2 consecutive miscarriages

[Anusername]

I would like to get some advice on how to manage emotions after consecutive miscarriages.

We have started to TTC for #2 since May. I had 2 consecutive missed miscarriages (feeling v pregnant with no miscarriage signs until scan). First time in July where I was supposed to be 9 weeks and found the baby stopped growing at 6 weeks 5 days from a private scan and had D/C at 10 weeks. I had always have a bad feeling and wasn’t too surprised (very weird). I went back to work 2 days after surgery. Then I felt pregnant again after one cycle (unexpectedly as we wanted to wait a bit longer), and this time I was having a lot of hope. I had bad early pregnancy symptoms up until my scan at 10 weeks. I was thinking maybe I could ask the sonographer whether the baby has good NT measurement. We didn’t expect at all she would say the bad news. I had my D/C yesterday since it’s another missed miscarriage. I waited for my surgery from 7am to 4pm for my turn. I was devastated. Any small things would trigger a lot of emotions. I would cry when I see pregnant women wearing “baby on board” and feared to go through next two weeks where I planned to announce my pregnancy and have my NT scan. It also causes me a lot of pain of watching friends posting pictures of their happy holidays with two children. I’m positive one second and tearful the next. The 2nd miscarriage has caused so much more pain. It has also taken my hope away of leaving my job earlier.

the plan is that we will stop trying for some time and I’d like to do some tests first. Sometimes I wonder whether I should proactively do something or I should just try to not think too much but play casual..

Sorry for your losses I've also had two MMC this year the emotions are hard and I have better days than others. After the second I started reading it starts with an egg which has some good supplement recommendations as like you I wondered if we should go for testing but as we already have a DS I know that everything can work out for us but I am a little older now almost 37 so I though I would give some of the vitamins and supplements a go before the testing route and if we are unlucky and have a 3rd then we will get tested. I have seen so so many pregnancy announcements and some hit harder than others. Just take each day as it comes ❤️ I have found joining a lovely group of ladies on the conception forum a massive help they have all been through it and it's nice to chat to others that get your feelings

Thanks so much for your message @mummatara so sorry for your losses too. It’s such a roller coaster isn’t it. and it’s hard to not self-doubt. Yes I’m also planning to have some vitamins and exercise more (have gained a lot of weight during lockdown). It’ll do no harm any way. Will try again when im physically and mentally repaired. But this time I’ll give myself more time. Im 35 and time is also running out. That does stress me from time to time. But I just don’t think I can go through this process any time soon..

In exactly the same position here. Two MMCs this year and trying to figure out whether to go for testing (and decide where/who to see with all their different opinions!) or just try and see it as just unlucky like everyone in the nhs keeps saying and relax, take a few months to get all the right vits etc and try again. @mummatara do you have the link to the thread? I feel SO alone with two MMC. It’s not fair as I’ve not experienced it but I feel like I’d feel a tiny, tiny bit less anxious about doing it all again if I had any signs whatsoever it was happening.
Im so sorry you’re both going through this. It’s just an awful place to be and feels so out of our hands xx

@MamaW05 hopefully this link works 🙈

www.mumsnet.com/talk/conception/4660277-ttc-after-miscarriage-thread-13?page=2

If not it's on the conception board and called TTC after miscarriage thread 13 they are a lovely group of supportive ladies in there ❤️ MMC hit so hard don't they because there is just no warning not that any other type of MC is less difficult but you get a bit of false sense of security that all is fine ☹️ xx

@MamaW05 So sorry for your losses too. I’m also feeling very lonely deep inside too so I know what you mean. I’ve decided to go for testing because I can’t bear not knowing what’s happening… the decision itself has already put my mind at ease. I’m feeling much better physically and I have also gone back to work and it can be a distraction. Hope you will soon feel better physically and emotionally!

@mummatara yhank you will have a look for when we are ready!
@Anusername could I ask where you are going for tests? I’m finding it hard to decipher it all online and pick where we might go x

I will go privately to St Mary’s hospital. Either Dr Rai or Dr Regan. I think they might have similar approaches but not 100% sure.

