D&C tomorrow- so scared

[W1ll0WLouise]

Hi everyone,
I have had a whirlwind two weeks, in which I went for an early pregnancy scan to be told no viable foetus and possible retained products of conception/partial molar pregnancy. Got referred to EPU, who did bloods which all reflected pregnancy (hcg around 9000 and then went up to above 15000 after 3 days). So not particularly high but also not low. They scanned me and said PUL, to come back again in a week. Fast forward a week and they have said it’s either retained products of conception or molar pregnancy and I’ve got to have a D&C Tuesday 😢

I am absolutely terrified. I have got two young children at home. I’ve never had general anaesthetic and am consumed with anxiety about the what ifs? Just looking for some hand holds. Also does anyone know if I could request for a local anaesthetic instead?
thanks
xxx

Hi, I’m so sorry for your loss. I had a D&C at the end of last year, similar to you I had a missed miscarriage and then there were concerns after my surgery about a partial molar pregnancy.

I had general anaesthetic and to be honest I don’t think I would have wanted local even if it was offered. I was so anxious beforehand but the hospital process itself was so straightforward. I went in first thing, had the surgery and was home by midday. I didn’t have much bleeding after and just had a few mild cramps that evening but not enough to take painkillers.

The nurses who looked after me were so kind and it was all done very quickly. I hope that reassures you a bit but if there’s anything specific you’d like to know I’m happy to answer xx

Thankyou so much for replying :)
I am so sorry for your loss too- it’s such an awful thing to go through and I really do empathise with all women that have been through this. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

That’s interesting that you also had a potential molar as from what I’ve read it’s super rare! What were the outcomes from it and how are you now 🫶🏻

Im just scared with general I won’t ever wake up and leave the kids behind. Im in such a hormonal/anxious place right now :(

I've had one and physically it was really good, very civilised compared with my natural miscarriage. The worst bit was the waiting to go down to theatre but dh was allowed to wait with me and all the staff were really nice. I was first on the list. It's a bit disconcerting when you wake up in a different place to where you went to sleep but everything else was fine. Emotionally I was a wreck but physically it was really ok. Dh and I had a chilled out evening at home that day and then I was fine looking after the dc (aged 5, 3 and nearly 1) after the in-laws brought them back the next morning.

Thanks so much for replying. I am sure once it’s over tomorrow I will be an emotional wreck once it all kicks in
so sorry for your loss
xx

wow 3 babies! I have two girls age 5 and 2 🥰

I’m sorry you’re having such a difficult time. I had a missed miscarriage before and had much the same fears as you about being put to sleep and leaving my toddler behind. I elected for an MVA which basically a D&C but with local anaesthetic that they injected into my cervix. Have they not offered you that option or perhaps you could ask them?

So sorry you’re going through this. I’ve had to have surgical management after 2 miscarriages and hope my experiences helps calm your nerves a little. The waiting to go down is probably the worst so hope you have someone with you for company as time can drag, but once they take you down and administer the anaesthetic (fine even for a wimp like me who feels sick at the thought of needles) you’re waking up again before you know it. When I woke up I had no pain, and the best way to describe it is I felt like I do when I wake from an accidental nap, you know the initial couple of seconds thinking huh? Then it all makes sense…and you’re happy to be awake! Staff took such good care of me and I was allowed to go after I’d had a drink, bite to eat and a wee. After the first I had very minimal bleeding for a couple of days and after the second I had a fair bit on my first 2 trips to the loo but barely anything after. I lay around on the sofa the next couple of days after both, but that was just because I could, if I needed to I would’ve been fine up and about.
I hope this helps, happy to answer any questions. Take care x

Hey everyone, so sorry to hear about your losses, it really is an awful situation to be in.

I went to the EPU on Thurs with slight pain and a touch of blood on the tissue the previous night, I was 9+6 and was told they couldn’t find a heartbeat. I was then told to think about my options and call back once I’d decided. I called the Fri and they told me to come in Tues am.

I just wanted to give a hand hold because I have been googling for info as I too am having surgery tomorrow, but with local anaesthetic.
Im so nervous, it’s the first time I have ever experienced anything like this and I also have three children to look after.
After speaking to a few people and some relatives, I thought it may be better to go under general, but the soonest date is 1st Nov which is too long for me to wait as I don’t want it to happen naturally at home with the kids around.

From what I’ve been told, having the general is a lot better as you don’t see or hear anything because you’re asleep.
I know it’s scary, but you’ll be home in no time back to your little girls.

Wishing you luck and hope it all goes smoothly tomorrow xx

I'm so sorry, @W1ll0WLouise. I took a photo of my other child with me to have by my bedside while I was recovering. It made me sad when I was going down to theatre (so I cried a lot - naturally), but it was lovely to go back to the ward and see it.
Maybe that would help you too?

