Broken

[Niftymum88]

Hi 👋🏻
The doctors think I’m having a missed miscarriage.
i should be 7 weeks but baby is measuring 5 weeks, which would mean I fell pregnant a week after a positive test.
ive to go for a rescan in two weeks.
those who have had a miscarriage like this, how long did it take for your body to to let go of the baby?
or did you have to take medication/surgery?
thank you

Hello - firstly, I am so sorry xx

it's quite confusing as to why they want to wait and rescan you - was there a heartbeat?

I had a missed miscarriage and found out at my 13 week scan that the baby had stopped growing at 9 weeks. I was sort of advised to go home and wait and see, and it did not go well. Without going into detail I would say opt for surgery as that way you know it's complete, less chance of infection and delays to trying again, if that's what you want.

I'd suggest asking not to wait 2 weeks if possible as it's horrible waiting around.

good luck and a big hug xxx

Thank you.

there was no heartbeat, which they said was normal for 5 weeks.
but being 5 weeks just doesn’t match times and dates, so in my heart I know.
im going to ring the gp for epu referral because they wouldn’t accept a referral from me over the phone.
i just want it over with 😢

Absolutely. Definitely advocate for yourself to be seen faster, it is cruel to make you wait x

I’m sorry this is happening to you.
i had a similar situation to you, told to come back in 2 weeks. After that they booked me in for surgery a few days later, but in the meantime nature began to take its course. It resulted in an emergency hospital stay which was unnecessarily traumatic. I would recommend the surgical option based on my experience. For me, it would have felt like I was a little bit more in control during an awful, out of control experience.
Take care x

Really sorry to hear this, I went through a similar experience. In my case I ended up going for an MVA as my body didn’t recognise the loss.

I think some previous replies aren’t quite understanding the situation. When the embryo is so small they can’t diagnose a pregnancy loss as in theory your dates could be wrong, even though you know this is not the case. Their hands are tied, they have to wait to see whether it grows. With pregnancies that are further along, if there is no heartbeat they know that it’s not viable.

I went to BPAS for my MVA as it shortened the timeline a little as they would accept the private scan report whereas the NHS needed two of their own scans.

Wishing you all the best OP xx

As the previous poster said they do require you to wait a week or two at this early stage before proceeding with any treatment. Because at this early stage, the embryo is so small they could be wrong. And imagine the devastation if they are wrong and they terminated a healthy pregnancy. They won’t take that risk. At 9 weeks+ etc if there isn’t a heartbeat they know it isn’t viable. At 5/6 weeks it’s still possible in theory that it’s just too early and they can’t take people’s word for it just in case.

I’ve had a few MMC now. In all of them I’ve needed to wait at least a week. Even when one was an IVF pregnancy so the dates were 100% accurate the EPU wouldn’t do anything for 2 weeks. It’s hard, but I understand why they need to do it. With one of my MMC my body resolved it itself by week 8. With the other two I had surgery at weeks 9 for one of them and week 10 for another. I preferred to opt for surgery over medication.

I’m too old to have children now but if on the off chance I was to get pregnant and have another MMC I’d always choose surgery personally.

I’m completely second guessing the first scan and everything else.
lmp 8/12
first positive test 29/12
so should be 7 weeks
scan yesterday says 5 weeks 1 day.

my friend also had a scan yesterday she should have been 7 weeks 4 days but measured 6 weeks 5 days.

is it possible the sonographer has given me the wrong info of it being a miscarriage or am I clutching to straws

Almost 2 weeks out is quite a lot. By 7 weeks you really should be able to see a heartbeat in a viable pregnancy. My old IVF clinic waited until 7+ weeks because at that point they could tell whether it was a viable pregnancy or not. With the date of your positive test it’s unlikely it’s just that your dates are wrong. You can’t be under 7 weeks. One thing is that private clinics aren’t always as well trained. You’d think they could see a heartbeat but who knows really. So that gives you a bit of hope. You really just need a scan at an EPU to confirm. They’ll still tell you to wait a week or two I imagine and they will often tell you you might just have your dates wrong. That’s what they’ve always told me. But I’ve always known for definite my dates so I always knew there wasn’t any hope for me.

21 years ago this happened to me. I knew their dates were impossible as had only had sex on one date, had to go back a week later too….
my daughter is now 21 years old so don’t lose all hope just yet x

I’ve had two MMCs. I took medication for the first one and had surgery for the second. I preferred the surgery as it was totally painless, I barely bled and it was all over with in a day.

Sorry this has happened to you, OP :(

just been to the gp, they refuse to refer me to epu.
said it’s normal to be measuring 5 weeks because then when conception would have happened

Yeah that’s not right. Pregnancy is never dated from conception. I’m surprised that a GP wouldn’t know this. Unfortunately I guess there’s not much you can do but wait and see. If you can, book yourself another private scan in a week or two. The other option, and I don’t normally advise lying, is to lie. Wait a few days and say you’ve had some bleeding/pain.

I had assumed that you were under the care of the NHS in your original message as you mentioned doctors, but it sounds like this was a private scan.

