12 weeks bleeding and clots - how to prepare?

[Worriedmum9999]

Hello,
I am 12 weeks today and been bleeding since wednesday. It is getting heavier and last night I passed small clots.

I have a scan today to check, but the symptoms are not looking good.

Can you help me prepare what to expect. If it is a miscarriage do you just have to cope at home or do they keep you in hospital?

Any help or advice would be welcome.

@Worriedmum9999 I'm so sorry that you're going through this. I had a MMC last month at 12 weeks. Unfortunately baby had stopped developing at 7+5 and there was no heartbeat.

My experience - the sonographer was amazing. So kind. She initially did an abdominal scan and then said that she would need to check some things with an internal one. At that point I knew really as I knew a 12wk pregnancy shouldn't require an internal. When she put the wand up, she took a few seconds and then very gently and calmly told me that she could see the baby but unfortunately it wasn't as big as we would be expecting and that it didn't have a heartbeat. I burst into sobs and had a big hug with Hubby and she said I'm so sorry and then said she would give us a few minutes to process. When I was a bit more composed she came back in and let us ask a few questions etc which was when I asked if she could see what gestation it had stopped at etc. We then went through to speak to a nurse about the practicalities. She talked me through my options and on her recommendation, and discussions I'd had with my Sister and a friend who had both had losses, I opted for surgical management. This all happened on a Friday and the earliest slot they had for surgery was the following Tuesday. We booked that in and went back home. I then started miscarrying naturally. I think maybe seeing the scan triggered something for my body. Anyway, I miscarried over the weekend. It was all bearable. I had paracetamol and a hot water bottle. For me the cramps were never worse than early stage labour/bad period, although I know for some they are more intense. I rang EPU and they advised me to keep the pre-op on Monday and they could check me then. So when I turned up at the appointment, I noted that I'd passed a lot of blood and clots and thought I had probably miscarried naturally. They bumped me in for a priority scan and the sonographer had a really good look and said I had passed everything and no sign of retained products. So I didn't need the surgery in the end.

Sorry, thats a lot to process but I hope its helpful and reassuring to hear an experience of it. Nothing can take away from this being a really shitty time. And I know all the feelings of being excited to be out the first trimester and ready to announce etc. It's horrible. Let yourself ride all the waves of emotions that come and take time out to let yourself process this. What I will say is that just over a month on, I am amazed at my own resilience and the fact that I am already able to feel hope again etc. The dark days do pass but I think it's important to allow yourself to go through them as you need. Big big hugs. I will be thinking of you today and virtually holding your hand through that scan. Just remember, for the time that little tiny bean was on earth, it was safe, and loved, and nourished and it knew nothing other than your lovely warmth and love 💕

P.S. please feel free to ask more questions or to keep in touch here or on PMs if it's helpful.

Reasons my sister had recommended surgery:

• she had had medical management that was unsuccessful and felt it dragged the process out. I've heard of this happening to others too. - you have a bit more control over the when and how. There's no uncertainty of what the experience will be like, and no chance of seeing anything which can be emotionally difficult.
• you're in and out, and once it's done, you know the medica have done all in their power to ensure nothing is left in (although unfortunately sometimes people are left with retained products even after surgery)

As I said, I actually went on to miscarry naturally. I was a bit anxious initially as really unsure what to expect but it was fine, as per description above.

Sending lots of love your way. Xx

@SnookyPook thank you so much for your message. It is really helpful to know what to expect and how to prepare.
Thank you for thinking of me today, I have my scan at 11 and will update you when I know more.

Thanks again for your message it really helps

I'm so sorry for your loss. I just had my second miscarriage this week. Both times I have had the surgery. This time it was a missed miscarriage so no bleeding whatsoever, last time it was an incomplete miscarriage.

I would recommend surgery if that's an option for you, its pretty painless you are just a little sore afterwards. I didn't think I'd cope well having the tablets then passing everything.

Please DM if you need to talk.

I am sorry for your loss. Thank you for your advice. If it is a miscarriage I will opt for surgical as I have heard some stories of not passing everything can cause further problems.

❤️

@Worriedmum9999 been thinking of you. Lots of love xx

@Worriedmum9999 i am so sorry you are going through this, i hope that it isn a miscarriage and you come here with good news.

if it is a miscarriage they will give you 3 options

1. wait it out naturally
2. Medical management
3. Surgical management

like @SnookyPook i would certainly recement surgical, i had a MMC back in Decemeber, i was 100% dead set against surigcal, i was afraid of scarring, i had never spent a day in hospital in my life, i was scared out of my wits at the surgical option and so i opted for medical.

I had the medical option twice and it never did a thing except give me the runs and made my face go as red as a beetroot, no bleeding at all, all it did was delay things a week for me, i ended up having to get the surgery anyway and it was a breeze, i think recovery physically and emotionally it is better also, you wont see anything, for me anyway there was minimal bleeding after, the sorest part of the whole thing for me was having the tablet inserted vaginally to soften the cervix before the procedure.

