what is going to happen next? so scared!!!

[barbie1]

After waiting a whole 2 weeks for nature to take its course i had to go to hospital today as the sac was still present and and hadnt passed anything. I was offered the d&c op but just couldnt face it, i think the word suction got to me, i didnt want my baby just sucked out of me so i opted for the tablet approach, only now im panicking, what will come out, will i see the baby? does it hurt, what do i do with it once its out? sorry so many questions but im soooo worried now and maybe think the op would of been better, anyone else had this please help!!!

It was my first pregnancy that resulted in my missed miscarriage (found out at our 12 wk scan). I was also told that you can find it easier to get pregnant following a miscarriage.
Also I was told that you're more likely to miscarry your first pregnancy. As I mentioned in my previous posting I got pregnant quickly after my miscarriage (had taken about 2 yrs to get pregnant the first time), I had one period between the miscarriage & conception of my son.

thankfully its over now, went back to hospital yesterday and after such a bad experience with the tablets i decided on a d&c, its want nice waiting all day for the op as im such a chicken when it comes to these sorts of this and i must admit to nearly running out of the hospital when they came to collect me! but im home now and hopefully on the mend...i had to stay in over night due to low blood pressure etc so im looking forward to my own bed....thankyou for all your support hopefully we will have better things to talk about soon xxx

Hi Barbie,
I hope you are feeling some sort of ok, i feel a bit of closure knowing things are sorted and I can move on now. There are so many people who have gone through this I have now found out and the vast majority have gone on to have successful pregnancies after so dont worry. Hope you are feeling as ok as I am after the op, just a few niggles but nothing major.
take care and thinking of you, it's a bit horrible but it does feel better to know you are not alone and others are going through the same thing
take care xxxx

thankyou harro39, im fine, keep thinking i should be in pain or something but apart from my whole body aching probably due to lack of sleep and stress im fine...im finding mn such a comfort at the moment, i can go from happy to sad and back again in no time at all after reading all the other post.....how long since your op if you dont mind me asking? take care xxx

Hi Barbie,
had op on Tuesday 10am. have no physical pain today, started bleeding again last night but nothing major. Feel an emotional wreck today - realised have been feeling very angry with people over other things when really it was all about this and i think realising this has kicked in the sadness. you take care and rest it will take a while but things will get easier and i'm sure you will have happier things to post about soon xxxx

Hi Barbie and harro 39, Have just read your thread and I'm so sorry. What an awful week for you both . I just wanted to tell you that a D&C may help. I've had 5 mcs. After mc 2 I had a D&C and conceived DS within 3 months and he arrived after a fairly problem free pregnancy. I've had 3 mcs since and with my last one I had a D&C and have conceived again after having only one AF. I am now 7 weeks ( still early days for me) People have said that having a D&C can help your chances of conceiving and carryng sucessfully. Whether that is based on proper medical fact I don't know but I'm hoping its true. A friend told me that a midwife said this to her. So all the best to you both. You'll get there.

thanks helen,
that is a comfort and from your expeirence it does seem to work. can't imagine how strong you must be to have gone through this so many times and keep going. I wish you all the luck for this pregnancy, take care of yourself xxxxx

same here ladyhelen, its nice to here positive stories and congrats on your pregnancy. Like you harro39 im bleeding too today, came as a bit of a shock because it happened in b&q i felt something go whoosh and it came flooding out, thankfully dh was with me and we got home fairly quickly, i also have been feel really angry at everything, the dog, the husband...everything! come on over to the thread emmys angels its such a nice place to be and sooooo much support from everyone, hope you are ok, thinking of you xxx

Hi barbie, how are you doing today, hope the bleeding has settled down. How are you feeling? I ended up at gp's yesterday as had bad cramps, she put me on anti b's just in case anything left up there although she had a good look and couldn't see anything on its way out - sorry TMI!! have been signed off work for a week which feel bit guilty about as most of the time I am ok but if anything goes wrong I just burst into tears and I suppose that would not be good in work so for the best. I told my dh about you and everything you have gone through - I do feel I have come off lightly compared to you. Hope you are doing ok. let me know how you getting on xxxxx

harro39 thankyou darling for thinking about me, i still find it strange how a bunch of people i dont even know have had such an effect on me over the past few weeks! for the better i might add, im sat here pouring out my heart to god knows who but find such comfort in knowing that we are all in the same place right now and hopefully friendships will be formed and with fingers crossed we will share better news in the future. I laughed at you telling you dh about me, because i have been doing the same with mine, bless he hasnt got a clue what im on about most of the time! Im glad you have been signed of work, please dont feel guilty, apart from the physical pain you need time to mentally heal, ive been off for three weeks now, the first was a pre planned holiday back to devon for 3 weddings, that is when i found out we had mc {sad} but carried on as nothing had happened for the sake of my sisters wedding, come back up north the next week and sat waiting for things to happen. i have needed this week off to sort out my head but back to work on monday, not looking forward to it at all. like you im prone to tears at any time. Im ok today, still bleeding but keeping myself busy (mainly with mn!) big hugs to you x