If you’re not getting seen by the NHS I would recommend reaching out to BPAS to see if they can help xx

So the scan on Sunday was private. I rung out of hours gp and that’s what they said.
but when to see a gp face to face and got a totally different answer.

i stupidly went to a different place for a scan for a second opinion this afternoon. And only saw a gestational sack measuring 6 weeks but no fetal pole.
where as on Sunday there was a fetal pole measuring 2.2mm

Just a little update
managed to get in at epu for a scan on Friday.
they were very reassuring.
upon my scan on Sunday I did do a clear blue and it said 2-3 weeks which left me even more deflated.
today nausea has hit hard, I thought sod it I have another test so took it, and it’s at 3+.
ive never been so confused in all my life

Update
had a scan done at epu
measuring 3.5mm not heartbeat yet
She said she can’t confirm anything at this stage. And can’t go by the private scan.
Got to go back for another scan in two weeks.
I’m taking it as a positive.
Cos it’s grown from 2.2mm on Sunday to 3.5mm

While I think it’s great to stay positive, I personally would also keep a bit guarded. At almost 8 weeks (and you can’t be any less going by your positive test date) you really should see a heartbeat at this point. EPUs will always say they can’t confirm anything, and sacs/embryos will often continue to grow slowly even when not viable. Even when I had a totally empty sac at 7 weeks (confirmed dates due to IVF) my EPU made me wait two weeks in case it was wrong. Thankfully I started to miscarry naturally before then.

I’m not trying to put a downer on anything I promise. I’ve had multiple miscarriages. Just advising to stay realistic as well as hopeful.

She also said I could have tested positive the day after implanting, and the embryo wouldn’t be growing if it wasn’t viable.
the reason she couldn’t confirm anything is because the heartbeat wasn’t seen yet but at 3.5mm that’s normal

I’m rooting for you OP! Hope it all works out. Sending hugs and keeping everything crossed for you. x

Allowing for a positive test at 5dpo (pretty much impossible) you’re still pretty much 7 weeks pregnant as it only takes 3 days off what you thought anyway which was 8dpo. Which is why I meant I’d still be a bit cautious if it was me.
But no problem I wish you all the best. I hope it does work out for you.

I’m sorry you’re going through this, I hope that there is a mistake and your pregnancy is viable. However, I think you should try to mentally prepare for the worst.

I was exactly 12 weeks pregnant when I started bleeding. I was sent to the EPU and when they scanned me they told me I was carrying twins but they were only measuring around 6 weeks I think (it was all a blur at the time and was 19 years and 3 weeks ago now). I was absolutely certain of my dates as I tested when I was exactly 4 weeks pregnant (2 weeks post conception). So to be nearly 6 weeks out was just impossible. However they sent me home with instructions to rest and go back either the following week or the week after (you’ll see why I can’t remember what they said in a minute). So I spent the next few days doing just that. 5 days later, the day I had originally been due to have my 12 week scan in fact, I started bleeding heavily. Then the cramping started. My husband called the EPU back and then our out of hours doctor. They advised us to go to A&E as I was passing clots by then and the pain was ramping up. We went to A&E - I can barely remember the journey as it was so, so painful. I’m going to save you the details of my A&E experience other than to say it was awful apart from some kind strangers who went out of their way to help me. Once they got my pain under control several hours later, and the contractions/cramping had stopped, I was admitted overnight and scanned the next morning. They confirmed I was miscarrying but it was an incomplete miscarriage. They said I could either have a D&C to remove what was left, or leave and come back in 3 weeks to check it had finished naturally. I chose the latter as I was scared about general anaesthetic. I will say if it had happened again, I would have chosen the surgery.

It was awful, and I’m sat here crying whilst I’m remembering it, so please look after yourself and make sure you have someone with you or certainly able to get to you quickly in case your body starts to miscarry on its own. Remember that this isn’t your fault, and you haven’t done anything wrong. Tell you this as I couldn’t stop those thoughts for myself. I hope telling you that will help remind you of the truth. I really, really hope that the dates are just wrong, but I have to be honest with you and say I think it’s unlikely based on what you’ve said. I tried convincing myself that maybe I’d miscarried the pregnancy but then fell pregnant right after and that’s why the dates were out…. I think our brains will cling to anything when the alternative is too awful to deal with.

Personally I found the EPU to be really gaslighting both times. I told them again and again that my dates were exactly right and that I could not be as early as they said but they kept telling me I could be wrong and to ‘be positive’ when it was quite clear that there was no hope. It was incredibly upsetting, especially being forced to wait for two weeks in between scans.

I guess what I’m saying is, stay guarded and don’t get your hopes up.

My only reason for being hopeful is that there was a significant change in appearance of the fetal pole and that there was some growth.
mid I don’t stay positive I don’t know how I’ll get through the next two weeks

Fingers crossed for you x

I can appreciate what other posters are saying as I too was told that being a week and a half behind was fine and sent away before discovering a MMC 5 weeks later - I was so angry as I knew in my gut something was wrong at the time.

But OP if staying positive rather than expecting the worst is what helps you get through, you do that as it won’t change the outcome. I’m really praying for you that it works out, look after yourself xx