Missed miscarriage- anyone else experience this b4? need to chat

[nandos]

Hi,
I am going through a miscarriage this week after finding out at 10wks that baby(thats what i prefer to call it-dont mind me) growth is only at 5-6wks. Had no symptoms at all since i found out i was pregnant and the 10wk scan showed only a sac n a yolk. Sonographer said either it stopped growing or my lmp is wrong, which is highly unlikely and i would have to go through a d&c if 2nd scan showed no progress and if i dont have bleeding by next week.
Just would like to share my experience with anyone who went through similar case like mine n we can at least comfort each other in times of sadness ..

im so sorry to hear that ktnixon
it is still a baby no matter what.. and how could they say its a pregnancy tissue after finding no heartbeat!
i know how u feel and i realised even women who had children b4 and suffered a miscarriage, would feel exactly the same as women with no kids who suffered a miscarriage..no less
btw its nice to hear that you have a 3yr old daughter to comfort you in times of need and that you r getting along fine now

Thinking of you nandos, and sending virtual hug x

So sorry you are going through this. I still remember so clearly going for my 12 week scan with DS1 in tow, talking excitedly about his new baby brother or sister and finding out that the baby had died at 9 weeks. Trying to hold it together for his sake was one of the worst days of my life. That was my second m/c - had one before DS1 was born - and I went on to have another two healthy beautiful children so although you never forget the babies you lose, hopefully they will only be part of your story of motherhood. Best of luck.

Sorry to hear that Nandos.

I'd had a missed miscarriage in 2004.
I was about 12 weeks but the baby had only grown to 8 weeks.
Turns out it was a molar pregnancy.

Like you I'd had no symptoms whatsoever, no bleeding or cramps.
It was slightly comforting to know that the baby couldn't have survived anyway (something to do with too many chromesomes).

But, on a happier note the next pregnancy went well and now I've got my lovely dd, so there's still hope!

I've had two missed miscarriages. The first at 12 weeks, showing 8 and the second at 7, showing 5 weeks (twins). The first time was much better as I had another scan quickly and then an ERPC the following day. The second time (different hospital) it dragged on for over 3 weeks before the hospital confirmed what I, the GP (via blood tests) and the sonographer had known within a week . I had an ERPC again.

It's imortant to look after yourself and not underestimate the impact on you. You'll also still have a lot fo hormones flying around your system - so beprepared for ups and downs and just go with the flow.

{{{{{hugs}}}}}

thx for the advice you guys have given me so far..am taking it slowly nowadays.
had spotting today but nothing much to worry cos' last wk the sonograper told me to be prepared in case of heavy bleeding.
will be in for a scan this monday so will let you all know what my outcome is..

Hi Nandos,

We were together on the December thread, and now I guess we can be together here. I just found out yesterday about my mmc. Baby was also gone at 6 weeks, though it took another 4 before we found out. Very sad, so I can appreciate what you're going through.

I hope that it's over quickly for you, whichever course of action you choose to use. My thoughts are with you.

hi nandos, i too had a mmc ... 9 weeks but had died at 5 weeks. i had the d & c and was relieved to get it done although part of me just didn't want to stop being pregnant despite it all. i am sitting here with my beautiful 4 month old dd but it took a long time for her to come so dont give up hope. for me one of the hard things was that, after the initial bit, people did not want to talk about the miscarriage but for me every week felt like an anniversary. wish i had known about mumsnet then as was desperate to talk to people about how i was feeling. dont underestimate how hard it is and how much you need to look after yourself.
take good care

Hi Bcsnowpea,
am so sorry for your news, i remeber the day as if it was yesterday when told the heartbeat was no-longer detected so i know how sad and devastated you must be feeling. Am sending you a hug and tight squeeze my lovely. Takecare and give yourself plenty of time with this both physically and mentally.

Like you Lesleyella, i wished i had known about this site when i had my first mc and mmc, it can be so lonely when ya friends and family are pregnant or have babies and ya still no further forward! Congratulations though on having your dd, it gives others hope!
Takecare everyone
wenXXX.

wenXXX.

bcsnowpeas..
im so sorry for your loss
i just hope you will be strong in the coming months ahead and will be able to start ttc soon.
as for me, i had to go to the epu again today as i had more discharge and feel nausea. at the hospital before the scan they told me to go n pee(usual routine) n i thought i miscarried there n then cos' there were more clots n discharge.
surprisingly at the scan, the sonographer found an embryo measuring abt 6 weeks (im supposed to be 11). she asked to come in 3 days cos' embryo growed to over 4mm in a week.(it measured 5 weeks last week when i should be 10)

i cried after the results cos im in a deeper limbo right now then last week.
i know my dates r not wrong cos' i had a pregnancy test in late march n i should be 11 now, not six.
there is no heartbeat today ..and last week she thought its likely to be missed miscarriage due to my dates.
i dont know when this is going to continue but im really scared cos' i know the outcome of this kind of abnormal pregnancy usually is not good
will let u guys know next week cos' she said next week is the time when heartbeat is usually seen ..

