Miscarriage after healthy pregnancy

[Rainbowdust1993]

Hi I’m coming on here in hope for some positive stories on pregnancies after loss. I have had one perfectly healthy pregnancy in 2019 with my little boy. Zero complications, conceived first try all textbook.
We decided to try again this year and again got caught first try again in February. Felt like my body knew what it was doing as done it before so perfectly, only I miscarried at 5w 6days. Finding it so difficult to get my head around the fact I’ve miscarried a baby after such a previous healthy pregnancy/birth.
Has anyone else had this happen and gone on to have a healthy pregnancy soon after? I think I am beside myself with worry that something has changed with my and my partner, fertility wise over the last 4 years and I’m terrified it is going to happen again as we want to try again straight away.

thank you

Yes, I conceived my first after 11 months of trying and had a healthy pregnancy and baby boy in 2020. Fell pregnant with second after 8 or 9 months of tryintand miscarried at 9 weeks, fell pregnant the month after and miscarried at 5 weeks. Fell pregnant in month 12 and currently 23 weeks xx

We easily concieved our DD in 2019 , we foolishly thought it would be so easy again we planned a pregnancy stopped contraception in december found out i was pregnant end of January 2023 i felt so unwell and totally different to last time i felt something was wrong and found out at a private scan at 8 weeks that I had miscarried at 7 weeks , found medical management failed after 2 weeks when I still had a positive pregnancy test . I had surgical management 3 weeks ago today. I am still struggling to understand how i had such an easy first pregnancy to a total mess second time , it must seem so ungrateful to those trying to conceive there first but it’s hard to understand why it happened this way and will it happen again if we try again .

@JJM13 These are my exact thoughts. Feel so ungrateful as already have a perfect healthy 3 year old but I’m just struggling to understand why this has happened when I am so in tune with my body. Do you think you’ll try again soon? We want to I’m just terrified now of it happening a second time x

Yes. DTs born in April 2020. I had an unplanned pregnancy in 2021 and mc at 7 weeks in July 2021. Fell pregnant again in Nov 2021, and healthy baby born last year. I was shocked when I mc but it happens to 1 in 4 people. I’m sorry you are going through this.

So sorry for your loss. Not a story of hope as I'm on a similar time trajectory to you so curious to follow the thread. Conceived my first on our 4th cycle and had a really healthy pregnancy resulting in DS born Jan 2021. We conceived again in Feb 2023 on 3rd cycle but I've just had a MMC 😔 Feeling bit similar to you and bit anxious as I'm now 37... However, I am choosing to trust that there will be a rainbow baby and that the right baby will join us at the right time. I know that future pregnancies now will be a lot more anxious but I think you have to try and hold on to hope. When it happens, I will do my best to just take it day by day... 🤷🏼‍♀️

Very similar story here but hopefully I can give a bit of hope to those still trying. Conceived DS second month of trying. Tried again when he was 2 and a half. Again conceived second month, gave birth to a very poorly DD at 18weeks. Waited 6months tried again, conceived first try ended in mc at 5wks. Conceived first try a few months later, MMC at 8wks. Decided to try Pregnacare conception (male and female) for 3months before trying again. Accidentally fell pregnant about 2 and a half months after starting and am now in my second trimester. It wasn't an easy journey, especially as it's been over such a short period of time (from Giving birth to DD to this pregnancy it has been 10months). I will never know if it was the supplements or just hopefully our time for another baby. Sending lots of luck your way if you decide to try again.

Yes, I have a positive story. Fell pregnant in 2014 after 7 months of ttc. Baby born 2015. Fell pregnant in 2017 after just a month of trying. Miscarried day of 12w scan but baby died at 8w. Fell pregnant 2 months later, again immediately. Had a scare with bleeding but healthy baby born 2018.

