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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

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Original poster

Miscarriage at 10 weeks

35 replies

Sophie200 · 29/08/2023 16:53

Hi guys,

I've just found out today that at 10 weeks + 5 days I've miscarried.

There feels like no words to describe how I feel right now, it was my first and I feel like the world has just been taken from under my feet.

The worst part is that I've got to wait a week to go back for a re scan for them to confirm the loss before they can do anything, unless it passes naturally at home.

Truly devastated. Is anyone else going through the same? Just feel so alone and isolated

OP posts:

spermwhale · 29/08/2023 16:55

I'm so sorry you're going through this, it truly is the worst thing. I had scan at 12 weeks in June, and baby died at 8 weeks, I miscarried naturally that same night. Me and my partner still grieve for our baby now, be kind to yourself

KatieJ345 · 29/08/2023 18:06

I am so sorry for your loss. I went through this exact same situation in May and honestly it is still difficult now but it does get easier. I didn’t realise missed miscarriages were a thing so we were unbelievably shocked when we found out at the scan. Took a couple of weeks off work and just spent time with my partner. We have had to help each other through it. When I was fully recovered we starting TTC again and that helped me somewhat. Now we are pregnant again and the anxiety is awful but we know we have to go through it again to get our rainbow baby.

Original poster

Sophie200 · 29/08/2023 18:09

Thank you. These are both very reassuring posts to hear and it's just focusing on that things do get better and this time we have just been unlucky and it wasn't meant to be. If there is any advice you can give as to what you did (I have some time off work too) please let me know 🙏🏻

OP posts:

PurpleReindeer2 · 29/08/2023 18:43

I'm so sorry OP. It is a horrific thing to happen to you. I went for a scan at 12 weeks and was told they couldn't find a heart beat. It shocked me to the core and I was utterly heartbroken. I was given the choice of waiting for nature to take effect or to have a d&c. I chose the d&c, but it is a very personal decision. The consultant said we were just unlucky and to try again in a few months when my body had recovered. Within 6 months I was pregnant again and went on to have a DD and 18 months later another. Be kind to yourself and support each other. Hopefully time will be all you need. Best wishes xxx

FiddleLeaf · 29/08/2023 18:47

You’re not alone 🙂So sorry for your loss.

I had to wait the week between too and then a further wait because it was a private scan & NHS had to do their own. It’s mind boggling! The waiting is really tough.

It is ‘just bad luck’ as people say but it still hurts. I’ve been going through all the stages of grief.

I think it does help to have a little preference on how you’d like it managed. I knew I wanted surgical and wasn’t open to the other options but many women prefer medical or ‘natural’.

FiddleLeaf · 29/08/2023 18:48

Sorry, scrap ‘little’!

Olivia199 · 29/08/2023 18:49

I'm so sorry OP, you're not alone in this crappy experience. I went for my scan Thursday after my frozen embryo transfer to find baby no longer had a heartbeat. I've got my rescan at the early pregnancy unit on Thursday.
So I'm here with you, feeling all of the things and wanting to just get back in bed.

moosey89 · 29/08/2023 20:06

I'm so sorry OP. I've had 2 MMCs between 10-11 weeks, it's awful. Look after yourself, the wait is not fun so try to keep your brain as busy as possible. Sending hugs xx

Hollycharlie · 30/08/2023 12:17

@Sophie200 hey, I’m sorry to hear this news. I was told on the 7/8 at my first scan 10+5 baby hadn’t lived passed 6 weeks. I was in utter shock and I still don’t think it’s sunk in. I started spotting on 10/8 , and stopped bleeding 20/8, so luckily I didn’t have to take any treatment. I don’t know if I’m a bit messed up or what but all I can think about is getting pregnant again, as I feel like it will help, but it’s probably not the answer. You’re not alone, and I hope you get better care from nhs than I did. Good luck and keep us posted how you are. Also I think I’ll be off work for at least a month or so, I just don’t feel like being there. Although this week is the first week I’ve felt like doing anything normal and having a bit of spring back in my step. So things must be on the up xxx

FiddleLeaf · 30/08/2023 12:30

I feel the same @Hollycharlie. I want to be pregnant again asap. Partly it’ll be our bodies wanting to go back but mostly I’m desperate to have a baby and time is ticking for me at 39.

Hollycharlie · 30/08/2023 12:42

@FiddleLeaf I’m 42 . Didn’t even want another baby, life was good and have an 8 yr old. It’s only when I got pregnant and came round to the idea it was then taken away from me. I guess it’s karma as I wasn’t overjoyed to start with and now I’m desperate for another. My daughter, who I didn’t tell but planted the seed was so overjoyed at the thought of a sibling I feel terrible now that this isn’t the case. My husband is getting to the point where he’s turning me down, in which he has never in his life done 🙈problem is don’t know if I’m ovulating as the lh sticks could be picking up old hormone, don’t know when if I am , but I’m so conscious of everyone saying your really fertile so quick after losing a baby I don’t want to miss my chance if that makes sense. I think as I have focused on this it’s taken my mind off of the loss as such, if I don’t get pregnant again after a few months I think it will fully hit me. Don’t know if this is crazy talk or what maybe still hormones going mad.

