Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

Original poster

Mssed miscarriage - pros and cons of D&C vs sitting it out?

29 replies

WreckOfTheHesperus · 07/01/2010 09:39

I found out this week at 8.5 weeks that I had a missed miscarriage - the baby didn't make it past week 7.

I will be 40 this year and it was an IVF / ICSI FET baby. We want to try again as quickly as possible because of my age, and I'm worried that letting nature take it's course might slow things down. I also feel very odd about the idea of continuing to carry and then seeing the foetus.

However, I'm also concerned about the risk of scarring with a D&C.

Any thoughts very welcome - thanks.

OP posts:
MrsGazebo · 07/01/2010 11:54

I'm sorry about your loss. I hope you have a great support network and you're getting lots of TLC

I found out yesterday we had lost our 6th Bean.
I'm going in for a ERPC tomorrow morning.
It will be my 4th one. I'm only speaking from my own experience but I'd vouch for this option every time.
Naturally could possibly take weeks and you shouldn't punish yourself for that long.
I did have an early mc of around 5.5 weeks which I had no intervention, it was like a heavy period but with large clots, no guarantee anything just comes away "complete" not very pleasant to be honest.

I've also been through the tablet option where when taking medication and having a pessary you sit on a ward for up to 6 hours and wait until your uterus contracts and you pass the products (nice!) naturally. Would not recommend!

Having a D&C is quick, painless and physically bearable tbh. It takes approx 30 mins.
Did your hospital not explain the procedure?
There's always a slight risk with every op, but minimal.
D&C is a routine op done daily in hospitals for many reasons.

It's up to you in the end, it's not a pleasant experience no matter which option you choose.
Good luck for next time, keep at it. Xx

Original poster
WreckOfTheHesperus · 07/01/2010 12:11

Thanks Mrs Gazebo; that's really helpful advice.

I'm so sorry for your loss, and aghast that it's your 6th - likewise I hope that you're getting all the support and love that you need to see you through.

OP posts:
sh77 · 07/01/2010 12:40

Hi wreck

So sorry for your loss. I was asking myself the same question in November. I found out at 9 wks that baby stopped growing at 5-6. Second scan confirmed MMC.

I wanted a natural loss because I too was scared of scarring. I waited it out for 3 weeks but it was getting too hard emotionally and I needed to move on from it. I had minimal bleeding in that time. I found myself imagining the worst the longer I left it (over gooling....). I was worried about retained tissue and infection. I then opted for the ERPC. I agree with everything previous posetr said - quick, painless.

D&C is slightly different from ERPC BUT I think people uses these terms interchangeably. The former uses scraping and the secong uses suction. I did not want any scraping and confirmed this before the op.

All the best.

sh77 · 07/01/2010 12:42

Oh I forgot to add - my ERPC was 7 weeks ago and I am still waiting for my period, which is annoying as I want to TTC after 2 periods. My doc advised to wait 2 periods as the uterus lining will be thin after ERPC and needs time to thicken again. Some docs say it is fine to TTC after bleeding from ERPC stops.

BooPen · 07/01/2010 16:29

I am so sorry for your losses Wreck and MrsGazebo.
I had a missed mc first time around (found out at ten weeks that the baby hadn't made it passed 6 weeks)and had an ERPC as I couldn't face wondering every day if that would be 'the day' for things to start.
I have since had 3 more 'natural' mc and would personally go for an ERPC every time given the choice.
Take care of yourself whatever you decide
Boo x

daisytaylor · 07/01/2010 17:51

Hi, so sorry for your loss.
I had a mmc back in october at 9 weeks and opted to go natural. After 4 weeks of heavy bleeding and an incomplete mc and then given the medication misoprostal i bled even heavier for 3 weeks solid and couldn't even leave the house. It took all in all 10 weeks from start to finish and over 6 or 7 scans. I personally would never opt for the natural approach again but also surgery does have its risks but you should do what ever you feel more comfortable with. You could wait for it to happen naturally and will happen quickly or it can be a drawn out process. I hope this helps you make a decision and there is alot of support on here too. All the best x

Original poster
WreckOfTheHesperus · 07/01/2010 17:55

Thanks so much to all for sharing your experiences; these have helped me to decide that I'll probably go down the ERPC route to try to get as quick a physical closure as possible. Am hoping that this will help me deal with it better mentally as well.

