what is going to happen next? so scared!!!

[barbie1]

After waiting a whole 2 weeks for nature to take its course i had to go to hospital today as the sac was still present and and hadnt passed anything. I was offered the d&c op but just couldnt face it, i think the word suction got to me, i didnt want my baby just sucked out of me so i opted for the tablet approach, only now im panicking, what will come out, will i see the baby? does it hurt, what do i do with it once its out? sorry so many questions but im soooo worried now and maybe think the op would of been better, anyone else had this please help!!!

hi harro gosh working full time is soooo tiring forgot how much it takes it out of you! Had a tense moment today with my area manager who asked whether "my little problem had been dealt with because i have had to much time off!" bitch nearly walked out but couldnt see the door for the tears!
Apart from that all is ok, body seems to be normal, no aches, pains or blood, so fingers crossed i have got away with it lightly and im on the mend...
Im glad you survived all the kids, its hard not to be teary though isnt it, i torture myself by looking in every pram that passes the counter in work! If sil gets the job it means loads of freebies, shame its in oz though eh? Hope you enjoy the rest of the week x

Hi Barbie,
what a cow your area manager, some people can be so insensitive and lets just hope she never has to go through it, she would understand then!!!!! I am knackered just having done a bit more this week so god knows what will be like next week back at work. Glad you are back to normal body wise, hopefully I have stopped bleeding now and am feeling pretty ok. my friend came today with her 6 month old, she was the one who got me broody in the first place and it was lovely to see her and it did get me broody again. Didn't feel sad just wanting to try again which is good.
sil goes to Oz at xmas, will ask her to start making me up freebie packages if she gets the job. another person to holiday out there with is the advantage - a lot of dh family out there. really feeling back to old self now and glad I took the time off work to get to feeling like this. Hope you have had an ok end of week. are you doing house stuff this weekend? when does your dh go away? take care xx

carole that all sounds horrendous. I am very glad I went for the surgical management. hope you and your partner are strting to feel bit better, I can't imagine what that must have been like. take care of yourselves

harro just when all looked good with me i have had a bad few days.....constant headache for the previous 3 days and niggely pains in my belly, right where my cyst was..it feels like bedding in pains during the first few weeks of being pregnant only this time i know it isnt ...
I also lost it big time yesterday, i have been overlooked for promotion from cow boss lady because of my attendence record over last month with mc! i have done the job that i would of been promoted too for a few years while in london on a much larger scale so i know i can do it, also when we relocated i took the step down after being promised the promotion as soon as it came up grrrrrrr To top it all i have to train the new person because she has no idea about the job or the company! rant over!
I think for the last 3 months since getting bfp i have been bottling up all my feelings, from day one i knew things werent right but there was always another week to wait, another scan, another appointment etc to get through and then after the op two weeks ago i had to deal with real life, a possible move, selling the house and hubby going away so i carried on but yesterday work was so quiet i had time to think and it hit me like a ton of bricks....i do feel better now its out though, and today im sat relaxing eating a chocolate muffin yummy! hubby not going until 12th oct so i have him a little longer....i think we will do more house stuff on sunday but its nearly finished whoopie!
I hope you do get lots of freebies, if you ever fancy any estee laudere goodies let me know and ill post you off a little package, just to thankyou for all your lovely chats and support!
Im glad you feel up to trying again, i have just read that another lady has just got a bfp 17 days after mc, so there is hope! thanks again lovely lady for taking time to read this, big hugs xxx

Hi Barbie, felt really guilty when I saw your message cos I have not been on since fri. Hope you are ok, it sounds like you needed to let it all out and hopefully that will help you to be one step closer to getting back to 'normal'. It's amazing how we bottle things up and protect ourselves from feeling the sadness that we do need to feel. I think sometimes the middle eastern women who you see on the telly when they have lost a loved one get it right as they scream and wail and probably 'feel better' quicker.

That's awful about missing the promotion and really unfair, has this boss got any children? she sounds like one of these women who has forgone having a family to have a career and resents anyone who tries to do both. Apologies to her if she does have kids but that makes it even worse as she should understand.

Would love to keep in touch and hopefully through the more happier times which I know will happen soon - here is my email so we can keep in contact better - [email protected].

You have helped me and our chats have really helped so thankyou as well. Hope we can keep in touch by normal email.
Take care of you xxx

Got your email saved, when i get a nice quiet period i will sit and email you, thankyou so much x