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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

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Original poster

I am waiting to miscarry - for the second time in a row

62 replies

luckywinner · 16/07/2009 16:26

I am pregnant again straight after a mc on 1st May. Had an early scan two weeks ago which put me at 5-6 weeks as was unsure of my dates. Saw a strong heartbeat and left feeling happy and reassured.

I had another one today and it wasn't so good. The baby had grown in line with dates but it had a really weak heartbeat. Even I could see the difference. The scan lady said usually in situations like this a miscarriage happens.

I am so sad. I can't believe I am having another miscarriage. And even if it is still there next week then surely a weak heartbeat is not good news with regards to the health of the baby.

I don't know really know why I am posting this. I know there is nothing to say. I am just sad. Sad, sad, sad.

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SOLOisMeredithGrey · 26/07/2009 12:14

I haven't read all the posts on this thread as I will end up crying my heart out for you all, and I just can't do the feeling that sad right now, though I do feel sad for you all...

My first pg ended in a MMC and because my cervix was closed and I was bleeding and so ill, I had an ERPC. As sad and as emotionally painful as that procedure was, I'm glad of it now; you see, some 9 years later, I had another MC and have the terrible memory of my baby sliding down my leg into the plughole of the shower and because he was only a 6 week pg, that was my last memory of him. An ERPC is fairly quick and painless in the physical sense.

Whatever happens for you all, I truly hope you feel well soon. I hope and pray those heartbeats pick up speed and grow and for those with no further hope, I wish you speedy recoveries and healthy future babies. And I hope I have not upset anyone.

fran28 · 28/07/2009 01:43

hey...just need to talk to people who know what im going through...was told last week im having a miscarriage ..this will be my 3rd since last august...im still waiting for it to happen...i cant believe this is happening again...have to get my hcg levels checked wednesday..they were were only 70 last week...i feel so useless...i cant even do anything until this is all over! not even gonna try again after this...its too much for me...why cant it just happen so i can get on with things!

chubbymummy · 28/07/2009 13:00

Fran, so sorry to hear that you are going through this too. Hope things move quickly for you. I'm also at the point of wondering if we should just stop trying, it's a lot to go through both emotionally and physically. I had the ERPC yesterday and feel totally drained now (although this time was quicker than last time and I have less bleeding I have to say). Thinking of booking a holiday in the next few weeks to just relax and recover.

maisiemoo · 28/07/2009 18:36

Just wanted to add my post - don't post very often but today has been arubbish day and it has helped to read what so many others are going through.

I've just been for a nuchal scan (bit of an old bird me at 41) and as soon as we saw the little bean, realised there was no bouncing heartbeat. Baby died at 10.5 weeks.

Yesterday I had fab appt with my lovely consultant and midwife who promised to take care of me and dh and I were actually allowing ourselves to get a little bit excited. Have waited 7 years for this pg, since my beautiful daughter was born. This was our little miracle and now it's gone.

Before dd, I had 2 mcs at 6 and 12 weeks so we are old hands, but it doesn't get easier. The emptiness is horrible and knowing I have a still life inside of me is heart-breaking. The only positives I can take from this is that every time I've had an ERPC/D&C before I've fallen pg straight after (I had a cone biopsy for cinIII end March and was pg by mid May) and the consultant this morning told us that with the blood markers I had already had done our Downs risk was at 1 in 15 - so maybe this little bean just wasn't strong enough...

Hope you don't mind me hijacking this thread for a bit of release. It's been a rubbish afternoon and am waiting for my dd to come home for some much needed hugs (without tears as she doesn't know anything!).

Thx - and my heart goes out to you all who are going through it. Sending Hugs. x

chubbymummy · 28/07/2009 19:24

welcome to the club maisiemoo (obviously it's a club we'd all prefer not to be in). Just wanted to send you a {{{{big hug}}}} and let you know I'm thinking of you. x

maisiemoo · 28/07/2009 20:51

Thx for the thoughts chubbymummy. Hope you're doing Ok and feeling stronger every day. I'm always amazed and grateful at the support you can get from Mumsnet. It's a fantastic place to be a Mum.

Original poster

luckywinner · 28/07/2009 21:09

Fran, I am sorry you are on this thread. It is a horrible club to be in but also great in the fact that you are not alone in this horrible experience.

Maisiemoo, I am really sorry to hear your news. This was also my third mc and although I haven't fallen apart like I did the first one I am finding it so incredibly sad and I have very raw emotions. I am glad you have found this thread. When do you have your erpc? I hope it all goes ok.

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fran28 · 28/07/2009 21:40

thanks for yer thoughts...i feel a lot better knowing im not alone with this but i am sorry that ye are going through this too...getting my hcg levels checked tomorrow..i know they wont be able to tell me any good news..but cant help hoping a small bit!

Original poster

luckywinner · 28/07/2009 21:57

I spent the whole week hoping in between scans that maybe I would be the 1 in 1000 who would be lucky. Hope is human nature. Good luck for tomorrow. Let us know how you get on.

