Ups and downs of grief...

[deanychip]

Are getting on my nerves now.

sigh.

am ok for a moment, then if i think, even jsut a tiny bit about it all, i fill up with floods.

Went to the Docs this morning, and couldnt stop crying. had been ok up till that point.

only needed him to write me a sick note fgs.

No one to talk to about this in rl.

no one interested anyway.

Hi WaspyLady

Commiserations over the VAT return, am avoiding doing one currently!

I'm so sorry to hear about the MC. I had one 5 weeks ago. I had a scan straight after all the bleeding and they said didn't need to do the EPRC. Then 3 weeks later had a follow up scan to discover that the bleeding hadn't got rid of everything so I had to have the op after all as the womb lining was too thick.

So I would have the op, means you can draw a line underneath it all and helps you cope better.

The op was ok and not as bad as I thought. Just take a good book or trashy mag to read whilst you wait.

We MNers are always here to help
x

Hi Popsy,

I'm sorry you're having a tough time. I know exactly what you mean about the difficulties of seeing kids whose parents don't care... between them and the pregnant 14-year-olds I'm made to teach, it's a wonder I don't go mad, sometimes. I remember struggling all last spring with the feeling that I should be on maternity leave instead of at work... that has gone now, as I'd be back at work no matter what. I found the best way to cope with the loss of interest was to just show up and do what I could, and hope that was enough. It was still difficult and enormously draining, but it eased some of the pressure.

Hope this week has gotten a little better as it went on. Any news on your friend? How are you getting on?

xxxx

Hi all how is everyone?hope you are all having a good week.
hi Jessilynn how r things with you? I'm feeling a bit brighter now. I've had a good couple of days (good being no tears or that hideous feeling inside). Think you're right re work. I used to love work, but I've jus lost motivation, makes the day seem very long. I'm hoping it'll come back!
Bumped into my friend on way home, still no sign of their baby. Not sure how I'll feel when the baby arrives. Really hope I can be happy for them n hope it doesn't knock me backwards. I keep thinking our children would av been so close in age and is it going to be a constant reminder of how our little boy would be iykwim. I'm hoping they will have a girl and that'll make it slightly easier.

It's really good to chat to you. Let me know howthings are with you all.

Lots of love xx

Hi Popsy,

I had a couple good days, too, but crashed today... Today was my Godson's 1st birthday. Normally I'm fine around him, and his mum and dad are great about it on those few occasions when I'm not. I just couldn't help thinking that my little boy would have been only a couple months younger than him, and they should have been playing together and in a few months, celebrating my son's birthday. I wasn't prepared for the sadness and jealousy to show up today, and I didn't feel I could step outside to have a good cry like I wanted.

I feel a bit guilty for still carrying on like this, a year + gone. Maybe it's because I'm no longer with my baby's father, and haven't found a new partner and am not ttc, I don't know. Sorry for all the complaining.

I think your motivation will return, little by little. It sort of sneaks up on you when you're not paying it any mind, IME. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you that your friend has a girl... I think you're right, that would make things a little easier.

Love,
Jessi

Hi Jessielynn. How are you feeling now the birthday party is over?

Thats the part i think i'm going to struggle with, in regards to my friend. Our babies would have been 2 1/2 months apart and i think its going to be really difficult seeing their baby, knowing our baby should have been here to play together and grow up together.

Hows every one else doing?
Take care. XX