I'm so sorry for your loss. Be kind to yourself and let yourself heal. I still think of my little one and it's been 6 years. ❤️

@Rainbowdust1993 @JJM13 @SnookyPook I feel the same. I have 8 DC all pregnancies and births pretty textbook and smooth. And tbh most people on these forums don't give me the time of day because I have 8 children so I get the feeling from some people I am not allowed to be upset at having a miscarriage. I feel very blessed to have my lovely kids but I was also very excited and looking forward to number 9. Still feeling very confused and upset/angry about why it happened, how it happened etc. I suppose I naively thought it wouldn't happen after 8 children but here I am wondering whether to try again but knowing at 36 that if I'm going to I need to do it soon. I go from wanting to try straight away to being so scared I never want to try. I feel for all of you as this is such a shit thing to go through. I found out I had miscarried at 16:55 on Thursday 09 March. Was at work for 6pm then had DC6s 3rd birthday the day after plus an 8 hour shift. I still don't think I have processed it all properly tbh. Sending you all love, hugs and best wishes xxxx

Hi
I'm sorry for your loss.
Just for a positive story - my DS was born in 2021 with absolutely no issues and conceived with 1 month of TTC, textbook pregnancy and a good birth.
I sadly had a miscarriage at 6wk2 in Jan this year after falling pregnant on the 2nd month of TTC.
Then around 3 weeks later, I conceived another baby and I'm currently 16 weeks pregnant - after falling pregnant on the 1st try. All looks fine so far. I must say that I tracked ovulation on this try - which I had never done previously.
I never imagined it would happen to me but feel lucky that I seem to become pregnant quickly. If we try for a 3rd, I think I will be much more prepared for things to not necessarily be as easy as it was with my 1st.
Also, my husband very frequently works away which helped me in deciding to TTC straight away as I didn't want to miss an opportunity - I think I'd have been less sure otherwise and maybe would have wanted to wait. I'm happy with my decision now though.
Wishing you all the best on your journey 💞

I fell pregnant with DD1 in my mid thirties. Took only a couple of months. Had a fabulous pregnancy and birth.

Started trying for another when she was 18 months. Didn't fall pregnant for over 18 months of trying. Had tests for secondary infertility which were inconclusive.

Fell pregnant not long after. MC at 12 weeks.

9 months later pregnant again. Another MC at 12 weeks.

Gave up.

Then fell pregnant by chance in my forties. Had a very nervous pregnancy but DD2 arrived at full term.

So a happy ending. But there was a lot of pain and anguish to get there. I feel very lucky.

@AnotherEllie This is almost identical to my situation. My partner works away also so I’m worried about missing my window. He goes back to work this month on what will be CD15 for me so hoping I ovulate before then. Have you found you’ve been more anxious this time around?

I hate when women think there to old. I'm 38 had twins last year and a single this year. Usually an mc is your body's way of saying it wasn't a conceivable pregnancy for it to carry on its not usually anything you've done or haven't done it's your body saying it wasn't going to be a healthy pregnancy thus aborting it. This does not mean you will not conceive again quite quickly should you wish to unless you already have some underlying health problem which may affect this.

@Rainbowdust1993 it's difficult with partners who work away (especially when you aren't sure what your cycle will do). I was lucky it worked on our first try after the loss but I was worrying about it a lot.

I don't feel more anxious at this point. I was nervous before the scan but then felt reassured. I am quite confident that things will be fine now - and ongoing nausea I am taking as a good sign. I do think that, as PP said, my last pregnancy just wasn't viable and nothing I could have done would have changed that. That helped me feel better about things.

Fingers crossed it works for you this time / you are together for your fertile window soon!

@HoneyPea @SnookyPook @LadyJ2023 @Kentlassie @soupmaker thank you all for sharing your stories. It’s such a hard time I think because both times I’ve fallen pregnant it has been first try, and my first pregnancy was a breeze, so I just expected to be able to carry as easy again. It does make me feel better thinking it wasn’t a healthy pregnancy and my body knew so that’s why it couldn’t stay, as opposed to something I have done or didn’t do.
It doesn’t help that my sister in law is pregnant and due 4 days before I was. She’s had her 12 week scan sending me pictures of scans and baby clothes and it hurts a lot knowing that’s the stage id be at now too. Hopefully will get my rainbow very very soon 🙏🏼💖

@AnotherEllie Thank you. I’m currently on CD5. My partner goes back to work in 11 days so I’m praying I ovulate before he goes 🙏🏼 will keep you updated. Never tracked my ovulation before but think I will be this time. Thanks so much for your messages of reassurance x

Oh @Rainbowdust1993 I so feel for you. I can remember thinking everyone around me was pregnant when I was struggling. It's absolutely alright to have a good cry and to avoid some people at times. I still wince seeing scans on social media 10 years after my struggles. Keeping everything crossed for you.