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fran28 · 29/07/2009 16:09

hey...hospital just rang me my levels have gone up to 350 since last wednesday, have to go back up tomorrow for another blood test and a scan...i dont know what to think or expect now!

Original poster

luckywinner · 29/07/2009 19:11

Oh Fran, what a rollercoaster. What time is your scan and appointment? Please let me know how you get on. Will be thinking of you tomorrow. Fingers and toes crossed.

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fran28 · 29/07/2009 20:49

Thanks so much luckywinner...i must go be up at the hospital at 10...god i hope they give me answers tomorrow...im actually exhausted from it all!

fran28 · 29/07/2009 21:00

luckywinner...i only just read how it turned out for you.....oh my god...how are you doing?

Original poster

luckywinner · 29/07/2009 21:36

I think the waiting around is the hardest part.
Am ok, sometimes tearful, sometimes ok. I'll get there in the end.
Lots of luck tomorrow.

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fran28 · 30/07/2009 13:15

hey..they didnt do a scan or a blood test today....the doctor doesnt even know why they had me come up today..have to go back up tomorrow for a blood test and a scan...looks like its either a molar or an eptopic pregnancy..there is a small chance it could be okay....but i doubt it very much! i wish this was all over with..cant take much more of this!

fran28 · 30/07/2009 13:21

sorry ectopic i meant

maisiemoo · 30/07/2009 19:22

Sorry - just read this back - can't seem to write short!
Home from hosp this afternoon - erpc yesterday afternoon but ended up having to stay in. They did offer alternatives but having read some of the stories of what MNers have been through I got scared and went the surgical route. I couldn't sit at home and let my 7 yo dd watch me go through that.

It's wierd - I've felt very 'nesty' since I came home - cleaned the house, stripped the beds, cooked dinner and watched a film on the sofa with dd - normally I just flake out after GA. No tears yet since Tuesday. Life goes on I suppose...

DH is desperately trying to book something in the sun now - we were camping in Devon for 2 weeks but this week has changed our minds - bring on the lazing about!

Fran - really hope you get a decision soon - it seems a long time to hang about, but then I guess if there's even the slightest chance...Thinking of you.

Thanks to all for your support. Sad times are made easier with frienship (even over the ether!).

fran28 · 31/07/2009 20:52

hey how is everyone?....i dont how ye can be so strong, my head is wrecked from all this....still dont know whats happening...hcg level is up from 360 to 500 in 2 days but should be higher...have to go back again next week...ectopic is still a maybe...im so fed up...

Original poster

luckywinner · 31/07/2009 21:01

Fran, believe me, I am not strong. But I have been through what I think is the worst bit, the waiting. It is no wonder you are feeling wrecked. You poor thing, hope one minute, despair the next. Keep coming back here, I will keep checking up on you.

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maisiemoo · 01/08/2009 06:47

Fran, Not sure if I'd call it strength - I think some of it has come from being able to download on here. Typing stuff down seems to to rationalise it for me somehow. But then I'm not still waiting.

Hang in there.. and keep typing. Thinking of you.

georgimama · 01/08/2009 07:12

Hello, this looks like a nice corner of MN. so sorry for what you have all been going through. I have been off MN for a while having (why oh why) joined the Feb 2010 antenatal thread and then MC a few days later in June. I was nearly seven weeks. This is after another MC at seven ish weeks two days before Christmas.

I have darling DS and I desperately want another child but tbh, not even having gone through anything like the traumas some of you have, I don't know if I can actually face getting pregnant again.

Original poster

luckywinner · 01/08/2009 22:03

Hi Georgimama. I did exactly the same and tentatively joined the Feb thread. You poor thing. How are you feeling now? I feel exactly the same about getting pregnant again. But to me at the mo it is very raw so I am going to give it a while. How about you?

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georgimama · 01/08/2009 22:11

No, there is no way we want to try again yet. I think DH would if I wanted to but I can't face it. I don't know in all honesty if I ever will want to. He is being fab and we are making some long term plans which are a good distraction - especially as they could quite easily not accomodate any further children - we are very thinking of ourselves as a unit of three.

I had to tell work about this second one because I couldn't face going to work the day after it happened - they were very sweet and sent me flowers. They didn't know about the first, no one did except me and DH. So now they think I'm going to announce I'm pregnant again and flounce off on maternity leave any minute.

Two on the trot like that must have been horrific. I think I am going to wait six months before I even think about whether to try again or not.

fran28 · 03/08/2009 21:56

hey ... hospital rang me today...have to go back up for another blood test...levels have gone up again...from 500 to 730..i really dont know where i am...im going insane! oh and thanks so much for all yer support..i think thats prob whats keeping me sane!

Original poster

luckywinner · 03/08/2009 22:18

Great that your levels have gone up Fran. Is your appointment tomorrow? I really really hope its good news. Let us know how it goes. Lots of fingers and toes crossed here.

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