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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

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Original poster

Preggers again, & NERVOUS

59 replies

Daynee · 03/02/2010 16:30

Hi ladies,
Well, I'm preggers again but unfortunately, I can't be excited about it. After 4 mc's, I pretty much expect it to happen again. Yes, I've done all the tests, nothing wrong, last one had triploidy, maybe bad eggs? Nobody knows. I'm taking my vitamins, baby aspirin, and progesterone, BUT I'm not going to go to the doctor until I make it 3 months.
This might sound crazy but I'm tired of paying all this money to be disappointed over and over again. There isn't anything they can do for me anyway...
So I wish I had a fast forward button. Any other suggestions? I'm just working, keeping busy, and trying not to think about it (easier said than done). I'm so worried. Every time I go to the bathroom, my heart pounds...
Encouraging words, anyone?

OP posts:
rainbowdays · 11/03/2010 17:51

Daynee - , I am so happy for you. I can understand that ou are still quite nervous, but you are doing so well, I hope you are allowing yourself some excitement to creep in. I will be looking out for your update after your 12 weeks scan.... really pleased for you.

kissmummy · 11/03/2010 22:03

daynee i can't believe i'm reading this - it sounds like this one is going to make it! i will be soooo excited for you if this is a success story. please keep us updated. we're all here for you whatever happens, but this has a good feel about it doesn't it? did you do anything differently this time?

MegMum25 · 12/03/2010 08:13

Hi Daynee
KissMummy told me your fabulous news, it's so lovely to hear. I had a successful pregnancy after 4 consectuive m/cs and the scan with a heartbeat was the most wonderful uplifting sight I had ever seen. I cannot promise you will ever actually enjoy your pregnancy but at least try to, this one's a sticker!!

I am now pregnant again (6 weeks) after a furthermicarriage in December - got my first scan next week. So far no bleeding and ongoing symptoms but as Kissmummy knows, I am cracking up a bit with the anxiety. I will let you know how I go next week and we can all hand hold through the next few months! xx

Original poster
Daynee · 12/03/2010 13:46

kissmummy - Good to hear from you. How are you doing?? Thank you for your encouraging words. This one does feel like a keeper. I didn't do anything different--actually my dh and I really didn't try during my last cycle, so this was a surprise. I'm taking baby aspirin and vitamins, just like with the other ones. Maybe I got a good egg (or good spermy) this time...just good luck I guess...I hope.

MegMum - What wonderful news! I still can't believe it myself. I feel like it's still too good to be true and I just can't imagine myself getting big and pushing out a real, live baby. Did you feel this way after your 4 mc's? It's totally surreal. Let's do keep in touch, and let me know about your scan!

rainbow - How are things? I'm so nervous about my 12-week scan. I keep thinking I'm going to look up at the screen and see that it hasn't grown...I have actual nightmares about it. What a pity.

OP posts:
MegMum25 · 12/03/2010 15:53

Hi Daynee
I completely felt like that. Even when I felt her move, 20 minutes later I would believe it had all come to an end and start panicking. THere is nothing like the feeling of them moving in your tummy, it's amazing and erases all the pain from the previous losses but you do also get frequent moments when you feel it's all going to be stolen away again.

I was in denial when I went to hospital to give birth to my DS and ended up with a caesarian and when they held her up - I said 'is that really my baby' and all the midwives cried?! I then just prodded her for a few days, totally and utterly disbelieving! It was weird and I regret not allowing myself to bond sooner, so do try to let go and surrender to it, you deserve this experience and to enjoy it, you have had enough sadness.

I am trying to tell myself that every day and also reminding myself that any loss doesn't feel worse just coz you believe in a positive outcome!

MegMum25 · 12/03/2010 15:55

oops, I meant my DD, I had a little girl!

