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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

My miscarriage experience

49 replies

pv3012 · 20/10/2021 18:17

Hi I'm new to mumsnet, never posted but have been reading threads non stop since I found out I was pregnant about 2 months ago.

I wanted to share my experience here because I thought there might be someone like me frantically reading threads to get some reassurance. I thought that if I can just help one person then it’s worth it!

I’m 36 and decided to start trying for a baby this year as we’re all told that fertility nose dives after 35. I got pregnant in month 2 of trying and we were surprised it happened so quickly but very happy.

At week 6 I started having a bit of brown spotting after BMs (very faint and only when I wiped) but I read this was normal so tried to calm myself down and decided not to think about it too much (easier said than done).

The spotting disappeared for almost a week but then it came back a bit darker. One day at 7 weeks exactly, I was out for a long walk and when I went to the toilet I wiped and found a massive dark brown clot, about the size of my index finger. I immediately freaked out and went straight to A&E. As I was not in pain or bleeding heavily then they referred me to the EPU which was closed but would open at 9am the next day.
The next day my husband and I went to the EPU where I was scanned and told they could see a sac but nothing in it. They advised we wait 10 days to see if anything changed but I knew it was over. That night I cried and cried, I felt like such a failure - I even found it difficult to see pregnant women in the street. Even though it was only 7 weeks, I had so many plans and hopes and they were all gone just like that.

After the emotional turmoil of that day, in the evening the brown blood had turned to red - and then the fear started. I thought I’d have time to get a D&C but if the blood was red already and becoming heavier than spotting I read I could be having a natural miscarriage.

I trawled through the web reading horror stories about women having horrible miscarriages and ending up in A&E. I worked myself into a panic so intense that I couldn’t breathe. That night I couldn’t sleep… I couldn’t even lie down because I was so nauseous. I could only pace around my flat in the dark reminding myself to breathe.

I wanted to write this so that anybody out there going through this knows that even though the ending up in A&E cases do happen there are also cases where it’s like a bad period. Which was my case.

The pain started on Monday afternoon, just normal period cramps that became more intense as the evening went on. I took paracetamol at the beginning of it and managed perfectly fine with that and a heat pad. The cramps were bad at times but nothing too different from a bad period. I passed a number of clots and after about 5 hours of on and off cramps I felt like I needed to go to the toilet, I felt the need to push and then a big clot fell that was about the size of my palm in length. After that the cramps almost stopped completely. I only had some minor cramps for the rest of the evening.

The next day I had some bleeding but just like a normal period and I never filled a pad with blood. So having read what I did I thought this wasn’t over and was bracing myself for it to come back. It never did - the bleeding lasted for a couple of days and then it completely stopped. I got scanned today - about 9 days after the miscarriage and they confirmed all tissues had been passed and my womb looks healthy and normal.

I just wanted to share this as this difficult experience became even more difficult due to my anxiety. Because what I read didn’t line up with my experience, I thought it wasn’t over and stressed myself out waiting for the heavy bleeding and pain that never came.

Each body is different and I think it’s important that we share our experiences - the good, the bad and the average ones also.

I do not wish anyone to go through this but unfortunately it is very common and I appreciate all of you who’ve shared your miscarriage experiences here. Even though some gave me terrible anxiety they also reassured me that this is normal and I’m not broken.

Sorry for the very long post but I do hope it helps someone out there who’s going through the same thing and wondering what to expect.

OP posts:
pv3012 · 17/01/2022 12:12

@ShouldIStaySelfIsolated

Thanks. It hit me harder than I expected... I thought that would be the easy bit, having it confirmed, especially after the awful cramping and passing of tissue last night. Feel quite numb and hollow now that the tears have stopped. I showed the nurse a picture of the tissue and she said it looked placental. The scan couldn't see any trace of the baby. I wish they'd seen me sooner, as I might have been able to get a picture of the baby at least. I'm furious and desperately sad that it took them 5 days. I know they couldn't have stopped it, but I might have got a glimpse of something.

Sorry for the rant Blush

How are you feeling @Daisycat16 ?