I'm sorry you are going through this. I had a MMC between my boys. The D&C was a day surgery and the staff were so lovely. My op was the day before DS1's first birthday party which was hard but I felt physically ok if a little tired. My MIL was poorly so we hadn't told DH's family as didn't want to distress them all further.

Hello OP, I am so sorry for your loss and current situation. Life can be so cruel at times .

I have had 2 x missed miscarriages now and had to have surgical management with both . My first was during Covid and I had a local anaesthetic. To be honest I found it uncomfortable and quite upsetting. The recovery was fine but I struggled with the procedure and was very emotional the whole time I was there .

For my 2nd I had a general anaesthetic and this was so much different. Like what others have said it's the waiting to go into theatre that's the worst . I preferred being asleep and not being aware of what's happening . You will feel a bit groggy afterwards but I was home that evening and comfortable in my own bed x

@vipersnest1 I’ve just dropped my eldest off at school and was sobbing all the way home. It’s definitely going to be an emotional day. I will definitely take a picture that’s a lovely idea xx

@CrazyIsLife how are you doing honey xxx

@W1ll0WLouise I’m in a bit of pain after having the first part done, on my way back to the hospital now to have the main part done. Still in a bit of shock I think, thanks for asking
How are you doing? X

I'm so sorry for your loss. Please don't worry about the anaesthetic - I've had 3 lots of surgical management, plus another 2 general anaesthetics for other surgeries. I always say I wake up feeling refreshed! There's always someone monitoring your vitals so closely to keep you safe x

Hi everyone! Sorry for the delay. The anaesthetist was absolutely amazing. Listened to me about my worries so did it under a spinal instead. It was a really light one so I didn’t need a catheter and could get back to normal quicker. Downside was I did feel some discomfort but it was over so quickly! He also gave me something that he said would relax me and it felt like a large glass of red wine by the fireplace is the best way to describe it. So not all bad.

They are sending the tissue off to histology for testing- not sure how normal that is?

overall had some cramping since and bleeding. Back home by 5pm in my own bed and clothes.

hope this reassures anyone xx

@CrazyIsLife how did it all go? I didn’t have two stages to mine. Did they give you the pessary first?
hope you’re feeling ok xxx

@W1ll0WLouise Morning, how are you doing?
I just read your last post, sounds like it went better than anticipated and you almost were relaxed which is a positive in all the sadness.

To answer to your question about sending tissue off, I’m pretty sure they do that with most just to rule out molar pregnancies or if it’s suspected, unless you really don’t want them to test. I had to fill in a consent form y’day allowing them to send some of the tissue away to test.

I’m a bit ashamed to say that I don’t really understand all terms and what happens with a mc or mmc as I’ve never had one nor do I have any friends (that I know anyway) that have been through it until now so it’s been a pretty lonely time since finding out last Thurs.

I had a MVA under local, but very nearly didn’t as she explained I was on the cusp of cut off (10wks, I was 9+6) point where the only option is under GA. I explained that even though I was scared, I’d rather have the surgery under local because it was the only option available y’day and my kids were at school. If I had it under GA I’d have to wait until Nov 1st and my kids would be on half term so it’d be harder and I didn’t want it to possibly happen at home.
She spoke to her superior and they agreed to do it and the superior would do the surgery herself which was comforting.

This happened at my first appt at 9am, I then had something called Dilapan inserted into my cervix which was to help open it slowly then had some bloods done.

I then had to return to the hospital at 2pm for the main part, I had planned to use my AirPods as not to her anything, but didn’t want to leave my OH sat there alone so I opted to leave them and I actually didn’t hear much. They were very mindful and kept everything hidden as I’d asked, I had gas and air which was helpful, but still felt quite painful and I have a high pain threshold.

I was in a lot of pain afterwards and it truly felt like I’d just given birth, I was squatting which was the most comfortable as I couldn’t sit at all.
I was monitored for 30mins and once I’d eaten, had a drink and passed urine, I could go home.
I would never opt for that procedure again as being aware of it all was heartbreaking and something I’ll have to live with - it was very painful, but this morning I’m feeling a lot better physically and I’m not bleeding unless I wipe.

Sorry for the essay!!
How are you feeling? Are you in a lot of pain, if any?
I feel like the emotional part is going to be much harder than the physical side for me, I hope you’ve got support at home and thank you for reaching out to me xx

@W1ll0WLouise I had tissue sent to histology from all of mine, my hospital does it for everyone to make sure there wasn't a partial molar pregnancy I believe x

@W1ll0WLouise i’m really sorry for your loss. But I’m glad the surgery went ok as can be. I had a partial molar earlier this year, so feel free to reach out once you get your results from histology if they were still wondering about it being that

@CrazyIsLife so nice to hear from you.
Bless you, it sounds like it was all quite traumatic. I can’t believe they would make you wait till November for GA- that’s awful and I don’t blame you for wanting it over with. It’s such a horrible thought to want to wish it to be done, but in the same breath, you just want to start the grieving.

