Me again - how got my blood test back

[wasabipeanut]

Ok. Apparently I have an HCG count of 46 days. I am testing again Friday to see if it rises or falls. Obv if the later its game over.

However, to stop myself going out of my mind in the meantime I want to check something, and yes I am prob clutching at straws.

My scan said growth looked like 6 weeks. My blood test says 6 + 4. Surely, given that I should now be 8 weeks, if I did have a mmc at 6 weeks then my HCG level would have started to drop back from that point and should now be reading at least under 42 days?

Really hope there is someone that knows how HCG levels work out there this afternoon!

veryworried really hoping that the scan goes ok

Wasabi - hope the time passes ok until you get the results x

Hurrah!!!!!!!!!!!!
little bighter still there, heart beating and growing. no explanation of what all the blood and cramps are about but because of them, last dodgy scan, hcg not rising properly have been told is 50/50 and that i must retire to my bed. i cant believe it.
next hcg on monday.
Wasabi- fingers crossed for saturday. when is your next scan?
Hangingbelly and heebees - thank you! blimey really shows there is always hope!

veryworriedme thats great news congratulations xx

Hooray!! Veryworried that's such good news. Your bean is clearly a figher.

Get my blood test result tomorrow am and then I guess if it hasn't dropped a scan next week.

Now get thee to bed and rest woman!

x

Veryworried! such good news, what a clever little thing hanging in there and still with a little heart beating away. Reminds me very much of my 3rd pregnancy - I really had given up hope and had such a lot of bleeding but she managed to stay and is now an annoying lovely 4 year old. Hope it all settles down and make sure you rest a bit too.

Wasabi - still thinking of you and hoping they'll be some good news for you too.

Well I'm afraid its all over for me. Got my test results earlt this morning and although my HCG levels have gone up by a tiny amount it's nowhere near what it shoudl be considering the 3 day gap between tests. I guess this is why I haven;t miscarried yet - my hormones are still going up for some wierd reason.

I have to have a scan on Mon/Tue to confirm and then will prob have D & C as I just want it over with now.

Cried all morning, dh has taken ds to soft play to give me some time on my own but now I'm here I don't know what to do.

Even though I knew, deep down that this was coming I didn't think it was possible to feel so much pain, sadness and anger all in one go. I just don't know what to do with myself

sorry to hear this wasabi

take care of yourself.

wasabi - a dear friend miscarried last year and told me she had cried more than she would ever have imagined possible. So sorry you are going through this. [sad[

Actually all I want to do is get really drunk. I just want to make it go away.

Could you ring a mate or mum or sister to be with you? Do you think if you went to bed you might be able to sleep for a bit?

Northern, I can see why you'd say that but I sort of just want to be on my own at the moment. I might try and sleep. We'll see. Thanks for your support x

A cup of tea never does any harm either - take care.

some one on MN suggested planting something to remember your db...it has taken me 2 years and a succesful pregnancy for me to this...

Wasabi , so so sorry to hear your news today. I wished so hard it could be different from you. I am thinking of you want to offer you any support I can. xxx

Wasabi, i am so sorry to hear your news and
I am sorry i was not in touch yesterday - i spent an awful day in 2 hospitals. after my jubilant message i spent the whole night in unbelievable pain with a lot more blood. the next morning i decided to go to a&E as i just had to know. after a few hours of endless tests they finally said they would not be able to scan as their dept was closed but that it didnt look good. so i went to hospital no 2 where i went through the same tests again but with a scan at the end. no heart beat. i am booked back for monday to decide what which course to take. i have to be the most scanned person out there but i am going to go back to the private scan place first thing monday just to double check. i know that is ridiculous but i couldnt face having the op with any doubt at all.
Wasabi, i know just how you feel. i came back from the hospital and drank 2 glasses of wine in quick succession and then passed out. today, i have no idea what to do. i dont want to do anything and the thought of just going back to normal, not being pregnant, is awful. I think my endless scanning is about trying to feel like i am doing something as i couldnt bear the wait.
I am really sorry for you wasabi, i do hope the scan contradicts the other signs but i think you are right not to hope against hope as i have done (and still appear to be doing!). xx

Oh veryworried I'm so terribly sorry to hear that. I do understand your desire to have a scan just to make sure.

In my case I know for a fact that I am no longer pregnant - the blood tests just confirmed what I knew in my heart of hearts. I haven't "felt" pregnant since before Xmas -I knew something was wrong. Yesterday I finally had it confirmed.

Go easy on yourself today - I must have spent 75% of yesterday crying. Maybe have some more wine - it helped me to sleep!