My period was back 5 weeks later, i had a second period after that and then i fell pregnant again and i am currently nearly 15weeks

I hope you have good news today and you don't have to make this decision, but if you do my advice would be forget about waiting or medical, get it over and done with and have surgical so you can go on to heal and remember to be kind to yourself x

Hi @SnookyPook @misslomi @38andtrying it was confirmed that the baby has no heartbeat and stopped developing about 7 weeks and I am meant to be 12 weeks today.

Thanks to your advice i have opted for surgical but they cant get me in until thursday and even then i have to ring on the morning and check.

I had to fight to get the surgical option, which is not what you want to have to do when you have just been informed of your loss.

Just wondering what to expect and what recovery was like?
I have sarted with more bleeding, so it might happen naturally, but they said they will do a scan on the morning to be sure. X

@Worriedmum9999 ah I'm so sorry that this was the outcome but glad to have helped you be a bit more mentally prepared. So very very sorry for your loss though. 💕

As outlined in my post above, I never got as far as the surgery as I miscarried naturally after the scan. If you have started bleeding a bit more since then this might be the case for you too, especially if you have to wait until Thursday. If that's the case and you think you've passed it all, keep the pre-op appointment and make sure they scan you again. Please feel free to ask me any questions.

If you do get as far as surgery, people I know found it good to recover from (physically at least) and said it resulted in just a little bleeding over the days afterwords and barely any physical pain. My sister said the worst bit was waking up from surgery and feeling empty and having to face the reality of the loss again. In a way, I think going through the process naturally and losing it that way did help me with some of the processing and grieving in a way that just being asleep and having someone else remove it might not have done. But I'll never know.

Take it as easy as you can the next few days. Lots of love to you. Xx

Oh @Worriedmum9999 I am so so sorry. Its such an awful thing. Sending all my love your way.

I've had the surgery twice, the first time it was general anesthetic and this time is was local. Both were fine. When I had the general anesthetic I was put under and the surgery was done really quickly. I wasn't allowed to eat prior then once I woke up they gave me tea and toast and I was wheeled to a women's ward. Once I felt okay I had to nag a bit but they let me go home within a couple of hours.

This time I was only offered the local anesthetic, I was a little more worried but my partner hated me being under general anesthetic as he was scared bless him. It meant he could stay with me the whole time. They brought me in to explain everything and gave me loads of tablets, pain killers, antibiotics, anti sickness and tablets to soften/widen the opening to the womb and sent us off for an hour. We came back and met the doctor who explained the procedure, the midwife was in the room as well as someone who assisted the doctor with the procedure. It probably took 15 minutes max, didn't hurt just a little uncomfortable, bit like having a smear. They gave me gas and air which definitely helped! Once it was done they gave us tea and said we could leave when we wanted. The midwife called me yesterday to check in and make sure I was okay.

Both times I've had a bit of bleeding after but it's stopped fairly quickly. I had the surgery Wednesday afternoon and I'm only wearing panty liners now. I'm still taking paracetamol as I'm a bit sore but don't imagine I will be for much longer.

My pregnancy symptoms are basically gone now, I've been told to test again in 3 weeks to make sure the surgery has worked. We can try again from then but are best to wait till I have my first period but this is only for dating reasons.

Physically it's pretty easy to deal, the emotional side is where I am struggling. Be kind to yourself. Sending you lots of love x

@Worriedmum9999 i am so sorry that this was the outcome, you are already bleeding so it may happen naturally, this never happened with it, i hope if it is it happend speedily and you can get it over so you can start healing. The miscarriage part for me wasnt the worst part, it was the emotional trauma in the weeks after, i really wish you all the best and please look after yourself x it is the shittest club in the world to be in

Thank you @38andtrying @SnookyPook @misslomi and sorry for each of your losses.
The cramping has definately ampt up so it my happen naturally, but i wilp go on thursday and check.

Glad the procedure isn't to daunting physcially. I agree the emotional trauma is going to take quite some time to recover.

Thank you all so much for your messages, they have given me lots of support for today and I know i am not alone, so thank you xxx

I'm so sorry you're going through this and I'm glad you've had some good advice. I don't want to worry you, as this is very rare, but I haemorrhaged when I had a mmc at 11 weeks. I had emergency surgery and a blood transfusion and was okay. It's extremely unlikely to happen to you, but I just wanted to say that if you do find you're losing a lot of blood, do ring the hospital and make sure you get seen. I wish I'd realised sooner what was happening. Hope that's OK to share. Do take care of yourself and give yourself time. xxx

@Superwomble thank you for sharing. I normally have heavy periods, so how do you know how much is 'too much' when it comes to miscarriage bleeding? Just so i have a guide to go from x

@Worriedmum9999 so sorry you are going through this. I had a miscarriage (pregnancy ended at 8wks 2). I ended up having the miscarriage at home. Just some reassurance if this ends up going that way it wasn't too bad physically in my case. Tended to find there was a rush of blood when I got up so I tended to lay down and rest. If the bleeding is non stop and you are in a lot of pain and concerned I would suggest giving midwife a call. Feel free to ask any questions X

@Worriedmum9999 you are definitely not alone. I know these forums provided me with quite a lot of comfort when my loss was fresh, and continue to do so. Please do msg whenever you need.

