Missed miscarriage- anyone else experience this b4? need to chat

[nandos]

Hi,
I am going through a miscarriage this week after finding out at 10wks that baby(thats what i prefer to call it-dont mind me) growth is only at 5-6wks. Had no symptoms at all since i found out i was pregnant and the 10wk scan showed only a sac n a yolk. Sonographer said either it stopped growing or my lmp is wrong, which is highly unlikely and i would have to go through a d&c if 2nd scan showed no progress and if i dont have bleeding by next week.
Just would like to share my experience with anyone who went through similar case like mine n we can at least comfort each other in times of sadness ..

Yes, a lot of people get pregnant very quickly afterwards. My post-miscarriage conception took longer than the others, and I think in a way I wasn't mentally ready and I was trying too hard to fix what had gone wrong, if you know what I mean. So every time I didn't conceive I was much more panicky about it than I had been for previous conceptions.

I think if you were ready to be pregnant before, you're ready to be pregnant again now, BUT that doesn't mean you're ready to TRY to get pregnant now - do you know what I mean? Because suddenly it all matters more and the risks seem bigger, and the thought that you might go through it again means the whole world.

This is what we do, though, isn't it, we're the ones who have the babies. There are amazing threads on here about conceiving after miscarriage and pregnancy after miscarriage. They helped me tons. I'd really recommend looking through one or two of them over the next few days, because it just normalises where you are right now and so many stories have happy endings.

EBenes, i heard of some ppl who like u said get pregnant very quickly after mc...but im a bit scared to take that same step.
im even more scared if i really get pregnant this month/nextmonth ..i dont know why.
i guess this is normal?
the fear of telling ppl that i am pregnant and then miscarries again is too much..
anywayz thx for the info regarding the threads..will look into it soon ..goodnite

my GP yesterday said i could TTC straight away, and told me the "lining of womb" thing meaning you should wait a month (that hospital told me) is not necessary. argh! what to do now? still got positive pregnancy test currently, so will wait till that goes negative and stomach ache goes completely, then seriously think about whether if i try now i will wory about possibility of mc...but so desperate to try asap to get back on track to where we were.

it's now getting on for almost 2 weeks since we found out i'd had a missed miscarriage, it does get easier. am starting to feel more logical/philosophical about it just not being meant to be, it still really hurts though. I spoke to Scottish Care (even tho i dont live in scotland) miscarriage assocation yesterday which was really helpful. made me make up my mind to wait a month before TTC again...just to be safe, as otherwise i'll be wrapped with worry that the same thing could happen again. She made it clear the scientific evidence is v. unclear about whether you need to wait a month or not, but if i do wait a month, then i'v done everything i can. me and DH are also not drinking at all for a month...boring, but at least that way i can rule out that too. with mc pregnancy i drank a bottle of wine over the first weekend, without knowing i was pregnant, and also had cod liver oil tablets for first 5 weeks as didnt know till i read books that they were dangerous. i know it's silly, but cant help thinking this caused it!

Your not silly at all. I had had wine before I realised I was pregnant and worried about that all the way through. I also had a very stressful week when I was 5/6 weeks pregnant with a trip to casualty with my son and selling the house the next day and I can't help worrying that that triggered it though I know it is probably unlikely. When I was in the ambulance the paramedic took my blood pressure and pulse (to show my son who was scared what she needed to do to him) and she found that my heart was racing like the clappers. I worry about that too even though people tell me its highly unlikely. I think I'm going to give up alcohol and coffee once I've had my first period. We're going to wait until then to start again just for personal reasons really, I think I just need to rest for a few weeks and get this house moving sorted before we try again. I think it is natural to worry about various things that might be said to be bad for the baby such as alcohol, stress and caffine but there is just no way of knowing.

My dating was almost the same as yours and it's awful but I can't add anything else at the moment. Just know that you aren't alone in this.

Hi everyone. Sorry to hear about your sad stories and heartened to hear about your gradual recoveries. I too have migrated over here from the Dec 08 thread. There's an awful lot of us with MMCs from that thread it seems.

I had my 12 week scan this am and they found no heartbeat and baby stopped growing about 8-9 weeks.

We have a hol booked for 15th so think my best option is a D&C. Scared though as never had a general. At least I can rest up in the greek sunshine.

Warm wishes to you all and hope you're looking after yourselves. x

Oh fruitbowl poor, poor you.

