Missed miscarriage

[LJB0988]

Hi. I’ve never written in one of these before but I’m really struggling and need to find out if anyone has had a similar experience to me…
so I should be 11 weeks pregnant, so far I thought everything was going fine, had lots of morning sickness, tired, sore boobs etc.
Last weekend infact, was the worst my morning sickness has been.
On Tuesday I started with some brown spotting which looks like old blood, I rang the EPU who got me seen on Thursday for an internal scan. They told me the heartbreaking news that my baby had stopped developing at 6 weeks and I was having a missed miscarriage. I am in shock and absolutely devastated but I’m mainly struggling to come to terms with what’s happening because I’m having no symptoms. Im
back at the hospital next week for another scan and then will have to decide on management but I feel like I’m limbo waiting for my body to go through this horrendous process.
Has anyone else experienced a missed miscarriage like this?

Unfortunately I also have had 2. Both between 8 and 9 weeks they stopped growing. It’s absolutely heartbreaking being told at a scan that your baby has died, with my first I didn’t even know you could miscarry and not know. My first I had seen my midwife 2 days before.

I am so sorry you are going though this

@LJB0988 I went through exactly the same 😢 same amount of weeks too it’s the worst thing in the world to happen 💔 only had brown spotting and all my symptoms disappeared that’s when I new something was wrong 😑 I had to get medical management to remove mine As my body just wasn’t letting it go 😢 I am so sorry for your loss I’m heartbroken for you because I know exactly how you are feeling 🤗♥️

@OurChristmasMiracle thank you for replying to me and I’m so sorry you have been through this too 💔
this is exactly where I’m at, I always presumed with a MC you’d know by bleeding. I’m still in shock, it’s my second pregnancy but first MC. Please tell me how you go through this as I’m struggling so much? I hope you went on to find happiness again! X

@Unicorn2023 I’m so sorry you have also experienced this, but appreciate your reply 💔
I just want to have the management now so I can grieve and start to move on but at the minute I haven’t even passed the pregnancy it’s so hard to move on.
Please would you share with me how you got over it… I’m so worried how this will affect me mentally as we really struggled for a long time to conceive our DS, I am so lucky to have him and he will be my strength I know, but we wanted so badly for a second child xx

@LJB0988 I went into hospital 3 weeks ago to get the tablets to start it but after 11 tablets it still wasn’t coming away ( sorry terrible wording but don’t know how else to describe it) I got kept in because this is my 5th miscarriage 5 years of trying and I wanted it tested. I thought the same as you I just wanted it done to help me move on but i felt so much worse after it because I felt so empty knowing it was gone and still do three weeks on. I’m functioning but that’s as far as it goes unfortunately but I went out yesterday for the first time and seen my friends had a great laugh and got very very drunk and it took my mind off it. The only advice I have for you is don’t shut yourself away from people get out and see people because I’ve shut everyone out till yesterday and getting out was the best thing I did I wish I done it sooner sitting in the house to much time to think is not good ♥️ I was offered counselling that I said no to but I think I should have taken it so if they don’t offer you it ask because I really do think telling someone how you feel helps 🤗 I am sending you all the strength and love in the world it does get bearable but it takes time ♥️🤗 (sorry it’s not positive I just didn’t want to lie and say it’s been easy but it gets better)

My goodness @Unicorn2023 it sounds like you’ve had such an ordeal! I’m so sorry for you 💔
I’ve learnt so far that MC is so common but it doesn’t take away the pain. Ire reassuring to know it will get easier with time, and I’m sure that will be the same for me when I can finally say this it has passed 😞
I really appreciate you taking the time to reply to me

@LJB0988 I didn’t realise till this happened to me that MMC was so common in my experience I would say it’s worse because you think everything is ok getting that far along for them to give you that dreaded news and then you have options to chose what you want to do it’s so overwhelming 💔😢 time is a great healer but please make sure you rest and be kind to yourself. I’m so sorry this is happening to you life is just not fair at times 🤗

@Unicorn2023 I agree it’s feels like the worst way to have an MC because you don’t even realise you’re losing it. We had our 12 week scan booked for next week and was thinking about how to announce it to everyone. I’ve learnt none of that stuff matters now.
Im glad you are starting to heal from your experiences and I wish you all the luck in the world for the future ✨
Thank you for being so kind ❤️

@LJB0988 so sorry to read what you are going through. Last year I had a missed miscarriage followed by a blighted ovum which is similar. I know it is the worst feeling but I promise it does get easier in time - once the physical part is over you can start to heal mentally. Tommy's has a great helpline if you need to talk things through with an early pregnancy specialist.I also have a son and understand that excitement about having a second. Am pregnant again and hoping this will be third time lucky! X

@tulipsunday thank you for replying to my post, I’m so sorry for your loss and wish you a happy, healthy pregnancy this time. How long did it take you to conceive again after MC? I’m so eager to try again once I have recovered from this but I’m also scared of this happening to me
again as mentally it hasn’t left me in a good place. I know everyone’s journey is different but it is nice to hear some success stories after going through MC ❤️

@LJB0988 I just wanted to reach out and say I understand your heartbreak. We are going through the same. We went for our 7 week scan on Saturday (just at a private scanning place) after a long and tough IVF journey, to find no heartbeat and baby measuring a week smaller than should be. I have an appointment tomorrow at EPU. I had plenty of pregnancy symptoms and no bleeding at all. My symptoms seem to be lessening now though and I've had some cramps tonight. Beyond scared of what's to come 😔 sending love and strength to you xx