Original poster

Sophie200 · 30/08/2023 15:51

I've started bleeding ever so slightly so I really hope things start to pass naturally so I don't need any intervention next week 😔 this is the worst part just waiting for it to be over....
I fully get what you mean though. One part of me can't wait to try again as soon as we can which is getting me through, but then the other part of me is hurting so much and I'm scared that this is going to happen again.... both of which are normal feelings I guess.
So reassuring knowing you guys are going / gone through something so similar. There really isn't much support around at all

OP posts:

Olivia199 · 30/08/2023 15:59

@Sophie200 - Any and all feelings right now are totally normal. I have everything crossed that you don't require any interventions when you go back in. I'm in tomorrow and have no signs or symptoms of anything starting so I guess we see what happens. Thinking of you in what is an awful time.

Original poster

Sophie200 · 30/08/2023 16:15

@Olivia199 I'm so sorry to hear that you are going through the same thing and yours is tomorrow. Please let me know how it all goes for you, will be thinking of you

OP posts:

toomanyleggings · 30/08/2023 16:23

I had a missed miscarriage around the 11 week mark. I pushed for surgical management but I did really have to push for it as they wanted me to have the tablets. For me it was just too traumatic a prospect and with a child at home. It was physically very straightforward with the medical management. It is very upsetting but what helped me was knowing that it is also a very natural/ common thing for pregnancies to fail. It doesn’t necessarily mean anything is ‘wrong’. I think I definitely would have found it worse if I hadn’t already had a child.
I started trying again and got pregnant straight away. She’s currently trying to climb out of her high chair. The only thing I would say about getting pregnant straight away is it’s quite rough being pregnant for so long especially if you get morning sickness because. I felt like I’d been pregnant for 14 months basically

Franxxx · 30/08/2023 16:24

Sending hugs, so sorry you’re going through this 😢 So much hope is built up in pregnancy, especially after getting past the 6/8 week mark and heading closer to the 12 week scan. Can’t imagine how devastated you are

Olivia199 · 30/08/2023 17:51

Thank you @Sophie200 - I'll let you know how it goes.

Olivia199 · 31/08/2023 13:45

@Sophie200 - Just checking in after my appointment. All was fine and everyone was lovely. Annoyingly they can't accept the fertility clinic scan and therefore have to scan me again in a week, but they've booked the ERPC for the day after, so next Friday. It's my daughters birthday party on the Saturday, but they said she'll talk to the consultant and show him all the clinics scan details and see if he'll accept that and move it forward so fingers crossed.

PinkRoses1245 · 31/08/2023 13:56

I had a loss recently at 11 weeks; hadn’t had a scan, it just happened very suddenly and quickly. Then had the joy of 7 hours in A&E (as advised by GP), to find out I wasn’t even on the list to be seen. Confirmed with private scan the next day, likely had stopped growing at 8-9 weeks. It’s heartbreaking isn’t it, and no one can say any different. Be kind to yourself, take leave if you can (I got compassionate leave), and allow yourself to feel whatever it is you feel.

PinkRoses1245 · 31/08/2023 13:57

What’s helped me to is to think that most likely the baby wasn’t very well and this is natures way of handling it. In my mind; better than carrying an unwell baby to term. There’s nothing that can be done to stop it, and it doesn’t mean it’s more likely to happen again.

Olivia199 · 31/08/2023 15:15

@Sophie200 - Just to update. They've accepted my clinic scan so surgery booked for tomorrow afternoon.

Ellenn · 31/08/2023 15:22

Hey @Olivia199 i recognise your name I’ve probably been on a thread with you before! I’ve unfortunately received news today at my scan that it’s not viable pregnancy too 😭 so sorry to hear about yours. They are wanting to scan me again but I’m actually on holiday next week so it will be 2 wks away. Did they give you options? Today they said we have to wait and see atm but I think I might rather go down surgical route as had miscarriage previously and it wasn’t pleasant xx

Original poster

Sophie200 · 31/08/2023 15:30

@Olivia199 so sorry to hear about today. How did you find the appointment and what they had to tell you? Will be absolutely thinking of you tomorrow. @Ellenn really sorry to hear about today too 😔 there are no words to describe the pain. Sending lots of love x

OP posts:

Olivia199 · 31/08/2023 15:33

Oh @Ellenn, yes I recognise you too. I'm so so sorry to hear your sad news. The waiting is torture. Yeah, they asked if I'd thought how I'd like it managed and I said surgical with a general anaesthetic straight away, she was absolutely fine and said she'd get it booked in. No further pressure or discussion or anything. Totally and completely my choice which I appreciated. Xx

Olivia199 · 31/08/2023 15:37

@Sophie200 - Honestly they were brilliant. Really really sensitive and supportive. Felt like I had every choice and they'd make sure that happened. They asked at each point what I wanted to see and know and then gave me a picture on my request. It's obviously a difficult appointment but I found it a lot less painful than the first.

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