Missed miscarriage experience & questions, any advice appreciated!!

[MrsZeeDee]

Hi ladies, I had a missed miscarriage recently - this week I was supposed to be 11 weeks but had an early scan this week and found out the baby no longer had a heartbeat and it had passed away inside of me at 7 weeks. I had to have MVA surgery 4 days ago. Me and my partner feel so heartbroken, we really wanted this baby 💔 Has anyone had a similar experience? The doctors told me I need to wait for bleeding to stop, wait to take a pregnancy test which needs to come back as negative, and wait for at least one period of cycle to come back before we start TTC again - is this right?? What was your TTC journeys like after having a missed miscarriage and how long did it take for you to get pregnant again? Would love to hear your experiences, thanks!

My sincere commiserations to you and your partner OP.

The same thing happened to my first pregnancy in July, 31 years ago.
I don't recall the advice given to us at the time, but I do remember that my body healed faster than my emotions. I felt 'empty' for a good while.

I conceived very quickly once we started to try again and our first son was born in the November of the following year. He is with us today celebrating his big three-ow and is a delight!

Take your time. You know that you can conceive and there is every reason to believe that you will have a healthy pregnancy soon.

Hey, I’m sorry for your loss. It’s such a difficult time, I had a missed miscarriage (found out at 9 weeks, baby had stopped developing at 6) at the end of May this year. I was just desperate to get pregnant again, and remember being furious when I got a faint positive three weeks later.

I bled for longer than i expected, on-off until my next period about six weeks later, and then used ovulation sticks so I could get a handle on my cycle. I got my positive in August, and am now just under halfway there (19 weeks). Hopefully this gives you a bit of hope.

Sending you lots of love - I found the first trimester this time round quite tricky, I didn’t want to book in for my scan/mw appointments etc because cancelling them last time had been so devastating.

Assumed to be 8 weeks but foetus was just under 6 weeks. Wasn't my first pregnancy so assume why it was like labour.. Timeable contractions and the urge to push. A perfect tiny form. While at a job (cleaner).. Customer came home and made me a cuppa. Lit her open fire and left me to my thoughts... Actually holding it gave me closure and tbh I recovered quite well.. Never ttc again.
Sorry for your loss op.
Ime ttc is a gruelling business for some.
You need to be tough op.

So sorry to hear this, found out my baby had died at 12 week scan, was alone and utterly devastated. I left it a couple of cycles and then started trying again. Within 3 months I was pregnant - with twin girls! Keep the faith, you never know where life can lead you. Sending love x

Hello, i’m so sorry this has happened to you. I found out at my 12 week scan that my baby had died at 9 weeks old. I was devastated and it took me a long time to stop feeling guilty and overwhelmed with grief.

I took some time out before ttc, because i wasn’t able to process it and knew it wouldn’t be right for me. When we did try a few months later we conceived pretty quickly (maybe 6 months after the mmc?), had no problems with the pregnancy, and that baby is going to turn two this week and is a joy. Which is a longwinded way of saying give yourself time and care and sympathy and try again when you are really ready, and there is no reason it would be the same in another pregnancy.

Hi OP, really sorry you've been through this. It's awful. My first pregnancy ended in mmc, baby got to 7ish weeks, found out at 12 week scan at the end if March. I opted for natural management, which was brutal, but cathartic. Every management method has pros and cons. I ovulated a few weeks after the completion and we tried imnediately, but it did feel a bit soon. After another 2 cycles I fell pregnant. Now 20 weeks along, baby looks great on the scan. I think waiting a cycle is a good idea. Go easy on yourselves, try to do exercise you enjoy, eat and drink what you want for a bit. Good luck x

@rosegoldwatcher thank you so much for sharing and for your reassurance, what a beautiful outcome with your son! 😍 I definitely feel that emptiness right now but hopefully with time we will be able to move forward.

Thank you so so much @Guineapiggiesmalls I'm so sorry you had a MMC too, it is so horrific 💔 So happy for you that you have a bubba on the way now! Wishing you all the best with this pregnancy, this definitely does give me so much hope! 💕

Sorry for your loss OP, I had a mmc that was discovered at the 12 week scan after our second, and last round of ivf.

