Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Miscarriage experiences - natural, medical or surgery?

36 replies

amyandezra · 13/01/2023 05:40

Found out yesterday that I had a missed miscarriage. I was 11 weeks but they said it wasn’t measuring past 6 weeks.

I started bleeding on Wednesday, small blobby clots which turned into long stringy clots, but no actual “tissue” as far as I think. The bleeding is on and off, and only when I go to the toilet (nothing in between). No pain or cramping really yet.

I have a 7 month old and I’m scared that the pain and bleeding is going to hit me like a tonne of bricks when I’m home alone with him. For this reason I’m considering medical or surgical treatment so I can plan for someone to look after him while it is done. I couldn’t bear for me to be at home and not be able to look after him because I’m in agony or stuck on the toilet.

if you have experience of either, please let me know. I’m also very keen to get this over and done with - the grief is enough without having to wait for it all to come out:

Thank you

OP posts:

MaverickGooseGoose · 13/01/2023 05:46

I had an ERPC, it was over and done with and drew a line under it for me. It was a very easy surgery I went in at 9 and was home by 12.

I was told though that I would have to wait two weeks and I didn't want that so went private and had the surgery the next day so it's something you are considering find out the wait times in your area. This was ten years ago.

Sorry for your your loss.

Flatandhappy · 13/01/2023 05:46

So sorry this has happened to you. My first miscarriage was week 12 with my first pregnancy, like you baby has stopped growing a few weeks earlier, first I knew I started to bleed. I went to the hospital and they did a d&c, I liked the “closure” element. Second one was awful, I had taken my 4yo to my 12 week scan as DH was away and he was very excited about seeing his brother or sister on screen. No heartbeat found. I was offered a choice of just letting nature take it’s course or coming in for a d&c as day surgery. Again I chose the d&c for the same reasons. Good luck whatever you decide and be nice to yourself, it’s a shitty thing to happen but so common x

Pollywoddles · 13/01/2023 05:55

I’ve had natural and 2 ERPCs and I’d always choose the ERPC. As a PP said, it draws a line under it and I found it easier to move on once I was only dealing with the emotional aspect.

onelostsoulswimminginafishbowl · 13/01/2023 08:46

I would chose surgical. I have had both and currently going through a third. I found natural much harder to deal with and I was only 8.5 weeks with growth stopped at 6.
Sorry you are going through this. Its a shitty club to be in.

ForensicFlossy · 13/01/2023 08:54

I had one natural and one emergency erpc. With the erpc I was stuck at home for a time with a toddler in incredible pain so I completely understand your concerns. I also agree with pp that an erpc helps to draw a line under it. So sorry for your loss x

Whataretheodds · 13/01/2023 09:35

I had an ERPC after medical management had not completed (I'd started pasaing clots before medical management). My surgery was at lunchtime and i ended up not being discharged that day, but i didn't need any pain relief once the GA wore off and the residual bleeding was minimal.

Advantage of ERPC/MVA is that it's a bit more predictable but if you have to wait 2 weeks for the appointment then no guarantee you won't have done the hard bit before your slot. I'd ask your nurse /EPU about that. They can prescribe something stronger for the pain.

DottyLittleRainbow · 13/01/2023 09:40

Ah I’m sorry OP, it’s shit. I had an MVA for a missed miscarriage last year (should have been 13 weeks but measured 8-9) and in terms of management much preferred it to the dragged out natural miscarriages I had previously experienced. This was like a version of an ERPC but under local rather than general anaesthetic. Do you have follow up with your EPAU to discuss you options? Make sure you seek medical advice if you have any significant pain or heavy bleeding, or are feeling unwell.

CupidStunt24 · 13/01/2023 09:57

Sorry for your loss
I had a missed miscarriage in Feb last year, no heartbeat detected. I had an MVA, was over very quickly.

Was given a suppository to put up my bum to numb everything (worked a treat!) and once that had taken affect, had some numbing injections in my cervix. A little bit crampy whilst the procedure was being done - bit uncomfortable but bearable and as I say, so quick. Must have only taken about 10mins and was put in a little recover room with a blanket, some biscuits and a nice sugary cup of tea. Was in and out back home within a couple of hours. Minimal bleeding afterwards.

Practically this worked as I had a toddler at home and was terrified of miscarrying at home whilst trying to look after him. The mental aspect for me personally was better too, very much "done and over with". I appreciate not everyone feels this way and everyone's experience is different. But if I am unfortunate enough to be in that situation again, that's what I would choose over and over.

