Miscarriage management choices help

[GreenApple121]

Hello,
I experienced some spotting and was seen at EPU for a scan yesterday. Sadly I was told they could not find a heart beat and that baby stopped growing little while ago.
obviously feeling devastated as it is, but now needing to think of ‘choices’ of management of the situation. Gestation is around 8-9 weeks but my understanding baby stopped growing earlier.
Was hoping to hear some experiences/pros and cons. I’m feeling I’m leaning towards surgical under GA mainly to have someone else ‘deal’ with it with me, and secondly as it feels that natural is quite unpredictable as to when it happens?
So sorry for anyone experienced or going through this! Thank you in advance for sharing your thoughts and experiences. It can be a lonely time! X

Im doing ok, thankyou for checking in 🫶 hope you’re ok too.
Some big clots and cramping but it’s manageable with paracetamol. Hopefully the worst of it will be over with by the end of the day. Somewhat glad it’s started naturally and no need for medical/surgical intervention as of yet 🤞 xx

Hope it passes quickly for you and you’re comfortable today.
It’s such a rollercoaster of emotions - one day I would be fine, and today having a really down day. I think you just need to give it time.

How are you doing @GreenApple121? Hope it’s all still been manageable for you. I’m glad you’ve got friends and family to talk to. Especially having someone who has been through this all before! Definitely part of it is feeling lonely and going through something major.

We’d been trying for about 5 months when I got pregnant although one of those months we basically missed my fertile window due to work travel and life. It’s very frustrating that it took a few months and then didn’t work out. We’re going to try again when I’ve physically recovered. How about you - and have you thought about trying again?

I’ve had a couple of bad evenings with cramps and lost quite a bit of blood with clots but it’s still not been unbearable (just managing with a hot water bottle and ibuprofen). Hope you’re all doing ok!

Thanks lovely, bit better today but still getting strong cramps which stop me in my tracks. Bleeding and clots have calmed down a lot though.
Take good care of yourself and remember it’s ok to have good and bad days. Prioritise self care, it will get easier 🫶
Have you got good support around you and are work also being supportive?

@Wiennetta and @Mocha30
Thanks ladies for checking in!

@Wiennetta Its positive that it took less than 6 months!
very similar here - got positive test ok 5th month of trying. I think we will try again but I want to wait a couple months just to recover. Although turned 40 few months ago so time not exactly on my side.
feeling bit better today. Also had some random cramps yesterday but no increase in bleeding. Still having light period like bleeding but on the phone nurse said this can continue for 1-2 weeks!
hope you’re doing ok! You having time off work?

@Mocha30 sorry to hear about the cramping - I had some yesterday too.
thank you for the kind words! It’s strange not knowing how you’d feel day to day - so important to have time to process.
work has been amazing, just told me to have all of last week off. This week I’m going to get back to it, but work from home.
how about you? Were you able to have time off?

Yes I had all of last week off as self certified and I’m asking my Gp to sign me off for another week or two. I need the time to fully come to terms with the miscarriage both physically and emotionally.
Work have been great and colleagues have also told me to not rush back. I’m a health visitor so working with pregnant women, newborns and young babies is all a bit too much right now. There’s no option to wfh and being out and about visiting families homes is all a bit much to deal with. I feel slightly guilty that I should be going back to work sooner but at the same time I need to prioritise my own well-being. Sending healing thoughts to all xx

@Mocha30 goodness you shouldn’t feel guilty at all - I can’t imagine working in this area following a miscarriage it would be so so tough! Absolutely legitimate to take the time off, and look after yourself so you can look after other people when you’re ready to go back!!

so sorry for your loss. I had a missed miscarriage we found out at 8 weeks and looked like baby died around 5-6 weeks. I opted for the tablets I took one on the day I left the early pregnancy unit and the other the next day. I spent the day in bed and miscarried on the toilet. It wasn’t nice but it was definitely much easier than I thought it would be. I personally wouldn’t have gone down the surgical route unless I was further along

edit to add we got pregnant the month after unexpectedly and now have a nearly 4 year old!

