Waiting for natural miscarriage advice?

[Nebula05]

Me & my partner have been trying for a child for about seven years, tried tablets and iui to help but nothing worked, on waiting list for IVF.

Found out a couple of weeks ago I was pregnant. I couldn't believe it, my partner couldn't believe it we were so happy. Due to having PCOS and irregular periods I had to go for a scan to see how far along I was. 7 weeks and 3 days but there was an abnormality beside the baby (possible twin that didn't make it or blood clot) so we were to go back a week later to EPAS for another scan to see what was what, just to find out our baby no longer had a heartbeat. Absolutely devastated. This was a week past on Thursday, we obviously don't know when it's little heart stopped.

I decided to wait for the miscarriage to pass naturally, I've had a few cramps for a few days and then nothing. They did say if I changed my mind I could go for the medication.

I was just wondering (if people don't mind me asking) if anyone has been in the same situation (knowing about the miscarriage before the actual passing) how long it took before it started? It's only been a week and a bit ( feels like a lifetime) don't know wither to go for the medication (scared incase I have a bad reaction) but id rather pass naturally but I don't know how much longer I can wait.

Sorry for the long winded post.

T.I.A

❤️

Mine took two weeks to pass. I bled and attended the EPU, that's how it was discovered that I had miscarried. No heartbeat was ever seen and the bleeding tailed off.

I had to get blood tests every 2 days to track the decline of my pregnancy hormones and once they got under 50, I miscarried fully.

I'm so very sorry for your loss. I hope you can get comfort from one another as you find your way through this awful time and I hope you will be holding your rainbow baby soon. 🌈❤️

I waited to miscarry naturally.

How many weeks should you be now? Forgive me if I'm telling you things you already know, but it's likely to happen around 12-14 weeks if you wait. This is to do with hormones. In the first Trimester your hormones sustain the pregnancy. As you leave thr first Trimester, this us when babys themselves take over the supply of hormones which sustain pregnancy. Miscarriages often happen at that cross-over. Up until 12-14 weeks your body may maintain your pregnancy even though baby has passed and stopped growing. This is what happens in a "missed miscarriage".

With my miscarriage, I'd had my suspicions from about 7 weeks. It was confirmed at the 12 week scan (but I didn't find it a shock) and then my body naturally miscarriaged a few days after 13 weeks.

I'm sorry OP, this is very sad.

I found out at the 12 week scan, but there had been no growth since about week 8/9
as I recall. I had been passing a little old blood in the preceding days (dark and grainy bits when I wiped), then started passing some redder blood on the day of the scan. Opted not to have any medical treatment and the miscarriage had completed within about 10 days I think.

Take care 💐

I'm so sorry for your loss too ❤️

Thank you for you're reply xx

I would have been 10 weeks tomorrow.
I didn't know any of that, thank you for the information. They told me if nothing had happened after 3 weeks to go back to EPAS to get medications.

So sorry for your loss and thank you for the reply ❤️

I'm so sorry for your loss too ❤️

We are taking care of each other. Thank you for your reply xx

I started bleeding slightly around 7 weeks, had blood tests every 2 days which showed the numbers were not doubling. About a week later I had strong cramping pains for a few days and lots of bleeding and miscarried.

I found out at 6 weeks but didn't miscarry til 10 weeks. I didn't want treatment as I hoped they were wrong. It was an IVF pregnancy hence the very early scan. I'm very sorry this is happening to you.

Please skip past this post if you're not appreciative of a raw and honest account of the gore, but... when I has my miscarriage the single most useful conversation I had was with my best friend who'd miscarried the year before.

Even though I'd had three births and understood the pain and blood of giving birth, I don't think I was prepared for the massive, massive quantity of blood loss with a miscarriage. Were it not for talking to a friend who'd been through it, I could easily have ended up in medical shock and thinking I was dying.

I felt much better prepared by knowing. So if you want to know...

I choose to miscarry at home. I also chose to do it alone - my husband took out children out of thr day. It felt right for me to be alone with my body. If you do it at home, have every towel and blanket you own by your bed, so you can keep changing the towel under you to soak up the blood. There is apocalyptic amounts of bloodloss involved. Or there was for both me and my friend.

The pain wasn't as bad as labour, but enough to have you curled into a ball with it. There was also a definite feeling of progression about the pains which mirrors labour. The pain and bloodloss together could have you panicking and going to hospital if you're not expecting or prepared for it. That's why I mention it. Personally,I feel glad I stayed at home to go though it. It felt 'softer' and a more emotionally based experience at home. I feel it helped me with closure.

I'm sorry you're going through this.

I would agree cramping pain builds up, but for me it was manageable with hot water bottle and paracetamol, and I didn't pass all that much blood- was ok with heavy duty pads. Just as a slightly different example xx

Hi @Nebula05 ,

Really sorry to hear you're going through this 🙁. My situation was almost exactly the same as yours, we had been trying for so long and couldn't believe that I got a positive test, it was totally unexpected. I went for an early private scan at 8 weeks and they said the baby's growth/heartbeat had stopped at 7wks 2 days.