Yes 3 easy textbook baby’s then a miscarriage and 2 months after was pregnant again and now have a 6 month old.
sorry for your loss.

@Luckyonetwo Thanks so much for your positive story. I’m praying and hoping I am the same and conceive soon with a. Healthy pregnancy 🙏🏼💖

@soupmaker Yes I’ve been dodging quite a good few people and I won’t apologise for it. We have to look after ourselves don’t we as only we know how it feels 💖💖💖

@Rainbowdust1993 It was also first or second month for me all 5times. I had a google and thought maybe I had 'Unfussy womb' or 'hyper fertility' basically any egg implants viable or not. So decided it couldn't hurt to try and improve egg and sperm quality to up the chance of it being viable.

@HoneyPea Yes same as me, I’ve been taking CoQ10, folic acid and some DHA to try and improve overall health for ttc this next time as you say it can’t hurt to try. X

You recognise that 'pregnant first go, no complications' isn't textbook, right? First go is statistically unusual and complications are very common in pregnancy. You were lucky - not the same as textbook.

Miscarriages are nobody's fault. You seem to be connecting your healthy pregnancy with your body doing something 'right', thus being surprised by this being 'wrong'. Miscarriages are a (sad) fact of conception. 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage, likely more in that very very early pregnancy stage. They're not caused by fault, bad bodies etc. You are not at fault, just as you weren't the reason for your no complications first pregnancy. Be kind to yourself and recognise that, whilst desperately sad, this is the game and statistics of conception. Unfortunately, for us all.

Wishing you lots of luck with another conception and healthy pregnancy.

I am sorry for your loss. What happened is not an issue with your fertility - in fact you have conceived twice really really quickly so suggests you are pretty dang fertile.

1 in 4 pregnancies do not work out, most early in trimester 1 like for you. This is mostly chromosomal - the egg and sperm are a bad combo. Fertile humans have a lottt of eggs and sperm cells, unfortunately some are a bit duff. Some of these duff combos are discarded even before implantation (so no positive test). As you age, the percentage that are a bit duff increase, but for most people it's still low. Miscarriage early on is the natural process of discarding that implanted egg/sperm combo that never could have resulted in a healthy pregnancy.

If this happens over and over, then there may be factors contributing like those @HoneyPea described (or issues with progesterone or immune response). However 1 or 2 miscarriages are likely to be statistical bad luck, which is why the NHS only investigate after 3.

At this point, this is really likely to just be shitty luck on this attempt TTC. You could start taking vitamins to make sure eggs are sperm are in tip top shape but there's nothing else that would be indicated and your fertility is probably fine. Best of luck to you all 😊

This. You speak of miscarriage almost as if it's a rare event that has befallen you when you thought you were perfectly placed to have babies. I would say that most women I know have had one, it msy be difficult and sad for you but in medical terms and at population level it is commonplace and entirely natural. There is not necessarily any great reason why this happened to you with this pregnancy, you may as well ask 'why not me?". I hope I don't sound harsh but you won't be served by stressing unduly or beating yourself about it what it means, because the chances are that you will go on to have a perfectly normal third pregnancy which goes to term. We cannot control everything, letting go of THAT illusion is something you should think about.

So sorry OP! Miscarriage is heartbreaking and not being talked about nearly enough.

I had a baby in 2018 easy conception etc. fell pregnant with baby n2 autumn 2021, miscarried in Jan 2022 at 12 weeks. After a few months of getting my iron levels up, fell pregnant with baby n3. Now have a healthy 9 month old. When I was in hospital going through D&C doctors didn’t even seem concerned, they said it’s absolutely ’normal’ to have a miscarriage unless it’s reoccurring. No tests needed. I went to a private gyno after and they confirmed that there was nothing wrong with me, just one of these things.