Missed miscarriage

[LJB0988]

Hi. I’ve never written in one of these before but I’m really struggling and need to find out if anyone has had a similar experience to me…
so I should be 11 weeks pregnant, so far I thought everything was going fine, had lots of morning sickness, tired, sore boobs etc.
Last weekend infact, was the worst my morning sickness has been.
On Tuesday I started with some brown spotting which looks like old blood, I rang the EPU who got me seen on Thursday for an internal scan. They told me the heartbreaking news that my baby had stopped developing at 6 weeks and I was having a missed miscarriage. I am in shock and absolutely devastated but I’m mainly struggling to come to terms with what’s happening because I’m having no symptoms. Im
back at the hospital next week for another scan and then will have to decide on management but I feel like I’m limbo waiting for my body to go through this horrendous process.
Has anyone else experienced a missed miscarriage like this?

@Skyblue22 thank you so much for commenting ❤️ I’m so sorry for your loss.
I agree the waiting is absolute torture which is why I’ve opted for the surgery. I know everyone has different feelings and opinions on the best course of management but for me mentally I think it will help me to recover emotionally if I know it has passed 😞 it’s just heartbreaking. I am so sorry to all of you that MMC has affected and just thank you for messaging ❤️

I'm so sorry and sad to read so many of you have been through the same 😞 it's just heartbreaking.

It was confirmed at our EPU today that our baby has stopped growing. We knew there was really no hope from the original scan, I am only glad they were able to confirm today I suppose and not leave us waiting another week or two. As it was IVF, I have been on a lot of progesterone medication. Now I have been able to stop we are going to wait and see if anything happens naturally. The hospital were lovely and said if we change our mind at any point and want to go with a different option just to call. They were all very kind but after fertility treatment there too (two cycles last year which didn't even result in any embyro transfer), it was another part of the hospital I wish we weren't in xx

@Jx3303 I’m so sorry. My heart really goes out to you 😞💔
It’s just the most hopeless situation and nobody can do or say anything to make the pain go away.
You are not alone though, that’s the only comfort I’m getting right now. Whilst it feels so lonely, there are so many of us going through the same heartbreak 💔
please take care of yourself in the coming days/weeks and trust that time is the only healer in this situation ❤️

@LJB09 how are you doing lovely? I have yet to have any bleeding and I'm doubtful my body will do this on it's own after so many weeks of progesterone after IVF. We've decided we're going to call EPU on Monday to book in for surgical management if still nothing has happened.

Is anyone else unable to speak to most people? Other than those very close to me (and even that is a struggle most days, I've kept communication with my mum and sister to a minimum as we just all get upset and I hate seeing them upset too) I have messages mounting up. I'm a very open and emotional person and I just don't have it in me to pretend I'm fine. X

Hi @Jx3303 i’m ok. I had the surgical management yesterday and I know everyone’s experience is different but it was definitely the best option for me having no bleeding naturally.
The doctors, nurses and the care they gave me was wonderful.
I feel so sad and empty today, but I also feel a sense of relief that I can move on from this horrible time knowing that the pregnancy has passed 💔
sending lots of love and strength to you! X

@LJB09 I'm so sorry, that must have been a very difficult day 😞 but yes I am beginning to think it's the best option for us too. I'm worried about potential risks but there are risks with all options aren't there. I'm so glad that they took such good care of you. Were you there all day? Did they sign you off work for a bit?

My heart breaks for you 💔 I can completely imagine it's so hard the day after, I send all my love. I already feel sad and empty knowing our baby has stopped growing, for it then to be completely gone I know I will also feel the same. What are the next steps do you mind me asking? Do you have to do a test at home some time or as it was surgical they scanned and can confirm all tissue has been removed? Xxx

There are some risks of course, but there are different risks with medical management too and still could result in surgery. You will be well looked after I’m sure.
I was there all day but as I only had local anaesthetic the recovery was very quick. They got me a room on the ward and my husband was allowed to stay the entire time with me.

Bless you it is so heartbreaking but I can say that after feeling that sadness for a week knowing my baby wasn’t really there, I can now start to heal emotionally from this 💔

So next I will need to do a pregnancy test in 3 weeks to check it’s negative and my hormones have returned to normal. If it is then that’s it as it’s my first MC there’s no further follow ups. They have given me lots of information about follow up emotional support if I want to talk to anyone.

My heart goes out to you too, feel free to ask me any questions I really don’t mind xx

I definitely don't want medical, some stories are just so awful and yes, could end in surgery anyway. Sounds like more potential trauma so we'd skip that option all together. I think with it taking us so long to get to this point after TTC for such a long time and a long ivf journey, I'm scared. But I already knew it was likely we'd have to go down the surgery route, and we've waited a bit. I just can't wait another week or two.