It was/is devastating, sending you love x

@Santaischeckinglists thank you so much for sharing your story, I'm so sorry that you had to go through that!! TTC is definitely a gruelling process for some, I am definitely keeping strength and hope for a try again when we are ready x

@blueshiningsea I am so sorry for your loss!! TWIN GIRLS!! What a blessing !! Sounds like an absolute dream 💕 thank you so much for sharing and sending you so much love back, absolutely keeping hope and faith that our next chapter will be successful x

As cheesey as it is, 'nature's way' takes any decision making away from you. TFMR further down the line would be much harder... Take care of yourself op

@RubaiyatOfAnyone I'm so sorry to hear of your miscarriage, I feel the same guilt you've explained too, but MCs can be totally out of our control! I'm trying so hard to get through this emotionally and know I will. So so happy to know you have a bubba now! How amazing 💕 for sure, right now both me and my husband are going to wait until being physically/emotionally ready and hoping for the best for the next time x

Sorry for your loss op. I had very similar but was told I was ok to try again once I had the negative test. Didn't need to wait for a clear cycle first.

I got pregnant again within a couple of months and my son was due a year almost to the day of when my MMC was discovered. He is 7 months now and I'm so so happy to have him.

Wishing you the absolute best of luck in future TTC. Hope you soon have a happy healthy baby.

@GeorgiaMcGraw thank you so much! I am so sorry you had to go through this! This was my first pregnancy too, never experienced a loss before so I was totally frozen/shattered at the scan seeing/and being told. We will definitely do that, right now me and hubby are grieving together, taking it easy, and will wait until we feel totally ready to try again 💕

@LawnFever I'm so so sorry for your loss!! I hope you are doing okay 💕 I really appreciate your kindness and sending so much love back x

@Santaischeckinglists It definitely is nature's way! It was not meant to be this time around, thank you so much take care of yourself too 💕

@ellenpartridge thank you so much for sharing, I'm so sorry for your loss too! Your story gives me so much hope, I hope I'll be able to get pregnant again soon when we start trying again. I'm so happy to know you have a lovely healthy son now! 💕 I really appreciate your wishes for the future, it really means so much to me! X

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I also found out at 12 weeks. We did wait one month but I was pregnant again after 6 weeks, and DS is now a teenager and a big brother. Have some time to treat yourself and your body to some rest xx

Sorry for your loss. It's so heartbreaking I know.

Currently sat in the dark with night mode on the phone as I'm breastfeeding my 4 month old to sleep. This is my long awaited rainbow baby. I was on the conception boards for two years of trying. I finally got pregnant and had a MMC which finally ended at 15 weeks. It was awful in so many ways so I totally get where you're at.

I waited until the bleeding stopped, had a negative pregnancy test and then started trying before my next period with my doctor's blessing. I wouldn't have gone against their advice otherwise would have blamed myself if I had another loss. I caught two months later. We didn't tell a soul outside medical professionals until 20+ weeks as we were so scared it might happen again.

All the best.

@octopusrus Thank you so much! I'm so so sorry for your loss too! 💕 How lovely to know of your kids now! Definitely! Letting my body recover and totally rest now. There is always light at end of the tunnel, thank you for giving me hope! x

Oh it's just horrid. I had many losses but the MMC was particularly hard - so cruel that your body still thinks it's pg and won't let it go.

However my dc are grown now but for years (decades) I have gazed at them and been so thankful that they are the ones I have because they are so wonderful.

@Flittingaboutagain Awww massive massive congratulations on your wonderful rainbow baby! 💕 I'm so sorry for your loss too how awful it must have been for you. Thank you so much for sharing this. For sure, I'll listen to doctor, and see what they advise me once the bleeding stops, hopefully we will have a happier story down the line whenever that may be x

Thank you. I really hope you have that happy ending. It's an ache like no other once you decide you want to become a mum.

@RosesAndHellebores Omg yes! It's so crazy that my body had no idea for a month after the baby had passed, I still had the sore breasts, frequent urination etc, however i did have some concerns - i felt my energy start to pick up from couple weeks ago which I found weird as prior to these last few weeks I was so tired like EXTREME fatigue and this had changed, but also I was told at 6 weeks preg I had subchorionic hematoma which had caused me to bleed a little with a little blob/clot-looking thing, but we had early 6 week scan because of it and saw baby with a fast heartbeat and was told everything looked fine, little did we know baby would stop developing a week after and carried baby for 4 weeks after it had passed 💔 Aww I can only imagine the happiness you have with your kids now, the hugest blessings ever, I hope to have some one day, so happy for you!! 💕 Thank you so much for sharing!