MegMum25 · 12/03/2010 15:59

PPS, you cannot be as mad as I am/was. I have just counted and I had a scan every 2 weeks for the first trimester and then every month for the whole pregnancy and went to see a midwife every week to hear the heartbeat through the doppler. When I realised that Tom Cruise had got Katie Holmes an ultrasound machine, I seriouslty considered it!! I am with you on the nightmares!!

Original poster
Daynee · 12/03/2010 16:43

LOL MegMum - If I had as much money as Tom Cruise, I'd also buy an ultrasound machine. I've actually thought about renting a doppler which I could afford but I'm trying to resist that urge because I think it will make me more obsessed, and my dh might begin to worry about my mental health. And with my luck, the thing wouldn't work right and send me into a horrible panic...

Thanks for sharing the story of your DD. It makes me hopeful. I don't think I'll believe I'm having a baby until they hand it to me!

OP posts:
rainbowdays · 18/03/2010 20:04

Daynee - just popping in to say that I am thinking of you and hope everything is still going well. not long til your next scan now.

Original poster
Daynee · 19/03/2010 12:47

Hi rainbow - Thank you so much for checking in. I keep thinking it's still too good to be true...now way I'm actually going to have a real baby. My scan is 11 days away . I think that if everything is good at that point, I'll be much more relaxed and actually able to enjoy this pregnancy...

How are you doing these days??

OP posts:
rainbowdays · 29/03/2010 19:57

Daynee - Hope that scan tomorrow goes well and that you see your little wriggly baby snug and happy.

Original poster
Daynee · 31/03/2010 12:31

Hi rainbow - Good news! I did see our little one snug as a bug...bouncing and kicking and even sucking his or her thumb. It was so awesome, and I'm just hoping and praying that everything continues to go well.

Thanks for caring...How are you doing?

OP posts:
musicposy · 31/03/2010 12:36

Daynee, I'm so glad for you. I was on the October thread and I followed your progress on there. I'm really happy that this one is working out after all you've been through - will keep praying everything goes well for you.

MiniMarmite · 31/03/2010 13:28

Hi Daynee

I think we've chatted before, along with a few others on this thread. I'm so glad you had a successful scan, wishing you all the very best.

Goodluckbear · 31/03/2010 14:14

Hi Daynee,

I've been following this thread - so pleased for you!! Gives me hope .

Good luck for the coming months, keep us posted, it's really good to read your story here.

xxx

rainbowdays · 02/04/2010 10:01

Daynee - so happy for you, I think it is great that you can now start getting excited about this little one, she/he sure is nice and snug there for you.

I am doing ok, even wondering if I am strong enough to go through another time, and trust that at some point our chances have to go in the direction of it working too.

Have you joined a antenatal thread now then? Are you going to have a 20 week scan too? I am really happy for you.

Sunni1976 · 08/04/2010 20:47

Hi Rainbowdays, I just wanted to say 'Don't give up'.....

I had my first m/c about two months ago and it was awful, the worst! But I'm going to try again in June(still have another four frozen embryos). Hopefully it will be sucessful-my doc has put me on heparin in addition to the baby aspirin. Sometimes I can't wait for June to get here and then again, I'm so scared but hoping for the best.

I recently read about a couple who went through 10 miscarriages! Then she was put on some meds and finally had twins..........so please don't give up .

MegMum25 · 09/04/2010 12:26

Hi all
Thought I would update you on my situation which, though I am still totally panic stricken from time to time after my five m/cs, this pregnancy seems to be heading in the right direction too. I have had four scans since six weeks and am now 10,5 weeks with a lovely wriggly baby and heartbeat. It can and does happen. That said, it's no picnic and I have been very worried, distracted, hardly sleeping and generally overwhelemed by it all. It's so hard to shift the neagtive thoughts when you have had multiple losses before but sometimes the little beans bed in and survive depsite all the bad thoughts. I am so hoping I make it through the next week or so to the crucial 12 weeks and will let you know as I hope if it works out this time, it demonstrates that you should not give up hope. xxx

Original poster
Daynee · 09/04/2010 19:54

rainbow - You are so strong, and I just love to hear from you . I hope that you do try again. I think somehow God will let you know when you should "fold 'em" but if you still feel hopeful, then it is for a reason, right?
I would love to have some nice facebook friends if you're interested. I just moved, (I've moved around the states a lot) and don't have any fb friends that can relate to what I'm going through! Let me know!