So sorry @ShouldIStaySelfIsolated - it's a tough thing to have to go through and I felt he same way as you. Even though I felt happy about the confirmation ( knowing the wait was over) I felt so sad and empty. I just ate and watched a lot of trash tv! Eventually I started feeling weird because the physical aches were gone but I still felt emotionally broken. I became impatient because I wanted to be ok but all I can say is that you should allow yourself to grieve and feel what you need to feel. There's no schedule for this and each person is different. I'm much better now but still have the odd cry here and there. It comes and goes but it gets better.

Hope all is ok with you @Daisycat16

OP posts:
Snowrose21 · 17/01/2022 12:28

Hi @ShouldIStaySelfIsolated I’m so sorry to hear your updates, that is so tough. I’m sorry too you had to wait so long for your scan, I had a 4 day wait for my first scan after noticing initial spotting and they were some of the most difficult days of my life. To the extent that I did actually feel a bit of relief to receive the confirmation, even if it was bad news, at least I knew. I hope that you are starting to feel a little better but also that you are giving yourself time to recover after such a dreadful week. Get some you time and I hope you really went for it with the wine and cake. Cake

@Daisycat16 I really hope you are doing okay and that things have progressed so that you can start to recover too. Sending big hugs to you Flowers

Daisycat16 · 17/01/2022 12:40

Hi, feeling very frustrated by it all now. I took the second lot of meds yesterday afternoon and so far nothing. Barely a cramp. I just feel ‘off’ and a bit bloated but no bleeding. I’ve left a message for someone to get in touch for advice as I’m thinking I might see if I can book in for a D&C x

Snowrose21 · 17/01/2022 13:03

So sorry it is dragging on so long for you @Daisycat16 - that is so tough and I hope you’re coping okay. My EPU worked on a voicemail/call back basis too which I found really hard to deal with if I just wanted to speak to someone. As if sitting around waiting for something to happen isn’t bad enough, you are then adding in something else to wait for. Maybe that’s just me but I just wished I could speak to even a receptionist to take the call at least! I really hope either way that you get this part of it over with soon xx

Daisycat16 · 17/01/2022 13:10

Thanks @Snowrose21, yes same here it works on a voicemail facility. I have tried on the off chance but it’s the waiting that’s so hard isn’t it? Maybe my idea of what to expect is really different from the reality. In my head I thought take medication, it will push things along and it would be done in a day. I didn’t think with medication it could potentially still go on for days or longer.

ShouldIStaySelfIsolated · 17/01/2022 17:16

Thanks everyone. It's all a bit up and down to be honest. Emotionally, I feel like I've levelled off a bit, but the physical stuff is just getting worse... like it's deliberately dragging on. I felt OK this morning... little pain or bleeding, and like I was coping then BAM! This afternoon I can't get off the sofa again. I was hoping to only have the rest of this week off, but I'm thinking it might be longer now.

@Daisycat16 so sorry its taking so long for you. All of the waiting is just the worst and makes it so much harder

Snowrose21 · 17/01/2022 19:10

@Daisycat16 I would have had he same expectation as you, I think that’s perfectly reasonable to think when you are getting the medical intervention that you won’t be waiting several days for it to work! I hope you managed to speak to someone?

Aww @ShouldIStaySelfIsolated sending you a big hug. Don’t push yourself too hard, it’s perfectly okay to need several days/weeks on the sofa! Don’t feel bad either, I ended up being off work for over a month and I’m never off work - and honestly I don’t feel at all guilty. I needed time to focus on me and my husband and get lots of tears out!

Daisycat16 · 17/01/2022 19:32

@Snowrose21 I did speak to someone thanks. I will be going down the surgical route as whilst I could take the medication again there’s a strong chance it won’t work given it’s not had much of an impact this time around. Just sorting out a date.

pv3012 · 18/01/2022 09:29

@Daisycat16 Sorry it's all taking so long for you! Hope you get a date soon and put an end to all the waiting.
@ShouldIStaySelfIsolated it took me at least a week and a few days to feel physically 'well'. Then I tried to go back to work but I just couldn't focus so I ended up being off for a further 2 weeks. You should do what's right for you and take all the time you need.

