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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

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Original poster

How long should you wait for medical or surgical intervention?

30 replies

misssunshine86 · 01/02/2024 23:06

Hi
I started bleeding yesterday AM at 11 weeks. I got sent to a&e, not EPU. After 6 hours a&e child gynaecologist informed me that they have no scanner so I'll have to wait for a scan at EPU sometime this week. I went home via a Hey Baby scanning centre and confirmed the baby stopped growing at 7 weeks 4 days.

I have a 4 year old and now apparently after going to EPU today, I have to just wait for it all to pass, what if it's while I'm looking after her. I just wanted a MVA today so that I can move on. They won't offer me anything, even pills, until Monday. Is this normal? I just want to move on. I tried via my private health and still just nothing. I can't face having contractions and waking my daughter up. Why don't they help you sooner?

OP posts:

user1488042156 · 01/02/2024 23:39

Hello, sorry for your loss.

I started bleeding at 14+6 and when scanned (I just so happened to have a sexing scan booked for that day) baby had stopped growing at 12+2. Attended EPU 48 hours later who confirmed loss and my options were to wait until the following Sunday to see if it passes by myself, or medical management the following day, which I opted for.
However, I ended up having contractions and passing the baby at home that evening.

Call EPU for advice, they should be able to give you some options.

user1488042156 · 01/02/2024 23:41

Just to add - I had opted for medical because I didn't want to go through it all at home as I have a 6 year old and a then 7 month old. Luckily (I guess) it happened late at night when everyone was asleep. I did end up in hospital where the bereavement team were amazing but I think I was in shock and it all felt like an out of body experience.

Plumbibii · 01/02/2024 23:46

I had a miscarriage 5 days ago on sunday. I decided i wanted surgical management, they offered me a slot on Wednesday but i ended up passing the pregnancy on monday evening. Contractions lasted for an hour, manageable with 2 paracetamol and 2 ibuprofen. Called EPU and told them about heavy bleed, they scanned me on Wednesday morning and decided surgical was no longer needed. I am surprised to hear your experiences as to why you are not offered the surgical management straight away.

TheShellBeach · 01/02/2024 23:49

I'm so sorry you've lost your baby.

I agree that surgical management should be available immediately for women who want it.

Original poster

misssunshine86 · 02/02/2024 04:06

All of the options (surgical and medical) are only available to me from Monday.

OP posts:

Meadowfinch · 02/02/2024 04:12

I'm sorry for your loss.

Yes, that sounds fairly standard. Most miscarriages happen at home with little management, as far as I know. It can be a sad and lonely time. I hope you have your partner with you. x

Madwife123 · 02/02/2024 04:15

I’m guessing the wait until Monday is due to theatre / bed availability. I’m sorry you’re having to deal with this.

Original poster

misssunshine86 · 02/02/2024 11:30

Thanks
I just feel stuck. I can't go far this weekend incase it happens naturally, I just want to move on now

OP posts:

Plumbibii · 02/02/2024 14:00

The waiting game is hard, on one hand you are trying to cope with the loss and on the other you can't move on.
I'd advise you to stock up on heavy pads just in case.

clhiu · 03/02/2024 07:58

Hi @misssunshine86 I’m really sorry this is happening to you, it’s really sad and stressful at the same time not knowing what’s going to happen and not getting appropriate support.
I had 2 missed miscarriages diagnosed at a scan, both times I was referred to EPU right away and they offered surgical, however I still had to wait about a week both times simply due to surgeon, beds and theatre availability. I didn’t pass anything naturally at all either times during that wait.
Unfortunately it’s impossible to know how things may go as everyone’s body and every pregnancy is completely different. I hope you can see someone at EPU and be given some guidance first thing Monday and I hope nothing passes up to then, but that doesn’t make the worry go away, I am sorry 💔

Original poster

misssunshine86 · 03/02/2024 08:12

Thank you.
It all passed early this morning. I can't contact the EPU over the weekend so I don't know what to do about my appointment on Monday morning.

OP posts:

Original poster

misssunshine86 · 03/02/2024 08:15

I'm so sorry for your losses. I'm glad you were treated properly. Relatively. I am going to complain about my a&e expriences when I get chance.