OP posts:
FabIsGoingToBeFabIn2010 · 07/01/2010 17:58

I am sorry for your loss.

My advice would be sit it out. I was meant to have a D&C. I would have lost the 4 year old currently playing with his brother.

jocesar · 07/01/2010 19:36

I had an ERPC yesterday after waiting 3 weeks for something to happen naturally. A horrible 3 weeks waiting to haemorrhage. ERPC was quick and mostly painless. I've almost stopped bleeding already. However there is always the worry that they haven't got everything out and that you will need another one.

I was really looking forward to getting 'closure' after the ERPC, but to be honest I still feel pretty glum.

It's such an individual decision- I think it depens on how you cope with the length of time waiting.

confu3ed · 07/01/2010 21:01

I am sorry for your loss, it is not an easy time.

Look at my post 'cannot move on' I did not have a positive experience from my ERPC, well 2 actually and I am still waiting for a period, 6 months after I must have MC.

That said if i had waited it would not have happened naturally at all!

I believe that a D & C is the old procedure but this is not used any more, that is what the doc told me. I had a D & C with my first MC 12 years ago (but strangely did not have these probs then)! I was assured that this procedure (ERPC) is slightly different and improved.

Good luck with it all whatever you decide and just remember you are not alone, many women suffer the same, some say that it is just your body preparing for a healthy pregnancy!

All the best.

kissmummy · 07/01/2010 21:07

hi there. i have had three D+Cs. I was also worried about scarring and so decided to try to avoid a D+C with my last miscarriage. i waited and waited and after a couple of weeks i started spotting slightly but after spotting for a whole week there was no sign of a proper bleed and by then i was really really fed up so i ended up having another D+C anyway. all that waiting and hoping for it to happen naturally meant the whole physical side of things dragged on a lot longer than it need have. So I personally would advise a D+C asap. I'm afraid FabIsGoing 's story is highly, highly unusual and if you've been told for sure your pregnancy is over, then it 99.9pc certainly is over . Obviously if there is any doubt whatsoever that is another matter, but modern technology is pretty good with these things. I am so sorry for your loss, particularly with an IVF baby, that you have fought so hard for

Original poster
WreckOfTheHesperus · 08/01/2010 10:39

Gosh, Fab, how did thiat happen - did they get your dates wrong? It's definitely game over for my one, however; they know the dates for definite becasue of the IVF thing, and they saw blood as well as no heartbeat.

And I told the sonographer what they were going to find, as I knew a couple of days beforehad that it had all gone wrong. I had hot flushes, spots, frog-in-the-throat feeling, violent nightmares and cramping, plus a tiny smear of old blood. My skin felt different, and my tummy went flat (ish).

So no fairy tale ending for me.

So sorry to read your miserable story, Conf3ed, and hope your body sorts itself out soon; I know all about the whole time-pressure thing when TTC. I will be on the watch for anything similar happening to me

jocesar not surprised you still feel glum; guess the whole closure thing will take quite a while, but hopefully the physical bit is sorted now

So sorry that you've been through 3 D&Cs, Kissmummy; life really isn't fair...

OP posts:
FabIsGoingToBeFabIn2010 · 08/01/2010 18:22

No, dates weren't wrong. I conceived twice. Single and twins.

kissmummy · 08/01/2010 22:07

Fab i am amazed at your story. Isn't that, like, a million to one or something? have there been any other such cases that you know of?

