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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

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Original poster

Early miscarriage - what can I expect?

29 replies

Habbibu · 07/03/2008 19:30

Discovered on Thurs that I'm miscarrying - think I was about 8 weeks, but a scan on Weds showed a 6 week size foetus, no heartbeat, and started to bleed yesterday. We're mostly ok with it, tbh - this was a much wanted pregnancy, but somehow it just never felt quite right. I know all pregnancies are different, but I just never quite "felt" pregnant as I have before. DH and LittleHab are being marvellous. We're feeling a bit up and down and weary, but otherwise ok.

Bleeding a bit more today, so I'm presuming I'll miscarry naturally. I'd be grateful for any experiences - how long does it take? Do you usually know when it's almost complete, or does it just tail off gradually? We have a scan booked for 17th anyway, so I guess we'll see what's what then, but we are supposed to be going to a wedding this weekend, and I don't know if it's foolish to plan to still go - emotionally I'm pretty sure I'll be up to it - it helps that no-one knew I was pregnant, so there's no explaining to do. Any experiences/advice most welcome.

OP posts:

OoTaLcYoO · 07/03/2008 19:32

Truly sorry for your loss Habbibu, no experience, so cannot help you..bumping x

OoTaLcYoO · 07/03/2008 19:34

..that sounded abrupt...didn't mean to..
bump till someone who can help comes along

Lulumama · 07/03/2008 19:34

sorry to hear this, no experience of this, but my heart goes out to you xxx

kittywise · 07/03/2008 19:40

Sorry for your loss .

When I had early miscarriages what tended to happen was that the bleeding came and went over a period of a couple of weeks and I was never quite sure if it had stopped as sometimes I wouldn't bleed for a day or two at all and then it would start again.

Then at some point the bleeding would get VERY heavy and lots of clots and lumps would come out and often there was a recognisable embryo there ( that was a tad distressing) so be prepared for that.

Then I would bleed for a few days afterwards and it would all be over.

I hope it goes smoothly for you and best of luck for next time

brunettemum · 07/03/2008 19:41

So sorry. I had v similar experience back in October. I expected to miscarry naturally after the scan showed no growth past 6 weeks, but after spotting/bleeding for a week, nothing more had happened. I had an additional scan to check that the embryo hadn't grown and that my dates weren't wrong (I knew they weren't) and then had the hospital procedure. By then I just wanted it over with tbh - sounds heartless, but I didn't want to wait any more.

My heart goes out to you - it's a difficult time

KristinaM · 07/03/2008 19:41

i had a mc about the same stage

physically it was much like a heavy period, with a few clots ( sorry if TMI). of course you can take iboprofen or whatever. i bled for about 10 days and it tailed off like a period.

did they take blood yesterday? they might take it again next week, to check your hormone levels are dropping off

mine was also a much wanted pg and my Dh and i were also devastated. I'm sorry for your loss

Original poster

Habbibu · 07/03/2008 19:52

Thanks for replies. I'm starting to have vague crampy feelings, and to be honest I'm glad - I know what you mean, brunettemum - now I know what's happening I just want it to happen. They didn't take bloods on Weds - they thought the scan was inconclusive, but the size/dates just didn't make sense to me, so I was pretty sure it had all gone wrong then, and the bleeding since has convinced me. Hosp. thinks the same. I think if all goes on I'll just wait till the scan on 17th to see where we are, and make a decision then. I'm presuming it would be sensible to take time off work - sorry if this sounds daft!

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brunettemum · 07/03/2008 19:56

Yes - I would take time off. I know that it is easy to rationalise, and think you are ok about it, but I really was a bit of an emotional wreck in hindsight. Plus while you're waiting, it's really quite nervewracking not knowing what to expect. And you don't want to be in the office when it all starts (if it does) anyway I guess. I took about 2.5 weeks off in total. Give yourself some time to come to terms with it. You will need it. Take care - look after yourself. x

Original poster

Habbibu · 07/03/2008 19:58

Thanks, brunettemum. I lost a baby at 21 weeks 2 1/2 years ago, and don't know if that's making me a bit calmer about this - I fell to pieces then, but we got through it, and so I suppose I feel stronger and more able to cope. That said, I remember LOTS of ups and downs then, and know that hormones did play a part, so think it would be wise to give it time. Just feel quite fed up right now...

