MMC found at 12 week scan

[EdithGrantham]

As in the post title I've been told at my 12 week scan that I've had a MMC. She didn't say at what stage the baby was measuring, but that there is a pregnancy sac but fetus hasn't developed and there's no heartbeat. On the scan picture it says 6.9cm but you can't really see anything, just a little kidney bean type shape at the side of my uterus. When I've looked online 7cm is expected size for 12 weeks so I'm a bit confused.

My gut instinct was to book in for surgical management which I've done but I'm now wondering if medical would be better if baby wasn't really developed. My main concerns with medical is that I don't want to see the baby as a baby when passed if that makes sense. Also, my daughter still wakes and is fed back to sleep overnight so with surgical the hope would be that I'll only be in for the day.

@Hollycharlie thank you and sorry for your loss. I'm still breastfeeding my DD so I've got paracetamol and ibuprofen in but don't think I can take anything else that I can just pick up over the counter, another reason I thought surgical might be best. Still very light spotting so I'm hoping it doesn't get any worse before Tuesday.

@EdithGrantham apologies for not replying sooner - have seen your update and hope you are doing okay.

Re question you asked me about going back to work- it worked for me as it took my mind off things - however I didn't have any other children or work with children. I just think you need to do what helps you the most - at that time in my life it was getting back into my routine, but there's no right or wrong way.

Take care of yourself and hope you get better news idc

@BeaLola thanks, I've let my manager know when the surgery is and that I'll keep her updated, she is being really supportive so far

So just an update, had really awful cramps overnight on Sunday, started bleeding more heavily yesterday morning then passed something yesterday afternoon, not sure what just felt more solid than blood. I rang the EPAU and they said to go in today as planned and they'd triage me before deciding what to do. Was there for about 2 and a half hours just waiting around, the surgeons came to see me so I explained what had happened and they want to scan me before doing anything else but the earliest they can get me in is Thursday so I'm in limbo for another few days 😔

I’m really sorry to hear that, the pain is so awful. Can you get a prescription for strong painkillers? Cocodomol was helpful for me if used alongside two hot water bottles front and back.

Both the hospital and GP were happy to prescribe painkillers so you should be able to relatively easily.

Luckily the cramps stopped yesterday, I'm still BF DD so there are limited painkillers I can safely take.

Went in for a scan yesterday and there was just the sac left. Had to wait around a lot whilst they decided what to do, daytime surgeon examined me and wanted to wait to see if it passed naturally as was low down nearly past my cervix. When the shift swapped over the night time surgeon just said ok let's get you in. So it was a very long, emotional, hungry day in the end but hopefully the physical part is all over with now. Feeling very fragile today.

@EdithGrantham hopefully you'll feel physically better quickly. Emotionally, it can be a bit harder. I had bereavement counselling following my miscarriages. You can also self refer in a lot of areas.

Yeah physically feel fine but emotionally is definitely a different story the hospital have a bereavement lady who rang me today to let me know her details and she's ringing again next week to check in on me and offer some support as well.
Not sure what to do about work yet, the start of a new school year is always tough, I'm going to be in a new year group and thinking if I miss the start it's going to be more difficult to go back. Wondering if it'll be easier in the long run just to go in from Monday but I think I'll see how I feel tomorrow.

See how you feel. The distraction might help. Personally, I couldn't go back to work for about a month. I couldn't be what my student needed. I just didn't have the patience for them.

Thanks @MeAgainPeeps, I've been offered a phased return as well but not sure if that will make things any easier. I'm just going to try and take each day at a time.

@EdithGrantham I took a phased return and it did help. Are you a teacher? Can they give you someone in the classroom for a little while? Maybe let your year group know so they can step in if necessary. These things take time.

@Savvy21 thanks, helpful to know it worked for you, I've never had to do phased return before so wasn't sure. Yes I am and going into a new year group where we will have a TA but across two classes. I've got an idea of what I could do so going to get in touch with my head to see what she thinks.