, it certainly wasn't something we did voluntarily.

But now we're in it, it'll be a long, long while before we can pay it.

Eaney - I think it is OK if you have a plan, which you have got, as you said that you are returning to work in February.

I got into debt during one of my maternity leaves - I only took 4 months! but we were only just scraping by anyway, so we owed about 1000 at the end of the 4 months.

Good point about short term debt.

I screwed up on budgets a couple nearly 2 years ago, went on holiday on interest free credit and got into a short term debt which I'd planned to pay off by last christmas.

Unfortunately I'd completely forgotten about renewal of house insurance and car insurance - low interest items which were too boring for me to consider! So I'm still paying it, and if it's gone by Christmas 2006, I'll have done well.