Hi barbie,
you sound a bit perkier, have been reading the emmys angels posts and know you had a bad day the other day and as for your dh friends comments what a * (choose your own expletive). me and dh have been laughing on and off about things it is a human reaction and part of the whole grief process. made me sad you were beating yourself up about it and hope you have stopped. you must be nervous about going back to work, do they know? Everyone knows at my place and again it is amazing how many themselves have been through it. I have decided today I am going to buy a ring to remember the 'b word' which is what me and dh called it. would have been born april so birthstone is diamond so there we go what more excuse does a girl need to buy herself more diamonds!!! will be thinking about you on Nonday, good luck and remember you have everyone here waiting for you when you get back that evening xxxxxxxxxxx

Hi harro39 i have been looking for you, been wondering how you are, did you post on emmsys angels? back to work tomorrow dreading it to be honest, have spent most of the day getting ready, ie tanning, nails etc etc...sounds shallow buts in my line of work if you dont look as good as you can, well lets just say its not an option. i think some people know, i know when i was pregnant there were whispers, mainly because we a such a close knit team and nothing goes unnoticed. Your diamond sounds wonderful. i too would of been due in april, im not sure what to do to remember the b word as you call it, im sure something will come to me soon. I hope you and your dh are still laughing and getting though these such awful days, been thinking about you, take it easy much love xbx

Me again liney how are you now?, saw you an another thread and was meant to ask but i cant remember where!!!

Hi Barbie,
how was today hope you have been ok and people have been supportive. feel like I should be back myself but then again I am never off and the dr signed me off so sod it. going to use the time to try and get the house in order!! I didn't post on emmsy's it's funny I am always quiet in big groups of people and that is how it felt looking at the thread. they are a great bunch of people and I think it is wonderful that this exists to give so much support. are you still bleeding? I hate having to use towels feels like a nappy!!! but the time I dont use one it all starts again - oh the joys!!! oh well just wanted to let you know been thinking of you back at work and sending positive vibes!!!! take carexxxx

Hi Barbie - I'm ok have bad days and good days but the bad days seem to be getting a bit less. (Though I was in floods the other day at work as it was 3 weeks to the day and I'd have been 12 weeks along and telling everyone.) I hope your feeling better too.

I saw you on the Conception thread so looks like we're ready to try again. I'm starting to temp now - all this time I left getting pregnant to chance now its happened and gone - I start taking proactive action, keep thinking that means we've really decided now, as before we used to think we weren't that worried about it.

Hi Harro - know what you mean about the towels - its been 20 years since I last used them and it was absolutely awful!

Hi girls thats for thinking of me!!nwork yesterday wasnt as bad as i thought, i only cried 3 times! i had to call dh from the car to calm me down, the closer to work i got the more the tears flowed, it was strange to be out after nearly 2 weeks only seeing the dog and the husband and i suddenly felt overwelmed, made it into work and the first person i saw was a pregnant friend and i must admit it got to me. cue the first cry, the second was during the lunch break, everyone wanted to hear my story which i didnt want to share, after the 10th it happens for a reason i cried again! the last time was just before closing, i women came in with a new born and it made me realise what could of been...Today though i feel strong, everyones questions have stopped and i'm yesterdays news! although a few freaky things happened, of all the till points in store a lady came to me and brought a preg test, my first client was pregnant, and when i went to get the stock a pile of pregnancy magazines were sat on top I also had countless questions re baby products in store....maybe im just being sensitive but it was all very weird!

Phew long post but what im trying to say is that it wasnt too bad going back and im finally looking forward instead of back, i hope one day it will be this way for you all, big hugs xxxx

harro hi hun, please keep posting here if emmsys thread too busy for you, i kind of like our chats here! Im sory i didnt post sooner but yesterday was such hard work, i was in much need of r and r when i got home, im glad you are off, i liked just pottering around and getting things sorted. As for bleeding its stopped....until next time! im like you, the minute i dare go pad free it starts again, but so far so good today. Thanks for the positive vibes they worked well today, im sending you some back hun! xx

liney i might just need a partner on this temp thingy! if you want to help me, im clueless! dh will be going back to work soon so i have no chance until he returns in jan, but in the mean time if i could get to read the signs?!!! i lok forward to more chat on the conception thred where i can just cheer eveyone else on for the time being! xx

harro hi hun, please keep posting here if emmsys thread too busy for you, i kind of like our chats here! Im sory i didnt post sooner but yesterday was such hard work, i was in much need of r and r when i got home, im glad you are off, i liked just pottering around and getting things sorted. As for bleeding its stopped....until next time! im like you, the minute i dare go pad free it starts again, but so far so good today. Thanks for the positive vibes they worked well today, im sending you some back hun! xx