I'm sorry you're going through this, it's a horrible thing.

I've had two people close to me experience the same. One went for medication straight away, one waited a couple of weeks for it to pass naturally but it didn't, so ended up taking the medication. It seems much less traumatic to take the tablet and then spend the rest of the day at home where you can be supported through the pain than going under GA but you have to do what feels right for you.

Sorry for your loss too! Sounds like very similar timings to mine.
but how lovely to hear of a successful pregnancy with your daughter shortly after!

I'm also thinking about my options so this has been immensely informative during what is a really awful time. I'm 9 weeks, had light spotting on Saturday so booked a private scan. No heartbeat and feotus measured 8 weeks. I'm now awaiting a call from the hospital so thank you for starting this thread and I'm so so sorry that you are going through the same.

@HannahChats Im so sorry you’re going through this! I hope you get helpful guidance from the hospital.
if helpful my miscarriage happened naturally and it was manageable at home. After that had light period bleeding for about 8-10 days which then stopped and then I had a negative pregnancy test after that.
hope you’re getting lots of support!

@Wiennetta @Mocha30 how are you both doing?

@HannahChats hope you’re doing ok, and I’m sorry for your loss 🤍
My miscarriage was very similar to @GreenApple121 passed naturally at home 6 days after being picked up on a scan. I was taking progesterone pessaries for a SCH which unfortunately can mask a miscarriage and delay the natural process. Once the progesterone was stopped and cleared through my system, my body then done what it needed to do. It which was manageable at home with paracetamol and taking it easy. Bled heavy for the first two days and then light period like bleeding, everything stoped completely by day 9/10. Now having a negative pregnancy test and awaiting to be seen at the miscarriage clinic since I’ve had two pregnancies and two losses.
@GreenApple121 I’m doing a lot better thankyou, how are you?

Hi all

Im over 4 weeks after miscarrying naturally and bleeding is ongoing 🫠 its notalmost like a bloody discharge.
Still got a vvvfl on pregnancy test - EPU have advised to test again in a weeks time and call back if still there

feeling exhausted to be honest this has been such a long process. Has anyone experienced similar?

Hi all

Im over 4 weeks after miscarrying naturally and bleeding is ongoing 🫠 its notalmost like a bloody discharge.
Still got a vvvfl on pregnancy test - EPU have advised to test again in a weeks time and call back if still there

feeling exhausted to be honest this has been such a long process. Has anyone experienced similar?

Hi, Im so sorry to hear about your loss and the fact that the aftermath is still ongoing.
it must be really tough. I’m afraid my bleeding stopped fully around 8-10 days after the miscarriage and I’ve started getting my ovulation symptoms recently so hoping for new period after that. Also had a stark negative test.
It might be helpful to chase the EPU as maybe you might need a scan to see if there is any remaining tissue?
but if your pregnancy test is very faint maybe it will be fully negative in a bit of time?
so sorry again! X

I went to hospital yesterday, the kindest staff who talked me through everything. They've said to wait 6 days in the hope that things will pass naturally. If that doesn't happen, then potential medical intervention. I'm impatient for it to happen now as closure would help. Even things like going to the gym feel like a big leap at the moment but you've just got to keep going. Sending you all hugs, it's not an easy time but it's comforting to know that it's common and you have a support network there.

I did it naturally and it was so painful and drawn out
id opt surgical if I had the choice again

I had 2. The first I miscarried naturally at home. It was manageable pain wise but was obviously upsetting.
The second i didn't naturally miscarry so they took me in for surgery. I opted for GA and would do it again. The care I got when I came put if surgery was horrific but I think that is an individual issue and not normal. I rested for a day or 2 but felt physically ok fairly quickly afterwards.
I'm so sorry you are having to go through this.

@GreenApple121 😘😘 thanks for your reply line was super faint today so im hoping will be gone this week

so hard to look forward when its dragged on for so long