I had a D&C the last time and it is a very simple procedure. I'd never had a general before then either so was nervous too. It all went ok. I was home by tea time.

I imagine that by the time you go on holiday you'll be really glad you can get away. Time out is very important I think after a MC.

Thanks Becky, that's v reassuring. How are you doing now? x

I had a mc with my first pregnancy - went for 14 week scan and was told it had died about 8 weeks. I had been really poorly and very sick - had a D&C the following day. 3 days later I was back at my own GP's bleeding heavily and passing large clots. I went straight back to hospital had a scan only for them to tell me that they had left fetal matter behind - so i had to have another D&C. I now have two very healthy boys.

fruitbowl im so sorry to hear abt your mc ..i hope that the d&c goes well and that you will recover soon.
do chat with us whenever u need to k.
take care n lots of hugss.

xx

Just been reading this thread and it has helped a lot to know other people have gone through this. I found out yesterday at my routine 12 wk scan that the baby had stopped developing at 7 weeks. We were shocked as I have had awful pregnancy symptoms since around that time - much worse sickness and tiredness than with my previous pregnancies (I am very fortunate to have two daughters already).

I would also have been due in December.

The worse bit is reliving the moment the sonographer said " I can't see a 12 week foetus - are you sure of your dates" and the sudden drop from the happy excited atmosphere of a second before to the shock when I realised had happened.

I'm booked in for the operation on Wednesday. Scared but more scared of waiting to see if I finally miscarry naturally.

Part of me keen to start trying again straight again but another part is terrified.

Best wishes to everyone else on this thread and hope you all go on to have happier pregnancies in the future x

Good luck for wednesday hairytoe. The waiting is so hard. I'm thinking of you. I had my ERPC just over a week ago and am starting to come to come to terms with things. It is a frightening experience but I hope you get some support to help you through from here and in RL. Lots of luck x

Hi all,
Have found this thread really helpful.
Just found out today I have a missed MC. I am 8 weeks. Scan at 6 weeks was fine, but now yolk has gone and no HB.
I am in total shock as have been having major pregnancy symptoms. Sick this morn before scan, feel sick again now. Have found it very hard to keep any food down.
Partly for this reason I have booked in to have D and C a week today (the earliest I could get) and am waiting to see if anything happens naturally till then.
I am (pardon my language) shitting myself as have never had a gereral before and the whole idea really scares me.
Again, its a waiting game for me at the moment.
So sad as this was my first (very wanted) pregancy after a year of trying.
xx

BumpVL - so so sorry to hear your sad news. Esp. after so long trying. I'm sending lots of love and support. I was scared of the op too. Dunno if this helps but I would recommend telling the docs / nurses you are worried, I'm sure they'll take good care of you. I wish I'd told them how scared I was in hindsight, could've done with someone holding my hand. Best of luck for the op and the wait in between. We're thinking of you. xx

I had a missed M/c in May last year

I was 12 weeks, they found out at the scan.

as I was bf dd1 (then 10mthsish) I couldnt take the tablets, so had to have a d&c

It is not a pleasant experience, but the general an. is the best bit, tbh.
Take some peppermint teabgs/cordial for you can have some pain in your stomach after, (I think from trapped wind) but it passes.

lots of love to anyone going through this, try and stay positive I am pg again now with my 2nd baby, Ive had 2 miscarriages in the past.

Sincerely, thanks for the support.
I will tell them fruitbowl, so nice to hear how many ladies sill go on to have healthy pregnancies later...

I had a missed misscarriage about the same time...waited to have the natural miscarriage but it never came and christmas was upon us...so I opted for the D&C and was terrified like you, but honestly it was fine. It is so quick you really don't feel too bad afterwards...actually I felt a lot better after as my hormones must have been a bit more sorted out...anyway, don't worry, it's awful...but you will get past it. I know so many people who have had miscarriages as well as healthy babies....

BumbVLump - I had my D&C two weeks ago and it was fine. I was really surprised at how caring the staff were. I was scared and teary but I had the same nurse with me all morning and she was so lovely. The anesthetist chatted and sympathised and even the consultant, who I though would just come in and 'do the job' made a point of coming to see me for a few minutes before. He said he was sorry for my loss and not to worry it was very common and it wasn't my fault etc etc. I really appreciated the way all the staff seem to treat me very personally and not just as another clinical procedure.