I was in pain afterwards also, would say it was like early labour pains. But today the pain is mainly all in my back and bum, which I’m guessing is from the spinal (so from my own doing for asking for that instead of GA). I feel like I’m a bit stiff with my walking today too.

what’s weird is I still feel pretty much the same (but pregnancy wise) as I did. Very tired and sore boobs. But I’m guessing that will ease as the days past.

such an awful experience and I’m so sad it’s something that seems to be so common for women to go through. Since I’ve opened up, quite a few of my friends have come forward saying they have had something similar done, however all under GA so there experience was actually overall a little more positive than mine.

i just remember crying in theatre and the doctor being concerned asking if id had a bad experience in hospital before and that’s why i was so upset… no not at all! I’m a nurse for goodness sake. But for me, the whole process of going to hospital and being in a theatre for anything other than the joy of having a baby is truly depressing. I didn’t really want to go through why I felt so upset with the process of having something removed from me which I was so hopeful for could be so depressing. But hey.

My bleeding today has been pretty minimal. How about you? And how’s your mental health xxx

@W1ll0WLouise, @CrazyIsLife and anyone else affected, I know how hard this can be to deal with.
I can look back it now and not feel as much pain, but nearly twenty years on I can still feel the complete despair I felt at that moment.
I think the most difficult thing with a MMC (it certainly was for me) is that you can feel almost tricked by your own body - that it carried on as if you still had a viable pregnancy.
Virtual hugs to all - be kind to yourselves.

@W1ll0WLouise
How are you feeling today?

Yes quite a while for GA, the Dr apologised and said the worst isn’t usually that long so I can only imagine there’s been a few more women than usual going through the same thing &/or staff shortage.
Completely agree with the statement of wanting it to be over so badly, but then at the same time it means my pregnancy is officially over too which I didn’t want 💔

How is your walking today, are you still feeling stiff and pain in your back/bum?
Apart from a few cramps I’m okay pain wise, no bleeding either unless I wipe, but not enough to have to wear a pad. Boobs are still a bit sore and still can’t stand the smell of onions, but like you I’m sure that will taper off soon.

I’ve also had some friends open up about their own experiences and a family member who experienced four mc when I was a little girl. It’s definitely helped to speak up and be open about it to some people and speaking on here has also been helpful and comforting - so thank you 💖
It definitely isn’t spoken about enough, I feel shame for daring to be excited about our May baby that we’ll now never meet.

Your experience sounds pretty traumatic too in terms of your emotions, it’s so overwhelming and we can’t control how, why or when it happened.

MH isn’t the greatest, I’m up and down, my kids are keeping me busy which helps, but things like today, it was around this time last Thurs that I was told so anything that reminds me seems to trigger me. There’s another pregnancy in the family and she’s due Christmas which was when we were planning to tell the rest of the family, it’s now difficult being around her which to an extent is almost unavoidable.
How are you coping? Are your daughters keeping your mind off things too? X

@vipersnest1 Sorry to hear you also experienced this pain, thank you for your kind words, it’s helpful to know the pain eases in time. X

@CrazyIsLife how are you doing today?

I swapped to wearing a panty liner today as I was only really spotting and not filling a bad. But I’m suddenly now bleeding heavy and have got cramps that are quite bad. Bit worried. I have just read online that day 3 you can start bleeding due to hormones so hopefully it’s that.

my girls are 100% taking my mind off things. It’s just the evenings when it’s hard as it’s quiet then and I have time to think x
How are you holding up

Morning @W1ll0WLouise

How are you doing?

Im feeling okay-ish today, however I feel really anxious, I have anxiety anyway, but it’s like I feel really needy atm. I’m usually very independent so feeling like I need to be glued to my OH is unusual for me, although he doesn’t mind.

Y’day was hard for me, I should’ve been 11wks so was very teary, I’ve deleted my apps so I don’t have anymore notifications about progress and size of baby etc.

How is the bleeding today?
Are you still getting the cramps?
I’ve had no bleeding at all really except the day of the surgery. Haven’t had to use a single pad yet, but I get cramps at points which hurt a bit. I did read and was told about there being a drop in hormones at some point so to be aware of a sudden wave/change and that it’s normal.

Im glad your girls are keeping you busy, mine are at their dads this weekend so although its nice to get a break, like you the quiet times are when I find it hard.
Is your eldest on half term now? If so have you got anything planned or are you going to take it easy? X

I've had two OP and one medical management.
The D&C is honestly fine, you won't feel anything and for me I wasn't even particularly sore after. Honestly I felt relief that my miscarriage was finally over with both times. One thing is that when you're lying on the table just before you are put to sleep you might feel very emotional. I actually started bubbling right before they put me to sleep the first time. I guess in that moment you feel very vulnerable but they are lovely and reassuring. I promise you, the thought of it is worse than doing it. Sending hugs x