PandaEis · 08/01/2010 22:28

hi wreck im so sorry for your loss and for everyone else on here too

i am bleeding from my 6th MC (5 early- 4-6 weeks, 1 later- 14 weeks.) and i would say that i had natural losses with them all, no choice for the early losses and i was fobbed off by the doctors with the 14 week one. i would say that given the choice i would have ERPC with a loss any later than 6-7 week. through my own experience, my later MC was the most horrendous and traumatic experience of my life especially as it dragged on for 6+ weeks after they had told me it was "complete" i ended up with a uterine infection and being treated like a stupid little girl by the GP i was 20 at the time

i dont mean to frighten you in any way there as reading it back it does sound scary it is just that it isnt always the best thing to do to go the natural way and it is a very personal and individual-based decision whether you want to let nature take its course or speed things up and allow yourself to heal and move on without the waiting.

again, i am so very sorry for your loss

FabIsGoingToBeFabIn2010 · 09/01/2010 08:06

kissmummy - lots of people have conceived 2 babies at separate times. I think that I conceived twins and lost one but we all assumed I had had a period then conceived again so while the midwives thought I was 10 days early it transpired I was overdue. My baby had lasting effects of this but is pretty much okay now.

MrsGazebo · 09/01/2010 13:43

Hey wreck how you holding up? [hug emoticon]

Original poster
WreckOfTheHesperus · 09/01/2010 19:46

Hey Mrs Gazebo, first day off work since I found out, so have been pretty weepy. But am thinking that it's good to acknowledge the whole grief thing rather than to block it. I started bleeding yesterday, so am dreading seeing something I'd rather not.

How did your ERPC go? And how are you feeling?

OP posts:
MrsGazebo · 09/01/2010 20:26

I'm ok or rather I will be. Physically fine, just a bit numb emotionally
Not actually had to speak to many peeps yet.
Are you going in for a ERPC?
It went as well as it could for me.
I did ask about scarring and they said it's a very small risk and you'd have to have had a few.
One of the nurses told me "she knows a few ladies that have had up to 5 terminations(?!) had gone on to have a baby" nice! Timing was a little shit to be taking on that info though!

Take it easy, pop some pain killers,eat, drink and relax xx

Original poster
WreckOfTheHesperus · 12/01/2010 14:11

Glad to hear that you're ok physically.

Have just come back from ERPC; at same hospital where we had the IVF in the first place, so rather weird. Consultant was pleased with how it went. So just need to keep on getting my head round it. Am going to take Weds off work too, and just mull it over under the duvet, but am really glad I chose this option - thanks for your advice and support, Mrs G.

OP posts:
clareanna · 12/01/2010 20:44

Hi wreck- I am in the same situation as you -went for 12wk scan this afternoon, but there was no heartbeat and baby died at 10 weeks. Have been having full pregnancy symptoms and am so upset. Gave chosen to have surgical procedure as I don't want to see anything. Plus I have a toddler and don't want to miscarry at home with him. I can't believe how differently my day has gone today - we are devastated.
Take care x

LeninGrad · 12/01/2010 20:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hmmSleep · 12/01/2010 21:15

So sorry to hear all your stories. I found out at my 12 wk scan that I'd had a missed mc at 9/10 wks.

Was due to go in and discuss how to proceed when I mc naturally, this was early October and I only stopped bleeding last week, it's been horrendous, so hard to deal with the emotional side whilst still dealing with the physical. Thankfully I had one final big bleed last week which must have been the end of it.

I wasn't given the choice this time, but if it were to happen again, would definitely go for the ERPC.

Hope all goes OK for you.

hmmSleep · 12/01/2010 21:18

Misread, just seen you opted for the erpc. Hope it wasn't too awful and that you're recovering at least physically, I know it'll take a while to get over emotionally. Take care.

wendywoo2 · 12/01/2010 21:22

I have had 7 miscarriages, all at various stages (8 weeks upto 16 weeks), and all 7 I chose to manage the mc at home, I had no choice with the 16 week one, it was so quick .. I am glad I did this for each one. Even though, every time it is heartbreaking, I think it helps you deal with the loss, and my husband was by my side every time, he's a saint, it helped him realise what I was going through too, as well as him dealing with the loss too.

I would recommend to talk to your partner as much as poss, do not shut yourself off, I did, and luckily, we've come out through the other side, only because my husband is one in a million, and so patient.
Also find someone else who's had a miscarriage, there are unfortunately lots of us. But I find so much comfort in talking to others who have gone through the same, no one else can understand what you are feeling, unless they've been through it too.

Good luck for the future x