OP posts:

FullMoon1917 · 03/02/2024 08:17

@misssunshine86 i hope it wasnt too traumatic and that you are no longer in pain or bleeding heavily. They will want to scan you on Monday to check nothing has been left behind, but call first thing on Monday to let them know.

Also I think if you have collected anything they can also get it tested for molar pregnancy. I did this and am currently waiting for the results, but I know most people don't collect it.

Original poster

misssunshine86 · 03/02/2024 08:24

The only thing is my appt was at 8.45 at it doesn't open until 8.30 on the phone lines. So I'll have to just set off anyway.

OP posts:

IBegYourBiggestPardon · 03/02/2024 08:31

I would still go to your appointment on Monday. Just to be on the safe side. I thought I'd passed everything, but as it turned out I still had retained tissue.

Original poster

misssunshine86 · 03/02/2024 12:00

I will. Thanks. Is it normal to feel weak and still be bleeding heavily the next day?

OP posts:

PoppingTomorrow · 03/02/2024 12:04

misssunshine86 · 02/02/2024 04:06

All of the options (surgical and medical) are only available to me from Monday.

I'm sorry for your loss.

I would have not expected surgical management to be available same day. And I understand why they want you to have a scan at EPU before treatment is offered

FullMoon1917 · 03/02/2024 12:07

Yes you've lost a lot of blood and can bleed for some time. Mine lasted a good week somewhat heavy then spotting for another week. Rest as much as you can. If youre flooding pads every 20 minutes for more than a few hours though they say to go to A&E but i get any reservations you have there given your previous experience

TheShellBeach · 03/02/2024 12:19

misssunshine86 · 03/02/2024 12:00

I will. Thanks. Is it normal to feel weak and still be bleeding heavily the next day?

You must be feeling awful, OP. What a difficult time emotionally this is.

You probably haven't passed everything yet.
You need to go to your appointment to be scanned, to see how much has been retained.

If you need to change your pad hourly, or the pain ramps up, you should go to A and E.

I'm so sorry you're going through this.

(BTW did you realise that the Reply button on Mumsnet is broken? To respond to someone, you have to click on the three dots and select QUOTE)

TheShellBeach · 03/02/2024 12:23

The reason we're suggesting the possibility of A and E is because there can be very severe haemorrhage with a miscarriage.

I was shocked by the size of the clots I passed - and it wasn't even over. There was a lot of retained tissue. I needed surgery and a blood transfusion.

So do keep an eye on it.

Original poster

misssunshine86 · 03/02/2024 12:40

Thank you everyone.
It is so hard.
My little girl doesn't understand at all as normally even when I'm ill I power through for her.

OP posts:

IBegYourBiggestPardon · 03/02/2024 15:27

misssunshine86 · 03/02/2024 12:00

I will. Thanks. Is it normal to feel weak and still be bleeding heavily the next day?

I did for 5 weeks. That was before they realised I still had the retained tissue though. After that I was given misoprostol on the Thursday afternoon and by the Saturday the rest came away. I think I bled for a few more days after but it was much lighter. I didn't get my period back properly for a few months but we'd decided to give ttc a break for 6 months anyway due to it being my 4th miscarriage and 3rd one within 8 months.

TheShellBeach · 06/02/2024 21:12

How are you now, OP?

Original poster

misssunshine86 · 07/02/2024 13:09

Thanks so much for asking.
I feel l really bad for not giving support back just so overewhelmed mentally.
The actual physical process seems to be progressing well I'm just struggling mentally. I've had to go back to work, as my work has completely backed up however now my 4 year old is off sick and I just can't do this. I'm sitting in a room crying. I just fucking can't work and parent at the same time whilst processing all this. I just don't know what to do but a grandparent would sure be helpful right now.

OP posts:

FullMoon1917 · 07/02/2024 13:53

@misssunshine86 i am so sorry you have got all that to deal with. Is there anyone you can ask for help either with your child or with work?

This may sound odd and probably isnt healthy but i think i just pushed it all down and didn't let myself think about the reality of what happened and thats probably how i was able to continue working (though i had 2 days off for the surgery that didn't happen).

Someone said that when you have a miscarriage all the women before are holding your hand, and i hope you know we are all thinking of you and hope things get better. It will get better in time i promise xxxx

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