Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Money matters

Find financial and money-saving discussions including debt and pension chat on our Money forum. If you're looking for ways to make your money to go further, sign up to our Moneysaver emails here.

Original poster

really down about lack of money

39 replies

alfiesmadmother · 04/02/2011 13:14

I don't work, my youngest is an infant, my oldest is 8. Before you tell me to get a job, I have 2 pre schoolers, my husband works til 9pm 3 nights a week, saturday and sunday mornings.

ALL his wages go on bills, I pay both phone and car insurance. I don't see any of his wage as he is repaying debts including a council tax debt that is coming straight out of his wage.

So I live on my child benefit. My DH earns £35000 which means this will do, and I get £10.50 a week tax credit which usually buys their lunches. I occasionally make money on ebay to pay for car MOT/tax/birthdays and have sold almost all I own. including my car .

I just feel really desperate and alone. I do love my DH but the strain on our relationship is bad and we blame each other for things that have gone wrong. Losing the child benefit is the final straw, our rent os £750 and counciul tax would normally be £145, we have already got a payment plan for our debts.

I feel if i wasn't married I would get help with benefits etc but I have nowhere to turn and I am desperate in floods of tears. I have let my children down so badly.

OP posts:
LemonDifficult · 04/02/2011 13:19

Ooooh, no, please don't feel like this! You really are doing your best.

And don't feel alone either. Horrible as it sounds, there are many, many others in a similar situation. Some of your friends may well be, they just don't tell you.

LemonDifficult · 04/02/2011 13:21

Money is just such an all-consuming thing.

At least you know that it's money putting a strain on you. What does your DH say? Could you make a money boost plan?

Original poster
alfiesmadmother · 04/02/2011 13:22

thank you, I can see light at the end of the tunnel as the council tax will be paid off in 3 months. I just feel like DH works so so hard and I am on my own with the kids (would like to work) so much and so tired and I just feel I want more for my kids and just totally stuck Sad

OP posts:
AnnoyingOrange · 04/02/2011 13:22

child benefit is not going until 2013 and then only for higher rate taxpayers, which is earnings over 40K

AnnoyingOrange · 04/02/2011 13:24

This tax year all earnings above £43,875 are taxed at 40 per cent. But from next April this threshold will be lowered to £42,475, the Treasury has now confirmed.

from www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/personalfinance/consumertips/tax/8177634/700000-more-to-pay-higher-rate-tax.html

Original poster
alfiesmadmother · 04/02/2011 13:24

Generally DH and I work as a team but on days like today I take it out on him. We all had to have marmite sandwiches for the 5th day and I was at the end of my tether , but generally we are a team . I do car boot sales in the summer and we do really well from charity shops and happy with that it is just so frustrating having to get rid of the car and stuck in with the little ones with no money every day.

OP posts:
AnnoyingOrange · 04/02/2011 13:25

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-11464300

Original poster
alfiesmadmother · 04/02/2011 13:25

Sorry I thought I saw on the news that they are lowering the threshhold to £35k !!! I really hope this is not true!

OP posts:
Original poster
alfiesmadmother · 04/02/2011 13:30

www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/threequarters-of-a-million-to-pay-higher-rate-of-tax-2199227.html#

I must be getting confused

OP posts:
Original poster
alfiesmadmother · 04/02/2011 13:32

I can't post as a link but it should work if you copy and paste it

OP posts:
AnnoyingOrange · 04/02/2011 13:42

But around 500,000 people will be lifted out of paying income tax altogether, as a result of the £1,000 increase in the amount people can earn tax-free, raising the threshold to £7,475.

you need to add the tax free amount to the 35,000, to get £42,475

Smile

better news that you thought

Original poster
alfiesmadmother · 04/02/2011 13:44

thanks, just getting hysterical...and dumb. That is a big relief.

However I do still struggle on the child benefit, but at least we won't starve!!!

OP posts:
mmmitsdelicious · 04/02/2011 15:51

Surely the payment plan for your debts has to allow you enough money to live on?
We raise our 3 DC's on DP's wage of £19,000 a year.
I get Child Benefit and Tax Credits which pay our rent and council tax. There's nothing left after that.
There's always someone worse off than you.
There's no point moaning about it.

LIZS · 04/02/2011 15:58

Is he really paying out over £1000 in debt plan/arrears. Who negotiated it and when does this finish ?

GypsyMoth · 04/02/2011 16:00

does ALL his wage really go on bills? every last penny?

Original poster
alfiesmadmother · 04/02/2011 16:22

Of course he is not paying that much in debt. He is paying £260 to them. The council tax is almost £400 at the moment. Added electric, gas, internet,water, car insurance for both or us, plus £70 a week petrol at the very least, there is usually about £40 left. Council tax have no consideration as to wether you have enough to live on unfortunately, they take the money from your wage.

And it is not helpful saying don't moan about it. On £19000 a year you get more than £10.50 a week tax credits which is what I have to live on.

OP posts:
LIZS · 04/02/2011 16:49

sorry but that still seems an awful lot potentially unaccounted for. His take home should exceed £1700 even after the CT, so after rent, £800-900 at least to cover all those items you mention, although you say you pay the phone and car insurance separately. Are there other debts ? Somewhere along the line there should be more room for manoeuvre. Perhaps CAB could help you budget it and make sure you are getting the best deals.

GypsyMoth · 04/02/2011 16:49

so council tax ends soon,and car expenses for you have gone,presumably,with the car?

mmmitsdelicious · 04/02/2011 17:28

I've told you that my tax credits go on rent and council tax so I have nothing left in my bank at the end of the month.
He is earning £35,000 a year, you are in no position to complain about that really.
How have you ended up in CT arrears when he's earning so much ?

Original poster
alfiesmadmother · 04/02/2011 17:47

How dare you?? I wrote a post telling me of my loneliness about this situation that I personally have no money. I wish he earned 19000 then I would have high tax credits to manage myself. Do you think I am responsible for my husbands actions? Really??? Please reread my post ILOVE TIFFANY. O i bet you do.

OP posts:
LemonDifficult · 04/02/2011 17:54

AMM - £35K isn't loads of money for a family, it probably just seems that way to others. But perfectly possible to get into serious trouble on any amount of earnings. It doesn't change that you're feeling rubbish now.

I guess the question is - what can be done? Do you want to give us a bit more info/breakdown and see if we can help?

GypsyMoth · 04/02/2011 17:55

Is it me you're referring to there with the 'how dare you' ??

I have read your post, and am merely ascertaining your car expenses as you say your car went, but then list 2x car ins

Original poster
alfiesmadmother · 04/02/2011 18:04

I will come back leter and give you a breakdown. Sorry if you misunderstood- I did say I sold MY car and my DH still runs his car.

I think my true problem is that because I am married I get no help. If I go back to work I get no childcare help and it is my husbands perogative if i get money for food or if he uses it for petrol etc.

OP posts:
Original poster
alfiesmadmother · 04/02/2011 18:05

He is earning £35,000 a year, you are in no position to complain about that really.

That was why I said how dare you?

And I agree depending on where you live it is not much money .

OP posts:
GypsyMoth · 04/02/2011 18:07

I think the problem is your relationship with your dh then. You could go back to work and halve the childcare costs.

You get no help be quad you're married? What do you mean by that? What help is it you would ideally receive?