And I am so sorry you're going through this x

@Jx3303 I am so so sorry for what you are going through. Life is so cruel and unfair at times.
I hope that it isn’t what you think. I’ve read lots of different outcomes on these forums this past few days, admittedly most of them have ended with MC but I’m sending you lots of positive thoughts and luck for your appointment ❤️

And thank you for your kind words. I’m trying to get through each day as it comes ❤️💔

@LJB0988 thank you, but given the exact transfer date with IVF, dates can't be wrong and the sonographer on Saturday was honest about it being very unlikely there would be any change. Life really is very cruel and unfair. I have told my boss and am taking some time off. I can't bear to speak to anyone but my OH. The thought of things dragging on is horrible too, I'll get told tomorrow after my scan to go back for another I'm sure. I've spent the last 3 days crying it's hard to see past this devastating time right now. Taking it each day is all we can do, be kind to ourselves xx

My thoughts are with you. It's horrible. I had a very similar situation and timing, except I thought all was absolutely fine until my 12-week scan showed otherwise. I, too, hadn't realized this was possible, and it was a terrible shock. I was 39 and thought that was my last chance. [I then went on to have my wonderful son at 42]. So sorry you're going through this. Mine was 'managed' in hospital with some sort of induction pessary, but after that I was basically left on my own and very glad to have DH with me. Also, no-one warned me it would be painful, but when I asked they gave me pethidine, which made a huge difference. Rest, DH, and a sympathetic visit from a good friend kept me going through the first few weeks.

@LJB0988 So sorry you're going through this. My first pregnancy was a MMC. I knew that miscarriage was more common than most people realised, but hadn't realised how common missed miscarriage was, so it really caught me out. It's not something people always talk about, so I try to be quite open about it now (although understand not everyone wants to.)

My MMC was medically managed, so I took one pill that started me bleeding, and then went into hospital for a second.

Miscarriage is an emotional blow, but can also really take it out of you physically, so please take time to rest amd come to terms with it.

I waited until my next period, and then I felt ready to start trying again and got pregnant straight away. He's just finished his Year 6 SATS. 😊 And his younger brother was pregnancy number three.

So please don't be disheartened. All the best. Lots of us here for a hand hold if you need it.

@LJB0988 a few months so not long. Quicker than getting pregnant with my son (first pregnancy). You have got a high chance of your next pregnancy being successful though totally understand the worry xx

@Jx3303 bless you, my heart really goes out to you and what you are going through 💔
I was the same, I haven’t seen anyone apart from my husband, little boy of course, and a friend came to see me yesterday too which helped talking about it to another woman.
Time is the only healer in this cruel situation. Take care of yourself xx

@CrushedVelvet thank you for sharing your experience with me. I’m sorry that you went through MMC, it really is so devastating. I’m so happy for you that you went on to have more children. That is what I’m praying for through this heartbreaking time 💔

@BlueBrush thank you for taking the time to reply to me ❤️ I am so sorry to hear you all went through this.
I am the same, this is the first time I’m learning about MMC, I didn’t even know it was a thing.
Your story is very uplifting, to hear how you went on to have successful, healthy pregnancies definitely makes me feel better and I hope this will too happen for me one day when I feel ready to try again.
I have decided I want to have the surgery management, rightly or wrongly I don’t know but mainly because my body is not letting go of this baby on its own 😢 and I need some closure so I can move on.
Has anyone gone through the surgery?

Thank you so so much. You ladies are honestly amazing sharing your stories and helping others to feel some sort peace with this heartbreaking situation ❤️

Thank you @tulipsunday thats wonderful that it happened again so quickly for you ❤️
I pray that it will all work out for me 🙏🏻

Sending you and everyone on this thread lots of love. It breaks my heart that so many of us have to go through this fresh kind of hell. All I can say is just take it day by day, even hour by hour, and please just let yourself feel your emotions as bottling them up will just make them come back with a vengeance.

Mine was both medical and surgical- started medical but my body wasn't ready to let go so then had to go the surgical route. I was really well looked after by the theatre staff and I would say it was weirdly a relief after the surgery as the wait for things to happen naturally is just torture.

@LJB0988 I'm so so sorry you are going through this. I also had a MMC at 11.5 weeks and didn't really know it was a thing. I was on holiday when I had some jelly discharge and then bleeding, I was so worried when it got heavier on the plane home. We went right to EPAC when we got home and it was confirmed that it stopped growing at 7+5 weeks. I was told to have the weekend to make a decision on what was next, but the choice was taken away as I miscarriaged naturally at home.

I would like to stay it was all done after that, but despite having a scan confirming everything was gone, it then took 12 weeks and 2 further natural bleeds for me to get a negative test. I posted in this forum but noone else seemed to have the same experience. I also had something else come out at the last bleed which was very confusing because honestly, it was big enough to be on a scan, so I'm not sure what exactly went on. I just wanted to mention it because although rare, it can happen, and I felt very alone in the process. I hope that it can be a comfort to someone rather than a scary story.

I felt desperate to start trying again the whole time, but weirdly as soon as the HCG left my system the intense desperation went away. Its crazy what hormones can do to us!

I really hope everything works out for you xx