Miscarriage management choices help

[GreenApple121]

Hello,
I experienced some spotting and was seen at EPU for a scan yesterday. Sadly I was told they could not find a heart beat and that baby stopped growing little while ago.
obviously feeling devastated as it is, but now needing to think of ‘choices’ of management of the situation. Gestation is around 8-9 weeks but my understanding baby stopped growing earlier.
Was hoping to hear some experiences/pros and cons. I’m feeling I’m leaning towards surgical under GA mainly to have someone else ‘deal’ with it with me, and secondly as it feels that natural is quite unpredictable as to when it happens?
So sorry for anyone experienced or going through this! Thank you in advance for sharing your thoughts and experiences. It can be a lonely time! X

Heyy your story is similar to mine been for latest scan today. I haven’t had any bleeding though. I have opted for surgery as I could not face sitting at home waiting for it to happen. Also tablets can result in surgery if all not passed anyway x

Hello! So sorry to hear you’re going through this too… it’s horrible.
thanks for your thoughts I am feeling quite similar, are you opting for General A?
I’m nervous about GA as never had this before.
still waiting to hear back from them at EPU to make a plan.

So sorry for your loss 🤍🤍🤍

Everyone is different but my recent experience… I had opted for surgical but unfortunately due to hospital mistakes causing delays ended up miscarrying naturally at home - it started as painful period cramps and then turned into what was the most unbearable pain (even with strong pain killers) for around 4 hours whilst I passed the largest amount of tissue. I am still experiencing bleeding and cramps a couple of weeks later and finding this very upsetting. If I am unfortunate enough to go through this again I will be opting for surgical immediately

best of luck and lots of love 🤍

Sorry you’re going through this, I had a miscarriage at 9 weeks and remember being so uncertain about what to do. I did start bleeding spontaneously but was taking longer than they liked and I was in a lot of pain so ended up having medical management, have you been offered that option?
Less invasive than a GA & surgical option, and recovery time after is quicker.

Hi, this happened to me a few years ago now and I opted to wait for the process to happen naturally. It took a few weeks until after spotting for proper bleeding to start and actually passing everything was very painful. You experience contractions and I was taken aback by the level of pain. I think I would have opted for surgical management if I had known this. Sorry this has happened to you x

Hi @ThisZippyViewer @Now81 @user2848502016
thank you so much for your responses! So sorry to hear you’ve had these experiences it’s so upsetting and sounds there isn’t one straight forward way. However sounds like perhaps surgical gives you a level of control and helps avoid the painful passing of tissue.
I have also been offered medical management too but heard that it can be as painful as natural if not more ?

I was in more pain before taking the medication, but I think everyone is different.
There are definitely advantages to the surgical option that it’s over and done with quicker x

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I've had multiple missed miscarriages and had surgical management each time. I like the fact you go to sleep and when you wake up it's done. It allowed me to focus on the emotional side rather than worrying about the physical. Also please don't worry about GA (easier said than done when it's your first time). I've had 7 GAs now, and the worst thing that happened was feeling a bit cold after I came around in recovery xx

Sorry you are going through this OP. My first pregnancy, I chose TFMR. I was 12 weeks and assumed it would be surgical. I had 3, 1cm fibroids and they strongly suggested I have medical management instead. I suspect they also wanted medical management as they did an autopsy afterwards. This was abroad and I was kept in hospital overnight.

The biggest issue I found is that a side effect of the meds can be a high fever and diarrhoea. My face looked like a beetroot and I felt like I was burning up. I was eventually given 2 paracetamol- but in hindsight, I should have asked for something stronger. I found it bareable though and actually the painful part where the cervix is opening, wasn't very long.

I then had an MC at 7 weeks. I had spotting, but no pain at all so went to work and MC there. It was just like a period in terms of a very mild cramp- but then I rarely get period pains. I then had another MC at 9 weeks which was slightly more painful than period cramps.

I'd suggest reading up what you can. Surgery can have its own risks too. Just remember that it isn't your fault and you aren't alone. x

Thanks @Moosey898 @JDM625 !
so sorry to hear of your experiences of losses!
@Moosey898 it’s reassuring to hear about GA!
@JDM625 I also have fibroids but they didn’t mention this to be an obstacle for surgical management?
so frustrating now just waiting to hear from them and when I call it takes absolute ages to get through to them!

I am so sorry to hear this hun xx

I had medical management twice. I'm not sure why, it just felt more appealing (well, less unappealing) to me personally. It all went OK, pain but manageable through taking codeine, paracetamol and ibuprofen 4 hourly, a hot water bottle and lots of netflix and a big glass of wine in the evening (probably not advised due to the pain meds but did the trick). I think I inserted the pessary in the morning both times and by the time I went to bed, I wasn't in much pain or bleeding a lot.

@Mauvehoodie Im really sorry to hear about your losses! It’s just so awful.
thank you for sharing your experience with medical management - it’s been very helpful to hear!
If you don’t mind me asking (please just ignore if it’s too much, or you’d rather not go there) - how many weeks gestation were you? Did you experience large clots/tissue passing at home?

