Mssed miscarriage - pros and cons of D&C vs sitting it out?

[WreckOfTheHesperus]

I found out this week at 8.5 weeks that I had a missed miscarriage - the baby didn't make it past week 7.

I will be 40 this year and it was an IVF / ICSI FET baby. We want to try again as quickly as possible because of my age, and I'm worried that letting nature take it's course might slow things down. I also feel very odd about the idea of continuing to carry and then seeing the foetus.

However, I'm also concerned about the risk of scarring with a D&C.

Any thoughts very welcome - thanks.

Sorry to hear your stories, Clareanna, Leningrad, wendywoo2 and hmmsleep. It's such a shocking thing to happen, and in retrospect I am amazed at my ignorance about such a common occurrence.

I seriously thought that miscarriage was very sudden and quick - on the TV it always seems to involve a woman falling downstairs,lots of blood, and then it's all over. I had never heard of the idea of it dragging on for weeks and weeks, or having to have contractions to miscarry fully.

Thanks for the warning on getting periods again, Leningrad. I am trying to steel myself for this not to happen for ages, as my periods were very irregular anyway.

Sorry to hear all your stories I too have just had a mmc confirmed (although knew it was likely from scan last week) I am 8+1 today but also had a mc in May last year (20+5). I am sitting it out at the moment but will probably have an ERPC next Friday.........although having read some of your comments I am thinking I might see if I can have it sooner!

Big hugs to everyone.

I had a MM in 2004. Started with brown discharge so went to hosp and they scanned me as I was 12 weeks.

Baby had died at 5/6 weeks but my body had not 'realised' until 12 weeks.
Was offered D&C etc but was so shocked decided to go home. They also said there wouldn't really be anything 'to see' so if this was what I wanted to do they were happy for me to go home.
Pretty much as soon as the reality hit me (had been home about an hour) my body let the baby go and there was indeed something 'to see' which I wasn't prepared for, but equally wouldn't have wanted them to remove it either iyswim?

It is very distressing and so difficult to decide how you want to manage it.

WreckOfTheHesperus, just to let you know, it doesn't have to take weeks if you manage the mc at home. The hospital can give you some medication which makes your body open the cervix and pass the baby out (makes you have contractions). This usually happens within the next 12 to 24 hours of taking the medication.
Also, my periods every time, returned back to normal straight away, I was having a period again within 3 to 4 weeks of having the mc's.

I think everyone is different.

I'm a believer in letting your body do what it needs to do, it'll get itself back to normal sooner if it has to pass the baby without medical intervention..... but who am I to say what's best for each individual?!

Hope that helps a little? x