Hi nandos, I just read your post on the december due thread. Good luck with your scan, I hope that you get the best of news.

As for me, hospital refused a d&c since I wasn't in pain and some bleeding had already started (also I suspect because I don't have insurance). I'm finally cramping and passing it all out. DH and I have decided to wait for a while before we try again, until my cycle gets back to normal, but I'm really glad (though also very sad) that my body is finally healing and moving on after almost five weeks.

Very, very sad though

Oh well, back to uni work.

thx bcsnowpea
btw pls take a lot of rest cos' your body needs it.
like someone on another thread said, its still in its early stages and the loss is not as bad as a fully formed baby..so take it a bit easy and if u are sad, theres always someone here to talk to ..

Nandos I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. It's cruel isn't it? I had a mmc detected at the 12 week scan where baby only measured 6 weeks. You think you've got through the first trimester and are just getting excited that you can announce your news and it all comes crashing down. It's horrible isn't it? Sending you lots of hugs. I found the best thing for me was to keep busy, but we are all different so do whatever you need to do. Chocolate is also good

Hi nandos, i think we were on the same december due date thread. How things change. Well im here too, after spotting for a week, then heavier bleeding for 2 days last weekend (at a wedding!), went for scan on monday to find same thing - no growth after 6 weeks and 4 days, even though i thought i was 11 weeks.it is awful isnt it!! lying on the bed hearing no heartbeat and waiting for the confirmation, hideous! oddly enough, after finding out the pregnancy wasnt viable on monday, i had much more blood straight away, then awful cramps and blood tuesday evening - ie like my brain had then told my body the sad news and my body acted accordingly. All i can say is it's now 5 days since i found out, and now i have the pregnancy out of me, you DO start to feel better. the worst bit was waiting for it to pass. I actualy booked in for D&C after the cramps as hadnt had much blood. But we insisted on scan in hospital, husband said "how can we make in formed decision about whether to have D&C if we dont know if the pregnancy has passed". They even did internal exam and confirmed the pregnancy hadnt passed as cervix was closed. But again we insisted. Which paid off. Was all booked in for D&C but scan showed it had passed already. i am taking another week off work just to check im not too wobbly. but i am being firm that it wasnt a baby - just a cell. It's my hopes and dreams of a baby that are lost, not an actual baby as it never was one. That has really helped me. Also my husband saying "we were fine before we had a baby, we can feel fine again soon". dont know if that helps you but it really helps me! take good care, you are not alone xx

ps this was my first pregnancy...

Hi

I recognise a few of you from the December 08 thread. The same has just happened to me as well (started bleeding on Thursday two days before 12 week scan, had emergency scan, discovered the baby died about 5 weeks ago). I had a 'proper' missed MC three years ago as well so I know what that feels like too. This time it was slightly different because I had bleeding first which warned me something was up. I'm still just bleeding like a period but feel so tired (just slept for 1 1/2 hours) and empty. It's just the pits, isn't it? The pregnancy symptoms have more or less gone now too which has been hard to deal with. I feel lucky though as I have had two successful pregnancies and know that it can happen again, hopefully.

sorry to hear your sad news too becky. im really scared it will happen again, i couldnt bear it, this was my first pregnancy. Does anyone know how long you have to wait till trying again? dr's said wait one period so you can get correct dates. but i dont care about dates, will be able to check that thro a scan. i want to be pregnant again asap but dont want to risk mc again by trying too soon. dr said something about lining of womb needs to be re made, ie wait a period, but on web searches this seems not to be the case according to web based dr's, anyone got any clues on this one?

I've never heard that lining of the womb thing before. The first time I had a MC they told me to wait for one period and that was very hard for me as I was desparate to get pregnant. This time the doctor told me that they say wait for one period just to get the dates right if you get pregnant again straight away (straight from the horse's mouth!) and told me that I could start trying again as soon as I felt ready. Worrying about a MC happening again is completely natural. I know a few people who had a MC on their first pregnancy and then had healthy pregnancies and there is no way of knowing whether you will have a successful pregnancy next time around until you try. I had a healthy pregnancy first time around then an MC, then another healthy pregnancy and now another MC. I'm scared about doing it again as well and my mum upset me yesterday as she basically advised me against it because she is worried about the impact another MC would have on me but my answer to her was that maternal instinct is very strong and makes it all worth it in the end. Good luckxxx.