Megmum - Congratulations ! What wonderful news. I really love to hear it. For some reason, these things happen to some women...considering how miraculous having a baby is, I'm surprised it doesn't happen to more. Keep me posted...I'm in the pregnancy threads now "October 2010"

XOXO

OP posts:
rainbowdays · 12/04/2010 20:49

Sunni - thank you for the encouraging words, unfortunately, I have had 6 miscarriages in a row now, and one previous one to that. So I guess that I am trying to decide whether it is my body telling me that it is time to give up, or whether I have been particularly unfortunate to have been got so many times. This last m/c got to 11.5 weeks and even saw a heartbeat. But it was not meant to be. So although part of me wants to "not give up", part of me knows that I have to be realistic too. Chances of me having a sucessful pregnancy now are slim. But thank you again for your kind words.

megmum - great to hear another encouraging success story. hope the rest of the pregnancy goes really smoothly for you.

Daynee - I am on fb, I don't tend to post on there but do catch my friends online for a chat.

Dreamfastgelfling · 27/04/2010 11:27

I feel your pain! i've had three mc's and i still am heartbroken after the last one. But i have a small confession, i think i'm pregnant again. i am over a week late for my period. we did a test two weeks ago after weeks of feeling sick, and not being able to do much because i felt awful. that came back negative. but now i've missed my period and i am terrified about taking a test. got one sat ontop of the toilet for when i pluck the courage up!!!

i am scared as currently im going through tests with gynae, and have an mri scan on the 10th of may! i've been tested for cancer. at 23! anyway suppose i ought to go to work! and try not to think about it!!

rainbowdays · 29/04/2010 13:25

Dreamfastgelfling - sorry to hear you have had 3 m/c's, and that you are worried about testing at the moment. It was two days ago you posted so perhaps you have had the courage to test since then? let us know how things go.

SallyDawson · 29/04/2010 14:49

Hi ladies, this is my first post. I've had 2 miscarriages in a row, and I'm now about 10 weeks pregnant. I've finally booked a scan but have otherwise avoided the subject because I just would go mental waiting everyday. I can't feel otimistic even though I have symptoms and no bleeding because my last miscarriage was missed. Do you have any idea how common missed miscarriages are compared to the spontaneous sort? My denial is made much easier because I've just emigrated away from UK but that also means I have nobody to talk to except DH who is doing as good a job of ignoring it as I am. Reading this thread has persuaded me maybe I should go for some blood tests to check out my hormones rather than just stick my head in the sand?..

rainbowdays · 30/04/2010 11:46

Hi and welcome Sally. It is too late to go for blood tests to check out hormones at ten weeks. At this stage a scan will be the only way to say if the pregnancy is progressing ok or not. When is your scan? It is tough believing in a pregnancy after m/c. Do you mind me asking where you have emigrated to?

Daynee - any news from you?

SaraGL · 30/04/2010 12:20

Hi, this is my first posting too. I have been reading the threads and felt so reassured that I am not alone in feeling stir crazy that I had to post a message. I have had three miscarriages in a row and have never made it past 8 weeks. The last m/c was in March 2009 and since then I have been unable to get pregnant. Found out this week that I am finally pregnant (5 weeks) and am beyond terrified. I can't stop checking myself every time I go to the toilet. Every sound, pressure or feeling has me worrying that its the beginning of the end and I'm frightened that I'll talk myself into miscarrying as I'm so sure it's going to happen again. I know nobody can really do anything but reassure me, but it?s nice to know that there are other women out there who feel the same.