Before the op the nurse gave me some tablets to take to 'start the cervix softening'. She warned me that I may have some pain and bleeding and gave me some painkillers. I wasnt expecting this and got a bit frightened and upset as I thought by having the D&C I was avoiding the pain and bleeding of a natural miscarriage. It wasn't bad though - only like mild period pain.

Then as I was being taken into the theatre I had a moment where I got very upset about 'saying goodbye' to the foetus inside me. Even though it had died ages ago I'd been carrying it for all that time thinking it was alive and getting ready to lose it finally brought up a lot of emotion.

Afterwards I felt fine, in fact I think the combination of painkillers, general anaesthetic and relief meant I was on a real high for the rest of the day!

Over the last 2 weeks I have had bleeding on and off and a few bad days - hormones dropping and just generally getting over the trauma I suppose. I've done my crying in the evening once I'm on my own - duriong the day I keep busy and don't think about it too much. It hasnt helped that one of my closest friends gave birth to her baby 2 days after my mmc was diagnosed. Although obviously I'm so happy for her seeing the new baby has been hard. Generally though I'm feeling much better now - as time passes the pain does fade - and I'm even looking forward to trying again, scary though that will be.

I personally find talking about it helps. There seems to be a tendency for people not to talk about miscarriage but I've told a few friends and found that much easier than constantly pretending everything is fine.

Hi Hairytoe. Thanks for letting us know how you got on. Sounds like you've been v positive which I'm sure has helped your recovery. Keep taking care of yourself.

BumpV - thinking of you. Good luck for Monday if you're still booked for the D&C. Let us know how you're doing xx

HairyToe thanks for that.
The details you descibe make me feel a little more prepared, Im so grateful.
Im sure it will be fine, looking forward to getting some serious drugs! Its wierd coz I have had the week to gather my thoughts and get over it emotionally, but I know tomorrow will be very heavy going and is probably ging to bring it all back and upset me again.
Fruitbowl, thanks for the support. xx
I will keep you posted...
xx

I have also just had my third MMC confirmed by a scan this weekend and am going in for a D and C in the morning (also my third). I have had 3 MMC's now in the last 18 months. The first time I put it down to 'one of those things' the second time I was devastated because I thought everything would be fine and this time I don't know what I feel. I have been expecting this for the last two weeks as I have lost all faith in my body being able to carry a baby past 8 weeks so when the light brown discharge came and my boobs weren't as sore any more I knew it had happened again.
Is there anyone who has had 3 MC's and gone on to a healthy pregnancy? I have a 4 year old boy (who I thank my lucky stars for every day he has kept us sane through all the misses) so how come I could carry him for 9 months and now I can't seem to get past 8 weeks? Maybe it is my age - I am now 36 and regret leaving a three year gap before trying for a second child because now the gap is getting wider and wider each time we MC. Anyway enough rambling - I have been following some of the threads for the last week (first bleeding in pregnancy and now this one) and felt I would benefit from joining in!

teachertalk I could have written your post!

We are in almost identical situations, except I have only had two MCs (a 'normal' one 18 months ago and just discovered today that this pregnancy hasn't developed past 6 weeks, no bleeding at all so a MMC, waiting to confirm D & C). It's taken a year and a half to even conceive after my first MC so we are devastated.

I am also 36, have a 4 year old boy conceived/carried with no problems and exactly the same worries over age gap...we've been trying for no 2 since he was 16 months and can't quite believe we are in this situation now. I feel as if I have been TTC forever and a day.

Very very hard and no answers at moment but wanted to let you know you are not alone in this situation. Hopefully another member can give us some hope!

Thanks for your reply amberflower. Just got home after D and C. Have been very lucky today (if you can call it that), two of the parents of the children I teach were on duty on the ward so they got me a private room, was first on the list for surgery and have even jumped me in the queue for tests to investigate my 'habitual miscarraiges'. So much for keeping it quiet though. Feeling more positive now I know that I don't have to wait 6 months for consultation as time is ticking and I am getting impatient.
Thinking of you going through this horrible time - don't worry about the D and C it is a straight forward procedure with no physical after affects. It is the emotional side that takes longer to heal.

Take care x

Hi all,
My D and C went fine yesterday, just crampy today, and a little drowsy. I also wasn't too bad emotionally yesterday which I am glad about.
Good luck to the rest of you, don't loose hope. I m sure I will be tying again soon...