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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

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Original poster

No heartbeat at 20 week scan

40 replies

Hopelessmumma · 18/12/2023 21:59

Hi We went for our 20 week scan and found that baby did not have heartbeat... Based on the measurements, she was measuring 20 weeks 2 days which was what the actual age was as well... Wondering if that means she left us pretty recently like 2-3 days ago or even maybe today

I caught a bad cold and cough over the past week and was asked to take amoxicillin antibiotics ... I am hoping that didn't cause this as the doctors and midwives repeatedly said that was ok

..I am so heartbroken it was our first pregnancy and I have had a pretty difficult last couple of months and I was so hoping to start enjoying the good part of pregnancy and starting to feel her movements but this has just broken me and my husband... We did a private scan at 17 weeks and everything looked normal and growth was going as expected... Just sitting here thinking what went wrong as I didn't catch any indication that she was in pain or something..sorry for my incoherent rant probably.. Just hoping to figure out how to process all of this

OP posts:

Yesididntdothat · 18/12/2023 22:07

I am so, so sorry. You must be in such shock just now. Maybe you will get some answers in the coming weeks - however this won't take away your loss. I hope you can be kind to yourself and have someone to share your sadness with.

Serene135 · 18/12/2023 22:07

Get a second opinion i.e. have a second scan to be 100% sure. It seems strange that they said no heartbeat when the baby is measuring 20 weeks 2 days. Good luck and a big hug 💐

tenbob · 18/12/2023 22:12

I’m so sorry for your loss.

The hospital will have a specialist bereavement midwife who will be able to help you through the coming weeks, including making sure your questions around antibiotics are properly answered (antibiotics are safe during pregnancy, but you don’t need an internet random to tell you. You need to hear it from a consultant)

Be kind to yourself and reach out to any organisations who can help with counselling etc when you feel ready 💐💐

vipersnest1 · 18/12/2023 22:12

@Hopelessmumma, I'm so sorry for you. It must be a huge shock to you and your husband.
I know there are no words that I can say that will help you feel better just now, but it will get easier as time goes on.
Be kind to yourself - this is a big thing to go through, so don't be afraid to reach out to people in your life that will be supportive.

Original poster

Hopelessmumma · 18/12/2023 22:12

Thanks yes we asked them to confirm again in the delivery suite but unfortunately they said the same thing .. Still can't figure what went wrong

OP posts:

FlyingCherub · 18/12/2023 22:13

I lost my boy at 26 weeks, and had had antibiotics a week before for a UTI.

Anything you've taken or done will play on your mind, but the likelihood is that it was just one of those things.

I'm so very sorry.

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 18/12/2023 22:15

Oh I’m so sorry! I can only imagine the pain you must be feeling.

Hopefully you get some answers or closure from your midwife team.

MamaBear54321 · 18/12/2023 22:16

Im so sorry this has happened to you😔 i didnt want to read and not say anything. Although I have no personal experiance with a pregnancy loss I did take x2 antibiotics during a pregnancy with no issue although I imagine this probably wont ease your mind. I would definatley reach out to your midwife team for support and asking any of these questions so they may help you with this. I hope you have a great support system around you.🩷

Lesina · 18/12/2023 22:18

I am so very sorry for your loss. You must be utterly devastated. I hope you have all the support you need at this terrible time. Thinking of you and your little one.

cocoromo · 18/12/2023 22:27

I am so very truly sorry. I lost my little girl at 23weeks and it is so heartbreaking.
there are no words for how you are feeling now, but I promise in time this will get easier to bear. Sending positive vibes to you xx

FairytaleChristmas · 18/12/2023 22:31

Im so sorry for your loss ❤️

UpWithABang · 18/12/2023 22:34

I'm so sorry for your loss, this is immense. I hope you and your partner can take all the time you need in the coming days and weeks to begin to grieve. Be as kind snd gentle with yourself and each other as you possibly can

Mariposistaa · 18/12/2023 22:35

Very very sorry for your loss.
Please do not torture yourself with 'what if's'. It will be one of those things which has no explanation. Your little girl was just too good for this evil world. It is not the antibiotics - not taking those would have made you both very poorly indeed.

Serene135 · 18/12/2023 22:35

Sorry to hear that @Hopelessmumma . If you were asked to take the antibiotics then it was because you needed them. Choosing not to take them could have resulted in your illness affecting the baby so be kind to yourself and try not to dwell on the antibiotics. Hopefully you will get an answer as to what went wrong in time. Sometimes it’s just one of those things and it’s no one’s fault. Hope there are people around you who can support you at this difficult time 💐

Hayzl · 18/12/2023 22:37

I'm so so sorry.

user1471466920 · 18/12/2023 22:45

So very sorry for your loss. Please don't torture yourself about the antibiotics as these things happen for no reason. Totally heartbreaking.

lto2019 · 18/12/2023 22:46

So sorry for your loss. The chances are you will not find out what, if anything happened. I would second the bereavement counsellor if offered by the hospital, they do know the answer to a lot of questions and will find out what they can in more depth and help you both through.

Greekgreens · 18/12/2023 22:49

So sorry for your loss

I I lost my first baby at 20 weeks. He was fine at the 20 weeks scan but 2 days later I went into labour and he died. It was very difficult and I was very lucky to have 3 full term babies after.

Darceybeau · 18/12/2023 22:51

Just wanted to say so sorry for your loss.

Yummymummy2020 · 18/12/2023 22:54

The emotional pain is like nothing else op. You cope better with time but it’s the most heart breaking experience, especially when you pass 12 weeks and have a breath of relief then that chances are things will be ok so it’s a shock when they are not. The antibiotics shouldn’t have done harm, I had healthy pregnancies with them myself but with my loss last year, there were no antibiotics or really any reason to be found for it, so please don’t feel you did the wrong thing taking them .

gemloving · 18/12/2023 23:08

I'm so sorry for your loss. How heartbreaking. Please don't ever think this is your fault, the antibiotics wouldn't have caused for the baby's heart to stop. I'm not sure if they do post mortems on babies at 20 weeks.

Sending hugs. What an awful thing to happen to you :(

gemloving · 18/12/2023 23:09

To add, my baby was stillborn at 35 weeks. It's not fair.

Backtothe90ties · 18/12/2023 23:13

I’m so so sorry. I also lost a baby at 20 weeks. We had a post mortem which identified the cause was no one’s fault. I had visited a farm the week before and was convinced I had caused it. It is not your fault. Wishing you a peaceful delivery and much love over the coming weeks. Be kind to yourself and don’t rush your feelings.

Original poster

Hopelessmumma · 19/12/2023 08:54

Thanks everyone for your kind messages... It's so heart breaking to see so many of you having gone through this experience... It just feels so unfair ... I woke up this morning and just wanted it all to be a bad dream I feel so sick knowing she will never get to know all the plans I had for her and how much we loved her ..I just cannot fathom or process all of this

OP posts:

GreatGateauxsby · 19/12/2023 08:59

So sorry for your loss. This must be incredibly difficult and no doubt it all feels like a bad dream.
When you feel up to it do look at grief support groups.

Please do not think the antibiotics or anything you did caused this. I had to take antibiotics in both pregnancies

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