I hope you're ok

TheMagicSword · 13/01/2023 10:00

I had a natural miscarriage. No pain at all, but I bled far too much and ended up in hospital for a week. I’d opt for surgical if I had another.

purpledalmation · 13/01/2023 10:06

I had a missed miscarriage at 12 weeks. Was in a hospital cubicle after being given medication and they monitored the loss and controlled the pain.

Whataretheodds · 13/01/2023 10:42

I'm now in a recovery room after MVA, drinking sugary tea and eating a sandwich.

V similar experience to @CupidStunt24 so far. Lots of deep breathing during the procedure. The BIG difference compared with expectant/medical management is you know the procedure is unlikely to go on for more than 30 mins.

uggmum · 13/01/2023 10:47

I have had 2 miscarriages. One natural and the other surgical.

I recovered much quicker from the surgical one. My hormones returned to normal almost straight away.

I felt better mentally and physically so much quicker than the natural one.

CupidStunt24 · 13/01/2023 11:02

I hope you're ok @Whataretheodds and back home and comfortable soon

Just to add and to second above poster, my hormones returned to normal very quickly. I was still testing positive 3wks after the procedure, so did have to go in for a scan to check all was clear. Everything was clear, however it was picked up that I was ovulating, and 2 weeks after that my period returned, so very minimal in the way of disruption there.

Bowbellsx · 13/01/2023 11:05

I had my first miscarriage at 16 I was 12 weeks the heartbeat stopped at 8 I had a d & c, then went on to have four more the last being the worst I’m not putting my body through it no more

Whataretheodds · 13/01/2023 14:10

Thanks @CupidStunt24

@amyandezra did your early pregnancy unit talk you through your options and give any indication of timescales?

67oonkin · 13/01/2023 15:17

We found out today at 9 weeks that our pregnancy stopped developing around 6 weeks. I've opted to do a medical miscarriage which I'll start tomorrow morning. This is our first miscarriage and I don't know what to expect. I opted for medical rather than D&C. I was scared that if I didn't go through it that I'd struggle to accept it. I'm not sure if that even makes sense to anyone else. My brain is so scrambled

LMM91x · 13/01/2023 15:25

@67oonkin hi there - I found out yesterday so I’m right there with you :( stopped developing at 7w when i went for a scan yesterday at 9+5. I’ve started to bleed already but I’m booked in for a dnc on Monday if it doesn’t fully progress this weekend, my concern was prolonging it any longer than necessary so opted for surgical. Be kind to yourself and take it easy over the weekend, it’s just so sad 😞

Whataretheodds · 13/01/2023 16:09

@67oonkin
@LMM91x
Definitely go gently with yourselves.
@67oonkin i also had a thing in my head about doing it 'properly'. There is a thread on this board today by a poster who's just done medical at home. Plenty of women do it just fine, but if you change your mind that's fine too.

Got2besoon · 13/01/2023 16:15

I'm sorry OP.

I had a medical at home and it was no worse than a normal period pain wise but there were quite a few large clots.

I was about 8.5 weeks but baby measured 6.

I took ibuprofen just in case but never felt I needed it.

Got2besoon · 13/01/2023 16:17

Oh and with regards time, I took the tablets in the morning and passed what I presume was the small foetus at about 6pm.

I couldn't have worked in the office that day due to the amount of blood but worked from home all day with no issue.

67oonkin · 13/01/2023 16:35

@LMM91x I'm sorry you are also going through this. It's on odd kind of grief. Feels different to anything I've ever felt.

@Whataretheodds i don't know why my brain thinks this is the right way. I don't know if I'm punishing myself cause I feel like it's my fault (total irrational I know). I'm just going with my gut and hopefully this is the right decision.

Whataretheodds · 13/01/2023 23:54

@67oonkin it is not your fault. The odds that the miscarriage is in any way down to something you did or didn't do is absolutely miniscule. There is no penance for this. I felt like a weakling for not wanting natural/expectant or medical this time after my experience last time. My partner and the doctor set me straight. There are no heroics. You don't have to go through pain and trials to 'deserve' a healthy baby. That's not how it works.

lovemycbf · 14/01/2023 00:07

I opted to do a mmc naturally and it took over a month to start then was absolutely awful labour pains ,lots of blood and everything came away at once and ended up in hospital
If I had another I'd opt for medical management or d&c as for me it prolonged the emotional stress

67oonkin · 14/01/2023 10:02

@Whataretheodds oh I know! My rational brain knows that. My brain is just a bit scrambled though. I started the misoprostol this morning. Hoping it all goes smoothly and quickly

Whataretheodds · 14/01/2023 10:27

Sending you best wishes

Flip

1 2