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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

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Original poster

MMC found at 12 week scan

63 replies

EdithGrantham · 24/08/2023 16:14

As in the post title I've been told at my 12 week scan that I've had a MMC. She didn't say at what stage the baby was measuring, but that there is a pregnancy sac but fetus hasn't developed and there's no heartbeat. On the scan picture it says 6.9cm but you can't really see anything, just a little kidney bean type shape at the side of my uterus. When I've looked online 7cm is expected size for 12 weeks so I'm a bit confused.

My gut instinct was to book in for surgical management which I've done but I'm now wondering if medical would be better if baby wasn't really developed. My main concerns with medical is that I don't want to see the baby as a baby when passed if that makes sense. Also, my daughter still wakes and is fed back to sleep overnight so with surgical the hope would be that I'll only be in for the day.

OP posts:

whosaidtha · 24/08/2023 16:17

So sorry you're going through this. I've had two one passed without intervention at 6 weeks and I didn't see anything at all. One I had medical at 10weeks. I did see the baby but it wasn't as distressing as I thought it would be. For medical you usually don't need to be in hospital at all so might be ok with your daughter. Totally your choice.

Flubadubba · 24/08/2023 16:21

I have been in exactly this position, same scan date etc. I chose surgical with general anaesthetic as I wanted to ensure that everything was removed. Day surgery and was out but mid-afternoon. It was definitely the best option for me, but some people prefer other routes.

Please allow yourself to grieve, however you might. I found taking time off helpful, but a colleague who had a similar situation took the opposite view.

Be kind to yourself x

Original poster

EdithGrantham · 24/08/2023 16:21

Thank you, if you don't mind me asking, did you find the one at 10 weeks very painful/how long did it take before you were "back to normal"

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Original poster

EdithGrantham · 24/08/2023 16:24

Thanks @Flubadubba, sorry your reply wasn't there when I posted. I think surgical is the right choice for me but the anaesthetic worries me as I've never had to have a general, or even a local before apart from the signal block I had for my C-section. I'm off work ATM anyway and have let them know what's happening and that I'll just keep them updated.

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Original poster

EdithGrantham · 24/08/2023 16:25

Also, sorry to hear you have both have been in similar circumstances, it's so crap 😔

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Insheerpanic · 24/08/2023 16:29

Sorry to hear this has happened to you hope you are ok as can be. I lost mine at 11 weeks but didn't find out until 14 (my 12 week scan was very late) mine looked like a little Teddy bear from a haribo pack if that makes sense just had little stubby arms and legs. I chose surgical but took the medication before hand to get your cervix ready and I reacted to it and ended up loosing alot of blood and loosing mine on the day surgery ward it was absoloutey horrific and gave me ptsd. I also lost waters before hand which nobody prepared me for. I think surgery is the best option to get it over and done with and not have to worry about seeing it all. Hope it all goes well for you, sorry for your loss x

whosaidtha · 24/08/2023 16:55

EdithGrantham · 24/08/2023 16:21

Thank you, if you don't mind me asking, did you find the one at 10 weeks very painful/how long did it take before you were "back to normal"

It wasn't that painful had ibuprofen and paracetamol only. Physically back to normal quickly. Was out and about the next day. And after the first day bleeding was like a normal period.
I know lots of people do chose surgery but medical was the right choice for me I think.

KatieJ345 · 24/08/2023 17:35

I was only offered medical management after MC at 13 weeks. I had to have the maximum amount of medication and stay in overnight. The bleeding after lasted for about 6 weeks so it wasn’t a smooth process. It was also very emotionally difficult. It took a couple of cycles for my period to get back to normal but I conceived again on the third cycle.

Savvy21 · 24/08/2023 17:51

I had a MMC also picked up at 12 weeks last March. Heartbeat had stopped at 10 weeks. I went for medical management as thought it would be more manageable. However I lost a lot of blood so ended up in a and e with emergency surgery and a blood transfusion. As a result, I would 100% recommend surgery. I'd never had GA before either and it was fine. Sorry for your loss - it's a horrible thing to go through.

Original poster

EdithGrantham · 24/08/2023 18:02

Thanks all for sharing your experiences, the thought of it going on and on also puts me off medical or expectant management so I do think surgical will be the right choice for me.

@KatieJ345 glad to hear you managed to conceive again, it took 4 cycles to fall pregnant this time and only one with my DD. Hopefully when we try again it will be fairly quick as time isn't on my side age-wise.

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Flubadubba · 24/08/2023 18:19

@EdithGrantham I should also add that I was pregnant with my daughter 3.5 months later (first try).

It is worth talking through the options so you understand what might be right for you :)

BeaLola · 24/08/2023 18:37

Sorry to hear your news.