Thank you. I just realised in my haste to post I didn’t say sorry for your loss also 💐. It’s such a hard time and I really feel for you.

i was around 12 weeks the first time as I waited 2 weeks to see if things happened naturally (baby measured 8.5 weeks). The second time I was 10 weeks and baby measured 7.5 weeks. Both fairly similar though in terms of the experience. I did pass some clots/tissue etc. It ended up being into the loo and I just flushed as I wasn’t sure what was clots and what was actual tissue. It was actually ok, it was the bit I was most worried about but in the end I just didn’t think too hard about what was happening.

For what it’s worth I now have a 4 year old DD who was conceived 3 months after the second mmc (I was 41 at the time so think my age had some impact). I also took 150 mg aspirin each evening during my DD’s pregnancy. I’ll never know for sure but can’t help think that had a positive impact. They prescribe it during pregnancy sometimes eg during ivf pregnancies so I knew it was considered safe.

@Mauvehoodie Thank you!
And thank you so much for sharing your experience in detail, it’s very helpful to hear about in my making decisions!
wish after the pain of learning the sad news we didn’t have to contend with all these decisions on top of it all!
thank you and it has truly helped to connect with others on here who experienced something similar.

Hi @GreenApple121I’m sorry for your loss. I’m going through this too. I had a bit of spotting last week and a scan at the EPU found no fetal pole (which should have been seen as I was at 6w5d). They arranged for me to come back this week for a scan to check for any growth but in the meantime I’ve had cramps and spotting so I know I’ve miscarried. I’m going in tomorrow and have already talked to the nurse about medical management as I want to be in the comfort of my own home. Assuming the scan shows miscarriage, I will take the pills on Thursday. Hope it all goes ok for you whatever you decide and look after yourself, it’s such a tough time.

I’m so sorry about your situation/potential loss! It sounds good that you have a plan in mind!
Im still waiting to hear back from EPU - just want a plan now! Been having more spotting now though so I wonder if a natural process might be on the way… Will have to see and hope they contact me back tonight!
good luck with your second scan. It’s such a difficult journey but I was quite shocked to learn how common it is. I guess people don’t talk about it enough.
sending a hug! X

So sorry for your loss 🤍
I’m currently going through the same after a scan on Monday at 9wks showed a mmc.
Baby was fine at 6wks and a had strong heartbeat 💔
Im also undecided on medical/surgical option since it’s been 4days and no cramps/bleeding so far. I kind of want it over with since waiting around feels like torture. I was also on cyclogest for a SCH and a previous misc in 2018… glad I took it to give the pregnancy the best possible chance but unfortunately cyclogest can also mask a miscarriage if it’s inevitable to happen.. what a catch 22 💔
Sending lots of love x

Sooo sorry for your loss too! It’s just so so awful. Very similar situation here - MMC noticed around 9 weeks but they said baby likely stopped growing 6-7 weeks.

But if an update from me in case might be helpful - I had a surgical management booked for Wed next week (earliest they could book me for!) but miscarriage happened naturally yesterday evening. Thankfully I Was able to stay home all day and was comfortable. I started period like light bleeding in the morning and then could feel it was getting bit stronger by about 4 pm so thought it was ‘coming’… I think I caught a good moment to take painkillers so by the time it started properly (5/5:30) the painkillers were already working.
I was terrified expecting it to be awful. Of course very unpleasant, but it was manageable - several strong gushes of blood with lots of clots but was manageable as long as you’re close to a bathroom. It was over by about 7 pm and then I felt ok just tired. I was never in huge pain. Now just had light-ish period like bleeding since.
of course I don’t know if everything is emptied or not, now need to wait 3 weeks to take preg test to check.
originally I really didn’t want natural/expectant but now I am ok with it - feels like my body did what it needed to do if that makes sense?
really tough experience whatever way it’s managed. I hope you’re coping, and getting lots of support! I am here if you need to chat, I found speaking on this thread very helpful and supportive! Big hug

Hope you’re ok @GreenApple121 and I’m glad it was manageable and you were able to get through it with painkillers and that you were at home. I had medical management yesterday and had a similar experience - managed with ibuprofen and paracetamol. Fingers crossed for you that you feel much better soon and look after yourself.

Hello and thank you!
so glad to hear it was manageable for you too. How are you holding up? Are you trying for your first? Hope you doing ok and getting lots of support.
Are you doing a similar waiting game now for a negative pregnancy test?

Feeling much better today actually with just a few minor cramps and less bleeding. How are you getting on? Yes we are trying for our first, it’s been such a rollercoaster as we were so excited to get the positive test just a few weeks ago. How about you? Have you spoken to any friends or family about what you’ve been through? I’ve told a few friends - it’s definitely helped me to process by having people to talk to. Hope you’ve got lots of support.

@Wiennetta That’s good! Same here feeling better just really tired, with period like bleeding.
we are trying for our second, my daughter is 9! This round has definitely been a rollercoaster. I’ve spoken to a couple of friends and like my parents. It has been very helpful - a close friend has also gone through this and been very supportive. So much better to talk then putting a brave face on around people if comfortable to let them know!
have you been trying for long?

I’m glad you’re doing ok and it was manageable. I think mine is just about starting, had some bright red bleeding since this afternoon, no pain as of yet but I’m hopeful my body will do what it needs to do.
Thankyou for the support 🫶 got great partner and family around me but it still don’t half feel quite isolating and lonely. Speaking on this thread has been a huge help.
Here’s to us strong ladies 💕

@Mocha30 how are you doing with it all? I hope the process has been manageable if it started naturally for you. So sorry about your loss again. x