Oh Emma and Becky, I'm so sorry to hear your news, but I'm glad that you found this thread. Strange as it may sound, I like having the solidarity of those who were on the same pregnancy thread. Maybe we'll see each other again on later pregnancy threads.

Just to throw in my two cents, neither the GP nor hospital gave me advice about conceiving again, and I really wasn't in a state to ask, but everything I've heard since agrees with what you've both said. They prefer to have correct LMP dates, and I think it might be reassuring to know that your body is cycling correctly. However, waiting any longer is mostly recommended for you to grieve, though I know we all grieve differently, and I'm really keen to try asap.

On my front, I've had miniscule bleeding of old blood for just under a week now and I'm so keen for it to be over. Then again, it hasn't even been three weeks since my first spotting. I hope it's complete without a d&c, but I'm playing the wait and see game.

Good luck to you both, my best wishes fly around the world to you.

how sad but reassuring that a few from the Dec thread are here. i have almost stopped bleeding now, but still very sore belly (womb area) so cant really start trying yet due to that. plus feel completely wiped out, even 15 min walk to shop makes me need to lie down. taking all this coming week off work (and took last week off work too). Think i will do pregnancy test at the end of this coming week, as want that to be negative before i start trying again. couldnt bear to think i was pregnant and then it to just be because the old HCG hormones from miscarriage pregnancy were still in my system. i hear they can hang around for weeks, giving a positive pregnancy test reading. will be sad im sure to do the test and have it positive, knowing im not
my partner has been great, especially when i was so ill in the week. but now he's sort of "over" it. truth is, im not. emotionally im still grieiving. might call a helpline number i saw in my hospital. My cousin was/is the same amount pregnant as i was. and we were so looking forward to going through the pregnancy together. that is going to be the hardest for me - as im sure i'll keep thinking that i would have been that pregnant. any tips on how to deal with that? what can i tell her about how i feel? she's a pscyhologist so will know i am bound to feel a bit sad around her. but at same time i want to be happy for her.

I think it is almost worse when you start to feel better. I cried when DH asked me if I wanted wine last night as I did but I didn't want to want wine because that was like admitting it was nearly all over. I feel wiped out too. I had an hour long afternoon nap yesterday and could have done with the same today. Today I was getting cabin fever so I persuaded everyone to come shopping with me. I felt so tired and wiped out. I walked around clutching my aching stomach just wanting to sit down.

I have a similar problem to you emmapp in that two very close ex-colleagues of mine are pregnant and due end Nov, early Dec and they've just had their 12 week scans and are over the moon happy etc. One of them has been trying for two years and she has a bowel condition which she thought would prevent her having children so I can't fail to be happy for her. It is hard but I think you just have to admit to your cousin that you are grieving and sad about what has happened to you. I think if I were the pregnant one I would want you to talk about it to me and admit how you feel. When I first fell pregnant I was too scared to tell different friend of mine who had recently had a MC and now I've had a MC too I regret not being brave enough to talk to her. I think your cousin will respect your honesty and will expect you to find it tough.

oh my god im the same becky! had wine tonight fot the first time (felt too ill with stomach cramps and no energey to drink before now) and it was like a real "mark" that i wasnt pregnant, to be able to drink. sad. yes, your right, i have to be honest with my cousin, it would be weird to pretend im fine. i sympathise about the shopping spree, we've bought a 37inch HD tv and other stuff that we really didnt need as were previously saving for a baby...and all the time i had bad stomach on the shopping trip. take good care of yourself. your not alone and it WILL get easier

So sorry to hear these sad stories. I had a missed miscarriage in December, exactly the same thing happened to me, and I was quite traumatised after letting it all happen naturally, the hospital had not told me what to expect. I was emotionally much more affected than I expected to be, more even than at the scan when I was told the baby had died.

I couldn't telly my family or husband how bad I felt because I didn't want them to know I was that upset. I came to mumsnet and wept and just put down everything that had happened and some lovely people here made me feel normal and a lot better.

I always imagined I was the kind of person who wouldn't be sentimental about it, and would think 'oh, there was something wrong with that baby, I'll try again', but it was definitely one of the saddest times of my life. I am 12 weeks pregnant now and will not relax for at least some weeks to come. I hope everyone going through this right now stays safe, surrounds themselves with love, and takes things exactly as quickly as they can manage.

Thank you for sharing your story EBenes.

hello everyone..
its sad to see quite a handful of Dec thread members in this section but i hope everyone of us will have a successful pregnancy in the near future.
as for me, i am feeling much better today as theres lesser cramps and bleeding has stopped completely. thinking of doing another scan but might check with a hpt before doing that.
its weird today cos' i feel like im ovulating due to the egg-white thingy (is that possible right after mc?) i want to get pregnant asap but at the same time i dont know if im mentally ready for it..