I have had 3 ERPC under GA after mmc -all between 10-16 weeks and 2 lots of twins - I wasn't offered any other choices - 3rd one I had haemorrhaged at week14/15. I was sent home same day from each with mild painkillers and was from memory back at work a day or so later .

Original poster

EdithGrantham · 24/08/2023 18:57

Thanks both

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Original poster

EdithGrantham · 24/08/2023 20:49

Sorry, just had another thought, were normal sanitary towels ok or should I pick up some maternity pads?

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Original poster

EdithGrantham · 24/08/2023 20:51

@BeaLola sorry for your losses, did you find going back to work helped? I work with children and the thought of going back and having to put on a big smile all day is worrying me but maybe I'd be better off just going for it rather than putting it off.

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Flubadubba · 24/08/2023 21:20

EdithGrantham · 24/08/2023 20:49

Sorry, just had another thought, were normal sanitary towels ok or should I pick up some maternity pads?

Mat pads are softer and more comfy, but a lot bulkier (like a huge wad in your pants). It is hard to know how much bleeding you may have afterwards and for how long, so normal towels may be more suitable.

Tbh, I got disposable underwear as it made me feel more comfy.

Savvy21 · 24/08/2023 22:02

@EdithGrantham definitely give yourself time if you need to. I didn't go back the next day or the next week. Looking back, I should've given myself more time :-). You can always be signed off and then request that you start off with half a day in as part of your return to work.

KatieJ345 · 24/08/2023 22:14

@EdithGrantham I work with children and took a week off work as I couldn’t really take any more than that. It did feel too soon to go back. The hospital will probably sign you off work for at least 2 weeks so I wouldn’t rush if you don’t need to. At first I was in shock as the MC was my first pregnancy and the grief seemed to come in waves for weeks after.

LBGlasgow · 25/08/2023 00:35

Looking for some advice, I didn't have morning sickness but did have nausea around week 8 until 3 days ago (currently 9w3d) I was also really tired and last two days this has subsided. Today I noticed my boobs weren't hurting as much. I haven't bled or had any cramping. Do you think I may be having a MM? I have had a M before at 7 weeks and a chemical pregnancy at 5w. Not sure what to think and full of anxiety.

Sillysausage2 · 25/08/2023 00:50

my First pregnancy was the same, I opted for D&C because I thought it would be easier to have it over earlier but I didn’t really think it through. I went in and had gel inserted, wasn’t expecting it and it was agony. Maybe that’s only first pregnancies though, they offered pain relief but was an injection and I’m terrified of needles. Just a shit experience all round really, I am sorry that you have to go through this.
I’ve had miscarriages since and gone tablet route, the comfort of being at home was better for me but it does continue for a good few days unfortunately

KatieJ345 · 25/08/2023 01:30

@LBGlasgow I don’t think that is necessarily a bad sign but you could book an early scan to put your mind at ease rather than wait for the 12 week scan.

Original poster

EdithGrantham · 25/08/2023 08:08

Thanks @Flubadubba, I will pick up some normal pads and I think I have some maternity ones left over from when I had DD somewhere if it gets to that point.

Thanks @KatieJ345 and @Savvy21 I will see what they say on Tuesday, how I feel l, then take things from there

@Sillysausage2 I think if I didn't have my DD I would be more open to being at home but I know how tough it is being ill with a toddler let alone all the emotional stuff so I don't think it'd be fair on her either.

@LBGlasgow from memory my symptoms disappeared before 12 weeks with DD and it didn't mean anything but I think if I am lucky enough to fall pregnant again in the future I will go for an early scan. If you do, obviously keep in mind that it's just a snapshot of how things are at that moment. For me it would be a case of going to see if I had experienced MMC again then I could get sorted earlier than I have this time instead of waiting feeling anxious for another 3-4 weeks.

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YearoftheRabbit23 · 25/08/2023 08:15

So sorry for everyone's losses.

I've had surgical management twice, once at 7 weeks, once at 9. Easy recovery both times (general anaesthetic), period-like bleed for about 10 days after. I wanted it over and done with, having read many threads on here about retained products, plus in both cases I was about to travel on holiday just after.

Savvy21 · 25/08/2023 08:18

@LBGlasgow just be aware that if you do go for an early scan and it's bad news then some of these clinics aren't great with knowing what to do. Don't book last thing on a Friday as EPU is closed over the weekend. Lots of people have changes in symptoms. Completely understand your anxiety though.

LBGlasgow · 25/08/2023 08:21

Thank you, I gave them a call this morning and they wouldn't be able to see me as I don't have sharp pains or bleeding so as anxious as I am il have to wait until my scan which is in 4 weeks. She did say I could go for a private scan for reassurance so we might look for that x

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