OP posts:
ShouldIStaySelfIsolated · 18/01/2022 10:48

@Daisycat16 its so awful that you have to do that, but you can't just keep waiting for it to happen. Hopefully they will be able to see you soon.

@pv3012 thanks. I'm going to jeep myself a few days more than I think I need, so that I feel a bit more confident about going back

You have all been so supportive. I'm so glad I found this thread when I did x

Daisycat16 · 18/01/2022 16:27

Well I’m totally amazed (and feeling silly for not being more aware) but I had a scan to see what was going on and the miscarriage has happened. Obviously I feel sad about that part but so relieved it’s happened so no surgery needed. I was surprised as it was absolutely nothing like how I’d imagined/was advised on what to expect but I think as strange as this sounds think I may have just been fortunate to be what seems an exception to usual.
Thank you for checking in, I have found this thread really supportive/helpful,

Snowrose21 · 18/01/2022 16:55

Aww @Daisycat16 I’m pleased to read that! As much as the scan is hard hopefully you can start to process things and begin your recovery. It seems these experiences vary so wildly. I’m glad things are moving the right way after such a horrible few days and you can now do things in your own time rather than have to go through surgery. Take it easy xx

Daisycat16 · 18/01/2022 17:20

Thanks@Snowrose21. Onwards and upwards as they say x

ShouldIStaySelfIsolated · 18/01/2022 17:31

@Daisycat16 good news about the surgery. Now the physical part seems to be over, you can focus on your mental recovery. Wishing you the best with that x

Daisycat16 · 18/01/2022 17:37

Thanks @ShouldIStaySelfIsolated and you also. Take care and time to heal x

ShouldIStaySelfIsolated · 18/01/2022 17:38

@Daisycat16 thanks x

pv3012 · 18/01/2022 17:41

@Daisycat16 glad to hear you won't need the surgery after all! Look after yourself.

OP posts:
pv3012 · 18/01/2022 17:42

I think it's so difficult to know what to expect and most of what I found was so scary that I thought that's what it must always be like.

That's the reason why I thought I'd start this thread and I'm so happy that it's helped you all have a place to come and find a little bit of support at this horrible time!

Thanks for sharing your experiences @Snowrose21 @ShouldIStaySelfIsolated @Daisycat16

OP posts:
ShouldIStaySelfIsolated · 18/01/2022 17:44

I'm so glad you did. Thanks @pv3012

Daisycat16 · 18/01/2022 17:53

Yes thanks @pv3012 x

Sassy144 · 28/01/2022 11:39

@pv3012 I just wanted to thank you for sharing your experience with us. My experience this past week has been extremely similar, and it helps to see that I'm not alone ❤️ sending lots of healing love and hugs to you and everyone else here xxx

Mummytryingfor2ndbaby · 09/03/2022 15:08

Hi,

I had a miscarriage at 12 weeks 5 years ago and pain wise it was like a heavy period. The pain was manageable with pain relief and hot water bottle. There was no crying in pain or anything of the sort. You'd be surprised at how strong your body is.

Elizabethj89 · 09/06/2022 13:05

its been helpful reading stories on this feed. Yesterday I found out baby had passed away at a fetal medicine appt. Baby was very unwell and we have had a couple of weeks of not knowing what was happening with baby. I took the first tablet at the hospital tomorrow, and will be going in to hospital tomorrow for the further tablets, and will stay in until baby comes. I am so scared of the pain and the unknown.

ShouldIStaySelfIsolated · 13/06/2022 20:02

@Elizabethj89 I'm so sorry to hear that. The nor knowing is just torture isn't it.

Mine happened naturally... for me, the pain was mostly manageable with paracetamol and a hot water bottle. At its worst, it was like early labour pains, and I probably could have done with stronger pain relief, but that part was over fairly quickly... maybe an hour. That was when I passed most of the tissue.

I hope you're as OK as you can be and that you have support around you

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