Thinking of you at this horrible time x

veryworried - so sorry to hear your news. I do understand your need to be re-scanned,they may well tell you don't need to do anything anyway as things seem to be progressing naturally. This is all so heartbreaking and I am thinking of you and wasabi too. Be kind to yourself, take time and try to put yourselves first.

veryworried and wasabi - i'm so, so sorry . I'm 2 months down the line now, and I can remember what it was like all too clearly. I'm thinking of you both.

Because the cramps and bleeding eased up last night, unbelievably i was still hoping the scan would show a heart beat. However this morning i had a few cramps and felt something was wrong. i then miscarried. i had the appointment at the hospital who scanned and said my womb was empty. my dh, who has been incredible throughout, and i bought a mexican orange blossom (apparantly even i,terminator of all things green and fragrant, cannot kill it)and buried our baby under it. it started hailing immediately after and i worried that it would feel abandoned and cold. i feel very empty..... but i am glad that i did not have to wait. strangely as soon as it happened a part of me (certainly physically) felt better.
this last week has been hell but all the messages and the ability to talk freely here has made it just about bearable. thank you wasabi, hanging belly, heebees, fozzy and cazzy - i hope to be in touch with all of you again. wasabi, i will be checking in anyway to hear how you are doing.
xxx

Wasabipeanut and veryworriedme, have been following this thread and I just wanted to tell both of you how very sorry I am,

veryworried and wasabiahhhhh Im so sorry to hear your news its so so sad and I really feel for you both.

Thinking of you, take care xxx

so sorry to hear your news worriedme - I miscarried naturally a few years back and it was quite a shocking process, I don't think anyone prepared me for the fact that there would be a visable pregnancy sac. I'm so glad that you managed to save your little one and I'm sure the plant will be lovely. I know you must be in state of shock at the moment, take your time and look after yourself. Here if you want to talk xxx

Wasabi - so sorry as well to hear that you've had it all confirmed, am thinking of you. xxx

Wasabi & veryworried - I'm so sorry that all this is happening. I just went through almost the same exact thing as you veryworried. In my last (and 3rd) mc just about 3 weeks ago, I started bleeding and after a week went for a scan to see if it grew and hurray - it did! My hubbie and I were ecstatic. I figured I was just one of those women who would bleed during the pregnancy. But it was too good to be true because I started to miscarry the next day.

This is terrible and it sucks and since then I've been drinking my fair share of wine but anything to help me get through the days until I can get all my blood work done and then wait and wait some more for the results.

How are you guys doing with everyday life? I think I'm not doing so well lately. I thought getting right back to work and school would be fine since I'd be busy and such but all I seem to want to do is be at home in my bed or on the couch, or at the bar! It's been really difficult for me and I feel like a terribly lazy person right now. Everyone tells me just keep busy, everything will be fine, focus on work. What? How? I don't even want to be here!

Someone please tell me they have had these same feelings!

Again, I'm sorry and please keep talking because it helps. What did you guys do today?

Hi Daynee
Well as you can see from the fact i am back on mn first thing in the morning, i dont really know what to do with myself either. work have been great and are all covering for me but given i normally spend a huge part of my time at work i dont know how to structure my day. i dont actually want to go back to work because i dont want to have to talk to anyone but at least it would distract me. i know i should go off and do nice things but it would feel odd. for once in my life i have no desire to go clothes shopping. plus i am still beeding quite a bit. i dont want to see my friends who are at home in the week as they all of course have children and are looking after them. i suppose if this happens when you have children you are forced to get on with things and cant wallow. i had a few glasses of wine yesterday but then felt rubbish, i suppose because i have become quite used to feeling sparkling and detoxed.
well i guess having a shower is the first step and then i might try and do my tax return!
is this grieving?
what do you mean about getting your blood work done and further tests? i am booked in again on the 4th - is that just to check that everything has gone and that have negative pregnancy test?
if you have not been to the cinema then you should go and see slumdog millionaire and the reader. at least it distracts for a few hours. all i have left to see is bride wars. such is my dh's concern he said he could probably face it if need be.
Here is my potential list of things to do (apart from drinking) that we couldnt do when pregnant :-

1. have teeth whitened
2. have sunbed
3. eat lots of gloopy cheese
4. have aromatherapy massage (although perhaps risk of crying, oh yes and not really possible when still wearing something resembling a nappy)

any further suggestions welcome. someone on one thread said she went out and bought loads of good food and started focusing on being superhealthy for next time. ok, i am really rambling now. shower time. xx