I am thinking the same. I did make an initial enquiry and would have been able to see Dr Rai in a week (she said it’s usually 1-2) but I think Dr Regan can be longer, but believe they both follow the same testing and protocols x

I’m sorry to read about your losses.

I found this thread as I just discovered my second mmc - consecutive.

I don’t have any children so I’m worried this isn’t going to happen. I’ve been referred for testing so like your plan, I hope to gain some clarity for when we try again - after a while I expect

Hope you can find some peace after what has happened - and that physically your recovery has been as smooth as it can be

Sorry to hear of your losses @Kappi and thinking of you having just found out. I hope the recovery goes as well for you as possible.
that’s good you have managed to get a referral after 2. Do you know where you will go? X

Thank you for reaching out - such a lonely time and any connection I get means a lot right now.

From what the consultant said yesterday it sounds like they will be calling me back to the hospital I was seen at - rather than one of the clinics based in London or anything. If that make sense. I had initially asked if I could talk with one of the consultants at the EPU as I had concerns about my familial thyroid problems - I’m not diagnosed but it had crossed my mind. So it was the consultant that did my scan yesterday. I expect then that I’m just fortunate they offered to see me again in the future. I think it’s because both miscarriages have been at 7/8 weeks.

Im hoping it’s not chromosomal as I don’t know if that can be ‘treated’ / ‘supported’

probably time to step away from Google!

Baby aspirin - totally safe to take. Ask for it specifically at the pharmacist - it's a low dose aspirin. I personally would just take it now - have a quick google.

Oh so pleased for you that you managed to speak to a consultant there. Mine were both at 7.5-8.5 weeks too.
I hope you get in to see them soon, would love to hear how you get on.
And yes - Google has not been my friend, especially since the second x

@CoastalWave hi! I agree with you - I took it too late I think, started it at just before 7 weeks because I was going on a very short flight. I think the consultant suggested take the cyclogest again, with thyroxin (if bloods show is needed) and aspirin.

thank you for replying - I was worried I’d be feeling alone the second time around! X

@MamaW05 oh I’m sorry to hear about your losses too - it’s just so hard.

they said they would see me once I have the negative test after this miscarriage- so they can scan me not pregnant. And also do bloods. I’m happy to check back in and update if it’s useful. I found reading others updates quite helpful.

Google can be great - or it can be the worst!

Are you currently ttc? If so I hope things go your way soon - it’s just torture xx

Oh that is great, I’m glad they have a plan in place for you. It would be really helpful to hear how it goes if you feel able to share any updates!

just 2 weeks post the last D&C so not trying here again yet and feel a bit too scared to without having any kind of investigations first, but where I have enquired they like you to be 4-6 weeks post loss before testing, so feel a bit in limbo at the moment!

so hard, I’d love to be pregnant again but equally nothing feels more terrifying x

ah let me know how it goes for you! I have also booked an appointment with Dr Rai. Since I had D&C only a week go I will see him in three weeks. I have some suspicions that it might be autoimmune related since I have scalp psoriasis. But I hope it’s just really bad luck.

@Anusername I suspect mine could be also.. as I have pretty bad eczema flare ups!

I’m sorry for my earlier posts.. I misread the notifications thinking the responses were on the similarly titled thread I started. I didn’t intend to hijack your thread! Xx

@Kappi I think eczema might not be categorized as an autoimmune disease. Are you considering getting checked up?

Sorry to hear of your losses.

I was in a similar boat, saw DR Regan and discovered i have factor v leiden. Had clexane throughout my subsequent (successful) pregnancies. I believe faaar more people have it than we are currently aware of

Ah I suspect I have something similar to that. Do you mind me asking if you have other autoimmune disease?

@Anusername I didn’t really think it was, so that makes sense! it was the consultant that asked about it and my thyroid. they offered to see me after I’ve passed this pregnancy and got my negative test. It’s all so complicated isn’t it! I just wish I knew why both pregnancies stopped between 7 and 8 weeks.

I hope you find some answers for you and your partner x

Hi OP
No nothing else found, i was so surprised although my DGD was on blood thinners in his later years