I also had a couple of gushes when going from sitting to standing. Tbh I spent large portions of that weekend just sitting on the toilet and letting stuff come out. It wasn't continuous but enough to not want to get up and down constantly. I did go overnight with just a heavy duty pad on and then it sort of started up again the next day when I'd been up and about a bit.

Really hope it all goes ok for you. How are you doing? Did they give you a little memory box or anything at hospital? Xx

@SnookyPook the hospital wasnt very good
The doctor didnt know what she was doing. I asked for a photo so i have that, but i wasnt given any painkillers or a leaflet or anything. Just a lot of confusion and having to fight for a surgical appointment.

Im left feeling quite panicky about the lack of support at the hospital :-(

How long did your gushes/bleeding last.

Iv just rang the unit as the pain is bad and parscetamol is not doing anything

@Worriedmum9999 ah I'm so sorry that you don't feel well supported by the medics. That's really tough. Well done for standing your ground though. We're the unit more helpful when you just rang? What did they suggest? You can have ibruprofen as well as paracetamol as they aren't the same drug. Might help to hit it on the head a bit more? Have you got a hot water bottle you can sit with? I'm so sorry that you're struggling. If you feel really worried then it absolutely isn't a stupid thing to go to A&E with.

In my case the heavier gushy bleeding lasted 2 days. I then had the scan that showed I had passed everything. Then had 3 further days of a light period style bleeding and then two days of spotting. Overall it was pretty much a week start to end. My negative test came a week and a bit after the bleeding fully stopped.

Hope you're doing ok. We're here with you. ❤️

@SnookyPook thank you. Yes the unit have prescribed codine 30mg/60mg 4 times a day.
My mum has dropped her hot water bottle off.

Fingers crossed the worst part lasts 2 days for me, I keep worrying how long it will take to pass the tissue/baby.

I am just so grateful for your support and replies and all the advice on here. There is nothing like other women who have been through the same experience to offer support. It means the world xx

I'm glad they've given you something a bit stronger and that you've got a hot water bottle too. Hopefully combined those will help you to cope a bit more with what's going on.

Yes it's tough not knowing. I didn't ever identify any clots that were definitely the baby. I did at one point catch some in some tissue (sorry if tmi) as I was sort of curious and felt like I wanted to acknowledge them if it was that but I really couldn't tell. I did feel very strange/sad at times knowing that it was just going down the toilet. That wasn't easy. It helped me to say goodbye and have a cry as I flushed it. Some women do try to catch it so they can sort a more ceremonial goodbye etc but I felt I didn't want to get into that and drag it all out more. I sort of felt it is what it is.

I feel honoured to be with you and it sort of helps with another bit of processing my own loss and giving it purpose that I can now be that support for others as other women were for me. It's always sad to think of others going through it, but you're right, there is a comfort in that womanly support and sharing of experience. 💕

Very similar to @SnookyPook in terms of bleeding amount and days.

Definitely found once the physical part was over I could start to deal with the emotions of it.

I also wanted surgery and also had the same issue in terms of booking a surgery appointment. In the end I was glad it worked out how it did but I remember feeling so stressed by it.

I also had lots of support when I was going through it so nice to give some back take care ❤️ xx

@SnookyPook @tulipsunday thank you both for sharing your experiences and that is nice that supporting me through your experiences has helped with the emotional loss we are all going through.

I understand wanting to catch the clots i feel thr same way @SnookyPook but at the same time I am hoping I dont notice which part is the baby, as im not sure how i would feel. But we will face that if I see it.

@tulipsunday it is horrible that we have to fight for an appointment when dealing physically and emotionally with our loss. I am hoping now that is has started i pass everything properly, but i will have a scan to make sure. Would hate for some of it to be missed and cause ongoing issues

Just want this physical part to be over, so we can process the emotional grief that comes with a loss. Just keep randomly bursting in to tears and also feeling really scared about what is happening xx

Sending you big hugs. You're doing really well. The tears will gradually hit less but it's an ongoing process. Just let them come as they come. I have had a couple of cries today as it's exactly 5 weeks since the scan where we found out about the loss and my AF has also made an appearance today which is a relief but also really poignant.

We will all get through this and hopefully on to our rainbow babies when we are ready 🌈💕

I never asked @Worriedmum9999 - was this your first pregnancy? It was my second. I have a DS who turned 2 in January. I do think that having given birth before made the physical process of the miscarriage a bit less daunting, although still very much an unknown and therefore was definitely an anxious time.

@SnookyPook this was my second pregnancy, I have a 4 year old boy. It does help, as I cuddle him a little tighter.
The pain is pretty bad, dont think il be sleeping much tonight. Come like very strong cramps. Not bleeding to much or seeing anymore clots.

With the pain i wish, I could see the results if that makes sense.

Iv taken the max dose of codeine, nothing is working. Hope it gets easier soon.

I am glad AF made an appearance for yilou as that is a healthy sign for your body x