So glad your husband was able to be with you, I am sure he was amazing. Thank you, that's what I thought about tests and things. I'm unsure my clinics protocol with doing another transfer after this, likely be a few months and I'm in no rush as mentally I know I need time. I so appreciate your help, it's such a lonely place to be isn't it. I hope your little one and husband are giving you lots of hugs. My OH is taking such good care of me ❤️ I hope that your recovery this weekend goes well, plenty rest and put yourself first xx

Thank you @Jx3303 I agree, it’s already very traumatic without it being drawn out so if you can take back some control I definitely would.
Honestly, it’s fine you can message anytime, this forum is so helpful as we are all going through similar experiences as awful as it may be it helps to talk to others going through it 💔
you take care of yourself xx

@LJB09 how are you feeling? I hope ok and getting rest and looking after yourself ❤️ I decided to call EPU and we're booked in for Tuesday. The waiting is painful and I really hope I can process after the surgery. I'm scared I will feel even worse afterwards but right now I'm not sure that's possible. As you said, I hope I can start to heal emotionally xx

Hi @Jx3303 hope you’re ok.
I’m glad you have managed to get something booked in, hopefully it will help like you say to process once that’s done.
Physically, I don’t feel too bad, cramping which was to be expected but I’ve just been getting lots of rest as advised by the doctors.
Emotionally, I’m ok one minute and then the next I’m not, I think that I would have felt like this regardless of how I lost it though. Just the fact of no longer being pregnant it’s heartbreaking 💔😞
I just keep telling myself each new day is a step closer to feeling normal again 🤞🏼

@LJB09 I'm so sorry, it's just so heartbreaking and I fully expect to feel the same when it's done, sad and empty, we want to be able to move on and I've said to OH I will be ok, I just don't know when 😞 you are right, small steps and take each day as it comes. It's still so raw and recent that no one would expect us to be ok. Did the hospital sign you off? Xx

They signed me off until the end of the week and said to go to my GP if I need any longer.
Are you taking some time off?
Make sure you do ❤️

@LJB09 I took Monday and Tuesday off last week and then just worked from home offline the rest of the week. I will definitely take this week off and maybe the next. After two terribly unsuccessful IVF rounds last year I was signed off. I didn't take any time the first and it really hit me like a tonne of bricks the second so I know I should take time to process now or I will be even worse down the line. How are you feeling today? I woke up in the middle of the night not feeling very well but still no sign of anything happening xx

Hi @Jx3303 oh bless you it sounds like you’ve been through a lot, thats good that you are taking some time for you to recover.
I’m not too bad, still feeling very empty and sad. I’m guessing it will be like this for a while. We’re going to make some plans for the next few weekends to try and have some nice things to look forward to, hoping this will be a nice distraction 🤞🏼xx

I’m so sorry op❤️

I had a mmc at 12 weeks early last year. I had pregnancy symptoms, even abit of a tum. (my 2nd pregnancy, symptoms the same as when I was expecting dd)
A couple of days before the 12 week scan, I started spotting brown blood. After the 2nd day I started getting very light cramps - not exactly painful but uncomfortable, then in the eve , the bleeding started. I went to the EPU immediately and after examinations and a scan, I was told I had miscarried & the baby most probably passed away very early on in the pregnancy, as there was an empty sac. It was a real shock and devastating.
I miscarried ‘naturally’ & didn’t require medical intervention, but I did have to go back to the same hospital once a week for the next 3 weeks for blood tests as I still had high levels of hcg present. They needed it to get to a certain level before they could discharge me. I won’t lie, this bit was hard. Having to sit in the waiting room with pregnant women.

We decided to wait a month before trying again. Luck was on our side and 3 months later, I was pregnant again, I’m holding my napping 4 month old in my arms as I type.

I wish you all the best op, it can be hard but try to stay positive x

@TropicalMoon thank you for posting.
Im so sorry that you too like many others have also been through this heartache!
It’s reassuring to know that women out there have been through the same/similar experiences and gone on to have successful, healthy pregnancies. I just hope that will be me one day when I feel ready to try again 🙏🏻❤️

How are you doing @Jx3303 ?
Was thinking of you yesterday ❤️

@LJB09 thank you so much for checking in ❤️

It went ok. A very hard and sad day but they took very good care of us, so kind and compassionate. It was a long day - there at 7.30am but got taken to theatre about 10.30am and we were home about 4.30pm. I'm back in 2 weeks for another scan. They want to check as there was something, maybe blood, they couldn't get to. I'm hoping it will be gone and not lead to anything further. It was agony to go to the toilet afterwards yesterday but it's eased up a bit today. Resting and have a sick note off work. How are you doing and how is your recovery going, both physically and mentally? Sending love xx

Hi @Jx3303 how are you doing?
and any other ladies in the thread? Hope you are healing!
Sorry I haven’t been active for a while. I went back to work to try and distract myself which has helped but also still struggle some days. A huge sense of loss comes over me all of a sudden.
does anyone know how long it takes for your period to come back after MC? Feel like I’m waiting in a limbo for it to come back.

@LJB09 thank you for checking in, very kind ❤️ how are you?

I'm doing ok - it's been a tough time though. I ended up back in hospital the week after surgical management as I really wasn't feeling well and the bleeding and pain had come back worse than right after surgery, and they found remaining tissue. I went back the following week and it was still there, tried medical management that didn't do anything and decided to wait and hope that it would come away either before or with my next period. I chose surgical so it was over quick and that just didn't happen sadly. So I'm waiting for my period too. I'm back next week for another scan, I just really want to be discharged and not have to go back. I'd accepted I'd have to wait since we've tried all options but I'm worried what they'll say if it's still there next appointment. I returned to work (from home) on Monday and am trying to get back to some normality - even if my body isn't there yet.

I'm sorry - I have days like that too, yesterday was one of them and I would have been 12 weeks today which hurts 😔 It's taken me a month to not cry every day, but I still do have times when I'm really sad 😢 sending love and hopefully your period comes soon xxx