MMC - stopped growing 11 weeks found out at 12 week scan

[Motheroftwo22]

Hi everyone, had a bit of devastating news. Just writing this post while waiting in hospital for ERPC.

Went for 12 week scan and had the dreaded news that there was no longer a heartbeat. Don’t think anyone can prepare you for that moment when you just know something is wrong. Baby had stopped growing around 11 weeks although because of irregular periods and early scans I thought I’d actually only be measuring around 11 weeks or so anyway. I just don’t understand, I had 3 early scans all showing healthy heartbeat, one was just 10 days before. Needless to say, I am devastated. After having two kids (4 and 1) I just did not expect this to happen. It’s funny because I had a bad feeling at the start of this pregnancy I was going to lose it but because at 10 weeks we’d seen a heartbeat I thought we were in the clear.

I can’t find many stories of people losing a baby who did grow to 11 weeks, most MMC are discovered at 12 week scan and baby seemed to reach 5-8 weeks of growth. I suppose just looking a bit of comfort from someone with a similar experience to this. The scan photo I got home too looks like a perfectly healthy little baby. I feel like my body has failed me. And I am terrified of ever being pregnant again. Family are saying I should be happy as I have two kids already and there are people in worse situations, and of course they are bringing a real comfort at the moment. I do understand but It’s also probably not the best comments to be making to me right now in a fragile state.

I had a few issues with my thyroid before pregnancy but was told it was normal at a blood test when I found out I was pregnant and struggled a good bit with anxiety as well as house move in the past 7 weeks. I can’t help but feel maybe it’s my fault in some way, that I did something, maybe my thyroid levels are high again. Anyway…

Thanks to anyone taking time to read this

@Rabbitjungle1 thank you for sharing. Did you have your d&c procedures on NHS? Thank you for the very good advice, I'm gonna phone the EPU first thing Monday morning and talk to them again. They only offered me expectant management or medical management, they didn't mention a surgical option. I am booked in on Wednesday for medical management but a few of my friends who are nurses and the midwife I was seeing privately all think surgical option would be better for me. So many opinions that it's difficult to know what is best! I am also trying to choose the option that will give me best chance of a healthy pregnancy later on.

@LauraIsobel21 i am still ttc after the miscarriage. Unfortunately have had no success since in the last 6 months but I did have a healthy pregnancy in the past a few years before the miscarriage . It took me ages to conceive before the Mmc. Please try not to worry too much I was told by many people including the consultant who did the d&c that most people go on to have a healthy pregnancy after a miscarriage. It’s more common than we realise. Two of my sisters friends had a missed miscarriage around the same time as me which I was surprised to hear . I know where you are coming from regarding the surgery, I knew immediately that was the option I wanted to go for

No. You are entitled to a D&C. This is not their decision to make. I have been through this twice. D&C was by far the most easy on me physically. If I was you I'd call up and say you want a D&C at the earliest opportunity and feel you have not been given the appropriate info and choices. Do not go private. You are entitled to this on the NHS.

I'm so sorry you have been through this. I have had two kissed miscarriages. But I went in to have two healthy babies. Both times I got pregnant almost immediately after. So if you feel psychologically ready (I know you might not) then just go for it. It doesn't mean you can't a have a baby. It's soooo common. I hope you get some resolution and good luck

@Kdubs1981 thank you so much. I am definitely going to call the EPU in the morning and talk to them about d&c, I am not very good at being assertive but I think I need to be on this!
Thank you also for giving me hope for the future, nice to hear you got pregnant again quickly and had healthy pregnancies.

@cornflakes86 thank you again for your kind words and yes it definitely seems to be more common than I realised. Good luck with your ttc journey and I hope you get the news you want soon❤️

@LauraIsobel21 yes, both my D&C were NHS, and both were very straightforward. Physically I was back to normal in 48 hours. As a PP said, you are entitled to this procedure on the NHS - I'm baffled as to why it wasn't offered to you in the first place. Good luck tomorrow!

@LauraIsobel21 how are you doing?

@cornflakes86 Hi, thank you for your message. I'm ok thanks, I had an appointment with a lovely nurse on Monday who explained everything and I chose medical management in the end. I have it all behind me now and currently waiting to hopefully be discharged from hospital this morning. Doctors and nurses were really amazing and I'm hoping I can go home now and begin the healing process.

@LauraIsobel21 glad to hear it went ok. I hope you have some nice self care activities planned for the coming days ❤

This happened to me as well. Baby had stopped growing at 11 weeks and we’d also seen a healthy heartbeat at a few earlier scans. I got pregnant again next cycle after the ERPC. I put myself on low dose aspirin and not sure if that made the difference but I’d taken it before with my previous full term pregnancy so decided to do it again. She’s 2 now. It’s a really hard thing but I don’t think it’s as uncommon as all that. My SIL also had the same news at her twelve week scan

@toomanyleggings I'm so sorry this happened to you too. Thank you so much for the advice though. I am 39 and I wanted this baby so much- I keep thinking this means I can't have children but maybe I need to be more positive. Maybe that will come in time, at the moment it's all too raw for me.