How soon to go back to work after miscarriage? Any advice please...

[purplegryffon]

Hi, just posted on another thread about miscarrying at 5 weeks. Obviously am devastated as we were TTC for ages and were just so happy. But now this has happened I don't know what to do about work. My boss took me to the hospital today & I have since texted him the news so he knows the situation.
Am supposed to work tomorrow, Mon, Wed, Thu & Fri this week - am a nurse doing 7.30 - 5.00 shifts. I'd like to take the week so I can get my head straight and pack since we are moving house in 4 weeks too. But is this too much? I feel a bit of a fraud as I don't feel physically ill - just a head case right now.
Any ideas of what I should do? Anyone been in a similar situation?

purplegryffen -just popped in to see how you were getting on and whether or not the time off was helping?

Sorry to hear of everyone's losses.

Hi Merry... Thanks for checking in on me... I am doing ok... And I am glad of the time off... We are moving house tomorrow!!! It's crap/good timing... But it's given me something else to think about...DP has been a star - helped me pack, and has arranged 'the boys' to come round tomorrow to do all the lugging about...
I still have 'off moments' - the pain hits unexpectedly and I'm seeing pregnant women everywhere! I get upset & then have to kick myself up the arse - new start and all that... I rebelled today by having my hair dyed pillar box red and black at the hairdressers!!! lol - cheered me up anyway - although God only knows what work will say when I go back...
Another stupid thing (sorry about the offload) I just read a thread entitled bleeding in first trimester... I don't know why but I got my hopes up - maybe the m/c didn't happen??? God that sounds pathetic typing it - but I thought - maybe I'm still PG? Took a test - of course it says 'not pregnant' - what the chuff was I thinking??? And I'm a psychiatric nurse! I should know better... So got upset all over again... It's only been a week so I guess I can be forgiven - but honestly...
How's your day?

Ah Purple, I've been there peeing on the sticks although you know the outcome already!. They refused to scan me at the hospital after my second m/c as I said I had done a negative test but even then there was a small part of me that thought I may have forgotten how to read and the baby would be fine!

Glad to hear you had your hair dyed it's a positive step and I'm loving the colours.

Everyones different with these things but after the first week I did have to make a decision that for my own sanity I would focus on what I had, rather than what I had lost. So it was the hairdressers and a champagne dinner with my husband to celebrate each other and the fact that we now knew after 8 months of trying that we could get pregnant etc, for me. Although it's not everyones way it was good for me forcing me to look forward not back. There were still tears after this but it was a definite turning point.

I hope those "boy's" did good and you are settling into your new home which will hopefully be one of only good and happy memories

This has just happened to me last week. I was 5 weeks and two days pregnant and started spotting. The spotting led on to heavy bleeding and last Friday I found out that I had had a miscarriage. Last week during the bleeding I self-certified. This week I have a sick note, but I'm not sure whether to use it. I'm a teacher at a secondary and it is manic and stressful at the best of times, but staying at home and struggling to find something to hold my attention and fill my time is getting quite bad.

I feel like if I don't go into work this week, when I finally go in there will be way too much for me to do work wise. I know I shouldn't be thinking about that right now.

All I want is for everything to go back to normal, for the next cycle to hurry up so that I can keep trying again.

The last pregnancy wasn't planned; however, I realised now that I wanted it so much that I feel so desperate to get pregnant again. I know that desperation isn't a good thing, but at the moment I can't help feeling like that.

My gp said I’d be better off getting back to work. He said he was willing to give me a note, but that I should suck it up because early miscarriages are very common. I was 4+5. I was sent home from work one day (I was very nauseous and dizzy). It was a Friday. I went back to work on the Tuesday.

I think it was probably too soon. I’m a secondary teacher, and not being quite 100% means you get eaten alive.

Oh and my gp is an asshole.

I had an mmc at 12 weeks and my boss knew about the situation and was great. He told me to take what I needed, so I had about a week and a half off. Looking back I think I went back too soon and could have done with another week really but had to go back for financial reasons really. In short just do what's best for you. I hope you're doing okay considering, I know first hand how devestating it is, no matter what stage of pregnancy it was still your baby and I find people who haven't been in our position can be really hurtful through lack of understanding so I hope you have people close around you when you need them x

Thanks Kej13. I ended up going back on Tuesday afternoon this week. I had no lessons, so I ended up going in to get myself sorted out for the next day. I'm glad I went back in a way, as it has been tonnes better than sitting dwelling on everything at home. The only problem is people have been asking me if I'm okay, and since I only told the bare minimum at work I found it hard to pretend I was okay without tearing up.

My head of department and the rest of the department have been supportive. My family have also been supportive. I just want to stop feeling like this and I want to be able to try again.

That's good! It's different for everyone. I didn't tell my parents but DHs knew and a few friends and not everyone has been as supportive as we'd imagined! I'm glad you've got great people around you and I hope you get a BFP soon 😊 X