liney i might just need a partner on this temp thingy! if you want to help me, im clueless! dh will be going back to work soon so i have no chance until he returns in jan, but in the mean time if i could get to read the signs?!!! i lok forward to more chat on the conception thred where i can just cheer eveyone else on for the time being! xx

harro hi hun, please keep posting here if emmsys thread too busy for you, i kind of like our chats here! Im sorry i didnt post sooner but yesterday was such hard work, i was in much need of r and r when i got home, im glad you are off, i liked just pottering around and getting things sorted. As for bleeding its stopped....until next time! im like you, the minute i dare go pad free it starts again, but so far so good today. Thanks for the positive vibes they worked well today, im sending you some back hun! xx

liney i might just need a partner on this temp thingy! if you want to help me, im clueless! dh will be going back to work soon so i have no chance until he returns in jan, but in the mean time if i could get to read the signs?!!! i lok forward to more chat on the conception thred where i can just cheer eveyone else on for the time being! xx

harro hi hun, please keep posting here if emmsys thread too busy for you, i kind of like our chats here! Im sorry i didnt post sooner but yesterday was such hard work, i was in much need of r and r when i got home, im glad you are off, i liked just pottering around and getting things sorted. As for bleeding its stopped....until next time! im like you, the minute i dare go pad free it starts again, but so far so good today. Thanks for the positive vibes they worked well today, im sending you some back hun! xx

liney i might just need a partner on this temp thingy! if you want to help me, im clueless! dh will be going back to work soon so i have no chance until he returns in jan, but in the mean time if i could get to read the signs?!!! i lok forward to more chat on the conception thred where i can just cheer eveyone else on for the time being! xx

harro hi hun, please keep posting here if emmsys thread too busy for you, i kind of like our chats here! Im sorry i didnt post sooner but yesterday was such hard work, i was in much need of r and r when i got home, im glad you are off, i liked just pottering around and getting things sorted. As for bleeding its stopped....until next time! im like you, the minute i dare go pad free it starts again, but so far so good today. Thanks for the positive vibes they worked well today, im sending you some back hun! xx

liney i might just need a partner on this temp thingy! if you want to help me, im clueless! dh will be going back to work soon so i have no chance until he returns in jan, but in the mean time if i could get to read the signs?!!! i lok forward to more chat on the conception thred where i can just cheer eveyone else on for the time being! xx

whoops!

Hi Barbie,
glad everything went ok yesterday, i was a bit worried when you didn't go on last night but glad it wasn't too bad. It's wierd all your pregnancy things!!! hopefully a good omen that things will be like that for you soon. It's a bummer about your dh going away but at least you know your body will be back to normal and rady when he gets back. You will have a fun reunion!!!! I actually felt back to normal body wise today no discomfort and no bleeding - but that has started again tonight!! went for lunch at friends house who is pregnant today with other ladies all with younger kids and one 7 month old. only felt a little bit teray once so was proud of myself. It's good to hear you more positive. I enjoy our little chats too and would miss them if they stopped. It's good how a shared experience can bring people together in this way. My sis in law is a senior product manager (been checking out your profile) hoping to get a job with L'Oreal in Australia. Well hope things keep on the up. I am going to make the most of the rest of my week, going in to help in ds school tomorrow, he is so pleased bless him. Take care darlin and keep in touch

Liney cant wait to bin the towels!! Hope you are ok

Hi Barbie - Its is bit confusing this temperature thingy! I did buy a book about it and now reading on the conception site I find there's a website as well - I'd be far better off with the computer!

At the moment I feel like temperature taking is really random due to my terrible sleeping pattern waking up at 2, 3 and 4 o'clock when you should have 3 hours sleep prior to taking it. (Woke Dh up this morning at 4am trying to take my temp quietly - stupid thing keeps bleeping.) Every since the miscarriage my sleeping pattern has gone completely.

I'll be seing you soon on the conception board tryign to understand what all the experts have to say over there.

hi i was just over ten weeks and i had abdopain so i went to epu and had a scan they said the baby had stopped growing about a week before. everything was still in tact no signs of coming away. i opted for a natural miscarriage but they advised me if i left it any longer infection could kick in. i took the tablet on sunday within 30 mins i had contractions it was awful. about 20 mins after i was bleeding heavily so went to change. i looked at the towel and there was sat my little baby in the palm of my hand,then followed another large clot then followed a larger messy clot which i had to push with slight force. my boyfriend is trauamtised and neither of us can sleep. the tablet is not the best option. they told me i would have "period" like bleeding. this was a 8 to 10 week baby with everything just sat in my hand an i had to watch it being flushed down the toilet. i dont want to traumatise you but me and my partner want people to know the full possibilities of the tablet. xx