Me again - how got my blood test back

[wasabipeanut]

Ok. Apparently I have an HCG count of 46 days. I am testing again Friday to see if it rises or falls. Obv if the later its game over.

However, to stop myself going out of my mind in the meantime I want to check something, and yes I am prob clutching at straws.

My scan said growth looked like 6 weeks. My blood test says 6 + 4. Surely, given that I should now be 8 weeks, if I did have a mmc at 6 weeks then my HCG level would have started to drop back from that point and should now be reading at least under 42 days?

Really hope there is someone that knows how HCG levels work out there this afternoon!

Oh veryworried I'm so sorry for your loss. I think the orange blossom tree was a lovely idea and I hope that you can draw some comfort from it and the fact that, your ordeal is over.

I do know what you mean about not knowing what to do with yourself. At the weekend dh kept ds out of my hair but when I was alone in the house I just didn't know what to do other than cry. I guess because I was at home with my ds yesterday and today I have had to focus on him and that has helped. I've found myself giggling with him which has been lovely. He's napping now hence me checking in.

Daynee - I'm sorry that you've had to endure this several times. Tbh, if I didn't have my ds I would be on the couch, in bed or at the bar as you describe. Go easy on yourself.

Hangingbelly - if youa re around, how was your scan yesterday? I hope everything is ok with you x

Well I am booked for a scan tomorrow (in the maternity ward which will confirm the obvious. I started to bleed yesterday afternoon and it has continued today but it isn't that heavy and I don't have any cramping. I don't know if it will start any minute or not. I would prefer not to have a D&C but then I also want this to be over. Don't know what to do

wasabi i have been following your situation on this thread - so sorry, i know how you feel it happened to me just before xmas. Not sure if this is any help to you but.. i started bleeding very lightly on the tuesday and epu scanned me on wed telling me the baby had died. I then booked the erpc for the monday. I continued very light bleeding till thursday and then it stopped completely over the weekend. I also had had vitually no cramping - only the tiniest amount on the wednesday. I had the ERPC on the monday and they said there was very little there! it appears i miscarried naturally over the tues/wed/thurs. My HCG blood results confirmed that too. I just wanted you to know that it isn't always loads of blood or pain, it can also be very little of either! i'm now a month since my miscarriage, and it does start to feel less raw - i guess i'm now focussing on the future and awaiting my first AF. I hope it works out for you whichever way you choose to handle it

Hey veryworried - what I meant by blood work was that I'm getting a whole bunch of blood tests for different clotting mutations - it's the whole recurrent miscarriage workup. I've already had an HSG which is the scan of the uterus and everyting was fine. I just had another hcg since my mc and the levels are back down so now I wait a few weeks to have the workup done...

I concur on the movie-watching and "gloopy" cheese. I love movies - actually I love horror movies especially (for some strange reason). I love to cook pasta, chicken parmesan, and pizza (as I'm Italian) so I certainly love cheese.

I don't feel much like talking to anyone either and I have to force myself to make small talk at work and to call a few of my friends so I can listen to everyone else's "dramatic" lives (not so dramatic). I really don't see why I can't just hibernate for a few months - what's so wrong with that...other than I'd probably lose my job!! On top of the job I'm working on finishing up a master's degree and have to write my research paper. I keep putting it off. I so wish someone else could just whip it up for me.

They see keep busy and such but I find that the only thing that really keeps my mind off of it all is being at home with my dh, hanging out, drinking wine , or what not. Being at work is actually worse even though my mind is busier...You know what it is - work is not an escape...it's reality. Ugh.

wasabi - what happened at your scan this morning, how are you?
hangingbelly, i know i have seen on some thread that your scan was good but now i cant find it. please tell me i am not imagining it and one of us has good news!
not a good day today, very angry and kicking things. shouted at dh who is upstairs on verge of tears.

Hi veryworried - thanks for asking about me. Scan was confirmation of the obvious - still dated as about 5.5 weeks so going backwards now. Apparently the sac has started to collapse and given that I have been bleeding since Monday I guess that figures.

I'm feeling ok - the raw grief was last week and Saturday especially when my blood test confirmed it was all over. I feel more optimistic about the future now and have started to think about ways I can be proactive about the next time. I am thinking about trying hypnotherapy or something to try to relax and feel positive about trying to concieve and the early stages of hopefully a next pregnancy.

I do understand you anger - that was my predominant emotion on Saturday. It had a similar effect on my dh as well. He was in tears saying that he couldn't bear to see me this angry but I couldn't help it. It has started to get better though. I was at home with my ds on Mondy and Tuesday and yelling at him would have been unbearable so I sort of had to calm down really.

I hope that you start to heal soon x

Hi Wasabi and veryworried - things are ok with me for now, the scan on Monday said 5w6days and they saw a heartbeat but I thought (although don't know dates) that I was a bit further along than that so I guess time will tell. It's hard not to think the worst when you've been through it before. I am thinking of you both and know the whole range of emotions you are going through, don't let anyone tell you that because it was early it's just like having a period or it never was a baby or some such crap (I heard all of these things)- each pregnancy comes with dreams and expectations and you are allowed to mourn your loss. Strength and love to you both and all of the others out there going through similar pain.

Hangingbelly thank you so much for your kind words. I am so relieved that all is well for you at the moment x

Hangingbelly - Congrats on the good scan. I know it's so hard to be really excited because you keep thinking the worst. That is something no one has the cure for. We try to keep ourselves busy and that's all we can do. Will you be getting weekly scans? At least that will give you peace of mind each week instead of waiting weeks and weeks not knowing.

Wasabi and veryworried - How are you all doing? I can't recall if you wrote about any sort of investigations by your docs? I read so many posts that I lose track - my apologies. I was just wondering where you're at as far as knowing any potential causes, and what do you think you'll do next?

I am just agonizing over this waiting....Is it Friday yet? Then I know for sure at least the weekend will zoom by! I pray pray pray that we find something wrong because then we can fix it (hopefully) instead of being told it's just darn bad luck and then what?!

My thoughts are with you guys and I hope you're feeling ok today. I think it always helps to be around some funny people because laughing is fantastic...

Ny news yet daynee?
No i wont have any investigations as it is my first mc. I hope you find some answers but if it is just bad luck then that sort of implies you will have some good luck some time
Wasabi - you surviving? i am still off work but i think i should really go back tomorrow. i think that really this has provoked grieving about my father and that is why not coping so well. hope you are ok...
and good luck to hangingbelly
x