I was referred to the EPAU very quickly and they went through options with me. I was very keen to wait and see if it happened naturally as I was a bit scared by both treatment options. I decided I'd give it 2 weeks and then make a decision. I had some very light cramping over those 2 weeks, but no spotting or anything, so eventually I decided that I didn't want to be living in limbo waiting for it to happen at any point. I'd also read a lot about how it can take 4 or more weeks and I didn't feel I wanted to wait that long.

I decided to go for the medical management option and it was much more manageable than I was expecting. I wrote down my experience on this thread if you want to have a look - https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/miscarriage/4814132-medical-management-experience-please

Hope this is helpful. x

I went ofr a routine scan at abotu 10 weeks (not in Uk) and found that my baby was only 7 weeks and no heartbeat.

I had to travel back to UK for a D&C. So was about 11 weeks when I travelled. I started to miscarry on the plane.

So about 4 weeks after the baby stopped growing.

Help, please. What can I say to my son and his partner who have just lost a planned baby (14 weeks) to comfort them without sounding trite. I sent flowers and have had a thank you but I don't know what to say next.

I'm sorry 😔 thank you for your reply xx

Yeah, I keep hoping they are wrong as well. I'm so sorry this happened to you too. Thank you for your reply xx

Thanks for the info. So sorry you had to go through this. Thanks for the reply xx

I've had a few days of cramp and then nothing. I know it sounds bad, but I just want it over with. Sorry you had to go through this. Thanks for the reply xx

Thanks so much for the thread. Yeah, feels like that in-between stage of a death and a funeral. I'm going to give it a few more days and if I don't have anything happen I'm giving the hospital a call. Don't think I could take much more tbh. I'm sorry you had to go through this. Thanks for the reply xx

I'm sorry you had to go through this 😔 thank you for the reply xx

I'm so sorry they are going though this. To be honest there's not really much you can say. Just let them know that you're sorry they are loved , be an ear and a shoulder to cry on if they want and make sure they are looking after each other. It doesn't sound trite when it comes from the ones you love. Let them know about forms likes this for info or even just to vent to complete strangers.

This thread has helped me a lot the past few days when I've felt alone.

Hey OP.

I'm so very sorry for your loss.

I had my 6th consecutive miscarriage confirmed 4 weeks ago.

I was 8w 4d. I opted for medical management. They inserted 4 tablets inside me, made me wait an hour, and then I was able to come home.

I bled on and off for 10 days. Then it pretty much stooped. Just before the 3 week mark, I started bleeding again. I called my EPU, and they told me to take a pregnancy test. I got an instant strong positive. Last Friday, I went for a scan that showed retained materials from the pregnancy, I hadn't passed everything. Saturday morning, I repeated the medical management procedure and have had a lot of painful cramping but very little bleeding and definitely no clots, which was expected.

Because I'm 4 weeks in and there is still pregnancy material inside me, I'm having surgical management tomorrow.

I understand the feeling of wanting it all over. In hindsight, I should have just had the surgical in the first place. Do what feels right for you. I'm sending love and courage your way. You'll get through this, you both will.

I miscarried a bit earlier than you - had an early scan around 6 weeks which showed no development, wasn’t conclusive but I knew that was it. Wasn’t offered any help. Miscarried around 10 weeks.

I don’t want to scare you, but the natural option didn’t go well for me. I started bleeding at lunchtime, around midnight I was being blue lighted in to hospital due to a haemorrhage. So when it does start, keep an eye on how much blood you’re losing and don’t be afraid to go to A&E if it’s getting out of hand. On the plus side I had no pain! Everyone is very different. I’m sorry you’re going through this, it’s a shitty club to join.

I agree, I had this with my first pregnancy (took about 3/4 weeks to actually miscarry, even after the baby had stopped growing 2 weeks prior. So about 5 weeks altogether)
I didn't expect the amount of pain or blood, my bath/bathroom looked like a horror film. It definitely got worse towards the end mirroring Labour, and total relief once baby had passed though.
If it happened again I would chose medical management, but didn't feel right for me at the time.

Sorry for your loss OP x

I'm so sorry OP, life can be very unfair.

In contrast to PPs, my experience of a miscarriage wasn't as bad (at least physically).

I had a scan at 8 weeks which showed baby stopped developing at 6 weeks. Missed miscarriage was confirmed a week later when there was no growth. I had no spotting, bleeding or cramping in this time.

I then opted for medical management and had what was heavy bleeding (a bit heavier than the heaviest day of my period) plus a few large clots passed in 12 hours. No real pain but I did take ibuprofen and paracetamol pre-emptively in case it got painful. I didn't have any labour type pains and went for a walk to the park at one stage.

Pregancy test I took 3 weeks later was negative, so all passed.

I hope you're doing OK xx

I'm so sorry you had to go through that. Thank you for your reply xx