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brunettemum · 07/03/2008 19:59

Oh - and I went to a wedding in the middle of it all too. It was good to take my mind off it. But - be prepared in case the miscarriage starts properly. Is it far from home? Mine wasn't, so didn't feel too bad as could escape if I needed to.

Original poster

Habbibu · 07/03/2008 20:01

Not too far - about an hour and a half drive (I commute an hour to work, so have a pretty skewed idea of far!). Thanks for your help - it's much appreciated.

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brunettemum · 07/03/2008 20:05

Oh no - that must have been truly awful. I can understand how that might make you feel a little calmer this time. I remember spending time with DH & DD counting my blessings - there are so many people who haven't got either; I felt very lucky.

Hope you start to feel less fed up soon.

Original poster

Habbibu · 07/03/2008 20:50

Oh - another stupid question - is a bath not a good idea? God, I feel really thick now!

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lackaDAISYcal · 07/03/2008 20:58

sorry you're going through this habbibu . I had a MC at 12 weeks, then another at 6 weeks. The one at six weeks was much easier to deal with physically (more of a heavy clotty period), but worse emotionally as I'd been sure it wouldn't happen to me twice. I do remember quite a lot of cramping, worse than a period, and the EPU gave me a prescription for co-codamol both times.

I would say a bath is a bad idea incase of infection.

Be kind to yourself and don't expect too much iyswim. The emotions and hormones might catch up with you when you least expect it. If you feel up to it, then go to the wedding, but as someone else said, you might find that you want to get home quickly, especially if you start bleeding heavily and feeling wretched.

Take Care xx

Original poster

Habbibu · 07/03/2008 21:03

Thanks, daisy. Suspected as much of the bath. Bah. I think I would like to go to the wedding - lots of good friends there and it will be a fun distraction. Just really hope it's all over with by early April, as we've booked a holiday in Italy, and I think it will be especially good to go now.

I haven't had a great feeling about this pregnancy from the start, for some reason, so I don't think I've really engaged with it, if you know what I mean. But it's early days, and you're all right - these things can hit you when you least expect it.

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lackaDAISYcal · 07/03/2008 21:18

I'm sure things will be right by your holiday, or at least better. Have they talked to you about managing it medically? They can give you some pills to get things moving if you don't want to wait for nature to take its course.

lackaDAISYcal · 07/03/2008 21:19

just be kind to yourself

Original poster

Habbibu · 07/03/2008 21:36

I think I'll ring them on Monday - talk it through a bit then. The hospital is fab - really kind and considerate staff, so I'm confident we're well cared for. Thank you all for all your replies - they're really helpful and kind.

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lackaDAISYcal · 07/03/2008 21:53

let us know how you get on, and if things feel like they are too much, there is always someone on here to lend a sympathetic ear

Original poster

Habbibu · 08/03/2008 21:21

Thanks, Daisy. Still not much going on - will phone hosp on Monday and talk things through. I'll update when I have any more news.

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Wilkie · 08/03/2008 21:28

I m/c at about 6/7 weeks. Much like a very heavy period with large clots and lumps in it (sorry if TMI).

I just took painkillers and clamped a hot water bottle to my tum.

So sorry for your loss xxx

Original poster

Habbibu · 08/03/2008 21:30

No, not TMI - I really do need an idea of what to expect, so thank you. And thanks for kind thoughts. Feel ok - just fed and and pissed off at losing another baby. I so wanted babyHab to have a brother or sister to love and play with. Here we go again, I guess...

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Original poster

Habbibu · 08/03/2008 21:30

fed up!

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lackaDAISYcal · 08/03/2008 21:38

habbibu, it'll happen for you, don't give up hope . My 2 mc's were after I'd had my DS and I was convinced it would never happen for me. But it did and I have a bouncing 9mo old DD who is just the most precious thing ever. There's five years between her and her big bro though, which I'm a bit sad about, but so far they love each other to bits, and he'll always be there looking out for her.

sad73 · 08/03/2008 21:49

Hi Habbibu, just wanted to say how sorry I am for the tough time you are having. I have had an early mc (6 weeks) and it was a bit clotty (sorry tmi). I would go to the wedding but dress comfortably, take pain killers, take pads and an excuse to leave at short notice if you need to (migraine, sick cat etc...).

It's such a rubbish thing to happen, all your plans dashed. I really do understand why you feel so crushed.

(PS extra thanks for your reply to my thread, especially when you must be feeling so crappy).

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