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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

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Original poster

2nd m/c

44 replies

belgo · 30/12/2007 12:02

Hi,

I've just had a second m/c, this time at six weeks. Last July I m/cd at 7 weeks, and although everything happened naturally, I still had a scan to make sure everything was ok, and it was.

This time, the m/c is clearly at an earlier stage, and also seems to have happened naturally, and my question is, do I need a scan this time?

I am fortunate enough to have two children; I just wish I didn't want a third baby so much

OP posts:

Original poster

belgo · 03/01/2008 10:09

thanks you, especially to those of you who were also there for me after my first m/c. I have an appointment with my GP tonight.

And to those of you who have been through similar.

It's hard enought to cope with and I have two children to comfort me; I can't imagine how devastating this is if you don't have children and are facing the possibility of never having any.

Gumbo and Jackstini- so sorry to hear you have both been through recently.

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Original poster

belgo · 03/01/2008 10:30

And I also feel guilty. To be complaining about myself when so many of you have been through so much worse.

And it is my fault - if I didn't want another baby, I would never have had two miscarriages. Maybe I'm tempting fate by wanting a thrid.

But now that I have had two miscarriages I cannot give up on the idea of another baby - otherwise all of this would have been pointless.

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Gumbo · 03/01/2008 10:42

Belgo, I know exactly what you mean. I feel guilty about wanting a 2nd when I know a couple down the road who've had 3 miscarriages and have accepted that they will be childless.

But my DH is finding trying again a lot harder than me and is terrified that I might have to go through yet another m/c. Somehow we both need to get to a place where we're comfortable about trying again...

I hope your pain doesn't last too long. Take paracetamol and lie down if you can. Good luck!

kindersurprise · 03/01/2008 10:48

Don't feel guilty, a miscarriage is a terrible loss, regardless if you are childless or already have children.

Original poster

belgo · 03/01/2008 10:51

thanks gumbo - my dh seems to be buying his head in the sand (or rather DIY and work!) - he really won't talk about it - but the other day dd1 found some old baby clothes and dh told her they would be for a new baby. It's hard to know how he's feeling, but I'm fairly certain that he doesn't want to be confronted with my emotions - which is why I'm here on mumsnet.

He has said we will try again - once more. One more chance, and that's it. I'm not sure how I feel aout that - I don't really feel very much right now at all - I just can't think about it.

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Gumbo · 03/01/2008 10:57

It's very early days - be kind to yourself and give yourself a bit of time. Your body is going through a lot, and emotionally you're also trying to cope with a great deal.

corblimeymadam · 03/01/2008 11:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Jackstini · 03/01/2008 11:50

Oh Belgo don't feel guilty, every lost baby is something to feel sad about, just because other people have losses doesn't make yours any less.
I do know what you mean - it makes the dc you have far more precious in a way.
Please know you are not tempting fate and it is not your fault, hope your GP is gentle with you tonight. Do take it easy, it is very early on.
Gumbo - my dh is same, the last mc I had he was petrified I would have to go through another D&C (I didn't) and now he is worried for when/if I get pregnant again.
We can't win can we - worried if we get pg, sad if we don't!

Original poster

belgo · 03/01/2008 11:56

thank you all of you. I think I just assumed that I would get over this 'just like that' - especially as it is an early m/c - and now I'm really surprised that phyisically I still feel so awful. I am actually beginning to wonder if it's not all happening naturally as it should. I'm glad I'm seeing the GP tonight, I think I need to.

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Jackstini · 03/01/2008 14:05

Very normal to feel like this - let us know how it goes with the GP Belgo x

Original poster

belgo · 03/01/2008 17:30

hi, I've just been to my GP, she was great, she said if I'm not significantly better by next monday then I have to go for a scan.

And she also told me not to lose hope, and that I have to speak to my dh about how I feel and how he feels!

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Jackstini · 03/01/2008 22:16

Glad your appt went well Belgo - let us know what happens in next few days - will be thinking of you

orangehead · 03/01/2008 22:20

Still thinking of you belgo

Original poster

belgo · 04/01/2008 08:15

thanks you for the kind words and thoughts. I'm feeling a little better this morning, hopefully it will last.

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berolina · 04/01/2008 08:21

belgo, still thinking of you. Do CAT me if you want to get in touch.

Original poster

belgo · 04/01/2008 08:36

thank you berolina - I've jsut started telling some RL friends and they are proving very supportive, I'm very lucky. A lot of my friends have been through similar.

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Gumbo · 04/01/2008 08:48

Thinking of you Belgo, glad you're feeling a bit better. And you're extremely luckly to have supportive RL friends at a time like this - a lot of people tend to suddenly become very unavailable when they hear about the 2nd m/c...

I hope your pain lessens today, too!

Original poster

belgo · 04/01/2008 09:08

Gumbo - it seems as though it is incredibly common amoungst women once you get talking about it.

My GP was so reassuring last night, and dh was lovely this morning.

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Gumbo · 04/01/2008 09:14

It's great you're getting so much support!

I found that absolutely loads of women have had 1 m/c, but I've come across very few who've had more than 1 (except on MN!) And the (very) few people who were supportive the 1st time around had no idea what to do/say the 2nd time, so just sort of dissappeared and/or said nothing...

Anyway, I'm glad people are being good to you, and that your DH is looking after you!

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